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Sunday, June 03, 2007

gay jay....

though i'm not a fan of Ray J.'s music, i am a fan of one hot lesbian lip-syncing his music to another hot lesbian...and then making out at the end. and filming it and letting me see it. 3 times.


(thank you to this chick <-- for sending in this clip!)

i have to go to an optometrist tomorrow to get more contacts. i'm thinking that while i'm in his waiting area, instead of flipping through People magazine or learning about the cornea, i'm going to pull up a chair right next to some lovely thang and start doing the same slick maneuver that was so elegantly demonstrated in the clip. i'll have to remember to bring my ipod and stop by 7-11 to get some of those little speakers they now sell there. i'll scope out the room...find a hot honey and then make my move. now the question is, what song to use?

i think the most appropriate song to play out of my recently purchased 7-11 ipod speakers at the optometrist's office to an unsuspecting, 30-something married mother of 2 would have to be........

"My Neck...My Back" <--

don't you think?

once i finish my 4 minute rendition of the song, complete with chair dancing and pussy poppin', i will drench the entire event in *class* (and *ass*, if you will) by suggesting that we hop on over to the Holiday Inn Select thats conveniently located across the street from the eye doc. we'll stop by the grocery store for some of that new warming K-Y thats sold next to tampons...pick up some wine in a box...and we'll be SET.

ladies, i think my LOOOONG drought will finally be over tomorrow.

ooh, but i better remember to actually get the contacts i went in for. hmm...someone text me to remind me?

10 comments:

The Promo Homo said...

Arlan, I can assure that KY is never a good idea. It's sticky and can cause a yeast infection because of its high glycerine content.

If you want a good one that has a temp. change thing going on, go for the durex cooling lubricant. It still has glycerine, but way less of it, and the cooling aspect makes the person more sensitive... makes for good times.

Like always I like to push a lubricant called Hydrosmooth... so I'll pass on the info to you as well as the other ladies on here...

Hydrosmooth has no glycerine so it never gets sticky, it's not a liquid or a gel so it feels more natural, it doesn't taste weird, it's not tested on animals, and it's moisturizing on top of it! H20 based, if that is important also. I'm not a fan of the silicone lubes... they feel icky to me. Just a personal preference of course. All of this is, but Ive gotten nothing but good feedback over the years working at shops.

The warming lubes seem to not go over well with most people... I've had a lot of customers tell me it they have a burning STD feeling during and after because of the heating aspect itself. Mmmmmmm... fun.

But yeah... steer clear of KY... it was originally intended for medical use (like OB/GYN exams), but they started marketing it as a personal lubricant for some ungodly reason. Some people swear by it, which I don't understand at all. I think it's because they are brand loyal and have never experimented with the others out there.

And... I'm done. Sorry about the rant. I just feel really strongly about lube if you can't tell. Ha.

CRYSTAL said...

am i high or is the chatter box gone? i was gonna brag about finding this video ;)

Jen said...

hahahahahaha
i would LOVE to see that happen
poor soccer mom...

btw, KY does make you more likely to have a yeast infection, but only if you are already prone to yeast infections. and i'm a big fan of the KY warming gel.

natalie said...

that video was amazing. :)

Anonymous said...

It's posts like this that make me fall for you more and more.

That song would be perfect to seduce the unsuspecting woman and fall right into your arms. :D:D

~a

Megs said...

lol..I hope your eye appointment went as well as you hoped and you met some sweet young thang ;)

Megs said...

So I hadn't watched the video yet when I posted the comment...DAYUM...I have my own private VIP performances too, since the woman I love (my roomie) is a drag king...that shit is soooo hot when it's directed entirely at you...and you could tell she was so about her girl :)

Anonymous said...

Damn Peaches (the femme being seduced) has really become an internet celebrity hasn't she? I'm not sure if they are still together but they were a huge thing on the gay community website >>>downelink.com<<<

Who doesn't have an account should get one. Its a great place to meet females. ;o)

Bianca said...

I own both of those chairs in the video. My question is, how could this happen in my house and I not be aware of it?

Jalisa said...

this video is sooo cute. I mean i sing to girls all the time (and i mean actually sing not lip sync) and they do generally react that way. So i advise everyone to do it.