Clementine Comes Out Of Closet (Again), So I Come Out Of Hiding

Yeah, I've totally been m.i.a. on the blog and myspace recently, I know. But if you follow me on Twitter or are my friend on Facebook, you know that I'm still alive, still busy and still crushin' on the ladies.

One such crush is of course Clementine Ford (aka "Molly" on the L Word). Over the past few weeks she's "come out" on the cover of DIVA, gone back into the closet in an interview with TVGuide.com and now most recently, come BACK out of the closet in the Advocate (click here to read the new interview!). It's all a long story, but the short version is this: Clementine is gay, y'all, or whatever label works for you that means she likes making sweet love to the ladies. She's not ashamed of it. She never denied it. She was misquoted in Diva and felt her fans were mislead by the cover's text. And when she tried to explain that in TVGuide, she was once again misrepresented.

I think this means Ms. Clementine just needs to do more video interviews (*cough*withME!*cough) in the future.

She doesn't want her sexual orientation to be the first thing you think of when you see/hear her. Lucky for her, it's not! The first thing I think of when I see/hear Clementine Ford? It goes a little something like this:

*thud*
"Wow. That hurt and this floor is sticky. I should really stand up again cause its embarrassing down here. Wonder if she saw me fall. Ooh...Clementine's really hot even from this angle. Her eyes sparkle, like an angel's would. I'm of course just assuming since I've never seen a real angel in person. Unless you count that time Rachel Shelley gave me a sponge bath in a standalone tub in my dream Rome. I wonder if those are color contacts. Prolly not cause they wouldn't make em sparkle like that. Hmm, wonder if she's single. Prolly so. Wonder if she likes chubby black girls with a decent sense of humor who don't enunciate enough. Wonder if she shops at Target like me. Wonder if she has a car...so she can drive us around on our dates. Sparkly eyes...sweet smile...oh, and would you look at that: cleavage. The full package. I should really, REALLY stand up now."

So there you go...but hey Clem, next time you get interviewed and you're tired of talking about this subject, just send the interviewer this clip and come meet me for a drink instead:

BBL

Will be back in full effect in a few days...taking care of a few things. See you soon!

Fee Fi Fo Fum...I Wonder Where I Should Put This Thumb...

I've never seen a second of Gossip Girl so I have no idea who the other chick in this pic is, but I do know one thing: bitch is a lucky as hell.



There's something about Blake Lively that I really dig. I honestly clapped EVERY TIME she was on screen during the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants' sequel. Like, out loud. In a packed theater. In the front row. And it was almost an involuntary motion. She's just HOT. And it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to know that her bro Eric was the actor who played the creepy dude who filmed Shane and Jenny on the L Word season 2. That means that Blake watched the show at least for a season, and that to me, = good times.

I guess this pic is in the April issue of Rolling Stone. You should do some googling to find even more "naughty" pics. Whatev's. She's SO straight and this is a huge gimmicky campaign for ratings. But uh...still, its a pic of Blake Lively stickin' her thumb in the mouth of some other non-ugly chick...and according to the "Lesbian Handbook" (that I like totally co-wrote), it is my duty to post this picture.

...and stare at it.

...for 10 minutes.

You are welcome.

I Know What I'll Be Watching on Monday:

haha...awesome.

Here's another promo from last week:


Who else said out loud or to yourself "Yeah, your face." at around 6:07? ;-)

"Cover up With Make-up in the Mirror..."

A few months ago when I found out that out lesbian rapper Melange Lavonne was looking for the right director/producers of her next music video, I instantly thought of the perfect group of people for her to partner with. I put her in touch with the only lesbian-run independent film production company (and the people that brought us "Itty Bitty Titty Committee"), POWER UP. Months of hard work have paid off and they've just released a really cool video for Melange's song "Domestic Abuse." It's definitely going to get people talking, just like her video from 2007 "Gay Bash," which was one of the most played videos on LOGO in 07 and 08. Oh and just in case you're wondering, this song was recorded and the video filmed before the Rihanna/Chris Brown incident:



If you're in a violent relationship with a woman and you need help (which, you DO), visit http://www.vawnet.org. If you're in a violent relationship with a man and need help (which, you DO), visit http://www.ndvh.org.

Leave a comment here and let Melange and POWER UP know what you thought of the song/vid!

UPDATE: It was just announced that Melange has won the online vote to perform at the new event "Dinah Idol" in Palm Springs this year. Very cool...

To watch the video for "Gay Bash," click here.

Step Right Up Folks and "Get" Your Gay Crush!

...now fortified with extra B-vitamins!

As you know, no matter how cuh-ray-zee Tyra acts, and no matter how cuh-ray-zee she will undoubtably get in the future, I will always...and I mean ALWAYS...*heart* her for this moment on her show 2 years ago with my wife, Katharine Mcphee:


:-)

And while some critics say she's not even close to being the "next Oprah..."

(altered pic courtesy of The Finer Dandy blog)

...I say halt! Let's take a closer look, shall we? From her smiling with your eyes tutorial on America's Next Top Model, to her "fat suit" experiment, to her fascination with just about EVERYTHING mundane, I think she's definitely walking in the big O's $2,000 footsteps (each). And with her episode on Tuesday, I'd have to say she's just taken one small step for Tyra, one giant leap for Oprah-likeness.

This past Tuesday, Tyra had a show called "Straight Girl Gay Crush." I didn't see it, but the quick promo is enough to make me wanna watch the whole thing on her site. Tyra has a LOT more gay people around her on a daily basis than Oprah, I'm sure. But I still get the same entertainment out of her fascination with gay folks, as I do with the big O's.

This promo just loops annoyingly....but catch the first 30 seconds of it. It looks interesting!


Oh and also, I love this picture:


Oh, Tyra. What would I do without you in my life?

My L Word finale vlog...

I discuss finger condoms, Rachel Shelleys, a possible L Word movie, and cake. Get at it:


...a mere 10 minutes can not contain my randomness:

L Word Finale...

Comment with your thoughts about the finale, this season, and the entire series.

Wish My Mom a Happy 60th Bday!

Hey everyone!

Next Thursday, March 12th, my mom turns 60:-) In 2007 and 2008, you guys helped me surprise her with cards and letters from all over the U.S. & the world wishing her a happy birthday.



This is a letter she wrote to you and me after she was surprised the first year:

"March 12, 2007 was my birthday. It was the most significant birthday of my life. The reason was the many cards, postcards, notes, and letters I received from, at last count, 50 strangers. Each and everyone of those once strangers, now friends, told me in some way how my daughter, Arlan, had enriched their lives. And each one in their own way gave me the credit. How much more can one expect to achieve in life. Each piece of mail touched my heart. I am asking Arlan to send out a general thank you to all of OUR friends."

This year, I'd love your help again. In the past you've sent her everything from postcards from all over the U.S. and around the world (she loves those!!), to 10-page heartfelt letters (wow) to drawings your children have made for her...to handmade items that you've made specially for her bday.

If you would like to send something*, please send to:

Mrs. Earline Sims
PO Box 27413
Houston, TX 77227
USA

Start sending today through next week...don't worry about being a couple of days early or a few days late because this is a big year for her, so getting bday wishes throughout the month will be awesome for her!

*My mom has a sense of humor, but please don't send any sexually-themed cards. I know that seems like a no-brainer, but uh *ahem*...in the past, it hasnt been. Haha...
____________

I posted about my "coming out" story a few months ago...this is just one of the 1000s of reasons I love my mom so much:



"I had quite possibly the easiest/coolest coming out to a mother in recorded history. Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration. I'll let you be the judge...

I was 16 and had recently come to terms with my sexuality. I had a girlfriend who lived in Germany--yes, my fascination with the internationals has been going strong for years now...it ain't a phase. My girlfriend and I were online chatting with each other, when my mom walked into my room. I quickly covered the screen because I didn't want her seeing what we were typing, even though I'm sure it was quite an innocent conversation. This is how the conversation with my mom went:

Mama: You don't have to hide the screen. I know everything about you that there is to know.

Me: Ha...yeah right. You don't know that I'm pregnant! (cause my mom and I have always had a very friendly relationship where we were comfortable joking like that.)

Mama: What I know about you, you won't be getting pregnant any time soon.

Me: *silent and stunned*

Mama: *looking at my walls like she's searching for something*

Me: What are you looking for?

Mama: An Ellen Degeneres poster.

Me: *silent and stunned*

Mama: *exeunt stage right*

My mom has since watched me go through 3 major relationships with women, and she adores each of these chicks almost as much as I did/do, as if they're her own daughters. She frequently calls me to tell me about something *gay* that she thinks you guys would like to know about. When she went to Chicago for the first time in May and saw the play "The Color Purple," she called me immediately after it was over to tell me about all of the lesbian under (and over) tones. She was saying all of this in front of a woman who has been her best friend for the past 40 years, and I could just hear her pride coming through the phone.

She's also said on more than one occasion that she'd go gay for Oprah and Martha Stewart. Can't beat that with a stick. My mama's just cool, y'all."

-arlan

Cause See, It's Glitter...For Your Clit.

Wow...I don't even know where to begin with this one. My good friend and friend of the blog Aimee left this on my Facebook wall...and I feel real dirty, highly amused and a little in shock. What in THE hell??



hahahaha....what?

Yeah. I needed that today. Thanks Aimee!

Aw, I Can't Stay Mad at You Guys...

Aw!! Pics taken during the filming of the last episode...

(video found on cotocoli's profile)

All photographs were taken by Cassie Pappas, the L Word's writers' assistant for this season.

I haven't been this TV-sad since:


Oh and of course this:

Eat Your Scantily Clad Sorta Lesbian Make-Out Partner in Public Veggies!

I'm not sure if this will make anyone want to become a vegetarian (especially the dudes drooling over it and taking pictures?), but uh, it certainly might sway some girls into become VAGetarians, that's for sure:


(Thanks to my good friend, resident straight-girl-with-a-bi-brain Shastina for finding this for us!)

PETA scares me most of the time, but Pink digs it, so it can't be ALL bad. I guess its just those extremists who do crazy things like throw fake blood on fur and burn down buildings, etc. I've just always had a bit of a thing against it, even though I know their overall message is AWESOME.

If you're a member of PETA, please leave a comment and let me know some more about the organization. I feel like it's my lesbian duty to be a supporter. Although I don't think I could EVER be a vegetarian. My favorite foods are mexican and italian, and I was raised on food cooked by Mississippians and Texans...YOU do the math.