Top 10 Reasons L Word Season 6, Episode 6 Was..."On Crack or Somethin'?"

10. Lactose Intolerable.


You might be wondering what the picture above is. Well, my friends, it's a picture of me and my producer--he simply goes by "Bunnay"--discussing last Sunday's episode of The El. He's trying to convince me that it was an amazing piece of work, the fruit of several dozen talented men and women (mostly women) who have worked incredibly hard to get us to a point where we can have a show like this on television that may not always speak FOR us, but certainly speaks TO us. Bunnay wants me to know we should be truly grateful.

I fired Bunnay moments after this picture was taken.

It's taken me 6 days just to wrap my head around what happened on last Sunday's show. I was honestly completely confused for 90% of it. The only time I wasn't confused was when Helena was on screen. Walking, or talking, or pouting, or drinking, or saying "Fuck off, Jenny." That 10% was as clear as the driven snow. It's not that I loathed this episode. There were some moments that I found amusing/cool/slightly sexy. But uh, for the most part...


9. Mood Poisoning.

I'm still wondering exactly how long Shane was throwing up before Jenny got to her. It felt like forever. I wonder why...oh that's right, cause they frickin SHOWED SHANE THROWING UP. I'm not a fan of like...vomit on screen, in person, or now I realize, in print. Especially seconds after getting the slightest bit aroused by a Shane/Nikki mayhaps sexy moment. And to top it off, they had her throw up on MY CLEMENTINE?? Are you crazy?? Wait, I know the answer to that.

Juno-kudos though to Kate Moennig for being surprisingly great at acting sick.

By the way, where was I when Shane became a photographer? I do remember her taking creepy pics of Molly while she was asleep, but I would have done the same thing. Didn't think it was anything more than a amazingly appropriate reaction to waking up to Clementine Ford hobby. But you know what? Shane should've been a photographer ALL along. It's a MUCH better idea and would work better with the whole growing up in foster care/homeless back story. Cause when exactly did dyky-ass horny & homeless Shane find time to take 600 hours of cosmetology training? I can see her picking up an old SLR and taking some pics to capture human emotion. Hmmm...perhaps in the prequel.

8. Directed by That "Cougar" Guy From "Top Gun"...I KNEW It!
As soon as shit started getting weird at that baby shower, and I Shaned a little in my mouth, I knew this was a Cougar situation. If you'll recall, he directed my least favorite episode of last season too. I'm sure he's a lovely man, probably a great father, son, brother, and friend. A gentleman, I'm sure. But damn it...DAMN IT COUGAR.

And while we're on the subject of fuckery, since when does Kit's body not "respond to its own kind?" Tell that to Papster and Ivan, yo. Also, how could Kit not know that dude was Sunset Blvd? I knew it the first time they showed him on screen. When he's in drag, he doesn't put on a voice at all, his arms are ginormous and what completely straight laced dude would be at this opening? I was half expecting Mangus to pop out of nowhere. He seems like he'd dig this kind of art like whoa.

What's with the contractor chick who doesn't know she's gay? I think it's cute and funny and all that...but didn't that feel more like something that should've/would've happened in Season 1 or 2? It just seemed so...random. I'm tired of complaining. Hmmm...I will say that the lighting and audio work on this episode was impeccable. *sigh*

7. When Kelly Wentworth gets tipsy, she gets SO EXCITED. She gets SO EXCITED.
...And I get SO...SCARED. Not of Elizabeth Berkeley's performance, cause she's doing a great job with what she's being given. But with the episode in general. I played this song over and over during different parts of the episode and rocked back and forth to get me through it.

(Thanks Boo for the head's up on where to find this vid!)


6. Clementine Ford is Still Hot, Even in Pictures...Well, Until Shane Throws UP ON HER FACE, Of Course.



5. I'm Thinking of Starting a Rival Night to Truckstop: Bus Stop.
I loooved when Jenny told Shane that her 12 minute-long or so desperate attempt to find her included a stop at Truckstop. I've mentioned the Friday night *place to be* in West Hollywood (I'm there when I can be!) several times on the blog. I wonder if she was on the list. I wonder if she stopped off at Gay Pizza before jumping back in her car. In case you've never been to the club or seen LOGO's "Gimme Sugar," this is what happens on a typical Friday night at Truckstop:


...I'm surprised that bitch ever left the place.


4. Taffy Lite


I am appreciative of the random Jaimie boobs in the shower because it meant not only did we get to see her luscious boobs, but we got to see them wet. Credit where credit's due. Boob... But...there are only 2 episodes left, and if they don't get these bitches into a like....18 minute threesome in one of those episodes, I'm callin' a foul on the play. Seriously y'all. This is some clit tease bullshit for sure. I wouldn't be so worked up if it were like, middle of Season 4 or some junk...but come on...what you talkin' bout willis??

I was also appreciative of the Alice/Tasha quickie on the couch. Cool beans. Whatevs. Didn't have me reaching over my bed with the only hand I had available to call my peeps about it, like every scene involving Rachel Shelley does but it was cool for what it was. I wanted to pick Tasha up and place her ever-so-gently in the shower. Then ruuuun back into the living room and pick up Alice and place her riiiight on the other side of Jaimie's wet body. THAT my friends, is direction. Now...action!

3. Jane Lynch Saves Everything, All The Time.
I was just about to unscrew my doorknob to throw it at the screen, when Jane Lynch magically appeared. I slowly backed away from my door, sat back down, and giggled for a few hundred seconds. She just makes EVERYTHING better.

2. Sing it With Me: Oompa, Lompa, Do Pa De Do, I've Got Another Puzzle For You. Oompa, Loompa, Do Pa De Da, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT??

Not sure if that's exactly how the song is supposed to go, but I found my creative muse at around 6 minutes into the episode when I was literally stunned silent, with my mouth agape. I don't remember much from the accident, I just know that Max was humiliated in more ways than I could count, Jenny was crazier than EVER, and that Bette & Tina's stroller gift was lovely, except that putting hot coffee within 2 and half inches of a newborns leg doesn't seem like the BEST idea they've ever had. When they finally have a child, they'll know. ...oh wait.
*coughwheresbabygirlcough*


1. Helena's Taken to the Sauce, and Dylan's Taken to Being a Bloody Fool.

For the first 2 minutes of the show, Dylan is the smartest woman ALIVE. She didn't wanna be there (neither did I), she couldn't stop thinking about what and who went down the night before (neither could I), and all she wanted to do was hit that again (goes without saying, really). And then fastforward 45 awkward seconds and the unthinkable happens: Dylan leaves Helena...AGAIN. Are you serious?? I could understand her being bummed and embarrassed...but this bitch lied to Helena, then FRAMED her to embezzle millions (right? it better have been...hmph), and then left her beautiful ass high and dry. Ahem...wait...just got an unrelated image......

*pause*

...aaaand I'm back! Dylan, do me a favor baby and come here. Naw, come closer to the screen. Close your eyes and listen carefully:

What...in the bloody hell...were ya thinkin'? You crazy?? That's Helena, yo. HELL-ENA. Sometimes her bra is on when you do her. Sometimes it's off. But either way you slice it, that's HELENA you got there. *deep breath*

I know what happened to her. She snapped. I think these poets say it best in this video:



BONUS!!

This one goes out to my readers!

I didn't realize how many people dug my Top 10 lists until I was uber late posting this one, and I felt the wrath of the impatient lesbian masses:-) Since I only get anywhere from 15-40 comments on these lists each week, I figured it wouldn't be missed if I was sneaky and skipped a week. But oh no...how wrong I was! And that's FRICKIN AWESOME:-) Thanks so much for reading and for caring. This one's...for you. I hope you treasure it, embrace it, and live by it every single day:

Pink Makes Out With Herself...An Encore Performance in Case You Missed It...

I think at about 2 minutes into this video, a few dozen angels got their wings and a few thousand lesbians lost their damn minds. I know I did:



This next vid was recorded this past Tuesday in France at her new "Funhouse" concert. Just when you thought she couldn't be hotter or more talented:



Europeans and Australians are SOOO lucky right now!!

UPDATED!! Win All-Access Dinah Shore Tickets!

Turn in your video or photograph entries by TODAY, WEDNESDAY March 4th at 11:00pm CENTRAL USA time (9pm Pacific, midnight Eastern) Be sure to read all of the rules below before entering!!

Originally posted last week:

*Dinah Shore Weekend takes place in Palm Springs, California April 1st-April 5th!

Club Skirts Dinah - featuring appearances by:


Lady GAGA


Indigo Girls


Katy Perry


Margaret Cho


Uh Huh Her


God-Des & She


Gina Yashere

...and sooo much more!

CLICK HERE to get lots more information and to purchase your tickets!!

...or win tickets on my site! PLEASE. READ. CAREFULLY. BEFORE. ENTERING. MY VAG. THE CONTEST.

I am SO excited to be able to officially announce that Dinah - Club Skirts has given me two (2) All-Access Passes to give away on my site! Two winners will be chosen and will have their tickets waiting for them at Club Skirts' Will Call at Dinah. Please keep in mind that this prize does NOT include transportation or accommodations. But it DOES include thousands of topless, wet, mostly drunk chicks who really want to get to know you. Don't forget to bring your beads *wink wink*

To enter, upload a video to youtube (or your favorite video site) telling me and my readers why you should be chosen. It can be as simple as a straight forward vid with you sitting in a chair whispering "Cause it's the only time I'll EVER get to see real life lesbians in person," to an all-out party where you get 20 of your friends to cover you in whipped cream and vouch for you on camera. You can sing, dance, juggle, rap, yodel, stand there looking pretty, do a lesbian montage somethin' or other, or whatever you decide.

UPDATE: In the interest of fairness, if you don't have access to a video camera, an alternative is to send a link to a special PHOTOGRAPH that you take for the contest. (Be creative! - *coughsignageorsomethingcough*)

Don't do anything illegal. Don't do anything (too) stupid. And unfortunately you can't show me your nipples or your vag. Believe me, that part is NOT my rule. Hmph.

YOU MUST BE 21 or OLDER as of April 1st, 2009 to enter & win!

Videos should be no shorter than 60 seconds and no longer than 5 minutes.

Turn in your video or photograph (by leaving your first name, email, myspace or facebook info, and LINK to the video/photograph as a comment on THIS POST!!) by Wednesday, March 4th and I'll choose the top 5 to be voted on by all of YDLM's readers. We'll vote March 5th & 6th and the winners will be announced on Saturday, March 7th. The top 2 winners will win ONE pass each!


(This vid is from the 2007 Club Skirts Dinah event, and gives you a great idea of what to expect!)

ALL ACCESS PASS INCLUDES:
-Thursday's Opening Night party with Fannius III
-Friday's Night's White Diamond's Party with Katy Perry
-Saturday's Cabana Girl Pool Party with Uh Huh Her and Dinah Idol
-Saturday Night's The Hollywood Party with Lady Gaga and The Celebrity Fashion Show with stars such as The L Word's Elizabeth Keener, Work Out's Briana Stockton, Queer as Folk's Michelle Clunie, Exes & Oh's Michelle Paradise, Sirius Radio's Romaine Patterson, Here TV's Jill Bennett & Cathy DeBuono, and surprise guests that will knock your socks off
-Sunday's Wet And Wild Pool Party with Robin S and God-Des and She
-Sunday Night's Closing Party where you never know who shows up!

*thank you again to Mariah Hanson and Club Skirts for the ticket prizes!

Want To Laugh For 3 Mins Gay Straight?

If so, then watch this:



If you dug that, we should support *out* comedian Tig Notaro and vote for her on this contest @ comedysmack.com/poll/2009/2/24 because 1. she's funny as hell and has made me CRY laughing on several occasions. That is a true gift. and 2. cause she gay, y'all. Yeah, I said it.

Anyone who can make Sarah Silverman laugh is aces in my book.

My top 10 list coming later today + a pole dancer

Yeah, this week's episode was a lot to handle, so I needed a couple of extra days to work out the list. But I should have it up by late this afternoon or early tonight. See you then! :-)

In the meantime, here's a new vid from a hot chick doing amazing pole dancing to one of my favorite songs:



You are welcome.

This is professional dancer Alena Downs (who I've featured on the blog--and in my dreams--several times in the past) and you can see looots more on Alena's youtube page here. The song is "Whether You Fall" by Tracy Bonham.

Everything You've Ever Wanted to Know About Ellen's New Cover Girl Gig:

No, seriously, everything:

There's Going to be a LOT of Glitter Flying Around Post Offices Around the Country...

:-)



Dooooo iiiiit!

www.PostcardsToThePresident.com

Reality TV Skanks Setting Unrealistic Standards for Real-life Skanks?

Thanks to Bathilda from LOGO's "Gimme Sugar" for posting this vid in a myspace bulletin. It is truly amazing:



Haha...wow. Gotta watch "The Onion" more (or at all)...

UnbeWEAVEable!

This is why I love life:



( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67IiAbGBpm0 )

Dyky Morphin' Power Ranger!

Yeah...so apparently this chick Sally Martin used to be the blue Power Ranger for a while...then she grew up and went on to star in another Disney-type show in New Zealand and Australia called "Welcome to Paradise." But I guess Disney-type shows do things differently Down Unda:

(Sally's the blonde...)


Damn, can you imagine if they let Kelly Packard, Diana Uribe and Jennie Kwan do that on "California Dreams??" If they had, I would have been 10% gayer, 20% sooner.

Wow...

From a reader named "Krystal"...

Dearest Arlan,

For the past while you have been a true friend to me,
giving me wonderful gifts sent from the lesbian goddess'
for my informative and entertainment needs.
I must tell you that the only thing online
(other than my comments and such)
that I really check is your blog and
the things you write and dig up.
I was sworn into the United States Army
just the other day and am now getting ready
to leave short notice on March 3rd to start my journey
as an active duty military police officer.
It just hit me as I am getting ready
to log off that I only have a limited amount
of your blog posts left that I can read until I have to leave.
This is terrible and it saddens me greatly
to know that it is only a matter of time.
Sure I can live without MySpace and Facebook
but but but lead a life that doesn't include your blog?!
HOW ABSURD!!!

...imissyoualready. :(

P.S. I really think someone should get a crack-a-lackin on the whole gays in the military thing so that I can at least have someone send your blog print-outs to me via snail mail and help me sleep better at night.

I don't know what to say...makes me feel really happy, humbled and proud? Yep. Thanks Krystal. And we'll see what we can do about those printouts! Anyone wanna volunteer?

I Have to Say it...

I normally wouldn't post anything from TMZ on my blog (unless it was something really, really funny or ridiculous) but I just saw this picture and I had to. This is a picture of Rihanna taken by police the night Chris Brown attacked her.

I just want to say that if you are in an abusive relationship right now, and you've either been too scared to do anything, or in denial, or maybe not even sure that what the person is doing to you IS abuse, please seek help. Nobody has the right to do this to you. There's nothing you could have done to justify it. No matter what they say, they're NOT sorry, and they WILL do it again. I hope beyond all hope that no one reading this IS going through this right now. But if you are... there's still a chance to get out of it. I don't want to get really morbid, but it occurred to me that this picture of Rihanna could have just as easily been a picture taken at the morgue, if he had gone *that* much further. Or if the person hadn't heard her screaming and called the police. Or if this had never been discovered, and 2 years from now he decided to push her out of a hotel window instead of "just" beating her in a car like he was in a fucking prize fight. Don't let this be you for one more day:


...and yes, a lesbian can be abusive against her lesbian girlfriend/wife (some people really don't know that, so I'm telling you). And words can be just as abusive as fists sometimes.

I've Decided That I'm Going to Have A Woman Doing This at All Times in My Living Room:

A reader named Lindsey wrote in and said:

I don't know if you prefer lesbians to have your video shared on this channel,I am bisexual and love equally. I think most people just call what I am pansexual. I love blindly and without limit. =)

Anywho... I love your updates =) Keep up the cool myspace. <3>

and

This is just me, SICK (srsly hehe), playing with my hoop in my room. I'm a NEWB, so expect much more out of me once I get more practice in. :)

I don't have enough room in here to do a lot of the things I like the most, like extending the hoop far away from my body. I actually took the bulb/bulb holder off of my ceiling fan to avoid hitting it just a little more. hahaha

The music is :

Steve Dragon : Nag Champa

So if you wanna get your hula hoop on with Lindsey, holler at her at www.myspace.com/xxcatbitchxx!

Candy Reign

Ellen Page is hot. She's hotness in a teeny tiny package, but she's hot nonetheless. She's like 5 feet of fury, that one is. I don't think there's a single person reading this who hasn't see Juno yet. If you haven't, I'm taking your *lesbian-card* for the day. Don't worry, I'm just gonna hold on to it til you get your act together. Come back when you're able to give me at least 5 quotes from the movie. Go on!

Now for everyone else who's already on the right Ellen Page...page, I wanted to make sure you knew about a movie that didn't get much buzz since it came out pre-belly. It's also an extremely difficult movie to stomach, even though you won't be able to take your eyes off of the screen:

"Hard Candy"


Another movie with a deceptively sweet title that I think you MUST see immediately is "Candy." It stars Heath Ledger in one of his best performances (if not THE best), and Abbie Cornish, who I don't know much about outside of the film, but godDAMN if she doesn't give the performance of a lifetime in this one! Seriously... it's just a stunning piece of art:

"Candy"


So there you have it. Two amazing pieces of film that share a common name with four or five performances that will leave you breathless (haha, I sound like an announcer guy--but I'm serious!). Neither of these movies are ones that you'll wanna gather your little brother's 2nd grade class around ye olde big screen to watch with you. And you should probably leave the grandparents at the dinner table while you're checking these suckers out. But if you're open-minded and don't HAVE to have a train station explode on your screen every 3 minutes or some chick teaching you how shopping brings out your inner beauty to be entertained, I think you'll love these flicks.

If you've seen either or both of these movies, what did you think? Amazing, right??

**Warning: there may be some spoilers in the comments section**

Lesbian Vampire Killers!

Proves once a-gay-ne that the Brits know how to do it:



Haha, that's silly. But I totally wanna see it.

Top 10 Reasons L Word Season 6, Episode 5..."Checked Itself Befo' it Wrecked Itself"

10. Shane Tanks You.
At first I thought the budget for Shane's wardrobe had been cut since it seemed like all we've seen her in this season is tanks. White tanks. Black tanks. Tanks half on. Tanks half off. And while we all know good things happen when Shane wears tanks:

, it was good to see her get her fashion icon groove back later in the episode. She was looking especially cris-pay. Made me wanna holler at her for the first time in a long time. Shane baby, get my number from Helena.


9. Bette Actually Said the Words "You betta check yo'self befo' you wreck yo'self!"
I think I high-fived the TV when this surprising line came out of Ms. Porter's mouth. Kit must have been SO proud. I was so ready for Kit to stop the scene and start singing this to Bette:


8. Angelina Robinson Should've Just Directed Everything After Season 3.

Seriously. She wrote and directed this episode and the best episodes from the past few seasons. Now mind you, every episode would look like D.E.B.S., but who cares?? It would be fun as hell. This episode was funny, enjoyable and entertaining. Somebody needs to give this woman her own show already and PRONTO. "GIRLTRASH" would work, people. I'm just sayin.

7. Helena Should Talk More.

She just should. This is why:

Take special note of how she says the words "naked," and "hardcore" and "placard."

*swoon*

6. "...And That...is the Night...the Lights...Went Out...In WeHo!" Anytime Bette puts her dinner napkin to the side or gets *that* look on her face (you know the one), where she's juuust about to go OFF on someone, I'm always taken back to this Julia Sugarbaker scene from "Designing Women:"


5. Jenny, I Think You've Lost Your Mind...
Mia put the crazy poncho on and was off to the races in this episode. You know when Kirshner saw the script for this season, she had to be like, "Eff it. It's my last season, it'll pay for my rent for the next 5 years," and she just ran with that shit. Good for her for doing her job...and doing it well.

Now my good friend Terra Naomi certainly didn't have this Jenny in mind when she wrote this song a couple of years ago, but it's amazingly fitting:


4. That's Exactly How it is When I Walk Into Gay Pizza.

People wanna do shots of marinara sauce with me, take pics of my disgust at what's going on in the alley behind the bathroom me, and generally just kick it with me, pizza style. So I feel Nikki's pain. Sometimes you just wanna eat your gay pizza in peace. I still don't know how Nikki knew there were cameras to wave at in front of HIT, but that's just a tiny flaw in an otherwise cool episode, so I'm gonna chillax about it. Her Oscar rundown was pretty cool, and sounded like a conversation I've had about 50 times with my friends. And she was 90% spot-on except for something serious that was pointed out by a guy on youtube today. He's upset about the fact that the L Word referred to Brandon Teena as a lesbian in last night's episode. It's really quite interesting, so click here if you want to watch the vid. If after watching it you feel compelled to act, the same person is heading up a video response campaign that he's going to send to the writers. Click here to see the quick clip that explains that.

3. Where's Molly? And Still No Jessie Spano Boob Action??
Ok Ilene. Clementine Ford (the chick who plays Molly) came out last week. It is your duty now to show me her half nude body any chance you...wait, I'm getting a message from my producer:
Clementine Ford is on the phone? She wants me to know what? Oh...Pill Lady, I TOLD you, I'm working here, OK. Tell Clementine that I will call her back and that I already told her I would be her date to Dinah. Geez. And tell her to wear that thing I like. She knows what I'm talkin bout. Yeah...just like that...yeah... AHEM ok! And Elizabeth Berkeley still hasn't upset me even 1/10th as much as I thought she would when it was first announced she'd be on the show. But you also still haven't shown me her boobs. What's the deal? Are we seriously going to go an entire season with the woman who was in the movie "Stripper" or "Stripblade" or...whatever the hell it was called...and NOT see her boobs? That's an injustice.

2. They Found *Alice* Again!

...now only if they could keep track of Baby Girl. Hmm....anyhoo! I LOVED Alice in this episode. Finally, the Alice that we know and love. She's funny. She's clever. She's fiesty. She's sexy. And most of all, she's comfortable. Leisha acted her ASS off in this one. I don't know, something just seemed a bit off the first few episodes of this season. Aside from the letter reading on "The Look," I didn't see my old Alice anywhere. But perhaps again we have Angela R. to thank for making everyone feel so comfortable and get back to who they really are.

1. Alexandra Hedison is the Luckiest Dyke on the Face of the Planet:
Alright kids, here's the deal. Wait, I need a moment.

*deep breath*

Ok you know how me and Rachel Shelley(s) got married and everything. And you know how she is one of the hottest women on this earth, and how I take every opportunity possible to remind you of that? And you know how I like when she's on screen, whether it be sitting there, standing there, jogging there, laughing there, or yelling there? Well last night...last night I...I mean did you see...and then her leg...and then the stockings...and her moaning and she had wrapped her leg around...and then she had...*deep breath*
(I'm sure this video will be taken down at some point, so watch it while you can.)


Ok I'll admit it: I pressed my head against the screen every time it showed the back of Dylan's when they were kissing. Don't you judge me.

It's officially ok that there was no sex in last week's episode. I understand now that the entire crew had to prepare themselves for this scene. They needed their rest to focus.

I just want to take this time to personally thank Ms. Robinson for having the vision and the intelligence to put a half naked, very agile Helena on my screen last night. You are a scholar and a gentleman, my friend. I will erect monuments in your honor at some point, and after I stop giggling every time I say the word "erect" to the people helping me build these monuments, I will christen the monument with a bottle that is filled with liquid gold, milk thistle, and one of my tears.

BONUS!
At last year's Dinah, Rachel Shelley(s) made a surprise appearance (coming directly from my hotel room, of course) at Ourchart's "Be Scene" event. Here's how it went down, in case you missed it:


"Literally the greatest job I've ever had, people!" - Alexandra Hedison

...that bitch ain't lyin.

My Valentine's Date

Everyone knows that I have been happily married to Katharine Mcphee and Rachel Shelley(s) for years now. But while the two of them are off working this weekend, I have a new love interest and I wanted to introduce you to her:


Yes, you heard it here first, ladies. Kat Dennings is my new love interest. Her acting is amazing, and I think in the next couple of years she's going to have a breakout role a la Hilary Swank or Jolie that's just going to blow us all away. And her personality is pretty brilliant too. She's a bit younger than I usually like to date, but what she lacks in years, she certainly makes up for in lips, eyes, voice charm. If you have a Blockbuster card and nothing to do this weekend, might I suggest the following movie marathon:

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist
The House Bunny
40-Year Old Virgin
Secretary -- Kat's not in it, but it's effin' hot.

I still haven't seen Kat's movie Charlie Bartlett but I hope to change that sad fact VERY soon. It's made even sadder because a friend of mine (Mr. Tyler Hilton) is actually IN the movie and therefore I should have seen it ages ago. I suck. But soon, I will not suck. Hey Tyler, if you wanna send me the DVD so I can pop it into my laptop, that'd be fantastique.

You know what's AWESOME though? There's this indie-type movie coming out called "Arlen Fabor" that stars my longtime love interest Lauren Graham (damn! just realized I forgot to put her in the 'open note to my type' post.), my new love interest Kat Dennings, and my future love interest Olivia Thirlby (remember Juno's hot best friend in...well, Juno?). So what if they misspelled my name? You know what this means, dont you? It means that 3 of my favorite actresses will most likely say my name in the film. Which saves me the trouble of having to record them saying it during all of our lovemaking, paste them all together and use as my main ringtone. Instead, now I can just do it all from the comfort of my laptop. Cool beans!



I also found out that Kat has a great blog (@www.KatDennings.com. She's been blogging since 2002 (when she was 15 or so?) and vlogging since mid-2006. How I didn't know that until now is a huge mystery to me. But I'm going to make up for my ignorance this weekend by reading every blog entry I can and watching every video on her youtube channel possible.

A highlight from her blog is actually her most recent post:

Today I am going to get very serious about something.

I know, "WTF, ROFL", you say. But nevertheless, I need to speak firmly.

As you are undoubtedly aware from reading this endless omnibus of redonkulousness, I am kind of a weirdo. I write like someone who's been trapped in a well for 9 years with a radioactive bathtub and/or Doctor Who. And if you've seen me speak candidly in some type of nonfiction interview, you might gather that I also talk that way.

Why? Who knows why. There are times when I seem normal, like when I'm ordering sushi or calling the fire department, or asking where the meringues are, but I guess it all boils down to this:

People think I'm on drugs....all the time.

Not anyone who knows me, knows anything about me, or has maybe read any written interview I've ever done, but even so, it hurts. It stings. It cuts. It burns. Right in the balls.

I have never been high. I daresay I am against drugs, and I barely even drink twice a year at weddings.

So I'm leaving it at that. Anyone else who would like to comment on my YouTube videos saying "wtf, this ch1ck is so high lol" or something else like that, can come and read this post and then SHUT THE HELL UP.

xoxoxooxxoxoox
Kat

How can you NOT fall in love/lust with someone who writes and thinks like that??

*sigh*

Ok kids, now go softly stalk her blog and youtube profile. You'll be happy you did.

And here's some more lovely for those of you who are chillin' on this Valentine's weekend:

...And Speaking of Gay Weddings...

Share it.

5 Words: "All My Children" Lesbian Wedding!

AMC's historic wedding starts TODAY, Friday the 13th...on ABC...but uh, like all Soaps (and ANYTHING lesbian) expect some drama to ensue!



Haha, gotta love that piano in the background. *DRAMA*

Some of you know that I'm a HUGE "General Hospital" fan. I know Soaps are campy and silly and have a stigma attached to them, but I've been watching the show for 20 years (longer than half of my readers have been ALIVE...yikes!) and there's a lot of comfort in knowing that no matter where I am in my life, I can always be part of theirs. Altogether now: *aaawww* Yeah. And also, the chicks on the show are effin hot:-) I've been waiting for Elizabeth and Emily to get married for years. After Emily died, I thought my chances for that were over. But nooo, of course there's a "new" character more than a year after her death that looks JUST like her (cause uh, she's played by the same actress)...and she wears the hell out of a beret. In my book, that makes her an instant lesbian. *Just add baret* And while I wait for the first lesbian wedding on my beloved GH, I'm so happy and proud to have "All My Children" work out their own history storyline in a BIG way.



Doesn't hurt that one of the actresses (Tamara Braun) used to play Carly on GH. *sigh* Yes, I know too much about General Hospital. No, I'm not ashamed. You haven't lived until you've taken sides in the Corinthos/Morgan fued. I tell you what. And every damn WEEK those mf'ers have an emergency that threatens the entire city of Port Charles, but their make up never misses a beat. I've seen women in hospital beds on that show actually wearing diamond earrings--the kind that dangle--while they're in surgery. Fabulous!

I'd also like to add that if it weren't for GH, we might not have THIS scene:


...as Alicia Willis played "Courtney" on GH for a few years before this. Therefore, GH is essentially responsible for THOSE boobs against OUR screens. THANK YOU!

No Pain, No Gay...n

I really, really like the movie "Secretary" for all SORTS of reasons we can get into later if you want.



If you haven't seen it yet, time to make it a Blockbuster night.

San Antonio...

Hey if you're in San Antonio, I will see you here tonight.



The Kremlin website:
www.kremlinsa.com

Dani's myspace:
www.myspace.com/12nerd

*Special thanks to Laura for hosting the event and for inviting me*

Top 10 Reasons L Word Season 6, Episode 4 Was..."a Nutloaf."

10. You See, It Was Like Meatloaf, But (Even More) Nuts.


Last night's episode of the L Word was a bit like this performance my wife had to do with Meatloaf a few years ago:


...and my Top 10 list will be much like my wife explaining the incident (minus a few "likes"):


9. "What is going on here tonight??"
I couldn't have said it better, myself, Kit. And even though she said this line while it was obviously daylight outside the Planet, I have to agree with her. There was some highfalutin mischief up in this episode, for sure. You know the episode is going to be off when they have Jenny calling anyone Dylan "insane" a few minutes into it. I swear when Tina said, "She set me up!" I thought to myself, "Ilene set us ALL up."

I'm going to go ahead and praise The El for actually keeping one character true to form this year, though. Let's see. We've had Ivan, Black Shrek, Mangus, Papi, and now Sunset Blvd. Kit has never, ever had a traditional romance on the show. So good for them for not hooking her up with some straight-laced, straight dude during the last season. Sunset Blvd is the least feminine-acting "drag queen" I've ever seen, but it wouldn't be Kit if she found herself a normal ol' queen, now would it?


8. The Vagina Dialogue.
As you know, I enjoy vagina. I think the spelling of it is fantastic. The pronunciation is to die for. And don't get me started on the rest. But last night I found myself saying something with regards to vagina, that I've never said before, and that I never thought I would HAVE to say: "Ewwww!" Yeah. When you gave *my Max* a beard, did I say anything? (yes.) When you got *my Max* pregnant, did I complain? (Yep.) And when you got *my Max* pregnant WITH A BEARD, did I once make a big deal out of it?? (I sure did.) But this whole stretching and massaging and fingering the vagina in Lamaze class was my limit. Watching 20 dudes learn how to oil up some preggar vag is ONLY fun when it's in porn, you guys! Oh and by the way, yes, I did just say "fingering the vagina" and "ewwww!" in the same post. And for that, Ilene, we are no longer (neverhavebeen) friends. This is me blowing you an air kiss and saying goodbye, Bette style.
Oh and also, give me *my Max* back!


7. Tight, Shiny, Rich Jessie Spano.
She's real, real tight. And real, real shiny. And apparently rich? Is that supposed to be the story? I sometimes forget what her deal is on the show cause I'm watching Bette's reflection off of her tight, shiny face and body. Don't get me wrong: I like tight, shiny, rich Jessie Spano. I just wish she'd get down to sexing someone on the show and stop with all this art talk. Jessie Spano, when in doubt, do who what your former classmate Kelly Kapowski would do:


6. Dylan's Hair.
I know a lot of you are crackin' on Dylan's hair this season. "It looks like she's the Flying Nun" I totally some of you have said. "Whoa, Dyl, looks like someone accidentally put their finger(s) in a light socket and not Helena's puss" I totally said out loud several times some might have thought to themselves. But let me explain something to you: This is EXACTLY how your hair is SUPPOSED to look when you've had sex with Helena. In my opinion, Dylan's the only sane person on that show. Tina's had sex with Helena, but is her hair doing anything but being perfectly normal and pretty? NOPE. Everyone else has seen Helena and been in the same room with her, but their hair is fine. Let me show you how your hair is supposed to look after you've made sweet love to Helena:

Ok??

5. Is There a Disco in Jenny's Closet? (Or is She Just Happy to See Us)


There must be, cause every time she opens that thing, music starts playing. The same can also be said about Shane's legs, but that's a different story. Also, Tasha's hair was on point this episode. The soundtrack, however, was not.

4. My Phone Number is 832-531-5....
One question. Why in the FUCK was I not on the other end of that phone call? Is it cause I have T-Mobile and my reception can sometimes be dodgy? It is cause Rachel Shelley doesn't like to give people on set my phone number, in fear that they might try to get at me behind her back? I can't say. But what I can say is that this Jaime chick is a ridiculously lucky bitch...and I wish her all the luck in the world on this blind date. That's destined to be one hot...wait... I'm getting a message from my producer:
What? Jaime doesn't fall to her knees and thank the sweet Lord above once she realizes what Helena looks like AND that she's british?? Say it isn't so, Rainbow Brite. Say...it...isn't...so.

3. Baby Girl Aged 2 Years in 3 Weeks.
Well at least that means they're feeding her. So I won't be calling Child Protective Services this week. I do wonder though, since they barely know where Baby Girl is half the time, why are they trying to adopt? And while we're on the subject, what exactly did Bette and Tina talk to this Marcy/Marcie chick about on the phone before meeting her? It was supposed to be this wonderful, long conversation that made them rush to Laughlin, NV--and more importantly, created a good enough reason for Bette to sleep on Motel 6 sheets--but they seemed uber surprised about basically every detail of this chick's life once they were there. All I know is, I'd watch a spin-off of that hick family and Marcy/Marcie any day. Maybe I can get a gig on it being her next door neighbor who teaches her the ways of the gay?

2. "It was...delicious."
And so were you, my dear Helena. So were you.
*sigh*
Did y'all hear my baby say "gangsta" in the episode? How adorably posh of you, Rachel Shelley. Ha I just realized that from now on, I want to refer to Rachel Shelley as "Rachel Shelleys"...in honor of this "dude." I feel like it's exactly what he would call her if he ever met her in a movie theater:


Yeah, and also Jaime should've reacted a LOT differently than she did when she was first introduced to Helena. First of all, as we learned earlier, her hair should have instantly turned upward. I know I mention Rachel Shelleys a lot in my posts, so of course you know I dig her. We are married, after all. But let's get serious here for a moment, shall we? If you were a single chick and one of your new friends suggested you meet up with a good friend of theirs on a date...and then HELENA fucking PEABODY (c)literally strolled (on fucking AIR) into the living room, would you or would you not think to yourself, "FUCK."?? I mean seriously folks. Chemistry or not, we didn't even get a slight reaction to what is obviously one of the most stunning women in history. HISTORY. Eh, whatdyagonnado.

1. Where...Was...the...SEX??

If you're going to make us sit through an episode like this, at least throw in a couple of sets of (good) boobs, some moaning, and some fake strap-on play, folks. Have Shane working on a couple of girls at once, have Alice tie up Tasha and show her what she learned that one time she totally did it with a Vampire. Show the honeymoon footage of me and Rachel Shelleys that I sent in. Jeez. Do the Japanese and I have to do EVERYTHING ourselves??
click here for evidence.

Next week's episode looks decent. And of course, Angela Robinson is directing it, which explains why.

Bonus:
Um, SO this:

Cause I Want To...

My favorite Fiona Apple song:


She released this song when she was 18.

...and the lyrics are still true.

An Open Letter to Rihanna

First of all, join us.



Please take your own advice:


...and hers:

Her Dance Card Should be Full on Valentine's;-)

I received this comment today:

so im a lesbian, i like boobs all that jazz lol. but im still looking for that special someone. i dont have a valentine yet but i made this video and i would love for you to show it to the hunnies.
maybe someone will be interested in me if i can get my name out there ;)
also my birthday is in 10 days, so it would be an amazing birthday present too!
i appreciate anyone watching my video and comments are definitely welcome!
♥ashley

Sure, Ashley. You know how much I love helping chicks get some lovin:-) All the ladies out there, sit back, relax, and enjoy this clever vij-jio by Ashley:-)

this is my version of I'm Yours by Jason Mraz! it took me a really long time to record and make the video...
yours truly,
Ashley Nicole Ihrig

contact me:
www.myspace.com/ashleyguitar
or
gtarsinger@hotmail.com

thanks for watching! ;)

_________________________________

If you make a video looking for lovin and I dig it, I'll post it. Be honest. Be creative.
Be *you* and send it my way:-)

An Open Letter to What I Have Come to Realize is My *Type*

I wish I could quit you...


Colby Smulders - "How I Met Your Mother"



Liv Tyler - "The Lord of the Rings" + "Empire Records"



Michelle Ryan - "Bionic Woman"



Kat Dennings - "Nick and Norah" + "House Bunny" + "40 Year-Old Virgin"



Lena Headey - "Imagine Me & You" + "The Sarah Connor Chronicles"



Missy Peregrym - "Heroes" + "Stick It!"



Jessica Pare' - "Lost & Delirious"



Katharine Mcphee - my bedroom



Rachel Shelley - against my bosom


...and just when I think I have it all figured out, this chick walks into my world:

Jurnee Smollett - "The Great Debaters" + 80s TV!












What's your type?

An Open Letter to Clementine Ford...

Now that you've come out, you can marry me without it having any negative effect on your career.

...I'm just sayin'.

Oh and also, I'm going to go ahead and apologize in advance for motorboating you the next time I see you in public. Cause um...

...damn, girl.

An Open Letter to Drag Queens at Gay Bars Across the Country...

(the fabulous Candis Cayne...this does not apply to her)

You have GOT to stop finding me in the crowd and picking on me because I'm either a) the only black person there so you get to use what you think is a very good impression of a black person, b) the only person there not drunk enough to be laughing my ass off at your mediocre "jokes," therefore not smiling from ear to ear, or c) the...only...BLACK PERSON who's there who also happens to NOT BE SMILING or LAUGHING at you.

*sigh*

I am really trying to figure out this phenomena. The fact that it's happened to me more than once is fascinating to me. It usually starts out with a friend or new acquaintance wanting to take me to their "favorite" bar in town. So we go, have a drink, have a few chuckles, life is good. Then I get excited because there's a drag queen scheduled to appear (my first mistake). I laugh (mostly internally cause I can be an extremely laid back chick most of the time) at their silly jokes and marvel at the costumes and majesty of it all...

until...

*it*...happens.

Please explain to me why every single time I go see a drag queen at a gay bar/club--ie, TONIGHT, they pick on me in front of EVERYONE..and then whisper into my ear "go along with it honey and I'll buy you a cocktail afterwards."

I'm not your private dancer, Roberta, Calvina, Suede Fantastique....or whoever the eff you are today.

The only one who's never done this to me (*knock on wood*) is the magnificent (transsexual) Candis Cayne from the TV show "Dirty, Sexy, Money" who appears at the Abbey in West Hollywood each Monday. May she never...

< / silly post >

...And With That, the Sound of Thousands of Lesbian Hearts Shattering Could be Heard from Weho to Down Under.

Kelly Clarkson says she ain't gay, y'all.


Uh huh.

Sorry to break it to you kids, but as of today, one of two things are true: Either Kelly Clarkson REALLY ISN'T a lesbian, or she's going all *in-the-closet* Queen Latifah style on our asses and doesn't want to be even considered one, which is even "worse" news.

Today Kelly responded to the gay rumors on AOL. Here's some of what she had to say:

A large part of your fan base is gay, and there's a longstanding rumor that you are a lesbian. Is there any truth to that?

I get that all the time. People are like, “Are you secretly a lesbian? Because I’d really love it.” Lesbians tell it to me all the time. I’m like, “I’m glad it works for you and I wish I liked women like that because oftentimes men are very hard for me, but I happen to like boys.” I could never be a lesbian. I would never want to date [someone like] myself, ever. I’m a crazy person. I need some kind of stable, quiet man. I don’t really care if you’re black, white, yellow, gay, straight, crazy, whatever. As long as you’re cool and you like the music, and you’re coming out to have a good time at the shows, I don’t really care. I have everything I just said in my family, so I’m just used to being surrounded by that. I just don’t know any different.

Celebrity gossip blogger Perez Hilton seems especially concerned about your weight and sexuality. How do you handle such scrutiny?

Honestly, I don’t know what the hell I did to [Perez]. He’s very concerned about my sexuality and my weight, which I’m not. I learned at a very young age from my father: “Honey, you’re never gonna be able to control what people think about you or say about you; you might as well just stop worrying about it.” I learned on ‘Idol’ not to read any of it -- never. You’re either going to become one these people that you know have just totally lost perspective because everybody’s tooted their horn so much, or you’re gonna crawl in some hole and want to kill yourself because people are just so mean. I enjoy our conversation right now, but I won’t read what we do.

So there you have it, dykes folks. Well she's right about the crazy lesbians thing. But if that's the only reason she can give for not being able to be a lesbian, she's in for a surprise once I take her to her first Dinah. Cause nothin' erases concerns about trivial things like *stability* like watching 200 firm & tanned women instinctually form a nude conga line in the middle of the desert.

What do you think about Ms. Clarkson's answer?

Hilary Duff is a n00b + UPDATE!!

ROUND 2 (updated a few hours after ROUND 1) goes to reader Mar. She showed me this video:

And you are right, Mar. It does give her points. She's still a n00b for NOT thinking before she spoke in the case of Dunaway. But I'm sure she really regrets it now...since it happened so quickly and then was replayed over and over again 'round the world. And yes, I will keep it on my site to add to her feeling regret:-)

ROUND 1 goes to YDLM:


This usually isn't my deal, talkin' random crap about random covers of BOP magazine. And although I know there are some true Hilary Duff fans that read my site (in fact, I've already MET 2 of them!), I really couldn't care less about the chick. Ya know? But I just saw this and had to comment on it.

Bratty Duff is trying to diss Faye Dunaway?? No, no, no no no.

I guess Duff was cast in a movie about Bonnie & Clyde--Dunaway was Bonnie in the original-- and Dunaway said something recently like, "Couldn't they have cast a real actress??" So in response to that, Duff said this:


"...I might be mad if I looked like that too, so *giggle*"

Tool.

Allow me to explain what Ms. Dunaway was trying to get across. This is Faye Dunaway *acting*:


AND


(some spoilers if you haven't seen "Gia" yet)

...and this, is Duff "acting":


Yeah. Not so much.

I guess it's just a matter of the maturity level not being there. Maybe one day, she'll realize what she said wasn't cool...or maybe not. I'll forget about it in a couple of days anyway, so who cares:-) But uh, I'd also like to point out that Dunaway will ALWAYS win points for having the balls (aka "desire to buy another Lexus") to be on this show and critique this scene in particular;-)

mmm...lady kisses. yumster!

PINK on ELLEN today...

Just thought you'd be interested:-)



I know Ellen has already aired today in some cities (like the one I'm in:-/) but there are several that can still catch it...

Check this page on Ellen's website to see your local listings (worldwide) and shiz.

UPDATE: Here's a bit of what you missed if you weren't able to catch it. Don't fear though, it was super easy for me to find this online...perhaps there's more somewhere out there:-)


My fav is 1:40-2:00.

Top 10 Reasons L word Season 6, Episode 3 Was..."Good. Better Than I Expected, Good."

10. Rachel Shelley on a Treadmill.


You see, the scene was probably only 5 or 6 seconds. But let me tell you why it will last in my heart, for a lifetime--or like, at least 2 weeks. For one, Helena aka "My SECOND WIFE, Rachel Shelley," was in tight clothes. Because of this, we were able to see her body parts almost as if she were wearing nothing at all. Second of all, she was also running (actually it was a weird hopping thing), therefore her body was in a vertical up and down movement. I'll invite you to look at the diagram and 3D mock-up I've created using entirely edible confections. If you turn your attention to the left side of your screen and--wait, I'm getting a signal from my producer: --What? We can't secure the rights to manufacture an edible Rachel Shelley doll? I don't understand. She thinks what is creepy?.... oh I see. Ok. You win some, you lose some.

9. Tina's Bald, Angry Boss is Annoying as "Fuck."
No. There's nothing more to it.

8. Angela Robinson is Still the Best Director the Show's Ever Had. If you read my lists from last season, you know that I'm a big fan of Angela's directing and writing work on The El. She directed one of my favorite episodes of all time last season--you know, the one where they ate the weed brownies and had that big lezzy party?--and she directed this episode as well. And no matter what beef I have with large scale plots (or lack thereof) and character issues (*coughwhodatcough*) and character disappearances (*coughwheresbabygirl?somebodycallchildprotectiveservicescough*), I ALWAYS find myself absolutely loving the episodes she directs. The actresses seem to have a lot more fun when Angela's at the helm, and there's more improv, which makes it more natural and funny. It was also nice to see the quick cameo Angela had pitching the vampire movie to Tina in her office. LONG LIVE "GIRLTRASH!!"

7. Shane Boobs.

But where were Jenny's? Is there a clause that states you can't have both powerhouse boobs on the screen at once? Or maybe its something about the fact that if all 4 of them were out, they'd be touching and running amuck. In any case, I want my Jen-Boob-Bies. (That was supposed to sound like "I want my MTV"...did it work? *sigh*) Oh and, thank god they brought Jenny's dog back. I was getting hella worried.

6. EVERYONE's Reaction to Shane and Jenny.
Although I think an even better reaction would have been executed a bit like this:
Simian Mobile Disco - Hustler



5. "Studio Fifty-Fo??" You Have Got to be Kidding Me!
Look here. Pam Grier is an articulate, badass, classy lady! Why in the EFF do they have her saying "Studio Fifty-fo" all up in the L Word.

Look at this:

Mmmhmmm...that's the ONLY "part of Pam that is Kit." Not a "fo'" or "dat" in the mix. Stop it, Ilene. Stop it.


4. Mia Kirshner Describing Alice's "Unique Vocal Range." Mia was hilarious in this episode.
I also wanted to remind you guys that Mia Kirshner, along with 3 other co-authors, has released a book about refugees called "I Live Here." It's amazing to me how this is the same woman we watch every Sunday:

You should read these comments about the book. I think you can find it in most large bookstores.

3. You Can NOT Tell Me That This Was Kit's First *tam* Ever Getting a Text Message.

My mom is 2 months older than Kit and she will text me to tell me every *TAM* "that little girl"--mom code for "Reese Witherspoon"--has a new movie out. Or any *TAM* she wants to know if a certain woman is gay--my gaydar is AMAZINGLY accurate, but she thinks I invented it. My mom will text me if Simon says something extra cruel to Paula or if she needs to know the name of "that little bald-headed boy on that show with that father, you know!" So you can not tell me this is the first time Kit's seen a text come through. The bitches on that show text more than they talk and no one has EVER texted Kit?? I just thought of something: What if Kit has 47 unread messages from Baby Girl asking her to pick her up from wherever on earth they send her every day??

2. Helena Saying "bloody hell" Almost Made Up for All of Kit's Lines...

...except "studio fifty fo"

Fill in the Blank: "Helena: yo bootiful when you're..." According to Kit's reading of Dylan's note to Helena, the original ending to this sentence was "...angry." But as you well know, there are a plethora of other words that can be used in its place. I invite you to fill in the blank (thats what she said). I'll start you off (that's what she said).


Helena: Yo bootiful when you're...breathing.

Helena: Yo bootiful when you're...all up in my face.

Helena: Yo bootiful when you're...taking all of your clothes off in my bedroom and bein' all like "Arlan, you're the absolute best I've ever had. I didn't truly know what an orgasm WAS until I met you."

Yo turn!

1. Alice Through the Looking Glass. I don't know who we need to credit for having the sense to actually talk about something topical and relevant to the plight of the GLBT community in a NORMAL and realistic way, but extreme Juno-kudos to whoever it is. The letter Alice read on "The Look" was pitch perfect, and the whole Alice-uses-her-powers-for-good turnabout was really cool too. Hopefully the message reached a larger audience than the fake View's.
Please watch this:



BONUS!
The first tam I ever saw two girls really kiss was when I watched "The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love" at age 16. I had started wondering about my sexuality after the whole *why is this new female Brazilian exchange student making my tummy tingle?* incident. So with my shiny new driver's license, I did a covert operation down at a small video store I NEVER went to. I thought I was clever doing it this way. No one would ever know. Too bad the dude working there had never heard of the movie and the place was SO small that instead of calling someone in the back room on the phone, he instead shouted across the entire store, "DUDE, do we have something called"--and at this point, I'm sure it wasn't as loud or as in slow motion as it seemed to me, but it went a little something like this: "--INCREDIBLY TRUE ADVENTURES OF TWWWOOOO GIIIIIRLS IN LOOOOOOOVE - LOOOVE - LOOOVE???"

*sigh*

Well I made it through that, went home, popped in the tape and had a few giggles at the clever dialogue and the pretty girls. "I'm still straight. I'm probably just a really cool friend of the community"--I thought to myself. That was until the point where Evie says to Randy, "...unshelter me." I was gay from that point on and I'm not sure if you've noticed or not, but I've never looked back. I actually cried the first time they kissed on screen because I felt normal and free and proud. And turned on. Really, really turned on.

But anyhoo...that is all to say that my bonus this week is for Laurel Holloman. She doesn't get enough love on my blog and she really should. I still don't know how one would go about putting "a trace on the film," but I love Tina all the same. And without Tina, we'd have no Baby Girl, Tibette sex or "tam."
HOLLER!