Bi-onic Woman? Come on you guys, just for me...

(Mcphee and I are getting a new roommate, y'all.)

Ladies and ladies, I had a post all typed out about the new "Bionic Woman" show and the hot training and fight scenes, and about how they should totally make the chick bisexual since she's hot and lives in San Fran on the show. I was ready to press "publish," when something...came up?

What I am about to say is not easy for me. Mostly because I'm so turned on right now I could probably singlehandedly keep the entire city of San Francisco lit up for hours. I have been watching the show, and digging it. There was wet chick fighting. There were one-handed pull ups. But until this very hour, I had no idea...that...

Michelle Ryan is BRITISH. *tear*

No seriously, look:


*Swooooon*

Ok, ok so you're saying that I'm WAAAY behind the times here right since this chick was once on East Enders (snoggin a chick, no less) but I didn't know!

If you're not watching "Bionic Woman," here's a good reason to start:


If you're still not convinced, you obviously have not seen this yet:


I've been on the horn with Mcphee's voicemail for a few minutes trying to convince it to let me allow Michelle to sleep on my side of the bed this time. K's voicemail is a bit selfish though...so we'll see who wins. I've got spunk and tenacity...this could go my way.

P.S. This is an interesting little clip I found online from nearly 4 years ago:

"Eastenders beauty Michelle Ryan has admitted she has sex to relax, but her recent lesbian snog on the British soap was all hard work. Michelle Zoe Slater in the show set pulses racing when she kissed screen pal Kelly Taylor, played by Brooke Kinsella. But the 19-year-old said: ''It really wasn't a big deal to me. 'It's just work and you just get on with it, so it was exactly like kissing any other character.'' She also said making love helps her wind down after a hard day. ''How do I relax? Oh you know... sex. I love having sex, it's the best thing ever!''"

Amen, Michelle from 4 years ago. Amen.

P.P.S. HOLY MOTHER OF CRISPY CREAM DONUTS AND ALL THAT IS HOLY!<--click *whew*...

I hope to see my roommate in the grotto...

So it's the age-old story of girl with blog meets hot girl, girl with blog and hot girl become roommates, hot girl gets cast on a new MTV show, and girl with blog...blogs about it.

My roommate Ellie is going to be on the new MTV show "Shot at Love w/Tila Tequila" that premieres tonight (check your local listings). You have no idea how excited I am to watch this show and see how far Ellie makes it. I'm so excited in fact, that I'm not even going to get started on how much I think the show misrepresented itself when it was doing its casting, how the bisexual "twist" sets *us* back about 15 years, and how Tila Tequila would try to pass for black if someone offered her more myspace friends.

Ahem.

The important part of this post is this: WATCH MY ROOMMATE and amazing friend Ellie on the show tonight and root for her. She's GREAT people and one of the only real people that I've met in L.A. Love this girl...

@ Ellie: "cause i can, can!" ;-)

what's the square root of bi?

over the past couple of years working on my site, i've seen some bisexual hatin' goin on. and i just dont get it! how can lesbians--women who are in a minority and judged because of their sexual orientation--judge other people...due to their sexual...orientation? it doesn't make a lot of sense, now does it?

i mean obviously there's more support than there is hating. but listen to mary j when she says, "dont need no hateration..." then she talks about hollerations and making hamburgers and leaving patties at the front door, or somethin.

i came across this vlog today. the chick is 35 and lives in new york, but i hear lots of southern in 'er. which i LOVE, in case you didnt know. 5th to british, australian, french, spanish...of course. but thats not the point. i liked what she had to say a lot...i like how she expresses herself. open your eyes, open your ears, and open your hearts...well, while youre at it, open your legs and your shirt...and listen to one woman's take on bein...bi-seshual!

"Answering some Qs. Correction to one of the Qs.. I miscounted my female encounters. Five, not six. Excuse me if this isn't the best video I've ever done, but I'm high on Nyquil and I feel lousy."

(see her artsy vids by going to youtube.com/user/OshunAvani)

i thought i was done, but im not. ok...i do get how some people can be upset with those people who choose to make out with other chicks just to make some guy all hot and bothered. thats not being "bi" to me. thats being "try."

im talking about the geniune bisexuals here. the ones who have to deal with even more prejudice than your traditional *gay* because they have to explain themselves to EVERYbody. to those of you who were BORN bisexual...just like i was born a raging lesbian, and yo mama was probably born that way too--and when i say "probably" i mean definitely cause we SO made out last night--i say to you...live your truth. oprah really started that. ooh speaking of oprah, i think oprah's bi. i used to think she was just a dyke. but now i think she swings both ways.

oprah does both jay and jane...they make her feel the same...

do you know who i am?? im janet muthafuckin jackson!

Janet Jackson...
isn't
could be
probably is...at least bisexual.

rumors have circulated for years. ive seen a little proof of it with my own eyes. but whatevs, it *doesnt really matter* because she's in a relationship with a dude right now and it seems to be going swimingly. and a lot of people might only really know about janet's right tittie (or was it the left?). but janet's been gayin' it up since before most of y'all were in diapers. why you were in diapers at 15, i'll never know!

*exhibit a*

this is a cover janet did of the Rod Stewart song "tonight's the night" (with scenes from the UK tv show "Bad Girls") where janet didn't change most of the lyrics...the song is about taking a woman's virginity. *cough*dyke*cough*

*exhibit b*

janet's song dedicated to her ex-oozeband after he tried to blackmail her for money. what was he going to use against her? a book he'd written that supposedly had the dates and names of women janet had slept with over the years. he's a "greedy motherfucker" (as the song says) for doing that...but uh...*cough*dyke*cough* AND it's with Missy too?? yeah...

*exhibit c*
Janet's song "Free Xone" is SO gay, if they ever made a video for it, Rupaul would be called in as a consultant to make sure it was straight-friendly.

*exhibit d*
there's an *interlude* on one of her albums that is her talking to her lesbian friend on the phone. janet is obviously masturbating to the sound of the girl's voice. that, my friends...is what? good...times. and bi the way, *cough*dyke*cough*

*exhibit lesbian*

this vid was made 14 years ago and its still hot. and im absolutely convinced that she wrote the lyrics about a chick. wishful thinking? mayhaps. but lets all wish together, shall we? oh, and check out the chick dressed in drag who's checking janet out during most of it. *cough*dyyyyke*cough*

"how many nights ive laid in bed excited over you
i've closed my eyes and thought of us a hundred different ways
i've gotten there so many times ive wondered how bout you
day and night
night and day
all ive got to say is
if i was your girl, oh the things i'd do to you,
i'd make you call out my name,
i'd ask who it belongs to...
allow me some time to play with your mind
and we'll get there again and again
close your eyes imagine my body undressed
take your time cause we've got all night
you on the rise as youre touching my thighs
and let me know what you like
if you like i'll go down...
i'll hold you in my hand and baby
you're smooth and shiny feels so good against my lips...sugar..."

uh huh. im just sayin.

i wish she were my girlfriend, girlfriend.

so check it: im a little obsessed with Persia White.

why? well, cause, i mean DAMN. look at her.














(www.PersiaWhite.com)

Persia is one of the 4 friend-girls on the tv show "Girlfriends." i never watched the show even though its been on for years. but a few weeks ago, i watched an episode on a saturday night...and got hooked. they have a little marathon of old episodes every saturday.

on the show, Persia plays the bisexual (yuuummm), kinda strange chick in the group. and in real life, shes in a freaky band. like...Jada Pinkett when she's not being straight, and doing her hardcore band thing, freaky. and its HOT.

i sooo appreciate the message in this ad for PETA, but i gotta admit, i watch the first 26 seconds of it over and over again cause shes...hot. you know?



im watching an episode of "Girlfriends" right now, and Persia just walked in the scene and said only these words: "Damn, can you believe my vibrator broke?"

im sitting in an apartment by myself, but i swear i said outloud, "DAMN." and started writing this blog:-)

here's Persia going all Angelina-post-2003 on your asses:

my ode to bisexuals

my shoutout to the bisexuals who read my blog. i know youre out there cause youre always bein' all bisexual and stuff...bisexually reading my blog. bisexually writing to me each day. bisexually asking me bisexual questions. i love you. and i think its time we all got together as brothers and sisters...united in the same cause. that of: DANCE.

so turn yo' speakers up and dance around the room. i dont care if youre at work, at home, at your bisexual daughter's restaurant, or under the covers, you gots to DANCE right now.

yes, even you lesbians can join in on this one. you there, straight boy in the corner, pull your pants up and dance. DANCE i said:


whew! havent had a chance to bust out my glow stick in SUCH a long time. thanks jay and jane!

she's wearing a tie and hat, in a bathtub. catch me, im falling.

why, oh why, oh lord, oh WHY, didnt i know about this before?


LOOK at them, you bastard? dont put your head down like you dont care?? have you no heart? have you no soul??

ahem...ok that clip is from a 2004 movie called "Head in the Clouds". and yes, thats Penelope fuckin' Cruz and Charlize fuckin' Theron kissing each other. oh MY. if youve seen this movie, please let me know if i should rent it. dont give me any spoilers...just uh...yay or nay on Netflixin' it this week. thanks!

oh and for everyone who has not seen it yet, here's a really well-done video. really makes me wanna see it even if there arent any more lezzy scenes!


the reason i came across this movie is cause very recently, Penelope Cruz has been having some fun denying lesbian rumors that she started:-) since she's so chummy with her best mate Selma Hayek, apparently its a huge front page story on every tabloid in Mexico that theyre a couple. mmm...

wait no...think about that. think about it...yes....everyone...close your eyes and return to the post in 30 seconds. i'll do the same...

mmmm....

butter...

she recently fueled her own bisexual rumors when someone in the press asked her who her best on-screen kiss was. she said it was Charlize! love it.

ok. the Selma/Penelope rumors are supposed to be false, but im just gonna hold on to the happy place in my heart that says theyve had many a pillow fight and shared many a cough drop during their friendship. ive recently had a MAJOR crush on Penelope. her accent...the way her mouth moves...her sense of humor...its all lovely. Penelope, call me. i'll have Mcphee put on a fresh pot of whipped cre...i mean coffee...and we'll fu...i mean...TALK...all night. just the 3 of us. er...4...of us. you bring your girlfriend too!

here she is on Ellen, from November...

strollin down mammary lane

(be sure to scroll down a bit and check out the links below!)

"Loving Annabelle" is *coming out* on DVD on December 12th. you can pre-order it on amazon.com or by clicking on the pic below to go to Wolfe. if you order from Wolfe, you get an extra booklet thingy with it.

<--click

you can also RENT it @ Netflix.com or your local uh...rental place:-)

i really enjoyed the movie. i thought it was filmed very well...and Gustine Fudickar's outcast/sidekick role was um...well im gonna use a word i never use: "superb."

here's a long trailer for the movie in case you haven't heard of it...(the song used during the second half of this clip is "My Skin" by Natalie Merchant.)


and here's another vid from the movie ive shown before...but i dont think you can ever have enough consensual lesbian church fondling, do you?


also, i hope that you'll click below on some of the post titles that catch your attention and check em out. some are old, some are new...but theyre all typed with love. and the more people who see em, the better i feel. come here and give me a lesbionic hug. (sorry if any of the vids dont work...i try to keep em updated, but you know...Mcphee's always: "do me now" this...and "do me harder" that. insatiable!)

rock out with your (strap-on) cock out!

mcdreamy? mcsteamy? no...mcphee-ee.

oh my sweet jesus!

One Life to Live with All My Children at General Hospital

"you either get on, or you get off" -tegan...or sara...

i just like it cause she says "titty bahs"

Save the gay cheerleader...save the world!

politically blonde

Baby, baby babaay...you dont know im gaaay

i'm moving to argentina.

Bring Dana Back...

Girlfight *hearts* Terminator 3

Dr. Condolezzy Rice

bone jour

"...cause you'll be gaggin' for more"

ass kickin vs tongue kissin

"you gonna do sex to me now, Bob?"

we need an all lesbian "Real World"

don't you know you look very beautiful now?

scarlett fetish...

you have the right...to become a lesbian!

oh my gosh, buffay

1,000,000 cameras...

if thats your boyfriend, "he" wasnt last night.

pretty swank.

"i could break you in two."

a 47 yr old bisexual ex-junkie prostitute con artist

if kelly kapowski was a dyke...

all i want

...these walls would say "good god, thats hot!"

say mercy

there are no words...(warning, vid starts automatically with moanin'!)

sadly she has a fear of public toplessness

The Incredibly True Adventures of Laurel Holloman as a baby dyke

damn, this bitch gets around!

Mischa Barton is like, so gay.

she's the gayest straight girl i know of

Darlene!

just to reach you...

Androgyny

the goth and the glamorous

boobs pressed against a fence...and other stuff

i got hos...in different area CODES!

and the touchin' leads to sex...and then there is no mystery left

I make the hole in your heart...a little bigger

because i sink eeeverybody, a little bit gay.

today's show has been brought to you by the word "pink": bringing you great nipples & music for years!

the movie of our dreams?

Cheerleaders, strippers and gypsies

a 47 yr old bisexual ex-junkie prostitute con artist

i'm not sure if this post qualifies as "lesbian" or "lesbian-friendly" from my description at the top of this site. after seeing Amy Sedaris on Letterman last year (she seems to be on his show 2-3 times per year), i thought she was a lesbian. then i read she used to date a guy who helped her create "Strangers with Candy". the character she plays in that tv show/movie spinoff is bisexual.

does anyone have definitive proof that Amy is too (or not)? if so, lemme know!

either way, she's funny as hell.

this is the trailor for the movie version of "Strangers with Candy"...still makes me laugh...


this is Amy on David Letterman earlier this year promoting the movie. she's so fun to watch...

Mischa Barton is like, so gay.

do any of you remember last season on "Grey's Anatomy" when there were HUGE rumors (confirmed BY the show!) that one of the female characters was going to be outed as bisexual? i think the money was on Sandra Oh at the time. what happened to that storyline?? i wonder if they'll ever mention it again or if it was just a *really* effective way of having me tune in every week;-) either way, im looking forward to the premiere tonight. and you better believe i'll be watching the Office right before it, and ER is interesting again so im there as well.

i read in Jenna Fischer's (the actress who plays Pam on The Office) myspace blog that she's going to a party tonight where Katharine Mcphee (the singer who plays my wife) will be getting the same award as she is. something like the top 15 fresh faces of the year or something. i wrote to her and asked if i could come along as her assistant. *sigh*

*end of sidenote*

so anyway, i was thinking about how Mischa Barton has a bit of a Lindsay Lohan/Paris
Hilton reputation for being a skinny, empty-headed party girl in Hollywood. but she's one of the very few young actresses around that has been associated with lesbian movie/t.v. plots. and not just once...but thrice. THRICE i say! so although i dont know who'd win in a "how to spell my own name" contest between Mischa and Nicole
Ritchie, i did want to give her props for this. she was lesbian-friendly before it was cool to be in Hollywood.

Exhibit A:

bein' there for her hot dykey friends in "Lost & Delirious"


Exhibit B:

tryin' it for herself with Evan Rachel Wood in "Once & Again"


Exhibit C:

she's all grow'd up now. there was a reason "The O.C." went to Mischa for this storyline. they'd seen the exhibits above.


Exhibit Q:

and here's a bonus one that sorta counts. they say this is from something called "Octane," but i think its just footage from Paris Hilton's last birthday party.

hey bitches, lets get this lady lovin' started

Karen, the bisexual:

this is a clip someone put together to showcase some of Karen Walker's gayest moments:-)