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Monday, March 24, 2008

Top 10 Reasons L Word Season 5, Episode 12 Was Like Diff'rent Strokes and Willy Wonka!

**Episode recaps start from the bottom and work their way up (just like someone else I know...) ;-) Scroll down to start from the beginning! If you'd like to see my Season 6 recaps, click here!


10. Jane Lynch and Holland Taylor in the same episode. Of course Holland gets more points for being My Lover Helena's mumsy. But they both always do a great job. And turns out that Holland was Willy Wonka all this time. Wouldn't that be a cool movie?

Mummy Peabody as Willy Wonka
Helena Peabody as Charlie
and introducing little Arlan Peabody as Grandpa Joe!



9. I got my baby back...baby back...baby back...



8. Twenty Questions. Well not literally 20. But I've just had some nagging questions for a while and I need to get them off of my chest. So here goes:

-What the hell is Adele's back story? Adele called herself a "Jonny Come Lately" in this episode (which, bi the way, is similar to my nickname: "Arlan Come Often"), but where did she come FROM? Ya know?

-Did the writers just walk over to the "Two and a Half Men" set one day and say, "We'll take two of your best"?

-Did that Terminator chick (Paige...for that one chick who reads my blog and HATES when I call her "that Terminator chick") do Shane a favor by burning her shit down in the first episode? Cause Shane really hasnt looked back. No more skater kids. Maybe all the guys that worked at Wax went on that playdate with Angelica?

-Now that we have Tibette, can we give em back?

-Y'all remember when they changed the set during the last couple of seasons of Diff'rent Strokes, and that Dixie Carter and her little boy Sam--who looked absolutely nothing like her--moved in? Yeah those were good times...

Hey I didn't say all the questions had to do with the show!

- Nikki is 20. And aren't Jenny and Shane like...in their 30s? They should know better. S'alls I'm sayin.

- When Phylis said "I don't know what's gotten into her (Molly)." Who else was screaming "Shane! Shane got all up in Molly!" at their screen? Anyone. Anyone? Bueller...

7. Max's two lines. Yep, I counted. He had two lines. Or does it count as just one since it was just the first line, then him repeating the first line? I sure hope Daniela doesn't get paid by the word. ;-)

6. I got my baby back...baby back...baby back...some more.


5. Three words: erect Shane nipple. Of course pronounced "nip-play" or "nip-pluh" depending on which part of my brain you're from. Topless Shane taking naked pics of Sleeping Molly while topless was kinda creepy but definitely hot. You know that book Angelina Jolie was in a few years ago called "Women Before 10am?" I'm thinking Shane should do a photography book called "Women I've Done Before 10am." Haha, that reminds me of something my BFF Sarah said to me yesterday on the phone: "You do more before noon than most people do all week." Same can be said of Shane...eh?

4. "Cal-Mart"? No they di-ent! Haha, come on y'all. You mean to tell me Alice couldn't get Tasha hired on to do security on her national TV show? Or how about being an Ourchart guard during the Max/Alice vlogs for the day Alice insults Max for no good reason one too many times and Max finally switches to the Hulk. Oh, but what's hotter than Cal-Mart security Tasha and military Tasha? Popo Tasha! That girl should have her own doll. And Shane's should come with a vibrating tongue and an extra vagina.

3. Hell hath no fury like a woman's "CORE". *sigh* Oh Jody. Or is it Jodi? Or is it...oh it doesn't really matter. Some ladies like to burn your shit (ahem, Terminator chick) and some ladies like to just create 100 thirty-foot screens and put your face on them in front of all your colleagues. The art piece was so good, I'm not even gonna ask questions about where she got the footage. Nope. Nuh uh. I refuse. If the writers and I are going to be drinking coffee (that I won't be pouring, thank you very much) during writers' meetings this summer, I gotta cut them some slack. Just a wee bit. Ya think?

2. "Kate French Kiss" or "A Low Down Flirty Shane." I couldnt decide!
Ok I know you guys probably missed this part, but Shane and Nikki were messin' around outside of the wrap party, right. Yeah you probably went on a potty break or to refresh the popcorn and Jack Daniels bucket you had floating around your watch party. But let me tell you...there was boobery GALORE...and gaWHORE. They um...well the sun went down on Shane, Shane went down on Nikki, and I went down to the floor cause I lost consciousness for about 45 seconds. What I'm saying is, it was almost as hot as EVERY DAMN DAY with me and Mcphee. S'alls I'm sayin. I would normally scream this at the top of my lungs...but given the sensitive nature of said sexuousity, I will just whisper this respectively, "thanks...Jenny's...left...boob..."

1. My lover, Helena. Let us take a moment to reflect on the beauty that graced our screens last night, shall we. Helena's back and it was confirmed last week that she will be back for the final season as well. And now that she's all frugal and shit, we can really hang. I'm gonna go get the car gassed up and ready for our trip to Target while you guys peep this clip with my lovers Helena and Cindi...oh and in case you're wondering, the 3 of us are quite happy together. Fanks.


I have big ideas for next season. Ilene, call me! We'll do lunch.

34 comments:

Jill said...

After this episode I actually did the what is thought to be impossible... feel sorry for Jenny.

I have lost basically all respect for Shane (hypocrite!).

This has left me wondering about Alice and Tasha... to break up or not to break up... that is the question!

I want to kill Adele. She's a female dog.

Yay! Tibette!

I didn't get Jodi's artwork. I just didn't get it.

Mish said...

I'm sad that I have to wait almost a year for more of these awesome L-Word countdown blogs :)

Anonymous said...

i totally agree with you jill! i hated jenny and now i feel so bad for her!! shane will have to do a lot for me to like her again, especially after not standing up for her self with phyliss!

kandy said...

when adele was making her speech i wish someone would sniper her lol. and i felt soo bad for jenny i like cried and when she said u broke my heart to shane does that mean shes loved her?

Anonymous said...

is anyone super happy lover cindi came over to the good side i new she would stick up to dd. i hope her and helena get together

shaevoyuer said...

This finale was not nearly as good as Season 4. For me though, the scene between Alice and her new crush could have been 75 percent of the show. Is that actress on for Season 6? Arlan please say yes. You have Helena and I have (forgot her name but that doesn't mean I don't luv her anyless!)

When I saw Max and his one line, I remembered he was on the show.

All of us in SF were wondering why they showed all the traffic and smog after seasons of peace. We all were about to move to LA for Tibettes love lounge by the pool until we couldn't breathe any longer.

Arlan, you should do Ourcharts Be scene re-enactment game at Dinah Shore, maybe that'll get you on the show.

kandy said...

ok did anyone see jennifer beals on dancing with the stars while marlee was performing. i screamed out haha im like ah its bette

lucidreamer said...

This finale was a huge let down. Yes there are couple "cliff" hangers, but not much to report really. The L is getting pretty damn predictable...you could see the flirting between Shane and Nikki in the shower scene during the Pink Ride. .shrug. You knew that Adele was gunning for the director's seat when you see her sit in the effing chair and say action. .shrug. You could tell that Max wasn't gonna get any play time because HE NEVER GOT ANY PLAY TIME!!! .triple shrug.

Also...funny you should mention footage that came from nowhere...you remember Jenny and Nikki's hot strap-on scene?! You remember how they filmed themselves with a stationary camera with no operator?!! And then do you also remember when flithy Adele showed said footage to Nikki's agents and the producers?! How it was all zooming in and taking shots from different angles?!!? Good lord, does The L Word even have editors, or is it just me?!!?

Ok...but really, the whole season felt a little......blah. I know, I know, don't start throwing organic veggies and soy products at me just yet. I just didn't really get excited by much this season and I feel a little sad that we only get, what was it, 8 episodes to wrap it all up!?! I'm just hoping they get a bit more creative with the last season.

Anonymous said...

Arlan sorry I missed you while you were in town. I totally suck! Next time you pop in to see your mom I'll be there with camera in hand. I agree that this season's finale was like trying to cum for a really long time and just having a wimper of an orgasm. In other words I was still very unfulfilled at the end. Hopefully next year the writing and the storylines will be better!

DiavoloJax
Houston, TX

Anonymous said...

ok i don't understand why shane is the bad guy in this whole situation....jenny was the one who was anti-nikky and refused to answer the phone or return messages. I think if anyones to blame it should be jenny....the world dosn't revolve around her. She blew off nikky...how was nikky to know that jenny changed her mind. and obvisouly shane thought it was over too.....I say jenny learn to make up your mind and the world dosn't wait for you.

kat said...

jenny and shane..would be lovely. it just makes sense! <3

Anonymous said...

I hate what the writers have done to Shane, I still love her I do I just hope for ONCE she will get to have a serious relationship that lasts.

kandy said...

i really hope shane and jenny get together they are perfrect for each other. ok adele and begonia i thought she hinted she like nikki

Anonymous said...

Not a great finale but all I care about is seeing Helena back looking hot as ever - maybe hotter than ever. I want to thank the Santa Ana winds or that helicopter for lifting Helena's shirt up to give us that teasing glimpse of her rockin abs.

ITA about Tibette - they've already begun to bore me.

Anonymous said...

Ok so this may not have been the best finale but they brought back MY lover Helena(sorry Arlen she was mine first) so I happy.

But I kinda hate what they did to Jenny, I know most people hate her but I've always respected Jenny. Her character has been through a lot of bs but she's always survived. And I don't even know what to say about Shane, Im completely speechless.

oh and YAY for TiBette!!

Im at a loss with Alice and Tasha, I mean I love Tasha I really do but I kinda like Alice's new love interest.

But the best scene of the whole episode was when Helena told off Dawn fuckin Denbo, Ive never been more turned on in my life =P

said...

i felt really bad at the end of the episode, cause Shane was always the character who was def a slut bag, but was also undeniably loyal to her friends. Seeing her break Jenny's heart like that broke mine a little and i usually remain unaffected after the L word. Especially because the show seems so drastically unrealistic.

and ....YO! bring back max u bastards! he's hot as hell and so fuckin sweet. Also i hope thw writer make Alice a little less annoying. she was erking my nerves this season... why was she such a bitch to max all of a sudden, and why was she totally willing to jeopardized people's trust safety to get a job. That's horrible, especially cause i was totally and Alice :)

dancerasa said...

IM sorry, I will probably get ripped a new one for this...but was I the ONLY person who thought this season sucked???

Holly said...

I don't care if what shane did was low down dirty n wrong. That was HOTT!!!! Besides... Jenny said Nikki was dead to her. She needs to make up her mind.

Where the hell DID Jodi get that footage of Bette? That was wrong. I never really liked her.

Yay Tibette!!!

N maybe I was the only one but I was soooo hoping someone would find Kit's gun n shoot Adele. Maybe thats morbid but something needs to be done.

Finally, why didn't Jenny take the chance she had and tell everyone what Adele did to her. So, she made a private nookie tape?! BIG DEAL!!! She didn't think her so called assistant would do that. Grow some balls Schecter

RobinES79 said...

SO, I do love Shane, but she is the bad guy because it is an unwritten rule that you don't sleep with you BFF's ex or current or whateva! It was just wrong and Shane knew it! When Jenny said you broke my heart and my heart broke! I don't think she loved Shane in that way, but loved her as a loyal, long time friend. Shane is the only one that was always there for Jenny! To be betrayed by a close friend hurts, in many ways, much worse than the betrayal of a lover! I believe this is what she meant..Shane broke Jenny's heart by betraying her trust, by not thinking before she acted on lust! I don't blame Shane, I have been in that situation and its hard to come out of it, I just think that she will have a hard time getting Jenny back! Shane is only human and stuff happens...she was trying to get over Molly and Nikki was trying to get over Jenny! I say...bring on next season and lets hope that the writers give Shane some class!!

Anonymous said...

well said ronines 70! well said!

Anonymous said...

Was it just me or was it weird that Jodie's art piece had words to it? Like, how did she know how to line up the sound and even what the heck the end result sounded like? - if someone helped her...was it really her piece and where did she get the film footage of Bette from? Besides aint she a sculptor anyway? I know, I know, it's just a show...but dang, these little things bug me sometimes :-)

Anonymous said...

I was wondering the same thing - where did Jodi get the footage? I think I kinda got it. Hell hath no fury... and Creepy. When Adele was making her speech, I was waiting for Jenny to fly thru the doors behind Adele and push her off that deck (did you see the drop?) and then I thought Nikki was going to end up over the edge of that railing when she was with Shane. SPLATT! Shane, Shane, Shane...what to do with you?? Hmmm, I have ideas....

Jill said...

I think that Jodi had Adele get the footage of Bette. It is the only plausible way at this point.

Anonymous said...

where DID jodie get the soundbytes? BUT, better yet, how did she HEAR them to put them together?!? and what about the fact that jodie is a sculpter, not a film artist person? VERY LAME.

love.pink said...

I agree with those who say Jenny and Shane should get together. Shenny! Arlan, you could make it happen while drinking your coffee in the writers meetings this summer. I usually feel sorry for Jenny but I was way too excited! Like, this is gettin good! And yeah where did Jodi get that footage of Bette? How humiliating! And Max could have had more than 2 lines. I didn't count. But I'm glad someone did! Lol.

I know this is long but I don't have any L Word friends! That's why I'm glad you post these blogs.

P-Land said...

A bit unrelated, but can I just say that I watched Dancing With the Stars last night, and after Marlee Matlin did her dance, they went to a shot of the audience, and Jennifer Beals was smiling and clapping and looking all hot. And I got all excited and was like "Ooooooh! Bette came out to see her girlfriend!!! Even though they're broken up and hate each other..." But still. It was sweet.

kandy said...

^^ lol i saw that to hehe i was look wooo bett is there haha. jenny shuda pushed adele of or adele should have been shot and fallin to her doom and i also thought niki would fall of the edge lol.

Cole said...

I don't feel like Shane was right to touch Nikki because that was Jenny's girlfriend and they never had the chance to tie up their lose ends. This isn't the first time Shane stole a girl from Jenny. She almost married Carmen. She was with Carmen too.

miss tia said...

Ok I totally agree with a lot of you who said you wanted Adele to be shot while she was giving her speech. I was thinking the same thing. It was the way they shot that scene, it looked like she was about to be assassinated or something. I hate Adele, she's such a biotch!

And Shane...love her, but I am so disappointed! What the hell was she thinking?! She got all fucked up because of what Phylis said to her. Dumbass! Poor Molly :(

I can't believe I actually feel sorry for Jenny. I totally hated her at the beginning of this season, but I am so sorry for what happen to her.

Yay Tibette!! They belong together, DUH!

Thank you to everyone who said, "Where the hell did Jody get that footage from?" I don't ever remember seeing her with a camera, do you?

So excited to see Helena, almost as excited as you Arlan...lol OMG! She is so hot! Loved seeing her totally get the lover Cindy, excuse me...Cindy Tucker, on her side. In yo face Denbo!!! That scene kicked ass!

It is time for Max to get some recognition. He totally needs to have a big story next season! Two lines...come on!

Anonymous said...

i dunno why everyone is hatin' on shane. she got a reality check on her ways by phylis. she tries to change her ways and realizes that it's not gonna happen, no matter how much she tries. nikki was just a slip up and happened to be the first chick that came along. everyone saw it! shane was doing the "seductive, but i don't really know i'm doing it look"...b/c i'm shane and i'm hot! the girls fall for it everytime! it's like when you have two people who are upset, having some drinks, they identify with each other, and bam...they're going it at. i hope this makes sense, but no one should be mad at shane. nikki and shane even made a toast to not giving a shit. it was a lapse and judgement which is easy to do when you're as implusive as shane!

jaceyyyy said...

Arghh. What the hell are the writers doing?! Gosh.

Shane and Jenny are like total BFFs. Making a move on Nikki is definitely not something Shane would do. What the hellllll.

Poor Jenny. The final season better be good to her.

Anonymous said...

I think Jodi came that last time to Bette, just to make the footage. She spent all day with her, so maybe Jodi had a hidden camera or something. I think Jodi planned to do the footage, that's why she came to Bette on that day.

ariesdiva said...

The whole Jodi putting Bette out there like that was completely unneccesary, but expected, and where did she get all those sound bites from? I too felt sorry for Jenny's sorry ass. If Alice continues to dog Tasha we are going to have some serious problems. Tasha is my Helena Arlan!!!! Welcome back Helena...hot you are! Go Tibette!!!

Sheila said...

I just recently found your top 10 reasons after each L word episode, and I die laughing every Monday morning.

How long have you been doing this and is there any way to go back through the archives and read past top 10 reasons?