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Saturday, December 16, 2006

ma'am, your 12 year-old daughter's a dyke. thank you. come again.

(i swear there are boobs later in this post, if you make it through my rant.)

i buy my groceries at Target.

its the closest place for me to get to and since i dont have a car, its what works. they dont sell fruit or water, but really, who needs that? im sorta pissed that they dont sell hard liquor. but i make do with their wine selection. im always tempted to buy their wine in a box thingies. but what someone should REALLY create just for me is one of those juice boxes with the little straw that you poke thru, but with red wine instead of apple juice or whatever. id buy em 6 at a time and squeeze the shit out of those things.

anyway, since Target is so big, one thing i like to do to pass the time while im walking around it is to play a little game i created called "DYKE!"

the game is simple. i walk around. if i see a family with a daughter in it, i listen to their conversation for about 20 seconds, and figure out whether or not she's going to be a dyke. and then, if she is, i say internally, "DYKE!" and move on. try it sometime. its tons of fun.

but tonight my fun was interrupted by something...and i just wanna speak to yall for a second about it. i think anyone who is 12 or younger should NOT have a cell phone. they say its cause their parents wanna keep up with where they are, but i dont buy it. first of all, everytime i see a kid on a cell phone, theyre usually talkin to "bridget" or "josh". and that aint their mama. and second of all, if you're 12 or younger, you dont need to be walking around without your mama.

mama's: dont send your 11 year old daughter out with her 10 year old friends to go to Starbucks to get a venti double shot frap at 9:30 at night! and dont let her dress like that. those jeans are TOO tight. i dont care if they're bedazzled. there are perverts walking the streets.

also, little kids, STOP CURSING in public. i swear one day im gonna go on a spanking rampage up and down Target's aisles. you wont be able to stop me from givin' your kid a spanking. especially if the person theyre cursing at is YOU. get some goddamn control over that shit. dont have them fuckin' cursin' and shit. that shits fucked.

ok.... back home...and things are ok. im on my period and i've had lots of chocolate, so the beast has been tamed for now.

im gonna go watch something sad and then watch some porn. just to wrap up the night.

while im doin that, you guys enjoy this...oh my...

if this clip makes you as happy as it makes me, buy "Saving Face" by clicking on the pic below.


Lizzy said...

I completely agree with you about the 12 years olds its just wrong. they cant wait to grow up and i just want to yell at them to enjoy their child hood and be young.

Also Saving Face is an awsome movie I went out and bought it after seeing it once and i watch all the time.


Anonymous said...

thats suckie, theyre always censored.

Thank you for all the cool updates though.

alessandro said...

nice choice of music in that scene, but i can't for the life of me place the singer's voice. but the song is the velvet underground's "i found a reason". the girl's mom calling was also a great touch :)

go_sailor said...

This is the best post ever - ranting about little prosti-tots at target with their cell phones they don't need. Seriously - I remember the days where I used to just wonder around the neighborhood for hours on end - parents just weren't as paranoid as they are now I guess.

And thanks for posting a decent pair of asian lesbians - the only ones I've ever seen are the highschool girl porno stars who don't know how to kiss and screech like wild monkeys whenever they have sex. You're awesome :3

Anonymous said...


(about the little kids.)

green said...

i love the fact that you buy your groceries at Target.

catinthehat said...

hey people, kids emulate what adults do. it is difficult in a society that considers driving, adult shops/sex and drinking as rites of passage.
i went to the theater to see saving face when it came out. my gf and i were fighting, so i went solo. the movie has a happy ending, but my gf and i broke up. thanks for showing that clip, though. it is a movie definitely worth seeing. happy holidays to you!

k8ydid said...

Omg I saw Saving Face over thanksgiving and bought it from amazon the next day! I told my straight Chinese-American friend (hmm can I fit any more descriptors in there?) about it and she actually didn't believe me *giggles* not just that the movie was about the lesbian thing, but when I mentioned the mothers storyline she almost went ballistic :P Her family is very 'traditional' (read as: fucked up) yeah sooo good movie

julie s said...

i agree with you about those damn kids. childhood seems to be dissapearing these days... it's so sad.

also, saving face is awesome. i loved it! they are so beautiful together!

Anonymous said...

thank god, i'm not alone in wondering what the hell parents are thinking when they let their kids go out in slutty clothes. some people are for u going off to watch porn....well so am i! :P