my message to you!

hey everyone! well i'll soon be hitting the road for a few hours to visit good friends for a nice new year's eve bash. i like new year's cause its the only time i can say the word "bash". :-)

i was trying to figure out exactly what i could say to express to everyone what it means to have you reading my blog, supporting my projects by buying shirts, sending me inspiring messages, sending me naked pictures of yourselves (hee), and just being *you* all year long! i'm not very good at the speech lernin' so i'll leave it to this video to say over and over again what i REALLY think of all of you reading this right now!!! i'd say it to each and every one of you personally if i could!



watching the vid again just reminds me how amazing we all are as a community. i know most of the time, its all fun and games (until someone loses an eye to a dildo-related accident, that is!)...and we (you, me, and lesbians in general) throw the best parties, and serve the best lesbian beer, and make the coolest lesbian shirts. but i also know (because youve written to me time and time again) that there are girls/women out there who struggle with coming out, or admitting the feelings to themselves, or depression, or losing a friend, or worrying about how the family will react, friends...etc. and i just want to say to those people, that as long as you know me, and have my myspace address (myspace.com/idgogayforangelina) and email address (interludemagazine@yahoo.com), and phone number if you need it, you are NEVER ever alone. thats my promise to you.

ok everyone! i hope you'll leave a comment and let me know what your goals and dreams and everyday hopes are for 2007. for yourself, for the world...all of it!

i hope to be able to meet lots of you this year. thats definitely one of my top priorities. i want to travel like i did when i was younger...and by this time next year have lots of new friends! i want to see some of my old and dear friends that i havent seen in WAY too long. i hope to continue to be optimistic about everything...ummm...it would be nifty if my little tshirt project could blow up. thatd be nice. i hope to watch a good friend take over the music industry, one fan at a time and be right along side her as she does:-) im also crossing my fingers for a video interview with Katharine Mcphee to post on my blog. you know, when she's through sexin' me. cause she spends a LOT of her time sexin' me. busy beaver, she is. mmmm...

aaaand, yes, i hope to meet a nice young lady who will be *the one*. british or not! ;-) but if she's not british, i hope she can fake an accent.

alright, i'll lift myself off of santa's lap now and say HAPPY 2007 to everyone! i hope its your best year yet, and that youre safe, healthy, hot, available to me, and can fake a british accent. and *here's* to more hot naked pictures of yourself sent to me in the new year!

-arlan

somewhere out there, there's a lesbian that needs your help.

i'm donating immediately:

to the left, to the left...

i love how the cheatin' girl is wiping her mouth the whole time this is happening.

ah, Cheaters, will you ever fail to entertain?



i also have to say that Beyonce's "Irreplaceable" has some of my favorite lyrics of 2006 (*indicates my favorite lines):

To the left
To the left

Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff - Yes
If I bought it please don't touch
And keep talking that mess, that's fine
*But could you walk and talk at the same time
And It's my mine name that is on that Jag
So remove your bags let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard telling me
How I'm such a fool - Talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
*matter fact he'll be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So go ahead and get gone
And call up on that chick and see if she is home
Oops, I bet ya thought that I didn't know
What did you think I was putting you out for?
Cause you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
*Baby you dropped them keys hurry up before your taxi leaves
Standing in the front yard telling me
How I am such a fool - Talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be here in a minute - baby

the best 2:25 minutes you'll spend today

i cant imagine there's anyone left who hasnt seen this yet. but if you havent, you're welcome. and if you have, there's ALWAYS room for more gangsta Natalie Portman!

Lousha's penis...can lite yo cigarette

add these two chicks to the list of lezzies id like to kick it with. i swear, i'll rent a minivan and we can all go to the mall and have a gay old time. and for those of you who've been asking, click here for their youtube profile. tell em i sent ya!

man, im so easily entertained...


i dont know what this is, but i wanna do it with them.

one man had a dream...

...and we all share his dream, whether we admit it or not...


hey, if you're gonna be a straight guy getting two straight girls to make out on camera, make sure you make the vid clever, with cool music that entertains me. and make sure to include two good lookin' girls who dont use too much tongue or giggle at the end.

two thumbs up, young fellow! i applaud your efforts!

she's wearing a tie and hat, in a bathtub. catch me, im falling.

why, oh why, oh lord, oh WHY, didnt i know about this before?


LOOK at them, you bastard? dont put your head down like you dont care?? have you no heart? have you no soul??

ahem...ok that clip is from a 2004 movie called "Head in the Clouds". and yes, thats Penelope fuckin' Cruz and Charlize fuckin' Theron kissing each other. oh MY. if youve seen this movie, please let me know if i should rent it. dont give me any spoilers...just uh...yay or nay on Netflixin' it this week. thanks!

oh and for everyone who has not seen it yet, here's a really well-done video. really makes me wanna see it even if there arent any more lezzy scenes!


the reason i came across this movie is cause very recently, Penelope Cruz has been having some fun denying lesbian rumors that she started:-) since she's so chummy with her best mate Selma Hayek, apparently its a huge front page story on every tabloid in Mexico that theyre a couple. mmm...

wait no...think about that. think about it...yes....everyone...close your eyes and return to the post in 30 seconds. i'll do the same...

mmmm....

butter...

she recently fueled her own bisexual rumors when someone in the press asked her who her best on-screen kiss was. she said it was Charlize! love it.

ok. the Selma/Penelope rumors are supposed to be false, but im just gonna hold on to the happy place in my heart that says theyve had many a pillow fight and shared many a cough drop during their friendship. ive recently had a MAJOR crush on Penelope. her accent...the way her mouth moves...her sense of humor...its all lovely. Penelope, call me. i'll have Mcphee put on a fresh pot of whipped cre...i mean coffee...and we'll fu...i mean...TALK...all night. just the 3 of us. er...4...of us. you bring your girlfriend too!

here she is on Ellen, from November...

he's not taking over for Katie Couric anytime soon.

hee...

video diary

i'm loving all of these reader vids! keep sending them to me @ www.myspace.com/idgogayforangelina. it's really cool to see you guys. i feel all warm and fuzzy. all together now:

*aaaw*

alright...

this one is from a 16 year old in California. she's really soft spoken, so you gotta listen up.

just a little commentary on chicks, and being a lesbian...i've received SO many messages from different teenage girls with the same story. so you might relate to this...


if you want to talk to this chick, you can send her a message on her myspace page.

Lizzy in Spanish?? she bang, she bang!

could Lizzy the Lezzy get any cooler?? check out the brand new SPANISH version!


add her creator Ruth Selwyn as a friend on myspace:-) and be sure to vote for her on the *aniboom contest*. see her myspace page for more info!

Jennifer Beals on Lifetime, New Years Day

she'll star in a new made-for-tv movie called "Troubled Waters". maybe its 2 hours explaining to us why Tina is shagging a dude?

anyway, it first airs on Jan 1st, 9pm...and then you can buy it on DVD a couple of weeks later. i believe you can pre-order it on Amazon.com right now.

is this where they touched you? you poor baby.

oh my god...this is making me laugh out loud and strangely turning me on at the same time...uh...


im not sure what the hell is going on, who the hell is doing it or why the hell they filmed it, but yeah...its a *moment*. and thats what im here for. sorry the sound is weird too.

so...what's everyone doing for new years?

no one here has a *straight* face.

here are some bloopers for hump day. they were specially chosen because there's a little (or a lotta) gay to be found in each...

the dykes are too strong for her and eventually she's overpowered!

this chick sent this to me.

the description from the vid (made in the 60s!) is "snippet from a social propaganda film piece about lesbianism."

lol, what the hell??



i'm the uh, "bull...dyke", in this vid, by the way.

i dont know what the young deb is complaining about. that seems like a good party to me! and there's a pipe involved?? i mean, seriously, im thinking of showing this vid at my new year's party to let the ladies know what im expecting.

“Is this why you wanted a queen size bed and put a lock on your door?"

i was sent this essay by a chick that reads my blog. i thought it was very honest/entertaining and i wanted to share it with you all. i think we can all relate!

click here to read her essay.

you can visit Emma's myspace page by clicking on her pic below.



here's an excerpt:

"A week earlier I had a conversation with my mom, a blond heavy-accented Swedish woman, that went something like: “I think I’m a lesbian,” to her nervously laughing and shaking her head like I was six years old and had just asked to paint the walls with my fingers. Not only did she not believe me, but the word “lesbian” to her sounds too much like the Swedish word “leskigt,” which means scary and weird. She started cooking dinner and insisted that I didn’t use that word again."

i want a lesbian for christmas. anyone interested?

here's a little gift from your neighborhood lesbian elf. merry christmas or whatever it is that you do! :-) -arlan


Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings...

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles...

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings...

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes...

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes...
Silver white winters that melt into springs...

When the dog bites...

When the bee stings...

When I'm feeling sad...
I simply remember my favorite things...


And then I don't feel so bad...

Breakfast at Epiphany's

alright kids. gather 'round for a christmas story. everyone have their hot chocolate? good.

now, i know i should probably know about this movie already. and i know some of you will be like, uh, duuuuh. but this post is a shout out to those of you who are like me, and find that every day, something wondrous and gay happens. something new, that illuminates the imagination and sparks the...oh i dont know. i was just trying to think of a Disney commercial and describe it. but its really late and ive had a hard day.

so kids, i wanna introduce you to a miss Audrey Hepburn and a miss Shirley Mclaine. and i want you to watch, as Shirley confesses her love to Audrey. in 1961. oh and if miss Arlan falls out of her chair (again) while i play this clip, i want one of you to go to the principal's office and say "dyke down! dyke down!" and get help. k kids?

k...

oh and, you're welcome:

from 1961's The Children's Hour. i bet -->these actresses watched the movie for inspiration. isnt that a cool thought??

i've had that conversation with a woman more than once. and i was freakin' out just like Shirley. tossin' my hair around and everything. who here hasn't? ;-)

i'll do things to you...good things...

"Cosa Bella" is a really well-made movie short that i just came across. its 16 minutes long and i have all of it here. before posting, i did some research to make sure i wasnt taking away any money from the writer/director Fiona MacKenzie by posting the entire thing here. but it seems that she wants it to get out to as many people as possible. if you like this, you should check out Fiona's 2007 movie "Alpha Numeric" starring Winona Ryder. right now it looks like its coming out in the UK first. hopefully wide release soon after.

update! you can purchase this short along with 5 others on the DVD "She Likes Girls". click here to purchase.

"Cosa Bella"
written & directed by: Fiona MacKenzie
starring: Alexie Gilmore & Stephanie Szostak

Part 1


Part 2


+ there's a love scene
+ the song in the love scene is "Breathe Me" by Sia.
+ the one chick's hot Polish accent
+ i think they went a long way on their $30,000 budget
+ you know, lesbians. thats hot.

- im not in love with the ending

...but, if i were going to film a movie, i dont think i'd know how to end it either. and this past weekend, i heard someone say on my 2nd favorite older white dude tv show (second to "Frasier"), "Sunday Morning Shootout", "a happy ending means the story's just not over yet." im paraphrasing cause he said it a lot better than that. but i agree.

"3 for 3, you are a homosexual, Barbara."

the last 40 seconds of this vid makes me wanna poke my eye with a straw. but the first min and 40 seconds are really cute, i think. anyone who's seen the first season of South of Nowhere will recognize the first bit. the main chick that's talkin' is someone i would have liked to have hung out with in high school. and the chick she's askin the questions to...i see a love connection in their future. aw. if youre 16 & under, i guess you can talk to one of the girls (dont know which one) by going to her myspace page. i wouldnt recommend anyone over 16 doin that. wouldnt you feel creepy? update: seems theyre 18, not 16. i guess "Loving Annabelle's" just got me really paranoid;-) you can talk to the chick asking the questions on her myspace page.



i was thinking, it'd be really cool if some of you chicks that read my blog would send me vids of you talkin about sumthin' gay or doin sumthin' gay...or like, doin somethin thats not necessarily gay, but the fact that *you are* gay, would make it gay. ya know? i dont know, it would just be cool to have a post with some reader vids. of course, make it interesting and somethin you'd wanna see on here...but use your imaginations and gay it up!

how many times can i say "gay" and "first" in one post? hmm?

if you wanna submit somethin to me, i cant promise that it'll make it on here, but i'll try! send me the link to it with a little description to my myspace page @ www.myspace.com/idgogayforangelina. it can be like uh...Lesbians Got Talent or uh...the Real World: Lesbiantown. or you know, something not as LAME. :-)

i want 2 lezzy doctors that looks like this.

i miss mainstream lesbian Regina from "out of practice". some people complained that she wasnt realistic enough. or something. i never quite understood that complaint. it was nice to have a lesbian sitcom character who wasnt teaching the world about adoption or same-sex marriage rights in every episode.

nope...all regina worried about was who her next hook-up was gonna be and how to steal chicks from her brothers. she was purdy, funny, and normal. and still hotter than any of my doctors. plus, im sure Jennifer Tilly (who also starred on the show) was able to give her a few pointers off set;-)



how can you cancel a show that had cast members from Grease, Happy Days, Popular, AND Bound??

god bring us lesbians...we need more of them in the world...

this is the video's description on youtube: "Another voice over my sister did for yet another religious channel. Sing Along if u like! XD"

these siblings make me giggle. it reminds me of the times when my bro and i used to sit around and watch the Golden Girls and crack jokes. them were the days. too bad the camera person is uh...gigglin just a little TOO hard to hold it steady.

if this vid makes you giggle, i wanna hang out with you. we can drink hot chocolate and do each other's nails.



here's their youtube profile.

oh and this is the first vid they did, in case you were wondering:

this is just like what happened to me at Starbucks!

and if they were wearing purple strings, they would be filming them DOIN' IT right now instead of what actually happens at the end.

:-)



oh and if youre complaining about the bad acting in this little clip, you're so missing the point. just get a hold of your senses, rewind vid, sit back, and watch it again. this time, remember youre a dyke and touch a nipple or somethin;-) k?

for real.

i think we were separated at birf.

i wish kristen wiig and maya rudolph would do this!

haha, have i mentioned how much i love you Brits?

from a sketch show called "Smack the Pony"...

"on the market for some hot lesbian chicks"...and who isn't, really?

i've never posted something like this here, but i figured we'd give it a go! one of the readers of this here blog posted this vid on youtube, looking for "some hot lesbian chicks." i'm like 1 step from doing that myself (*sigh*) so i had to admire her pluck.

if you would like to talk to miss Chelsea (she lives in Texas and is 18) you can visit her on her myspace page. so yeah...chelsea, let me know how the hunt goes. and good luck young one...good luck.

this is why i love Katharine Mcphee...

god, i didnt think it was possible to want her more...but yeah...


thats her explination of this horrible...horrible...thing...that happened on american idol:

Lizzy vs. the L Word ;-)

Lizzy's come a long way since we first met her 2 months ago.

this is a Lizzy special made for our favorite L Word fan site www.thelwordonline.com. oh, and it contains spoilers from season 3. but if you've been on my site at all, you know these spoilers. so...yeah...just a warning!

hee...



to see more Lizzy vids, add her creator Ruth on myspace at www.myspace.com/RuthSelwyn!!

here's her christmas special!! do you think its possible to marry a cartoon character? i know its possible to STALK one *cough*jessica rabbit*cough*...

german chicks...doin' it. scheise!

you dont have to sprechen Sie Deutsch to understand this clip...dayum...


from a german tv movie called "Affäre zu dritt"

imdb.com describes it like so:
The movie is about a married couple, both are police officers and they're not very happy with their marriage. The wife meets a mysterious woman at work and she's very attracted to her. But the husband is the new partner of this mysterious woman, so it leads to complications and sex.

but i describe it like:

dayum!

i'll be in my bunk.

um, where the FUCK was i in 2002 when this was on tv??



here's another vid (out of order) from the sci-fi show "Firefly"



actually, now that i take a closer look, believe it or not, i DID see the movie spin-off of this show. im not really a big fan of um...sci and fi. but the movie was entertaining! i dont remember any lesbianism though. shame. the movie was called "Serenity" and i was forced to see it at the theater when it first came out.

no, really. thats the whole story. dont read this. just go back up there and watch that first vid again.

you know, where that chick is rubbin that other chick's buttery back?

mmm...butter.

i just realized i can use the word "pussy" in every post title!

...but i won't.

i'll leave the pussy talk to lesbian podcasters Slo & Green cause theyre definitely good at it:-) i introduced you to these chicks a couple of weeks ago. read the original post for mo' info.

so im about um...lets see...18 minutes into their newest podcast and sure enough, there's pussy flyin' left and right.

oh, and this is what i just heard on this particular cast:

"the reason i started shaving was because i was at a party at my brother's apartment, and (this girl) was there. and shes a slut so she was totally hitting on me..."
-green

(moments later)

"god, why didnt you nail her right then and there??"
-slo

"she was a whore! gross...gross. plus, she was dating my brother."
-green

they also mention me and *you guys* (you know, lezzies, straights & bis who read this) in the first few minutes of this cast, which is super cool:-) so go over there right now, download "SloGreenX 14" and have a listen. leave them comments, salute their shorts, do gay things to them.

update: whoa...definitely stick around for the brazilian waxing war story...

skin...

i tried to steal a bra and a shot glass from Urban Outfitters earlier today, and this is what happened...


naw, just kidding. that's actually what happened when i went to Victoria's Secret to get measured (for the 25th time). they're just more thorough than usual cause of Christmas.

someone made a vid using the opening scenes of the movie Femme Fatale (with Rebecca Romijn-ex-Stamos) and DJ Krush's song "Skin Against Skin" to make this lovely vid.

John Stamos was a fool!

i scream cone

apparently ive been out of the loop for too long.

like...wow...

if you are 18+, click.
(fyi, the link takes you to a sex toy site.)

i cunt date a patient.

oy!


crikey!


blimey!

take 2 Lesebrex and dont call me in the morning.

:-)

ma'am, your 12 year-old daughter's a dyke. thank you. come again.

(i swear there are boobs later in this post, if you make it through my rant.)

i buy my groceries at Target.

its the closest place for me to get to and since i dont have a car, its what works. they dont sell fruit or water, but really, who needs that? im sorta pissed that they dont sell hard liquor. but i make do with their wine selection. im always tempted to buy their wine in a box thingies. but what someone should REALLY create just for me is one of those juice boxes with the little straw that you poke thru, but with red wine instead of apple juice or whatever. id buy em 6 at a time and squeeze the shit out of those things.

anyway, since Target is so big, one thing i like to do to pass the time while im walking around it is to play a little game i created called "DYKE!"

the game is simple. i walk around. if i see a family with a daughter in it, i listen to their conversation for about 20 seconds, and figure out whether or not she's going to be a dyke. and then, if she is, i say internally, "DYKE!" and move on. try it sometime. its tons of fun.

but tonight my fun was interrupted by something...and i just wanna speak to yall for a second about it. i think anyone who is 12 or younger should NOT have a cell phone. they say its cause their parents wanna keep up with where they are, but i dont buy it. first of all, everytime i see a kid on a cell phone, theyre usually talkin to "bridget" or "josh". and that aint their mama. and second of all, if you're 12 or younger, you dont need to be walking around without your mama.

mama's: dont send your 11 year old daughter out with her 10 year old friends to go to Starbucks to get a venti double shot frap at 9:30 at night! and dont let her dress like that. those jeans are TOO tight. i dont care if they're bedazzled. there are perverts walking the streets.

also, little kids, STOP CURSING in public. i swear one day im gonna go on a spanking rampage up and down Target's aisles. you wont be able to stop me from givin' your kid a spanking. especially if the person theyre cursing at is YOU. get some goddamn control over that shit. dont have them fuckin' cursin' and shit. that shits fucked.

ok....

now...im back home...and things are ok. im on my period and i've had lots of chocolate, so the beast has been tamed for now.

im gonna go watch something sad and then watch some porn. just to wrap up the night.

while im doin that, you guys enjoy this...oh my...


if this clip makes you as happy as it makes me, buy "Saving Face" by clicking on the pic below.

ich bin ein auslander

im not sure...what...this is...but its awfully gay.



apparently there was enough of a storyline in that one to lead to a sequel. good thing too, cause i didnt quite get my fill of confusing animated german lesbian soldiers. i give you, part 2...of...whatever...this is...



if this is a video game, i wanna know where i can buy it. even though the last gaming system i played was the original Nintendo. um...Tetris, Galaga and Ms. Packman are all i need. you can keep your Wiistation64 whatever.

nice shoes. wanna fuck?

this is what we're really thinking at the bar...

(starts off kinda slow, but give it a couple of minutes and its really funny)

you are a dirty lesbian!

lol...



this is what would happen the first day i met Katharine Mcphee in *opposite world* if i weren't already married to her.

to a special friend;-)

remember *friend*, "the best head comes from a thug" ;-)



*cheers and merry christmas!*

L Word Season 4...

UPDATE: found this very cool mini doc...behind the scenes stuff.


looks like Leisha Hailey's gonna save this season too...

Teaser 1


Teaser 2


and of course my Helena...*sigh*

Punky Brewster was a dyke.

remember that episode when she and Cherry dressed up as dudes so they could race cars? that was my favorite episode when i was like...8. shouldve known then.

but um, soleil moon frye...smokin' and kissin a chick?? why didnt anyone tell me??


where the FUCK was Mr. Warnimont when all this shit was goin down??

anyway, this makes me cry...


and so does this...

Who Wants to be a Lesbian?

so im sitting here thinking, i want something that combines a few of my favorite things: gambling, screaming announcers, lesbians, lesbians kissing, pickled onions, and lesbians.

...and i also want to not understand whats going on for 2 whole minutes. and i want to not be attracted to the lesbians, as to not cloud my gambling judgement.

this is what i got:


now this is what im thinking...i host a game show with this same premise. except the onion is a peppermint, the girls are hot and actual lesbians, and it all happens in my bedroom. and there are 6 or 7 (un)dress(ed) rehearsals before each episode. i say we hold a blind raffle on myspace once a week with all of your names in it right...and choose 10 or so girls to come to my apartment, take off your clothes, and play this game.

and the announcer is a british woman.

and Mcphee is my co-host. and we do it at the end of each episode.

and we post it here for everyone at home to see. except for the part where Mcphee and i do it. cause thats for our personal vid collection.

the part where 10 of you ladies reading come to my house, take off your clothes and pass a peppermint around by tongue-kissin' each other...well thats for public consumption...

and for me to take to my 10-year high school reunion. the dvd of those highlights in one hand, Mcphee in the other...who's yo daddy NOW, prom queen??

pussy galore

i'm going to ASSume that Lauren DeRose is a lezzy. i'm going to ASSume this because i saw her play last night in san diego at a club's "Pussy Galore" night.

i know what youre thinkin: arlan, it was at a gay event called "Pussy Galore." she HAS to be a lezzy. well nope, cause the other band that my friends asked me to see arent gay. although im sure everyone in attendance wished they were. check out that band 8mm on their myspace page @ www.myspace.com/8mm. im very new to their music, but im digging it, and "Angel" is a standout. i also hear they had a song on the "Mr & Mrs Smith" soundtrack, so thats almost gay, right?

so back to Lauren. she played after them, with musicians backing her, and i dug it. her myspace page is www.myspace.com/laurenderose. support (what i think is) a lesbian musician! FIRST, go to her page and listen to "Broken Sweet Grateful"...i like when her voice uh...does that thing in it where shes all..."and i feel uuuuglllyyy"...it takes me back to 4 Non Blondes real fast. love it:-)

and here's a vid she posted of an acoustic version of "me and my earthquake":


and a live performance of "this circus love":


please send her a message and let her know arlan sent ya!

...and a new Lenscrafters opened.

if i could, i would make this entire blog just random clips of "Roseanne." my FAVORITE show from when i was a kid...

and how many lesbians did it yield??

*sara "darlene" gilbert is a lezzy in real life

*and of course there's sandra "nancy" bernhard who's a lezzy. she's been on Will & Grace and the L Word recently

*roseanne's sister AND mother were both referred to as lesbians during the last season

*the show had the first woman/woman kiss on a sitcom in history (between Roseanne and Mariel Hemingway)

*"becky" went on to star in "Boys Dont Cry"...

and the show was just as gay as it could be in general...

this clip's awesome:

tshirt winner...

the winner of the free tshirt is this chick. if this is you, send me a message on myspace:-)

thanks to everyone who participated. there will be more contests soon!

im installing a pool inside my apartment...

anyone wanna help me install it?

no? you dont like back-breaking work for no money? youre not fond of the idea of your boss (me) yelling at you, hitting on you, and touching your boobies while you work? hmm...i have no money (ich habe kein geld) to offer you, and i cant promise i'll keep my hands off of you, but perhaps this might change your mind:


(little known fact: im singing in this clip. and you guessed it, they kicked me out after the scene was over. after the scene was over. you think im mad?)

yeah, its a shame that boy came in and ruined it. but DAMN. germans know how to use an indoor pool, dont they??

remind me to tell you about my *bitch pool* sometime...hee...

i was just thinking, they should totally have a scene like this on Grey's Anatomy with Meredith and Addison and Mcdreamy. dont you think? he wears that coat anyway. and i could help them with the dramatic close up on him at the end. just imagine it...

ooh...wait a hotter match would be Izzie and Addison. mmmm....

whew is it 6 already??

let me go and um...do some um...bible..reading...and church...storytelling for the deaf..and stuff...

the *naked, grinding lesbians* crusade!

i need your help!

first, if you haven't seen the naked lesbian commercial that ive had posted for weeks, click HERE right now (and then come back;-) )!

now, please DO ME a favor and send your friends to the post to check out the vid (and hopefully other posts too). i want to see how many new readers i can get today! so please post bulletins, post on livejournal, myspace, your own blogs, message boards...everywhere you think people would be interested in seeing two hot naked women all up on each other = EVERYWHERE. thanks!

you can copy and paste the code below, and it will link directly to the original post...or you can tell people to go to:

http://yourdailylesbianmoment.blogspot.com/2006/10/there-are-no-words.html

here's what the code will look like:

copy and paste this code:

<br /><a href=http://yourdailylesbianmoment.blogspot.com/2006/10/there-are-no-words.html><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/ThisismyInterlude/bannerdailymomenthappilyeverafter.png"></a>

Geri Halliwell and Kylie Minogue...snoggin.

'ats right. snoggin'.

hmm...its good to see England and Australia getting along so well...innit.


i think i can safely say that the audience's applause represents ours.

attention: could everyone who is british and reading this please call me and leave messages (naughty or nice) on my phone? thank you kindly.
UPDATE! snapvine now says that you can call the voice comment thingy (on the right) from any country! so uh...click on "record by phone" to get the number and code...and call me ladies;-)

"a saint was licking away my soils"

did someone say "swiss boarding school?"

um, yes please:

(from "Therese & Isabelle...released in 1968!)

oh my jesus. this is definitely one of the best things ive ever seen/heard in my life. and ive seen LOTS of shit.

who dat?

if you read my FAQ's, or look at the post below, you'll notice that i am black.

that being said, id now like to interrupt regular programming to complain about something on the L Word.

i was just looking at my fav L Word fan site www.thelwordonline.com and saw that they had new promo pics from season 4. this one stood out to me:


alright. so ive known about Papi and Marlee Matlin and Cybill Shepard (huh?) being added to the show. i talk to hundreds of lesbians every week. and with all of that, ive heard NOTHING about this black chick. i found myself asking (as Kit would), "who dat?" her name is Rose Rollins and by the looks of things, she's gonna get down with Alice. *yay*.

but that made me think about my random issues with the L Word's black characters.

the first of course being Kit. Pam Grier is an icon. she's growing less young gracefully and im sure she's a lovely person. in real life, she seems to be articulate, poised...you know, normal. but on the show, she says things like "Who Dat?" (i DIED when i heard her say that!) and "uuh UH girlfriend." she doesnt write her lines. so this must be how the writers think we talk. and just because i do talk like that, it doesnt mean we all do!

now...i noticed something in Season 2 and 3. when you put a hot comb to Kit's hair, she all of a sudden starts talking less ghetto. have yall noticed that?? Put that girl next to Bette, with both of their hair straight as a board, and instead of hearing about how "dat fool done her wrong girlfren," instead you almost think you're watching an episode of "Frasier"!

also, when it comes to black men, they go completely in the other direction. remember Tim's coach friend from season 1 and the return in 3? he talks like a surfer dude. and Kit's son. "dude...no way man." i understand that we talk in all different ways. im a bit of a mixture between Ozzy Osburne, Arnold from Diff'rent Strokes, and Edith from All in the Family.

but it just seems to me the L Word writers have never met black people before. so i'm hoping with Rose's new character, we'll get to see a dark-skinned girl speak with the sense her mama gave her. who can be sexy, funny, and get through a conversation without saying "sheeet."

by the way, theyve named this character "Tasha." TASHA!! *sigh* i guess i should be grateful it isnt "ShaKimberly" or "LaJennifer" or RayRay.

< /rant>

Season 4 starts in the U.S. on January 7th. watch-party at my place?

why 1985 is better than any year after it...

because it was my best shoulder year:
...

because it gave us "Back to the Future"...

and...because you just dont get the same quality german-on-geisha random-boob-fondling scenes that you did back in those days. ya know?


meanwhile, back on the farm, 1985 is still fuckin' cool...from the same movie as above, "The Berlin Affair"


here's a music video someone made for the movie set to (my 2nd favorite song of all time) "I Can't Make You Love Me". its beautiful and has lots of other scenes in it. but at around 3:30 mins, you start to see some real *spoilers*. so if you plan on renting it--which the first 3:30 minutes will make you want to--then i suggest you stop there...ya dig? lets hear it for 1985!


and just so 2006 doesnt feel left out...

(from "John Tucker Must Die")

they dont call her Sophia Bush for nothin.

poll.

please humor me and answer this question...thanks.

yall need to quit.

*shakes head*

see, this is why y'all are going to hell. ;-)



oh and..."temporary" insanity? ha.

i can't point it out on a map, but im movin to Bulgaria!

i know, i know. my passport is going to be smokin' by the time i finish visiting all of these places. but seriously, if this is what happens on an average night there, im packing my bags NOW. raise your hand if you wanna share a hostel with me!

from their "Big Brother"...


...they had me at JASGROAHHAGS.

yo mama is a lesbian...

...no penis for her.

hmmm, kids these days...



these girls seem to be about 13, right? im thinking i should take them, and these other girls to the mall and we can cruise for boys and hang out. hopefully we can get one of those buttered pretzels too.

Lezly Lu & the case of the hungry Hungarians

UPDATE 12/14: aw, they took this vid down and i cant find another version of it. im sorry...i'll keep lookin...

fake Hungarian porn lesbians and i have so much in common. like our obsession with brushing our teeth while wearing our little panties, um...lets see...oh yeah, our dramatic pauses. i do the dramatic pause thing ALL the time. and usually there are 2 cameramen in each room of my apartment...

...and in this clip, its like they read my diary entry the day i first met Katharine Mcphee backstage @ American Idol! she too was new to this, and her "girlfriend" at the time was Pickler. so i showed her the ropes, like so:


moments later, i sent Mcphee out on stage to sing an Elvis song. which is why she was SO chipper that night. remember?

my favorite part of that clip is when the one girl asks the other "you haven't done pictures before?" and she says "nope." and then two seconds later, she says, "ive done nude pictures." so perhaps she thought the girl meant like...family pictures. or landscape photography for a college class.

after watching the second half of this thing 3 or 4 times (for research, people...research!)...i once again realized why its better to be a lesbian, than to not...be a lesbian.

that reminds me! how many straight girls read this blog? if youre a straight chick, leave a comment or send me a personal message. im just curious.

like you.

;-)

to her wife...

this is a chick's video to her girlfriend...

this is what she had to say about it:

"Really Cheesy, I know. But hey, I'm in love...I made this video for my girlfriend. On the really crappy "windows movie maker" for windows ME. So there's no special effects. I know I coulda done a better job, but I was limited by this crappy computer...I'm happy and in love, and if you don't like it, then let me kick you in the larynx."

that alone makes me like her:-)

and then this...


makes me envy her...

im moving to australia!

right after i get back from England and Argentina.

i have never heard of this Australian show "Stingers" before. and im not sure if this storyline is in more than one episode or what. perhaps my best-aussie friend and sex kitten Bron can shed some light on the subject...eh Bron?

i watched the clip twice and i still have no idea whats going on. but...lesbians...kissing...and doin it. thats all we really need in a lesbian moment, right?

before you watch this clip, remember, drugs are bad. dont do drugs. um...oh, and australian women who make out with each are hot. k, we all got that? cool...here ya go:


the way the blonde chick says "i'll call ya" at the end of this clip is how i usually do it too. usually the point and the wink. i just lay my mack down like so. hate tha game, not the playa.

for those of you with A.D.D., heres a shorter version with some key moments:


one day i'll learn how to make some of these vids in slow-mo, and really have some fun. ooh...if anyone can make a vid of Katharine Mcphee talking or gyrating or doing anything in slow-mo, i will marry you.

did he say "artificially insert a child...?"

more info here...

once you go gay...

just a quick note to let you guys know i'll be out of town til saturday. while im gone, definitely take a look around the blog, leave comments & gay it up.

im gonna be in L.A. thursday & friday getting my doses of le gay et le straight. if you live in l.a. or are visiting, you might wanna go to these lovely events :

Thurs...
Jenny Owen Youngs @ The Hotel Cafe 8pm
Terra Naomi @ Tangier 9:30pm
Priscilla Ahn @ The Hotel Cafe 10pm

Fri...
Here Lounge in West Hollywood 9pm+

everytime you kiss him, you're tastin my pussay...

i used to be a hardcore Janet Jackson fan. i mean, HARDCORE. which is why i sat through 1993's "Poetic Justice" more than once. i was but a child...and quotes like "they still gon' fuck you up!" made me think janet was the black meryl streep.

so, when the movie's director John Singleton had a follow-up film, i was first in line at the video store to see it. im sure it was at theaters, but i think i spent my theater money on "Dangerous Minds" or somethin that year.

with my little *i-dont-know-what-gay-is-but-it-sure-looks-nice-to-me* eyes wide open, i watched the following scene in "Higher Learning".

is it true that everytime *this* happens, an angel gets its wings?

(little known fact: i played the piano solo in this clip. again, tossed off the set moments later cause i wasnt hired to do that. and...they claim i tried to steal the sheets from the bed. whatevs.)

mmmm...that was Kristy Swanson (the original Buffy!) and a pre-Oscar Jennifer Connelly. if youre a fan of Jennifer's, you MUST see a 1994 movie called "Of Love and Shadows". i dont remember much about the film, but i do remember two important things. first, it was the first (and only) time i heard the quote of my LIFE:

"I have lived so much that some day
they will have to forget me forcibly,
erasing me from the blackboard.
My heart was inexhaustible. "

...and second, there's a HOT sex scene between Connelly and um...well, Antonio Banderas. i know, i know. alone, he's sort of yuk. but seriously...you put him on a hot woman, and he can do wonders. he's sorta like black mascara. remember the scene in Desperado with Salma Hayek?? uh huh.

oh...and here's one of my favorite scenes from Poetic Justice:

(everytime i go get my hur did, its JUST like this.)




(you can rent any of the movies i mentioned @ Netflix.com)

one down...300 million to go...

im busy being a little elf over here, getting together shirt orders...so i thought id give you a quickie. come back later for more:-)

mmmm..."quickie"...

*ahem*

this is lesbian Kim bein' lesbian Kim on America's Next Top Model 5:


your thoughts?

my big T*it* girl

its monday, so that means im going to yell at you to watch "Heroes" and "Studio 60" tonight. Heroes promises to be a BIG show. and speaking of "big"...um...this is from last night's "Big in '06 Awards" on VH1:

did he say "katharine mcphay?"

in all my gushing over katharine, i TOTALLY forgot to mention the fact that her big turnaround on American Idol was her rendition of um..."somewhere over the rainbow."

take a pause and let that marinate.

somewhere....over the fucking RAINBOW. kat mcphee. my wife who pretends to be straight. you mark my words: that bitch is gayer than this.

the Billboard Awards are also on tonight, so im thankin' the Mcphee gods that i have tivo. my wife is doing something on the awards. not sure what, but it doesnt really
matter. just WATCH for her! you guys know why.

on Thursday, hopefully ER will keep moving forward with this new storyline:


Weaver gets all the hot professional women over 40, dont she? damn. Weaver's got game. who'da thunk. if she was on the L Word, Tina would have had to hold on to her shit (aka Bette) like WHAT.

there's lots of gay flyin around the ER this season. (fine) gay younger brothers, the hot chick that starred in "Bend it Like Beckham" with Pouts Knightley (dont know which way she swings, but she's hot and the accent..OH MY)

, and Busy Phillips

who ive had a crush on since "Freaks and Geeks." no one can crash into a house on Thanksgiving like Audrey from "Dawson's Creek." she's hot, wearing a purple string around her wrist or not:-)

no strings attached...

i want...nay...need to know if youre a lesbian the next time im pervin on you at Starbucks. so that i can always tell before i approach you, you must wear this <--click

just like Gayle & Oprah...

the commercials for Gayle King's appearance on The View this week said one thing, and one thing only, about her: "Oprah's friend, Gayle King!"

i wont get into why i *heart* Gayle more than Oprah (and i *heart* Oprah a hell of a lot), but wouldn't it suck to have that be the only thing Barbara Walters could say about you, if you were an editor of a magazine that has a 5 million circulation, and you had a 20+ year history as a successful news anchor?

oh well, im sure she's not crying herself to sleep at night. mostly because she's probably too busy sexin' Oprah. hee, the thought of that makes me giggle. hard.

i bring up Groprah (i just coined that, you like?) because sometimes my friend Terra and i joke about me being her *Gayle*. and surprisingly, even with one XL lesbian (extra-lesbian lesbian--that would be me) in our couple, we're still not as gay as Oprah and Gayle.

Exhibit A (taken from a recent interview they did with Oprah's mag that Gayle edits):

Lisa: Well, let's get right to it! Every time I tell somebody, "I'm interviewing Oprah and Gayle," the response is always the same: "Oh. [Long pause] Are they…you know…together?"

Oprah: You're kidding. People are still saying that?

Lisa: Every single person. And I say, "No, I don't think so." And invariably, they respond with something like "You know, you're very naive."

Oprah: I understand why people think we're gay. There isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it—how can you be this close without it being sexual? How else can you explain a level of intimacy where someone always loves you, always respects you, admires you?

*a little later in the interview*
Gayle: And sure enough, the tabloid headline was "Oprah's Hideaway with Gal Pal." Ridiculous. But that said, I have to admit, if Oprah were a man, I would marry her.

mm hmm.

oh and side note! about a year and a half ago, i had been selling my shirts for about 6 months, and there was lots of interest in them. so i thought that i should let my mom know about em, before she heard it from someone else. my mom's SUPER cool about me being gay, but i dont like talking to her about it or anything sexual...its complicated but im sure some of you can relate. sooo, all you need to understand about my mom is that shes just like me...but in her 50s. when i called her, i was expecting her to be a bit weirded out by "id go gay for..." shirts...and this is what happened...

me: "i just need you to know that i have a tshirt line that people are liking and you might hear about it sometime."
her: "oh good! what kind of tshirts?"

me:"well they say "i'd go gay for angelina"...and "i'd go gay for shane" who is this woman on a tv show i like.
her: *pause*

me: *worried*
her: "make me one that says, "I'd go gay for Oprah!!"

me: uh, what?
her: "oh! and one that says, "I'd go gay for Martha." cause i would! cause you know...she's been in prison...

me: uh, what?
her: *sounding really excited about this* "make sure theyre the right size"

(edit:click here to get the oprah shirt;-) )

now finally, to the point of my post. terra naomi:-) one of my best friends, one of the people i respect and admire the most. and one of the sweetest people in the world. *aw, lovefest*

ive mentioned her numerous times here before. so you might know that she has a new web-only little show on youtube called "Virtuality." (look for my lesbian name in the credits:-) ) there's a brand new episode that id love for you to check out and comment on. all the episodes are shorter than 5 minutes, so definitely take a look if you can.


Episode 5 -- in London/Manchester...this one makes me smile


Episode 4 -- im quite proud of this one...


Episode 3 -- im a nerd and Richard Branson is my hero, so all the youtube behind the scenes stuff excites me. 1.65 billion?? *goosebumps*


"Beauty Fades" -- again, one of my top 3 terra songs of all time.


you can add Terra as a friend on myspace at www.myspace.com/TerraNaomi. tell her that "her Gayle" sent you;-)

you and my mom would go gay for Oprah...

(i switched the order of this blog entry on purpose...)

i have received a few messages from people wanting me to make the "id go gay for Oprah" shirt my mom thought of (see THIS post! ). you dont have to wait for me to make these officially. i offer personalized shirts! so, if you would like to buy a personalized "id go gay for..." or "id go straight for..." tshirt, like these:

just click here and scroll down. choose "customized shirt" in the pulldown menu near the "add to cart" buttons. if you want it to say "...oh wait!" on the back, just let me know in the order comments. you can have any statement you want as long as its less than 30 characters including spaces. easy as that:-)

lesbian FAQ's

im working on a FAQ page right now...click here to see it. it will answer *all* of your questions.

let me check my database...

ok, so i hate the word "blog." i hate the words "webinar" and "webisode." i hate the word "podcast." there are lots of random words i hate. mostly for reasons that i wont get into here...but if you wanna know, send me a message and i'll bore you with my mild-o.c.d ramblings.

be that as it may, this post is about all of that stuff. i guess any word can be made better if you throw the word "lesbian" in front of it. am i right or am i right?

first up, im being thoroughly entertained by a couple of podcasters that go by the names "Slo" & "Green." they're two lesbians who live on opposite sides of the U.S.. i dont think i ever really listened to a full podcast before theirs actually. like i said, i dont like the word...and the idea used to sort of scare me. random people talking about random shit. hmmm...i do that every day...why do i need to listen to it? well i'll tell you why...cause they have hot voices...they talk about hot things...have good chemistry, um...lets see...oh yeah, theyre GAY...and they like to use the words "pussy" and "fuck" a lot. (which, by the way, are words i do like.)

based on that, im sure 50% of you reading have already started looking for the link.

go to their blog here. read about fun stuff. then click on "shows" to access their plethera of um...well...shows. ive listened to a few already and i laughed, i cried, i said "ew" out loud a couple times. it was good times.

speaking of "plethera,"..."Three Amigos" was a fuckin' awesome movie. and now Jefe is on "Ugly Betty" as the dad. you see that?? crazy. i used to own the movie on VHS. if anyone would like to send me the dvd, im taking old random dvd donations. *call me...we'll do lunch*

Slo & Green are friends/fans of the (seemingly) uber popular L Word podcasters KC & Elka. check them out here.

and to round out the gay experience we're all having here, i stumbled upon a lovely lady named Allison. Allison has it all going for her. she's British....she's a lesbian........

wait. yep thats all it takes.

oh! and she blogs about being British and being a lesbian. click on her name above and bob's your uncle.

for those of you (and when i say "you," i mean, "me") who dont like all the words and book learnin', here's YOUR daily lesbian moment:

have mercy!


make sure you hug someone you love today and high-five a stranger! love y'all.

something...like a phenomena

for anyone who hasnt been able to see the Season 4 promo vid on the showtime site, etc. this is being featured on the front page of Youtube.com right now on CBS' page. CBS owns Showtime...so yeah.

i'm still mad that this new character's name is "Papi." and im wondering why they didnt utilize the wonderful eye candy that is Kristanna Loken in this promo. but whatevs.


(song is "Something Like a Phenomena" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs)