My Mama's Birthday, March 12th...

Yo! If you'd like info on how to send my rad mom a birthday card, add me on myspace at www.myspace.com/idgogayforangelina and look for my bulletin about it. If you don't have myspace and want to send a card, email me at interludemagazine@yahoo.com with the subject "mom's bday" and I will give you the info. Thanks!

Tegan & Sara Doin' it Bi Way

So it seems YDLM reader Becky from the UK gets all the girls. First she got to kick it with some of the girls from the L Word at their UK convention (click here to read her story about that) and now she's popped up as the first person on Tegan & Sara's "Backstage Bilingual" shindig. I'm liking this idea mostly cause I get to hear British lesbians...ya know...talk.



And here's the second episode...


Go to Tegan & Sara's myspace page to see more once they add them and to hear more music if you're not familiar (believe it or not, those people do exist. It's ok. Welcome). It looks like its going to be an awesome series.

South Of Nowhere Cancelled? Are the Rumors (are) True?!!

UPDATE: Thursday, 6:45pm Central time...unfortunately, the rumors are true. Read the announcement straight from the horse's mouth:
http://www.the-n.com/community/nsider.php?id=6603

I don't normally post rumors and speculation (except those involving me and Mcphee doin' it the back of her limo after each new episode of American Idol. It's tradition.), but there's a HUGE buzz happening right now and I thought you guys would want to be aware if you weren't already. There are strong rumors circulating that when South Of Nowhere has it's next new episodes starting in April, they will be the series' last.

As you would imagine, the lesbians are in an uproar over the whole thing. There's supposed to be an official announcement about it on Friday, but I hope it really is just a nasty rumor started by someone on Degrassi or something;-)

To read ALL about it and join the big army of pissed of dykes (who might be rebels without a cause), go to
www.savespashley.com. I want the show to be on long enough for Ashley to get Spencer pregnant, so let's rise up...or somethin.

Missy Higgins Releases New Album in the U.S...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Top 10 Reasons L Word Season 5, Episode 8 Was "a Masturbatory Opus"

#10. "She's a 'Spaghetti Girl': straight until wet!"

She might have just been cast on the biggest straight-people wet dream on television ("Dancing With the Stars") but Marlee Matlin still remembers what's really important: awesome one liners about what it takes to turn a chick gay. Not much, as it turns out.

9. I can't wait to see Max take Adele down. Max wasn't even in this episode, but he still made an impression on my heart. As does Britney Spears (not really). So I give you...both:


(S)he's hot.

8. Sorry Paris and Zac Efron. Turns out the L Word doesn't want your dick after all. If he didn't know it already, leave it the El to let Zac know he's not "hip, hot, hunky, NOR handsome." As Martin Lawrence used to (almost) say...Dayum (T)ina! That had to sting. And I wonder if Paris knows that her buddies at the El think she's not an actress. Hmmm... Months go by. Minds change I suppose. And if Curve Magazine can handle season 4 where they were being treated like slime on the show while promoting the hell out of it in real life, I'm sure Paris can get over it to. That is, if she still remembers what the L Word is.

7. Which came first, the chicken, or the lez? I wanna know if Kelly Mcgillis got the lesbian haircut before or after being cast on the show. I've also decided that I'd like very much to be cast as a stoic court reporter if the L Word gets a 6th season. Or like...as Helena's bra. I'm flexible. *ahem*

6. L Word writers: You can't handle the truth! I love how Alice said during testimony matter-of-factly when asked how long she's known Tasha, "maybe a year. I don't know." She wasn't being flippant. With their infamous juxtaposition of time, even the writers don't know how long they've known each other. I thought it was 3 months. Ha...you know I still love y'all, right.


5. Tasha, you run like a girl, gurl. But damn if she still knows how to fill out a military uniform. DAMN. I mean really, god bless you. It's just a shame how your *ahem* best friend Papi *ahem* just disappeared on you like that. Your uh, best friend *ahem* not being there for you during the most important days of your military career. I wonder where she is. Some would say that I even wonder where the hell Papi is.

4. As a rule, I always bet on Bette. I don't know what the hell was going on with Bette's hair this episode, but the veil of misty confusion disappeared once I realized she was once again quietly giving THE best lines of the night. Highlights include "...some kind of lesbian dinner party nightmare" and the "masturbatory opus" line about Jenny's film that inspired the title of this post. It once again proves my theory that Ilene made Bette in her image. And that reminds me of one of my favorite videos on youtube...


Haha...

3. Sex and titties, and yes, even boobies. Though not overtly used in this episode, its still important to note that the writers payed attention to the need to show me it's loyal audience boobies and titties and stuff this season. "Anonymous" recently left a message on one of my 2 new blogsites and said that I should stop talking or thinking about boobies (I cant remember which, cause I was thinking and talking about boobies when I read it). And to that particular "Anonymous," I say first of all, hi! *big gay wave with my shirt off and titties swaying* And second I say, um...if you don't appreciate bare boobies and talk of bare boobies, you have certainly found yourself in exactly the wrong blogarea...as it were. So I press my hard nipple against your rigid face and I say to you, go on over to a less-boobtacular blogspace. Like the um..."I dont like boobies or fun or sunshine or happiness...ever...at all" blog I've heard so much about. So for the record, I say 'yes' to more gratuitous locker room nake-ticity. 'Yes' to more Shane on Shane hairdresser chair sex. And 'yes' to more of Dawn's lover Cindy and my lover Niki being completely naked, anywhere, all the time.

2. Tasha and Alice. Doin' it. But this time, with their hearts. Aw. It was so romantical and shit. Good job, team!


1. I'd go gay for...the L Word! My own masturbatory opus happened when Molly said the words: "I'm gonna go gay for shane and..."

Yes it was a proud (lesbian) moment for me when the show pulled from my super-cool uber-famous "I'd go gay for Shane" tshirts. I guess they didn't like the less popular "Make Dana a ghost in season 5, don't send away Helena in season 5, where the frick is Papi in season 5, and where's the episode where Arlan gets to, ya know, *do it* with all the lead actresses...in season 5?" shirt. Maybe next season? :-)

...and to my sweet Helena, wherever you are...


You jump, I jump, right Helena? *sigh*

Support Your New Straight Girl Crush

Sara Radle is an old school friend of mine from my years in Dallas. I was (and still am) a big fan of her now defunct band "Lucy Loves Schroeder" (PLEASE BRING IT BACK!!). Since relocating to Los Angeles, she's played with The Rentals and her newest band Calamity Magnet. Sara sent this message to her friends/fans today:

I am writing to ask you a favor. Next Sunday, March 2nd, I will be running the Los Angeles Marathon - my first! For this run, I have chosen PATH (People Assisting the Homeless) as my charity to sponsor. My brother Chris (who is also running next Sunday) and I are now taking donations at the following webpage:

www.firstgiving.org/calamitymagnet

We would really appreciate anything you guys can give - even if it's only one dollar. PATH is an amazing organization, and I know they would appreciate your donation, as well. You can read all about their housing and supportive services for the homeless at www.epath.org.

Sara directed, filmed and edited this music video for an older song of hers. You'll love it:


That's youtube gold...

*www.firstgiving.org/calamitymagnet*

Lizzy's Tribute to Lawrence King

Please visit Larry's family's official memorial site @ http://www.rememberlarry.com/.

Lesbians on Ecstasy? Hell, I Stand Next to Those Every Friday at Gay Pizza.

I suppose what the all-girl Montreal-based hyphenating-inspiring rock band Lesbians on Ecstasy mean by "ecstasy" is a sort of natural high that you get by being yourself, owning your identity, and embracing your uniqueness. Perhaps their lyrical dexterity and performance prowess is used to evoke a melange of emotions, meant to heighten the senses and challenge your preconceived notions of your creative mind's limitations, thereby literally rocking your core and rocketing your imagination into the stratosphere of change, hope...and dare I say, desire.

Or maybe it's just a euphemism for some good pussy.

Who can say really? What I do know is that these bitches are super gay, and make wicked cool videos where they kick it ol' school. A-like thiiiis:


("Sisters in the Struggle" by Lesbians on Ecstasy)

Add the ecstatic lesbians on myspace @ myspace.com/lezziesonx and let them know I sent you!

Top 5 Reasons to See Killola Live on their Westcoast Tour!

(myspace.com/killola)

5. They totally made a song for me. And it's cleverly referred to as, "The Arlan Song." Just one more way they like to show off their college degrees.


4. Their lead singer is a better actress than your lead singer. Don't believe me? Watch their music video for proof. See if you can spot the exact location in the mental ward where Lisa first asked me to, ya know, *do it*:


3. Lisa's alter-ego is a chick named Dorothea. And this is her themesong:

Be real cool and request this song during their ballad (they ain't got no ballads, son).

2. GIRLTRASH! is gay and so is Lisa...sort of. She's as queer as your two left feet, except she's married to a dude (the walking Pantene commercial of a bass player in Killola). She's what you'd call a dykecon, my friends. Despite her penchant for dudes, she broke bread with the likes of the South of Nowhere girls, Margaret Cho, and Rose Rollins aka "Tasha" from the L Word and still somehow managed to be the gayest thing in this lesbian webseries from Ourchart. If you don't know, now you know:

See more of Lisa in the series GIRLTRASH @ www.ourchart.com/girltrash.

1. Killola joins Girl in a Coma for a tour? And you thought your tourbus was gay! For reals, Girl in a Coma is one of my favorite bands right now. I've been talkin' bout them for a few months now and even interviewed them for Suicidegirls. (Click here to read it.)

Fresh off the heels of their opening slot on the European leg of a little act known as freakin' MORRISSEY, Girl in a Coma teams up with fresh-off-their-backs (newlywed...straight sex...swimmin' pools) Killola to rock our faces off. That's so hot, its icyhot (shout out to Pepe!) If you missed GIAC the gazillion times I mentioned them on my blog, peep their latest vid, yo:


When you go see Killola at any of these dates, first of all make sure to tell the door person that you're there to see KILLOLA!! And second of all, ask Lisa and Johnny where the freak my child support payment is. And if they give you any guff, tell em mixed ethnicity supermodel babies don't feed themselves, alright. Ya heard?

My new blog!

Alrighty folks...I've got something new for you. And to help me announce it, I'm going to use a post I did last July on AOL's gay and lesbian blog site. Read the new info after the list!



So now, I give you my brand new blog (inspired by the "Stuff White People Like" blog):

Stuff Straight People Like! Once you're on the site, definitely read the header description. I'll be updating regularly. Tell your friends!

Hush...

+

=

?

This sweet-ass reader sent in this vid by Juliet Simms cause, as she says, it's "totally a video worth posting on your blog. The 'hush' part totally sounds like an orgasm!"

Totally...


Juliet reminds me of what Chris Carrabba (of Dashboard Confessional) and Ashley Simpson's lovechild would sound like. And as scary as that image is (the Ashley part, not the Chris part), I gotta say I like the results.

Add Juliet's solo music page at myspace.com/julietsimms. There you will find the link to her band--Automatic Loveletter-myspace page. I personally like the solo stuff better. Oh! And the band is on tour EVERYWHERE in the States right now through the summer. So definitely check out the dates on the band's page and try to rub boobies elbows with her.

L Word Episode 508 a week early!

Ourchart.com is doing it again! If you want, you can watch episode 8 in its entirety RIGHT NOW. Keep in mind that because this is being presented by Showtime and Ourchart, it is censored for strong language and sexual situations. SOOOO...you'll still have to watch next Sunday to see Jenny's left and right boobs in all their glory. Just lettin' you know.

Note to all those outside of the U.S. who heard you could view the episode on my site. That was true yesterday, but Showtime took down the embed link on their vid to stop it from happening. I guess that's understandable. Sorry about that. Maybe there are other ways...

Click here to view it now!

Psst...Click here for 40% off sale on select in-stock L Word, Pink, and Tegan & Sara shirts. First come, first serve.

Courtesy of Ourchart.com! Click on that link to go to L Word creator/writer Ilene Chaiken's blog about the first half of the season and to leave comments with other Ourchart members!

Top 10 Reasons L Word Season 5, Episode 7 Was Like, The Fonz or Something

10. Tina's southern, y'all.


I loved when she said the word "tam" (time) at the beginning of the episode. It took me back to a tam when she was but a wee thing in a small town lookin' to *do* Evie. Y'all know what I'm talkin bout. Fuckin' asshoooole! ;-) But when Tina yelled out "Nikaaaaay" at SheBar, I died and went to grits heaven. Represent.

9. Cue *Imgonnagetyousucka* theme music. I was a bit concerned (but not surprised) when I heard the words "I think Tina's gotta thaaaang goin on (inaudible)" and "bow wow chicka bow wown" come from Kit's mouth early in the episode. And although she was even more ghetto this episode than she's been in a couple, it actually WORKED for me this time. I know! Shocked me too. The writer's should learn from this (if they get a 6th season--and don't you worry, I will be writing another letter) is that the only time it makes sense for Kit to be that ghetto is when she's callin' the po-po or yelling at an enemy who's handcuffed and being squeezed into the back of a cop car. Take note!

8. Evil Adele is hotter than Good Adele. Don't get me wrong. Bitch is crazy...but HOT.

7. Alice has always been the "right kind of gay"...and now she gets to prove it on national television. Months ago during a video interview on Ourchart, Leisha Hailey said she'd love to see Alice get her own tv show that was a spin-off of her radio show. And I mentioned it in my open letter to the writers last summer. It seems all of our hours at puppet-master school have finally paid off! Loving how they're calling it "The Look." Uh huh. Be careful Alice!

6. Take our breath away!

The guy who directed my least favorite episode this season (the soupy filmed one where Beech did a back-breaking 180 and was all nice to Tasha again) was Cougar from "Top Gun". Now The El has recruited Kelly Mcgillis. Coincidence? I think not.
I think someone ---> was a Maverick faaaan and I don't mean Dallas. I like the casting this season. We've got lesbians from 24 (Kate French) to 57/58 (Cybill Shepherd/Pam Grier). That's icyhot. And so is this:


5. What you talkin' bout, Phylis?? So I'm diggin the whole filming a movie within a tv show thing mostly because the show is having a good time poking fun at itself and educating us at the same time. For instance, I've always been on the chickwagon and of the mind that people like a certain actress who's name rhymes with "fate" or "fatherine" should be out publicly. To me it was sort of insulting that fatherine didn't want to stand up and be proud to call herself a lesbian or bisexual or whatever when she is playing arguably the most lesbian character in the history of television. I thought she "owed" it to her fans. But uh, I gotta tell you that this episode with the Niki outing thing really has opened my mind, my heart, and yes, my legs, to seeing it from the other person's point of view. Thanks Jenny's boob!

4. The "Stiletto Slut" rides again!

My #1 reason last week is still crazy as hell...and I'm still lovin' it.

3. My number 3 this week is Fonz approved!

And can I just mention again how GREAT Kate Moennig is looking this season? She looks great in every season (there's DVD proof of that), but she was dealin' with a serious case of the heroin-chic dingies a couple seasons there, and I'd lost that lovin' feelin for a while. Now she looks healthier than Jenny's left boob. And that's sayin a LOT!


2. Good things happen in and around my body anytime Jenny and Niki kiss. Even better things happen when they kiss while they're both naked. This week, Jenny's right boob stole the spotlight from Jenny's left boob. Thank you, Jenny's...right...boob. Have I mentioned how hot Kate French is? Yeah. Kinda scary that she's U-haulin it with the whole wanting Jenny's kids thing. But this makes up for it:


1. Slippery. Shiny. Boobies!

Seriously what else could it have been? And that wasn't even half of it. There were slippery boobies as far as the eye could see. And there's a rumor (that Ourchart started, haha) that Ourchart will have its own lesbian turkish oil wrestling match in Hollywood at the beginning of March and will record the whole thing. Let's hear it for those darn Turks and their wonderful invention, shall we?

Sweet...Lord...Jesus.

I have an open letter to all of my UK readers.

"Dear UK readers. I adore you. You're my rock, girl(s). But I have a bone(r) to pick with you. The collective you (Kay) should send me loads of messages anytime anything British and lesbian happens. While you've been on your game in the past, you have let me down recently. Thank goodness this radtastic reader has hipped me to more lesbian Britishness than I can shake a dildo at. She is now the new wind beneath my wings. Fear not other UK readers, I still love you and I will not be kicking you out of bed. You'll just have to work twice as hard(on) to get me back in good spirits. Alright, luv? Alright."

Behold:



That's from a new drama on BBC called "Mistresses." For more information on it, click here!

While they're at it, UK, BRING BACK "Sugar Rush" you bastards!

A Recipe For Love?

So I got this message today:

Hey, Arlan. My girlfriend and I are both pretty avid fans of yours.

She is coming down to visit me for the weekend and tomorrow is our anniversary. I want to do something special so I thought I'd cook for her. BUT I have no idea what to make! You got any ideas? Maybe your fans do!

Please help me.

Thanks in advance.

Um...what a great idea for a blog post! When it comes to cooking dinners, I'm a one trick pony and only have one recipe (that I stole from a friend's mom). So I'm throwing it over to you, my lovely readers. What do you have? I have a feeling the comments for this post are going to make my mouth water more than usual;-)

Oh and because I immediately thought I should make a lesbian cookbook after writing this post, I did some research and found a few that were done 10 years ago. Very interesting...but we should make our own:-) Oh and if you steal the idea, at least let me write the forward!

Shine Ya Tits, Gov'na?

Raise your hand if you know what my favorite type of lesbian is.

Hot. *check*

Naked. *check*

Gay. *check*

British...ok so this is where the record gets stopped abruptly as if someone just walked into your senior dance from a rival high school and she's with, *gasp*, your school's quarterback!! Oh no! Except...this record halt is for all GOOD reasons. For British lesbians are arguably my favorite kind of lesbian. If you don't understand why, I don't know if I'll ever be able to teach you. Perhaps you'll just have to try one for yourself. (Bring Helena back, you bastards!)

This is a cool vid I found with some older lesbians in London talking about coming out. Between shots of them talking you'll notice what seems to be a photoshoot taking place with some effin hot chicks (Dani, eat your heart out). I'll tell you how to get your hands on the BRITISH LESBIAN CALENDAR that those pics ended up in...after the vid!

(Film by Ana Godinho de Matos & Nadia Attura. Set to be released in March.)

Yep how you like them apples? Now, if you'd like to have the ladies from the photoshoot in your home all year round, you can still order the calendar from England. People in the UK can order through amazon.com and everyone else can order through the company's paypal account. It's a band of merry (real) lesbians who shot, styled and modeled for the calendar and every penny (or quid?) they earn from sales is going towards lezzies. Gotta love that.

Click here to go to see all of the pictures from the calendar and to order at ilovelondongirls.com!

Thank you to Toni Turner and my favorite British lesbian site, Lovegirls.co.uk for letting me know about the calendar!

AOL Queersighted Never to be Seen Again?

Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know that I once wrote for AOL's gay and lesbian website, Queersighted.com . You might have noticed that I haven't posted anything there in months. The reason? It sorta...shut down. Abruptly. And maybe for good? I'm not sure. None of the bloggers really are. Now before you go thinking it was some act of discrimination, you should know that several other AOL blogs were shut down during the same time period. It was when AOL laid off lots of their employees to cut costs. My favorite editor in the world, Kenneth Hill was one of the casualties of the layoff and just like Ruth in Fried Green Tomatoes, when Kenneth left, it's like the soul of Queersighted left with him. Kenneth is doin' fine now cause he's a LEGEND in the GLBT world of media. But I still believe AOL made a big mistake. Oh well, whatya gonna do?

The reason I bring it up now is that I was checking out some of my posts over there and realized that a lot of you might have missed them the first time around. So I wanted to invite you to cure your boredom with a good helping of some of my *gay*...Queersighted--and lubricated for your pleasure--style...

Click below...and don't worry, I only posted a couple of times per week on the site so its not TOO much to handle:
May 15th-June 13th
June 20th-July 16th
July 17th-Aug. 10th
August 12th-Sept. 20th

I won't be able to see your comments if you leave them on AOL's site, so if you have any comments/questions about any of the posts, leave them here!! :-)

Valentine's Day For Hunnies

I'm not usually too big on Valentine's Day because of its commercialism. I could take it or leave it. BUT...since I have a Valentine this year, fuck that:-) YAY for Valentine's Day!! Haha...

Happy Valentine's Day, baby:-) *sigh*

Whether you're in love or in court trying to get your cd collection back, I've got the vid for you. Check it:

Category A:
I've always loved this fanvid. Makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.

("They Say It's Wonderful" by Stacey Kent)

Category B:
Tyler ain't no lesbian, but you might relate to what he's sayin. This was my anthem for 2007. Thank god (and Pepe;-) ) that it all changed this year:-)

("I'd Rather Be Lonely" by Tyler Hilton)

Catch my buddy Tyler as the bully in the new movie Charlie Bartlett coming out next week! He's also been nominated as best video character (eh?) on the Country Music Awards for his stunning portrayal (hee) of heartbreaker "Drew" in Taylor Swift's "Tears on my Guitar." You might also recognize him from One Tree Hill and Walk The Line.

Category C:
Hopefully you're not feeling this way, but for those of you who are, you're not alone:

("Fuck the Bitch" by Tanya Manibusan)

Top 15 Lesbian Movies I'm Adding to My Rental Queue

(TIP: Because there are so many youtube vids used on this post, some of you might have some lag time as you make your way down the list. To avoid this, click on "menu" and then copy & paste the urls of each video to watch individually.)

If you haven't caught on yet, I'm incredibly gay. Trouble is, there's only one of me and SO MUCH gay to learn/teach. There are hundreds of lesbian movies (and about a dozen good ones) so obviously I haven't seen them all. I have a Netflix account and a Blockbuster account (long story) and I was going through some movies I wanted to add to my queue. I thought I'd share with you my *Top 15 movies I've never seen before but wanna see based on their trailers* list:-) Hopefully it'll help you with your list as well. If you're not currently enrolled in a video program, you can go to Blockbuster.com
and get half off your first month. It's sort of like DVR/TIVO in that if you haven't used it (or Netflix) before, you'll wonder how you ever survived without it!

Stay tuned after this list to find the link to view my TOP 10 FAVORITE LESBIAN MOVIES (that I have seen) OF ALL TIME list!!

15. Everything's Relative

Cause there are lesbians and campfires and that combination has always beckoned me.

14. Brushfires

Cause I'm from Texas too, and the "wind" has taken me to Chicago...it's lesbian art imitating lesbian life.

13. My Mother Likes Women

Cause the title makes me giggle.

12. Out at the Wedding

Cause that's the dude from "Family Matters" and I miss Urkel.

11. Red Doors

Cause the women are hot and I'm intrigued by the eye patch.

10. Robin's Hood

Cause it looks like a lesbian movie to which I can relate. ...and have relations.

9. Floored by Love

Cause of the Disneyland flag line...

8. The Journey

Cause of the wicked awesome music used in the trailer.

7. Mango Kiss

Cause the title makes my mouth water. Twice.

6. The Gymnast

Cause it's been getting LOTS of hype and the actresses seem extra...bendy.

5. The Children's Hour

Cause I should have seen it years ago and it looks effin' AWESOME!

4. amour de femme

Cause everything's gayer in French.

3. Puccini for Beginners

Cause that's that chick from Grey's Anatomy...and she has a face!

2. D.E.B.S.

Cause I completely suck for not having seen it yet. Angela Robinson (GIRLTRASH, L Word) is one of my favorite directors. I throw myself on the mercy of the lesbian court!

1. Saving Face

Cause I talked about this movie on my site MONTHS ago and still haven't had a chance to see it. Everyone tells me it's wonderful, it looks beautifully shot and very well-acted. I've gotta get on my game!

So there you have it. Hope this was helpful to some of you. I'd like to thank this youtube member for having such a great collection of trailers!

If you'd like to see my Top 10 Lesbian Movies of all time list, click HERE!!

*click below*

Hailey & Gray's Anatomy

If you've been to my myspace page in the last 3 months, you've heard some extra sexy music coming through your computer speakers. I've been jammin' to Leisha Hailey and Camila Gray's band UH HUH HER for a WHILE now. I wanted to mention them to you in case you're one of the only L Word fans who doesn't know about them. For those of you who have been along for the ride since the beginning, you'll be happy to know that they've selected a full-time drummer to complete the band line-up!

Here's an awesome vid of the band at the Knitting Factory in L.A. and some commentary from your fav L Word stars. In case you missed it...

(Taken from SpinDaily.com. Shoutout to this fantastic reader and her girlfriend for reminding me about this vid that originally aired on Ourchart.com late last year.)

If you haven't yet, add UH HUH HER on myspace @ myspace.com/uhhuhhermusic and tell em I sent you:-) There's also the very user-friendly official website at www.uhhuhher.com You'll find concert listings for San Diego, London, Dublin, Austin and Palm Springs for DINAH SHORE (oh yeah baby). There are also blog posts and news updates and uh...some hot bitches named Leisha and Camila. I'm just sayin...

Top 10 Reasons L Word Season 5, Episode 6 Was "a Hotbed of Lesbian Sex Salaciousness"

10. Adele combed her hair!


9. You RAT FUCK! We learned 2 important things this episode: A. Bette's kid isn't as genius as her mother (she called a group of rats "puppy.") And B. Whenever Kit has somethin' good goin, the writers yank that shit out of her (and our) hands. What happened to Kit's album, y'all? They worked so hard on it (yes, I did say "hard on") and then nothin'. Where's her hit song with Snoop? Where's Mangus? Where's Ivan? Where's PAPI? When will it end Ilene? When will it end??

8. It's a tie between that one dude... (an extra playing a crew member) on the set of Jenny's movie in the khakis who just walked from one side of the scene to the other several times, and Jenny's use of the word "apparati" in the opening scene. Both subtle, yet awesome in their own way. Juno-kudos.

7. Shane is a hairdresser. I keep forgetting that! Now mind you they've shown her work on a few dozen heads over the years and I've still yet to see her do anything to the actual hair, BUT...it's Shane so she can get away with that. And in this episode, besides the amazing work she did on Adele, she really earned her pay while working on Alice's hair. Come on you guys, it's hard to gently stroke a ponytail. "Own that ponytail. WORK that updo!"


6. Debby Bimbo or whatever the fuck her name is. "What can't you do, Shane? Other than make my girlfriend come." I love this chick. No idea who she is but I love her. Hope she's in every episode Demboing it up.

5. When I grow up, I wanna be Jane Lynch.

There's not one second of screen time she has on the L Word or on the plethora of movies she's been in that have been wasted or anything short of genius. She's also #5 on my list because she said: "Phylis you hired me to represent you. And then you fired me so we could make sweet love...and then you broke my heart."

4. Kate French is still wicked hot. She just really is. And I bet she does an awesome British accent. Mmmmm... (BRING BACK HELENA YOU BASTARDS...ahem) Keep being hot, Kate. And keep doin' Jenny in all sorts of locations. If you want, you can hire me to be the location scout for where you wanna *do it* with Jenny. I've already got a place in mind. *eyebrow raised* ...and it's called, my pants.


3. Ilene showed up and showed off. We got lots of fancy camera angles and shots during this episode because of Ms. Ilene, who wrote and directed. I know I like to give her a good ribbing (ahem) every now and then, but I really love the way she shot this episode. You could tell that the show was in the loving hands of the person who gave birth to it years ago.

2. Bettina doin it. Hard. And a lot. I've lost track of where Tina lives now or how many kitchens Bette has or if Jodi even has a home. But Ilene handled the love scenes between Tina and Bette with a satin glove. If it weren't for that one dude and his bass voice sayin "doin it" or whatever all during the first of the two scenes, it would be #1 on my list.

1. Jenny. Hard. I know this is controversial. Some of you will say that Bettina/Tibette should be #1. But I would have been fine if the episode consisted of the first 3 minutes alone. I've said it before and I'll say it again (cause she's proving it over and over again) Mia Kirshner is playing the HELL out of this role. Someone send her tape in to the frickin' award shows already. Every line, every hand dismissal, every gum smack...deserves a: THANKS...JENNY's...LEFT BOOB!


Question: Who else thinks Max and Alice are gonna do it?

Writers Block Rock

The Writer's Strike is supposed to be coming to an end very soon. But in the meantime it gives Maggie Gyllenhaal more of an excuse to be hot and awesome:



Thanks to this reader for sending this one in!

There's a Reason It's Called "Fruit."

This is an actual commercial for...fruit. Yep.



You think if we put our heads together we could figure out a way to make a fruit keg?

Thanks so much to this amazingly righteous reader for hipping me to le vibe des Francais and shiz.

Chicago @ Hydrate February 10th

Since I forgot about a little tv program called the Superbowl last Sunday, and since Chicago was hit by a frickin BLIZZARD at the same time, I say we give HYDRATE another go this Sunday, February 10th. It's supposed to be something around 10 degrees that day for some unholy reason, but I'm gonna be there gettin' warm with the ladies of She-Cog-Oh!

I'll be there starting at around 7:30, they play the L Word from 8-9pm and I'll hang out a little while afterwards. Oh and from 7pm til 8pm, they have OPEN BAR. I thought this meant that I was allowed to walk behind it and start serving drinks. Oh contraire my friends, it means something even more awesome: FREE DRINKs from 7pm til 8pm. And then drink specials for the rest of the night. That's sure to warm you up. See you then!

And again, if you're under 21 and you'd like to hang out for a bit, please send me a private message here and we'll arrange to meet at the Caribou Coffee across the street from HYDRATE. Cool? Cool. Like...literally.

Daniela Sea on VH1 Tonight!

I'm not sure what to think yet, so I'll just watch it before I make any judgment. How about that:-)

My buddy Daniela Sea is going to be on the new VH1 "improvised comedy show" FREE RADIO. Two episodes air tonight and she's on the second one that airs at 10pm East/West Coasts, 9pm Central (Check your local listings).

Here's a trailer for the show:



Not sure I dig the trailer, but still, Tivo here I come! Let's support Daniela!

What's Better Than Watching 2 Girls Masturbate Together?

The correct answer is: Watching 5 girls masturbate together. Yep.

A year ago I introduced you guys to a little website called Beautiful Agony. If you're not familiar with it, come closer to the screen cause I'm fit'na whisper this to you:

People--mostly women and sometimes even gay women--film themselves masturbating or being stimulated by a partner. We only see from the chest or torso up. I like to think of it art for your computer screen. Sometimes they'll show two people together. But recently the site really outdid themselves by putting 5 chicks in a circle o' love and lettin'er rip. This video is part of a series.

WARNING: Although there is no nudity or sexual contact in this vid, it is NOT safe for work or school unless your boss or your principal is wicked awesome. Go down in your sex basement before you turn up the volume, ok? You've been warned.
**UPDATE!! Oh snap! They took the vid down...I will try to re-upload on a different host so check back later for this first one. The second one where they're talking below still works, so far...ooooh...


(taken from the "overkill" section of >Beautiful Agony. There's more...)

No. Thank YOU. ;-)

Yeah you know what makes that even better? 4 of em are Australian. Yep. Wanna hear em talk about sex and doin it and stuff? K...

(taken from the "overkill" section of Beautiful Agony. Seriously, there's even more...)

How's that for an alright way to start the weekend.

If you're all hot and bothered and wanna see some girl on girl re-action, click on the pic below to visit my favorite authentic lesbian erotica site:
*click*

She'll KEEL your French ass. 'oller If You 'ear 'er.

Alright so this ridiculously cool reader sent in this vid recently. I know that Celine Dion and the chick in the vid are from two different countries, but I couldn't help but think about what Celine's oozebund would say if she heard this track. 'Ee would probably say, "Celine, as your oozebund I'm asking you not to cover this song. You owe it to your 'ordes of fans not to send out such a strong negative mess-uhg of oui oui non et oui non."

Hey, I don't speak French fluently (or at all) so I don't know what the rest of his rant would have been like. But yeah...

I've watched it 3 times now and from what I gather--mind you, I never finished college so I could be wrong--this chick is PISSED off. And she'll kill you if you're "her." So hopefully none of you reading this is "her." This bitch is crazy...and I love it! It's like if Regina Spektor were (even more) French, pissed off and had taken some sort of sedative right before breaking into the back room of a department store:

("I'll Kill Her" by Soko)

Seriously. She'll keel her. She's so serious, you guys.

I got the official version of the song from Soko's fansite sokomusic.com/. Press play to rock out to the slightly less sedated threat:

And listen to some strangely Bjork meets Spektor meets what I used to sound like at 8 when I recorded myself on my tape player pretending I was a talkshow host and my stuffed animals were my audience...at
myspace.com/mysoko It's sort of genius.

Cause It's a Lesbian Moment.

So I went to the dentist the other day and this is what I found when I walked into the waiting area:



Those dental hygienists are getting more and more thorough each year.

Operation: Get Mika on the Ellen show:-)

I recently received a message from one of my readers, 17 year-old Mika in Colorado. I really dig what she's doing and how her mind (and heart) works. She wanted to know if I could pass on her message about her new organization that she's starting to help at-risk youth. I certainly will....but I thought I'd take it one step further.

I want to try to get (THE) Ellen's attention and maybe get Mika on her show. I know it's a longshot, but I think we should at least give it a try. Ellen's always featuring people who help their fellow (wo)man, etc. The least that could happen would be Mika's organization would be seen by more people than it is right now simply by you guys taking an interest. The best that could happen is that she gets featured on Ellen and is able to help LOTS more people. If this is what Mika can do at 17, just imagine what she'll do to help others in the years to come.

This is how you can help:

1. Read and/or watch Mika's message/video.

2. If you can help her with any donations, get in touch with her on her myspace page @ myspace.com/helpingourminors

3. THIS IS THE ELLEN PART!! Go to http://ellen.warnerbros.com/show/respond/?PlugID=10 and write to Ellen about Mika! Fill out all the required info about yourself, and be sure to mention Mika's name, perhaps the organizations name, and the myspace url. There will be lots of other people doing this, so after a while Ellen's producers will start to see the connection. My hope is that we can get at least 100 people to do this...but I believe we can get LOTS more to.

VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!! Please only write to Ellen about this subject ONCE! It will be impressive to have 100 different people from all over the world writing about this. But if they get 10 repeated messages from the same person, they'll think we're being paid to do it or just spamming. Please be sincere. Thanks!!

Here's her vid:


Here's her message:

Hey Arlan,

I have a small request for you. Long story short, my name is Mika Rozenberg, and I'm 17 years old and a senior in high school in Colorado. One of my dreams since I was eight or nine was to open a center for disadvantaged and at-risk youth to learn (about) music and the arts. I started it last August and everything's been going great--I have more than enough teachers, the local Boys and Girls Club has offered to give me space, and I have students. The program is called HOMELESS; Helping Our Minors Enjoy Life and Engage in Self Success. (Another advantage of the Boys and Girls Club giving space is that for $5, one of the kids can get a free meal a day for a year. $100 feeds 20 kids... for a year.)

I decided that, in order to make things easier, I'd start off with guitar and lyric-writing lessons only (though I hope to expand past music to theater, painting, sculpture, stand-up; the works). I have journals and pens and even guitar picks, but I only have one guitar, so I've been doing some fund raising for that, and I also have some friends who are putting money aside for it (awesome friends, huh?). But one thing that could really help me is publicity... and I know your blog reaches an amazing amount of people, and a reader knows someone who knows someone who might donate in a huge way.

I don't know if you could tie any of this into your blog at all. But you're awesome (as we all know), I do read your blog religiously (really), and I am bisexual, so I thought I'd give it a shot.

Either way, thanks for your time.
Mika

P.S. - I believe you're on the friends list for HOMELESS' MySpace, but the url is http://myspace.com/helpingourminors. Thanks again.

"Naughty, Naughty Thangs..." in Los Angeles, Feb. 10th

Attention L.A.! My friend Dalila is doing a fundraiser for her short film. This is what Dalila has to say about the film:

The film is a tasteful, funny short about a mother and daughter who have been hiding their truth, and through a comedy of errors discover that they have much more in common than they think. (It deals with queer themes and it’s funny- no really it is:-) )

It’s 7 – 10 p.m. on Saturday, February 10, 2008 at CoCo De Mer, 8618 Melrose Ave, West Hollywood, CA 90069.

Love and light,
Dalila Ali Rajah

Beautiful Strange Her

Ok allow me to be corny for a *moment*. She loves Madonna. I like the lyrics to this song. I promise not to do this every day. ;-)



Haha...I'm so lame when I have a girlfriend. Yay!

Ok, ok, this is gayer:


The person who put that vid together used the original version from the album. I've been waiting to see that original mix used with one of the best videos Madonna has ever done. So brava, and shiz.

Happy Super Tuesday, Americans!

Top 10 Reasons Season 5, Episode 5 Was the Return of... the L Word

10. Why isn't it "Bettina?" Hmm... I like that we're not getting Bette and Tina all nicely wrapped in a pretty package after that kiss from last episode. Make us work for it, Ilene. You dominatrix, you. I know I'm *hard-on* you most of the time, but I have to give credit where credits due. You're doing a fantastic job with this storyline. Love your hair. Hope you win!

9. A low down dirty Shane. Kate Moennig has never looked as good and healthy as she does this season...and thats saying SO much cause bitch is hot all the time. I wanna know what sort of Gay Wheaties (or brownies?) this girl has been eating lately. Baby is looking GOOD. And just in time cause I was so over the heroin chic thing from past seasons.


8. I wanna see their golden boobies globes! I may be naive (prolly so) but why is it that none of the L Word actresses are ever nominated for a Golden Globe or Emmy? Weeds always gets nominated, and this year Tudors was nominated. Same network. Different city? Where was our Leisha Hailey nom for Season 3? Or our Jennifer Beals...or Mia freakin' Kirshner? Hmmm...please tell me if I missed when this happened. And most importantly, L Word peops, tell me how we can get them nominated for this season? Producers send in your vids for consideration, and we send thousands of gay bras to the Golden Globe committee? Consider it done;-)

7. HELENAAAAAAA! Come baaaack!! To MY lover Helena/Rachel Shelley, I haven't forgotten about you. I'm waiting patiently for you to come back. And until then, I dedicate this to you, wherever you are.

I want my baby back baby back baby back...

6. Angela Robinson = best L Word director ever. This episode was the first time in years that it felt like the L Word I fell in love with in the first season. I'm gonna even go as far as assuming that they used the same kind of cameras and lighting and other technical stuff that they used when they had a tiny budget back in the day. What I loved about the first season was that each episode had the look and feel of a well-executed independent movie. But after their budget was put on steroids, things startin' gettin weird. Thanks to Angela for bringing sexy back in a real way. Angela also wrote, produced and directed the entire GIRLTRASH.tv web series that we've all come to know and love, and I'm officially calling for Showtime to buy the HELL out of the series. How much fun would that be??

5. Alice on tv while on tv = Alice even hotter. Somehow Leisha Hailey looks even better when she's on a tv inside a tv. And we finally got our Alice back! The first 4 episodes this season, I had nothing to really comment on when it came to Alice's character. She was sort of sitting back and letting Tasha ride the pony and jump on the good foot. Which is cool cause we got to see naked boobies in a United-Colors-of-Benetton-ad sort of way, but I wanted my fiery Alice back. Mission accomplished, soldier.

4. My lover Alicia Leigh Wilis...butt ass naked.
When Ilene created the Shane character, it was obvious that she was mirroring it after me. I didn't get mad like Bette did this episode when was faced with the same problem. I just asked (through pigeon and telepathically) that Ilene not mention any of the real names of my conquests. She's been very good at keeping all of my past lovers' names discreet...until this week! Um, my lover Alicia Leigh Willis is not only my past lover, but she played HERSELF in this episode! Talk about...uh...egg on my face. I see my ex lover Alicia Leigh Willis all naked and shiny and boobular, and...and slippery and sultry and sexy...and seductive and pert and...slippery....and... mmmmmmmm.... what was I saying?

3. I touched Mia Kirshner's boobies, y'all! Last weekend when I met Kate French (who plays Niki Stevens) in Los Angeles, I had no idea that by shaking her hand, I would have been touching all sorts of Mia Kirshner too! Only Jenny would be this turned on by doing the chick who's playing her in a movie. Thank you...Jenny's boob. AGAIN.

2. My lover Alicia Leigh Willis and Kate Moennig...doin it...naked. It was so hot, it gets two spots. It's my blog. I can do that. Yeah....slippery and shiny and...

1. Gay pot brownies, lesbian drama, and the Jackson 5 = one of the best scenes in L Word history:

I watched this episode in Chicago. It was the first time I'd seen it outside of southern California in a LONG time. I finally *get* it. This is exactly what West Hollywood lesbians are like. When the show first started, I accused it of being too glamorous and unrealistic. I think I've accused it of that as recently as last week. But being able to step away from the city I've spent the past few months carousing in made it SO easy to see. It's so authentic (for better or worse) I honestly think I've eaten Gay Pizza next to some of those extras.

Mcphee Gets Married...and I Don't Freak Out??

To see my thoughts on Mcphee's wedding and to hear about some personal news of mine, click HERE!