Something Tells Me They're Not Doing This For the Camera or the Boys.

Ok, hear me out before you judge me. So yeah, there's totally a guy filming this and there are totally guys using flash photography in the background and making comments. And yes the girl on the right sometimes appears to be falling asleep, they're both wasted, and around the 3rd minute of the vid, there's an intoxicated/surprised girl off camera that sounds like a chicken or some sort of pigeon being strangled.

And I hear your sighs and see your eyes rolling...but I stand here today and ask you this: Is it wrong for a couple of cute (and of age! I checked!) Polish ladies to decide to devour each other's tongues for 3 whole minutes and let us witness it? NAY, I say. Or whatever the word for "noooo!" is in Polish. I say that too.



Here's the thing: watching two girls make out is probably one of the best things God and Oprah ever invented. And I am not only grateful to them for inventing it, I'm proud of them. Cause I know sometimes God and Oprah disagree (but you know who gets their way when they do)..this time though, they thought of the bigger picture. They thought of Little Arlan Hamilton in RollingStone, America who has dreams. Dreams of cute Polish ladies touchin' each other's boobs in a poorly lit bedroom at some dude name Jaco's "house party" one night.

I think we should start thanking Oprah's left boob for some of the pretty things in life. What do you think? I bet Oprah's left boob could fire you at your job right now if it wanted. Like if I effed up Oprah's order at KFC or something one day (I dont work there, but if I did, you see)...I think Oprah's so powerful, she wouldn't even have to say anything or lift a finger to make a complaint. She'd just delegate one of her boobs--in this case the left one cause the right one would be transcribing an interview or somethin--and ol' Lefty would just get to firin'.

Ya fired.

I See the Girl Who Turns My World Around...

Soleil Moon Frye just did this live on Ustream. It made me smile for 5 minutes gay straight, so I thought I'd share it with you in case you missed it:


You know what else makes me smile?


DAMN, I wish the video from this post of mine from 2006 was still working. Soleil Moon Frye totally made out with a chick in it. Hmph!

Thanks for your order!

Contact me at shotbyarlan@gmail.com with any questions!

-Arlan

Mia Kirshner's "I Live Here" Event Aug. 22nd

(Follow Mia on Twitter at twitter.com/miak_Ilivehere)

Thank you to Lori for letting me know about Mia Kirshner's August 22nd fundraiser in Santa Monica, CA.

If you're in the L.A. area, you should definitely head over to this event. I would suggest getting advance tickets because it's gonna be Mia all up in this piece. Tickets are bound to go fast:-)



Here's the info that came with the vid:

Hosted by actress and I Live Here Founder: Mia Kirshner, Operation USA, Causecast and CODEPINK benefits the launch of our literacy program in Malawi, Africa. We will have a silent auction, music, KCRW DJing the event, food and drinks! Come out and support a great cause.

$25 minimum cover.
Tickets on sale at: https://donate.opusa.org/ilivehere

Please purchase Advance Tickets, as we anticipate to sell out rather fast.

If you cannot attend our LA Fundraiser, but would like to donate and support this important cause please visit: https://donate.opusa.org/ilivehere. Every dollar counts.

18+ only...click<--- to see more!

The Eric Dane Sex Tape: I HAVE to Say This.

Why in the EFF are people upset that Eric Dane is in a sex tape with his WIFE and some other chick?? That's the most romantic thing that's come out of Hollywood in a while! And as far as the drugs go, they made that decision as adults, and weren't driving around under the influence, using anyone under age or hurting anyone. I'm TEAM DANE at this point.

I don't like to be around people who are under the influence of drugs. As someone once told me, its like *cheating* life in a way. So contrary to what you may believe, I would NOT be kicking it with these 3 while they were high, even though the two ladies were naked as they wanna be. Let's get a bottle of Jack and get naked. We don't need anything more. BUT..again..how is this a scandal? That's his WIFE, yo. If you were Eric Dane, wouldn't you do this every night? I would. Just with some gin and juice.

Please let me know if I'm missing any pertinent information from this story that would change my opinion. Like, did they sell a baby in minute 12 while I was making a hot pocket?

Reader Advice: Bye Bye Shy

I get dozens of messages every day. It's amazingly flattering that a lot of them are from people seeking advice. Sometimes I know the answer, and sometimes I don't. I know from getting to know you guys over the past 3 years that you all have LOTS of wisdom and experience (and laughs) to offer, so I figured I'd post a few of the questions on my blog from time to time for you to answer. The people will remain anonymous if they want, but will be reading your responses. So check this one out:

Hey! Just like 2 say, i love your blog! i know this is really random but i need some advice. i am gettin with a new girl, but i have a problem with gettin close to women that i like. when i am on my own with her, i try talking to my friends about it, but they dont quite understand, so i have no one 2 talk 2. Every time she comes round, i have a habit of clammin up, i mean i put on films, we cuddle but i come out with daft and crap stuff, i need sum help in being confident.

-Chick in the UK

Oh I even love READING the British speak:-)

What's your advice guys?

*If you need advice and would like for me to post your question, send me a message on Facebook.com/dailyarlan and indicate that you'd like for it to be a public question. The ladies will do the rest:-) And by "ladies," I mean my readers...not my boobs. Although the right one DOES have a degree in Psychology.

British Dyke Barbie. Strap-ons Sold Separately.

(from Lovegirls.co.uk)

If there's one thing I love even more than British women, it's British women talking about and demonstrating acts of lesbian sex with dyked-out Barbie dolls. Hey, I'm just sayin'.

So imagine my delight when this morning I received an email from Toni, the founder of my faaavourite (that "u" is for all my lasses out there) UK lezzy site, Lovegirls.co.uk, AND she came bearing gifts. UK lesbian gifts as far as the eye can see. You see, the brilliant ladies over at Lovegirls decided to make one of my dreams come true (without even knowing it) with their article/photo series: "Lesbian sex for 'dummies'" It's a hilarious piece by itself (lol @ "The Student" and its description), but what really takes the gay cake, is the behind the scenes video they posted:



My favorites parts are "The wheelbarrow" and the "Lazy." :-) I definitely wish some of the parts weren't sped up because we don't get to hear as much BRITISH as we should, and that's a shame. But I not only laughed out loud during most of this video, at one point I gave it a full laugh-out-loud-plus-spontaneous-solo-applause.

Then of course I found myself dead silent a few times, because I realized that there were English women on my screen, doing things to each other. And I totally saw boob.

So whether you're a newbie (welcome, ladies. my number is...) or an old pro at the lezzy love, I think you'll find Lesbian sex for 'dummies'<--- highly entertaining and informative. If any of you would like to do some more demonstrating through photographs and send them my way privately, FEEL effin' FREE!!
____

BONUS!! If you want to see some non-doll demonstrations of ye olde sex du lesbianne, you might find this website appealing. 18+ ONLY



Click here to visit my favorite lesbian erotica website<--- 18+ ONLY!!

Taylor Swift Likes to Dress in Drag and Wants to Kiss a Girl. Arlan Rejoices.

Kinda, sorta.

I mean, it's true, she looked VERY comfortable in this KISS gear at a recent show when she "pranked" Keith Urban. She and the rest of her band jumped on stage during his song "Kiss a Girl" and rocked out. But I'm not ready to call it JUST yet with this one. I think in her case, she's married to her music/career. Now kids, you can watch all of this video, or you can do what Teacher (that's me. I'm gonna start calling myself "Teacher" when I address you all as "kids"...just cause) did on the second viewing and just skip to around 1:15mins to hear what I've been waiting to hear from Taylor for a year now:



I dig Taylor's music, and lord knows I've cranked up that Romeo song like it was 1999 on several occasions, but I gotta admit the appeal for me--and this is strange for me--is the good girl vibe she has going on. I've heard from a couple of close friends of hers that its EXTREMELY genuine, so even better!

Now until the day Tay-Tay (that's what I call her, see) calls me up and asks me to go on tour with her as her like...I dont know...nanny or life coach or something...you and I will have to cope with just being able to follow her on ye olde Twitter like everyone else--> twitter.com/taylorswift13.

Just an observation: Kellie Pickler is one of her best friends. I credit Pickler for bringing out my wife Katharine Mcphee's gay. Mayhaps she can do the same for Tay-Tay?

P.S. If Tay-Tay does go gay-gay, and decides to not do so with me, I hope THIS happens instead:


One can dream, can't one??

If That's Your Girlfriend, She Wasn't Last Night.

(Persia White)


(Chrisette Michele)

If I ever had a chance to holler at my girl Persia White (Lynn on the tv show GIRLFRIENDS), this is EXACTLY how I'd do it:


Chrisette Michele is my new music obsession. If you liked her voice in that clip, you absolutely HAVE to check out this live performance of her song "Blame it on Me" from VH1's Soulstage--> *click*. She even got the lesbian haircut and everything just for me us.

I'm excited as hell about the solo album Persia White's just finished. I will be first in line! Here she is discussing it a couple of weeks ago:


...in case you were wondering, it is more than appropriate to want to lick your screen at this point. You can get a taste of Persia's style by watching this vid--> *click*. You can get a taste for her lovemaking style by visiting my dreams on Sunday nights (since there's ALWAYS a Girlfriends marathon on WE television on Sundays. Yep, mmhmm!)

Olivia and Oscar: Gone Wilde

Ok this is going to be a hybrid post. It's not because I don't have enough to say about these two lovely topics separately, its just that they both share the "Wilde" thing, and it sounds like "wild" and its too good for me to not use. I'm having a personal celebration about it cause I am a word nerd, K?

So lets start with this Olivia Wilde character. As you all know, I am very much a fan of the ladies; especially if those ladies are hot and like other ladies. Even if one of the two is true, consider me a big fan. So I make it my business each day to check out women, look for gay situations on tv shows and say the words "make...OUT!!" at least once to my tv screen each day. But sometimes...sometimes...*sigh*...things get past me.

So I am very embarrassed to say that I did not know until very recently that Olivia Wilde's character on HOUSE is a gay. A homoseshual. A lesbian female woman. (UPDATE: So apparently she's bi, not gay. I love bi women, so all is still well. Viva las women lovers!) I don't catch every episode and have only started watching it recently, so I knew three things: 1. Olivia Wilde is fucking hot. 2. Olivia Wilde is that chick who made out with Misha Barton on the ONLY episode of the OC I've ever seen, and 3. I only like watching the episodes of HOUSE that have Olivia Wilde in them.

Ok so at least 2 of those should have been clues, but it totally went over my head. That is....until I saw this...


Oh.em.gee.

Right *ahem* so...the episode went on to be an extremely well-written, well-acted, and well-lesbianed episode. The pieces came together (that's what she said) and now I know whatsherface doctor is the gay. Good times. Moral of the story? WATCH THIS SHOW if you don't already. And also, DAYUM.

I'm also a bit late on the music train with this one. But I have a feeling this will be the first time a lot of you hear/see this band, "Company of Thieves." They make my ears smile. Think about it:


("Oscar Wilde" by Company of Thieves)

I could listen to this chick's voice all day...

If you want more of Genevieve, Marc and Mike (but let's face it, you just want more of Genevieve), check em out on their official sizite: www.companyofthieves.net

I've Been Dying To Poke Your Face (...and Other Places On Your Body)

You know I hear that Perez Hilton is getting his own record label imprint. That's cool. I wish him the best, and I hope people stop punching him in his eye area. But I think I am much more qualified to have a label! Case in point? My good friend Amy Kuney. I've been telling you guys 'bout Amy for decades. Deck-aids!

And while she's normally a soft-spoken young lass with a heart o' gold and voice of an angel (an angel who sounds remarkably like Fiona Apple on some chill pills), Friday Amy revealed another side to herself. A side I've seen, only behind closed doors. And surprisingly enough, I am NOT referring to her 'naked side'. Nuh-uh. I'm talkin 'bout her silly, hilarious, witty, ricockulous side. This one's good for at least 5 views per person this week, and I've already used up my 5 views in 48 hours.

Pass it on to your friends!



...and other places on your body. hee.

Show Amy some love in these easy to reach areas:
myspace.com/amykuney
facebook.com/amykuney
twitter.com/amykuney

Here she is doing her real original thing with the song "All Downhill" (featured on 'One Tree Hill')

This Is Worth It's Own Post...

Ladies and some gentlemen, I just received this as a comment to my last post. Please prepare yourselves. Move closer to the screen. Have a friend pop some popcorn. Exercise your stomach area muscles and smile. It's about to get weird(er) up in here:

I won't tell you the name this person used to leave this comment. But it was one word, one syllable, and it was the name of a feisty animal:

I am looking for a female to have a child for one of two outcomes. If it is a male child the prospect would be considered a surrogate and if it is a female I would be considered a sperm donor. I am only interested in this type of proposal and contract. If male the prospect would give up all RIGHTS and responsibilities and if a female child I would give up all rights and RESPONSABILITIES. This would be good for any person without funds or a lesbian couple looking for a child. I will not pay any money so don't ask.

Contact me for more details.

I am in no hurry.

Leave a comment and let me know what your favorite part was. My favorite part was *ALL OF IT*....oh and also "so don't ask." I particularly liked that part after reading what proceeded it. Even though you are dead serious Mr. poster man, thank you for brightening up my day with this nonsense.

P.S. He left no way to contact him for more details. Hmph!