I just wanted to write to you today to get some feedback from you, and possibly others, about and issue I have that has to do somewhat with a previous post on the Daily Lesbian Blog.
When I first saw the bulletin from you on my myspace that there would be a new show about lesbians on LOGO (Gimme Sugar), I was thrilled. I feel that there are not enough shows that represent us in a positive manor. But what really made me happy was that you were mostly discussing Alex, and that you started the post by saying that "bisexuals will be positively represented" in the show because of her. Since I saw the show, I whole-heartedly agree with you. I don't think there could be a better example of bisexual women. Alex is definitely a role model. She is smart and driven (not to mention beautiful). So when I finally got to see the show for the first time, I wasn't surprised, however I was disappointed. Not in Alex or your confidence in her to portray bisexual women in a positive light. What I was frustrated with was the fact that the other characters and the show itself were making her out to be this "bad guy" because of her bisexuality. During the episode, Alex goes on a date with a man. Before he arrives she is texting the other ladies, who have less than kind things to say about it. I believe one girl says "tell her I hope she chokes on his balls." That is so biggoted and completely unacceptable. This kind of prejudice continues throughout the rest of the episode and ends with the ladies at a table and everyone is fighting with Alex.
This situation happens all the time. I don't think I can be around lesbians without hearing some form of biphobia. Personally, I don't understand how as a minority group, we can be so hateful. Bisexual women are just like lesbians; we fight for the same cause as you. However, it is difficult to do so when we are discluded for the sole reason that we date men as well. Now Arlan, I feel that you have always been great when it comes to this issue. I've seen biphobic comments posted on your blog many times, and you have always defended bisexuality. I thank you for that. But it would mean a lot to me to hear what you (and maybe others) think about the episode and this issue.
Thank you so much and keep up the wonderful work that you do!
Hi there. Yes, I agree with you. Here's the video intro of Alex that this reader was referring to. This was online before the first episode aired and is what I based my "bisexuals will be well-represented..." statement on:
Alex is a good friend of mine, and I care about her a LOT. I've watched her deal with being openly bisexual in this town (l.a.) and it hasn't always been easy. The only way I can see things happening with the show, is that the girls (who are her friends in real life) said some statements joking around, and then it was later edited to look even worse. Of course they had to have the statements there to edit them to begin with, but they recorded for 2 months, and had to make a few 30 minute episodes out of each. So some things were lost in translation.
I will always stand up for the rights and respectful treatment of bisexual women. Just as I stand up for women who are lesbian, queer, not-so-straight, dont-know-what and STRAIGHT. I don't think it's right to say "ew, that's gross" when your female friend says they're going on a date with a guy. I mean, unless the guy himself is gross. Cause if he sucks or somethin, that's a whole different story. But just based on the fact that he's male? That's ridiculous, hypocritical and offensive.
I'm going to also defend the other girls. As queer women, Charlene, Robin, Davonee and Bathilda have all had to deal with bigotry from other people about their sexuality. I'm sure they've had to deal with bigotry at some point because of their race, or because of their association with a race. Or because of their clothes, their haircut, their jobs, their friends...SOMETHING. So I know they probably would hate to be thought of as prejudiced against someone else, for something that is natural to her (Alex).
I have a unique situation where I know everyone in the show, but I am able to look at it and be unbiased. I'll only give my true opinions here, and I'm going to invite all 5 of the girls to come to this post and read your comments and maybe post their own. So please be respectful, but have your say! :-)
I would love to get into a discussion with the girls of the show and everyone reading this to also delve deeper into why you think there is that bisexual hating going around. I have a few ideas...