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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

no lesbianism, pornography or marijuana? Jesus, what have you done??

hmmm...i don't think she's kidding, y'all:



ok...so my first reaction was to be upset with this chick. a little horrified (like "a little pregnant...")...and i felt sorry for her. but then i realized...there's someone else i need to point my frustrations at. and that someone is my homeboy, Jesus. so here's my open letter to Jesus (that im making up right now):

"DUDE. whats up man? um...i know a lot of people believe in you and turn to you in the best and worst of times in their lives. you're cool as hell. but uh...why'd you take all of ol' girl's GOOD shit away from her? perhaps its because you've never gone down on a woman before, so you didn't know what you were doing to this chick. but let me tell you, its GOOD times. i mean its like...the most fun ive ever had. and ive been to Disney World! (i've even been known to ride the monorail harder than any other bitch out there...from time to time ;-) @ jescas...cause you know, my friend jescas is reading my letter to Jesus)

as i was sayin...i got nothing but love for you or the idea of you bro, but tellin' that chick to give up women, porn and weed...was some shady ass shit. can i please escalate my call to your supervisor? cause i think you made a mistake.

go ahead and take the weed. the vision of you smokin weed on a cloud will make my drunken nights SO much more entertaining. and ya know, take the porn too, if you have a quota to fill. but for the love of...well...YO DADDY...give the woman back her love of pussy!

and while im still sittin' on your lap, i have one last request. please...never, ever...never-ever-ever-ever...take away my love for pussy either. if you ever did, id make a youtube video and id sing the chorus to that Leanne Rhimes song, "How Do I Live?" over and over again.

i won't take up any more of your time. i know you got things to do. by the way, GREAT job on Katharine Mcphee, Cat Deeley, Rachel Shelley and most of the women at L.A. PRIDE this weekend. you're really good at *women*. you should make more of them. ooh! and im sorry i couldn't get you on the list at The Lobby on Santa Monica Blvd Saturday night. it was mayhem. next time fo sho' though!"

30 comments:

Amanda said...

Ok, first of all I think it discredits her claims when she's looking off a script to the right of the camera half the time. And idk, I haven't been a lesbian for twenty years but I'd think you'd try to fit your lifestyle into Jesus and not the other way. Many gay people find a way for religion to work for them... why the need to go straight? I'm not religious but I know many gay people that are. So I don't really believe her... either she's fooling herself or she was never gay to begin with.

The Promo Homo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

she's kind of hot. do you think she has a sloppy vagina?

Anonymous said...

i love all the extra background noise. was that cars? lol. ridic.

ugh. stupid people make me sad...alas, she probably didn't taste good anyway.

Stacie said...

So I was feeling really shitty, but your letter totally cheered me up. You're my hero. :)

<3 this site

jescas said...

okay so i think that is a bunch of ish...but i have to say she had alot of hand movement...it shows just how well that bitch can use her hands...to bad we lost her. lol. jk. okay so yeah...she doesnt deserve to ride the monorail. or get a daisy duck lollipop...

she doesnt even deserve to have her name sewn into the back of the mickey mouse ears.... *shaking head*

Anonymous said...

BRAINWASHED or LIAR, OR BOTH!!!!!


your prejudice is your own, don't hide behind your stupid uninformed dogma.

Deanna said...

Ahhhh... I think I straight now.... no j/k I could never do that to you guys. F'ing ridiculous woman. And dont you guys worry... there is only one verse that actually puts homosexuality and even it has other problems "do not lay with men as you lay with women" but the context is of a son seeing his father naked or something of the sort of father/son. And Sodom... they wanted to rape the angels, thats why they were destroyed, it wasnt because they were gay. I am a religious lesbian, I pray daily, attend church weekly, and read the bible almost every other day, and I havent gotten lightning bolted down, so I think WE (the gay community) will be ok. No more woman loving, now that is just CRAZY!

Intensity said...

Well, obviously she has gone crazy. I bet she was thinking about boobs the entire time.

Anonymous said...

Jesus loves me and my homosexual desires. :)

Linds said...

All I can say... is this lady needs a spliff...

it'll help her calm down.

Anonymous said...

God loves us the way we are...... Just ask Her!!!!

:)

Dx

Anonymous said...

WHOOOOO said that gay people are living a "wrong" life... I can't stand people talking things like that, DAMN, if there is a God.... he (or SHE) loves EVERYONE who respects the people and who tries to be a "good" person, whatever that means, for me it means to be considerate, tolerant and all in all just don't hurt anybody else...
what is so bad about SEX???????
noooothing if it's what both want ;))

*S*

JaG said...

Isn't God a fat black lesbian woman?

This woman is SCARY!!

Jen said...

Regarding the Gay Day DL message: I just went to Gay Day at Six Flags Great America and I highly recommend it. So many beautiful people, diverse and beautiful and wonderful...
And as Margaret Cho says, if Jesus were around today, he'd say, "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT."

Anonymous said...

Wow. Do as you will but don't force it on others.
I am not religous by any standards but my (very) gay friend is and he prays daily, attends church weekly, etc.
One day we challenged his beliefs in that how can he love a religion that prohibits his lifestyle. And proudly he stated "Jesus loves me". We are proud of him and his decisions and hey, it IS possible to be religious and proud!
Again, CRAZY WOMAN!
~Michele

persona said...

haha, she says "homosexuality, pornography, marijuana, and alcohol" every 30 seconds, like if it were one of those commercials where they say the name of the brand all the time ! for me, it works like some sort of reverse psychology ;)

ps : i don't smoke weed, and i'm not really into porn. do you think i can keep alcohol and pussy ? ;D

TiffanyKeilani said...

that lady was really good at telling her message, but the only reason i sat thru the whole thing is because i'm stoned out of my mind and i still have weed in a tin between my boobs.

Anonymous said...

she's kinda hot! does anyone have her number!

Anonymous said...

im waiting for her just to pass out from not breathing and talking so dam much.... wow crazy people...

Michelle said...

How intolerant are we when we judge her? Don't get me wrong, I loves me some pussy and weed and alcohol, and I think she's a little far from sanity, but why are her views wrong? Just because they conflict with ours? Hey, I'm not saying it was easy for me (a lesbian woman) to watch that and not feel judgement, but maybe we let bygones be bygones!

MOE said...

OMG...YES, MY GOD! I LIVED MY COMIN OUT YEARS SO AFRAID OF GOD AND NOW, I LOVE HIM MORE THAN EVER CUZ HE GIVES ME HOPE, STRENTH AND COURAGE TO LIVE MY LIFE FULL OF LOVE, PRIDE, AND PEACE!

MY MOM IS PART OF A GROUP CALLED EXIDOS AND THIS KIND OF STUFF IS WHAT THEY DO! SHE IS ALWAYS MAILIN ME SH#T FROM THESE PPL! AT FIRST IT MADE ME SUICIDAL BUT OVER TIME I HAVE LEARNED TO JUST LET GO AND LET GOD DEAL WITH IT. IF SHE IS GOING TO SPEND ALL HER FREE TIME AND ENERGY TRYIN TO CHANGE WHO I AM THAT DON'T MEAN I GOT TO LIVE IN HELL! I'VE ALREADY HAD MY FAIR SHARE THANK YOU!

Adwoa said...

Michelle, I hear you. But folks who believe that homosexuality is the opposite of holiness get my goat.

I am glad this woman was delivered from the things in her life that she felt were wrong or bad but it seems to be that she just sublimated several addictions for another.

I don't believe that Jesus cares if we are gay or smoke weed or watch porn. Her pastor probably does though.

Phantom Lord said...

Yeah 9/11 was bad an all but I'm not about to give up porn and booze. See that's the good thing about being a Catholic. We have confession. If your sorry for your sins its a get out of jail free card. But after watching this, Jesus this chick needs a drink.

aisforalisha said...

damn.. because i totally would've hit it with her..

and i love how '9/11' only happened in ny. everywhere else, it just skipped to 9/12

oo. she just said bondage.

mmm.

Kapis.org said...

Jesus set this girl free from homosexuality. She is doing OK with her life now. She feels free! So why would you feel sorry for her? Do you envy her??

Autumn said...

she's need to be restrained to wall, while lots of big breasted women bounce up and down in front of her, then make out with each other then give each other head. she would return to her homosexual ways and tell jesus to except her the way she is, as an amazing pussy loving dyke. it's just unnatural to go back straight and frankly it scares me a little. ok so maybe alot.....

shanel said...

after watching this video and the second one she did as a part 2 i can say that i'm not longer angry i'm just sad for her. i'm sad and sorry she made the choice she did but i don't fault her. we (human) are all a reflection of our times. since i have the pleasure of being formed by the more recent decades i'm not as contaminated with such prejudices as she is.i didn't live through the stonewall era and the backlash of homophobia that she did, and i wasn't alive during the early days of AIDS and HIV when they were used to justify the "immorality" of homosexuality.

so i said all that to say that i'm damn proud to be gay and i'm so very sorry that the 60's 70's and early 80's robbed her of that same opportunity.

i didn't comment on the religious aspect for a reason. we all know (or should know) especially in light of the more recent issues in the news (*cough* war on terror my ss *cough*)that you can't win a war against religion,simply because you can't blow up or harm something that is not tangible. what a person believes(or doesn't believe)can not be physically altered, or touched and therefore is not tangible. so now I'm sitting here typing mourning the death of something she wont allow herself to feel

Amanda said...

I like how she focuses on homosexuality instead of the drugs, porn and alcohol that she was addicted to in attempt to make it look worse. Blah, annoying much?

Kae-Tee said...

I move to have Arlan seduce her....