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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Top 15 TV Characters Who Might as Well Have Been Lesbians

**I originally posted this list in February of '08 but I thought I'd bring it back**

What do you think of my list? I didn't include anyone from Charmed, Xena or Buffy cause the list would have been a mile long:-)

15. Wednesday Addams (The Addams Family)

Morbidly emo lesbian.

14. Clarissa Darling (Clarissa Explains it All)

She had a horny dude climb through her window each night and he never got ANY. Wonder why.

13. Kimmy Gibler (Full House)

Totally in love with DJ. No doubt in my mind.

12. Evie Garland (Out of this World)

Her super power involved pressing the tips of her fingers together to stop time. Uh huh. Dyke.

11.Murphy Brown

She had a baby on her own. SO GAY.

10 tie. Cagney and Lacey

They were totally doin' each other in that cop car.

9. Blossom

I bet Six' fast tongue wasn't that annoying all of the time.

8 tie. Kate & Allie

Domestic Partnership.

7. Grace Kelly (Grace Under Fire)

Beer-drinkin, wise-crackin' lesbian.

6. Daria (Daria)

Intelligent, brooding animated lesbian.

5. Olivia Benson (Law & Order: SVU)

DUH.

4. Darlene Connor (Roseanne)

Just DUH.

3. Denise Huxtable (The Cosby Show)

This is what I like to call wishful thinking.

By the way, damn:


2. Jo Polniaczek (The Facts of Life)

Blaire was her bottom bitch.

1. Punky Brewster

Pussy Punky Power!
...and by the way...damn:

69 comments:

Anonymous said...

You got all that I was thinking of ROFL!! def Jo and the girl from out of this world , think i crushed on both of them!!

Schnurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr said...

Umm...yes. Just yes.

you win.

the end.

Shmoo said...

I <3 Jo. Always have and always will.

kandy said...

i was thinkin of most of them too lol ok i love kimmy from full house
who dosnt love blossom
isnt darlene conner actualyl gay i heard i think lol i agree arlan damn to punky brewster hoott

kandy said...

my bad i mean solie moon fry

Anonymous said...

Eliza Dushku as Faith on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

So gay. C'mon Arlan.

Alyssa said...

I agree with everyone. I had a big crush on jo when I first saw the facts of life. tehee

Kate said...

Actually the original premise of Kate & Allie was that they were pretending to be Lesbians in order to afford their rent :P

I tried to find the youtube clip of it but it has been reomved :(

kandy said...

also for the eliza dushku coment . in the begning of bring it on lol very dyke those two bitchy girls called her one i think lol also hello Heather Matarazzo she played in princess diaries. the l word and know shes in exes & ohs

-sandra said...

you couldn't have been more on point! when i watched all these shows-all these girls were my girlfriends in my mind! yumm

Anonymous said...

i think you're missing alex mack from the secret world of alex mack played by larissa oleynik, i probably didn't spell that right.

Anonymous said...

i agree with everyone on this list, although i think sabrina from charlie's angels definitely should have been on it too

Anonymous said...

Personally.. I think Calleigh and Natalia from CSI: Miami should get together.
I mean.. they're both amazingly beautiful.. and between the two of them, they've probably slept their way through the entire Miami building *anyway*. So.. you know.. they should just go after each other. Makes for a good plot line.. and.. yeah.

Anonymous said...

Actually, Sara Gilbert who played Darlene on Rosanne is gay. =] but I think the character should have been too.

Bridget said...

I wish wish wish Jo from the facts of life was gay. God, I still watch that show when it's on just to see her! =] And DUH for Darlene... you are so right! =]

Just Cirroc said...

I would add Brenda Morgenstern, Sabrina Duncan and Endora

Amanda Johnson said...

Xena and Gabrielle from Xena (of course) are number one on my list. But heh, if you included EVERYONE from Xena the list would be a mile long. No need for Buffy, cause Callisto and all those Amazons would fill their spots like *that* ;-)

Just Cirroc said...

Oh....and how could we forget Letitia 'Buddy' Lawrence?

consonantvowel said...

OMG BLOSSOM AND CLARISSA. I miss those shows so so much and no one here outside of my family ever knows what i'm talking about if I mention Blossom. Her and the Cosbys were my reasons to turn on the tv. Oh man. And you opened my eyes with a lot of these tv characters, who now I look at it, are most definitely the gay.

A journey of sixty miles... said...

I'm so glad someone said Buddy Lawrence! I got on here just to add her to the list. Also, Sarah Sidle (CSI) is an obvious one. How about Dr. Lisa Cuddy (House)?

porselen kertenkele said...

Olivia do me!!!!
RESPECT.

And on Lisa Cuddy, yes please!

Liz said...

Kimmy was TOTALLY in love with DJ! Oh man, I love Kimmy.

Anonymous said...

Mariska Hargitay (oliva benson) hands down!!! I've had dreams that involved her... niiice dreams :D if i ever found out she was bisexual(for those of you who dont know she is married to a MAN and has a baby... what a shame...) I would so throw myself at her

mish said...

hahaha best blog ever!!!! and olivia benson mmmmmmmmm

Alaina said...

Wednesday Addams! Totally. well, as played by Christina Ricci. Wednesday was my girlfriend in middle school.

Kierstin said...

What, no Dana Scully?! Have you seen the woman shoot a gun?! :)

JJ said...

I agree on everyone that you have but There's only 3 other women I can think of that you don't have.....

1) Jordan Cavanaugh (don't remember her real name) from "Crossing Jordan"

2) Tia Texada playing Sgt Cruz from "Third Watch"

3) Lisa Vidal playing Sandy Lopez on "ER"

Robin said...

All of you who are drooling over Olivia may as well give it up. Mariska has been very adamant about neither her nor Olivia being gay. Too bad, cause I swear when that one DA was killed off (but not really) they played it like she and Olivia were too close for just friends.

'Kandy'- Heather Matarazzo is gay. I suppose that's got something to do with why she did The L Word, but couldn't swear to that. She's said how it was weird that when her character in "Dollhouse" was called a lesbian, she didn't know what it meant. Then a few years later...

Man, I must be gettin' old cause I don't know who half these chicks are. I did think Jo was gay though when that show was on. I also think Christina Ricci's Wednesday was more gay than the TV one.

Anonymous said...

olivia benson...DUH

i love it.

the list says it all!

Anonymous said...

I so Love Olivia Benson. It would be nice if Mariska Hargitay was really gay. A girl can dream.

Anonymous said...

i totally agree too on these!!! hey, how about kate on charlies angels???

Caitlin said...

So, denise and darlene ... you definitely got the two i've alwaysss suspected on the list =] made me feel better knowing it wasn't just me thinking so.
great list

random said...

My first every girl crush was on darlene. I couldn't understand why I loved the episodes that were about her so much. Yum.

ABE said...

haha you were so spot on arlan!


btw...punky...DEFINITELY grew up...well if I might add ;)

Anonymous said...

amazing!
though Olivia Benson would have been at the top of my list.
and Scully from x-files for sure.
just damn!

Anonymous said...

I loved Jo!!! And Dee (wisecracking sister) and Shirley (butch comedian) from "What's Happening?" would've been on my list! Black lesbians represent!

Lisa said...

Jo was just *so* gay. I still have such a crush on Nancy McKeon lol

A few additions I'd make:

Dana from Step by Step
Sabrina from Charlie's Angels
Sophia & Sara from CSI
KC & McMurphy from China Beach

Heather_Angel_23 said...

Ummmmm.....HELLO? What about Velma from Scooby Doo?

Anonymous said...

haha i love it.

Heather said...

I have to say I always wondered why I liked Jo...I kinda forgot about her in the years since childhood LOL

Great list.

kandy said...

ya i new she was gay im just putting her in there lol. i agree velma was totaly gay lol. isnt clea duval gay to?

myrajayne said...

i think the actress that played Blossom is a lez in real life.

kandy said...

i looked on wiki and blossom is married and has a child lol to bad

Amanda said...

Yeah, I had a little crush on Jo back in the day. Always thought Darlene came off as gay too. But I wish Calleigh Duquesne(sp?) from CSI Miami was on this list. She is yummmmmmm..........

Amanda said...

And I agree with JJ about Jordan Cavanaugh (played by Jill Hennesy who has a twin sister by the way). She's been in my fantasies too! Grrrrrr!

WOW! Women's World said...

Very clever...

Julie for WOW!

Shae said...

This might be my favorite post. thanks! I would add Daria from MTVs animated series. And I had a huge crush on Wednesday Adams when Christina Ricci played her in the 1990's one. As well as Marcia Brady in the 90's spoof of the Brady Bunch. Wow, we could all go on and on....

katie said...

Yes x1,000,000, especially to Olivia and Darlene. One addition I'd make is Max from "Picket Fences" but that might just be my fantasy...

ClosetPunkRockPrincess said...

the one about clarissa is classic! LOL!

Anonymous said...

Seriously people Busy from Ready or not during the 90s. SO GAY ^_^
Canadian <33

Great list Arlan.

Anonymous said...

The writers of SVU actually admitted to throwing a little hoyay in there to tease the fans between Alex and Olivia *sigh* I miss those days.

Megan said...

Im so glad you said Olivia Benson!! i just LOVE her!

cassie said...

i KNEW Olivia Benson was a lesbian!! plus she is totally hot :)

Anonymous said...

You forgot Agent Scully. Hello?!

Anonymous said...

omg.... Benson, and skully are my girls. i can never get enought of those to. muah to all of them.

Anonymous said...

OMG i love Olivia shes the only reason I watch SVU and SHES GOING UNDER COVER IN A WOMENS PRISON!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can we say lesbian sotory line???? Please??? oh and what about Willow from Buffy THEY HAD HER PLAY LESBIAN yay!!! that made my day!! God i love Red Heads

NikkiPants said...

On Family Guy, Jo comes out of the shower and goes "Mrs. Garret, is it okay if your penis touches your vagina?" and Mrs. Garret goes "You have booooooth?!" Classic.

Anonymous said...

I'd hav 2 add Samantha from "Who's the Boss" and her friend actress Leah Remini played. They were both cute, and still are hot today!

Sarah said...

Alex Mack from the Secret World of Alex Mack!

http://g.courtial.free.fr/Alex_Mack_Oleynick_wallpaper_fond_d_ecran.jpg

Anonymous said...

What about peppermint Patti and Lucy, bionic woman, janet from three's company, marcie darcy from married with children, jan and alice from the Brady bunch.... Thanks for the list. Lots of laughs

Anonymous said...

I've ALWAYS thought that about Kate & Allie!

Jenna said...

Bahahahaha I always thought Daria and Kimmy Gibler were dykes!

Brian said...

punky brewster and Denise huxtable are both HOT in real life!!!! did you know that Lisa Bonet has a myspace?

http://www.myspace.com/lisabonet_world

It says SHE LIVES IN SF!!!! I live in the bay area but have never seen her...I don't know what I would say to her if I met her since (1) she is breathtaking and (2) I am shy around all girls that are even remotely pretty to me.

lol :-)

Anonymous said...

haha i love this list!
I don't even know why they tried with Darlene.
David was one of the girliest guys ever too.

And as for Jo...c'mon people...

A. Smith said...

OMG that is so fantastic. No one ever knows what I'm talking about when I talk about "Out of this World"!

Again, you rock my world.

nerdmafia said...

okay, denise huxtable? you just know she "experimented" in college...i bet it really was A DIFFERENT WORLD!!!

Annabella said...

Some of your choices are a bit questionable but Jo, definetly Jo!! The facts of life used to be one of my favorite tv shows as a kid, and I remember thinking, "There's something different about her, I think she likes girls."

Darlene, I'm guessing you said duh, because in reality Sara Gilbert is a lesbian with a life parter and child. If you ever had a question though, you only had to watch Poison Ivy, you could just tell she throughly enjoyed the sexual tension between her and Drew Barrymore.

I would have added one more though,Rayanne from My So Called Life, she was completely jelous of Angela's obsession with Jared Leto's character ( I can't remember his character name)

I really enjoy your blog. I dig witty ladies.

annabella

nomimalone said...

more like Al from Step by Step

Heidi said...

LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY!!!

C'mon Arlan, I'm slightly disappointed you missed that one.