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Monday, August 17, 2009

Reader Advice: Bye Bye Shy

I get dozens of messages every day. It's amazingly flattering that a lot of them are from people seeking advice. Sometimes I know the answer, and sometimes I don't. I know from getting to know you guys over the past 3 years that you all have LOTS of wisdom and experience (and laughs) to offer, so I figured I'd post a few of the questions on my blog from time to time for you to answer. The people will remain anonymous if they want, but will be reading your responses. So check this one out:

Hey! Just like 2 say, i love your blog! i know this is really random but i need some advice. i am gettin with a new girl, but i have a problem with gettin close to women that i like. when i am on my own with her, i try talking to my friends about it, but they dont quite understand, so i have no one 2 talk 2. Every time she comes round, i have a habit of clammin up, i mean i put on films, we cuddle but i come out with daft and crap stuff, i need sum help in being confident.

-Chick in the UK

Oh I even love READING the British speak:-)

What's your advice guys?

*If you need advice and would like for me to post your question, send me a message on and indicate that you'd like for it to be a public question. The ladies will do the rest:-) And by "ladies," I mean my readers...not my boobs. Although the right one DOES have a degree in Psychology.


DJ Sir Lena said...

you gotta get over that girlfriend. you only live once. if you think she has an ounce of interest in you, then make your feelings known. be upfront and flatter her a LOT. just say, I think you are hot and I want to get closer and it's driving me crazy thinking bout you all the time. ask her what she likes sexually and if you like it too, tell her! shit, if you can cuddle, you should be able to be candid with her and talk about "next steps". ask her if "next steps" are even possible? if you don't ask, you will never know. oh, make sure you tell her you enjoy the cuddling a lot so that if it doesn't work out, you still get to cuddle. LOL

Sara said...

I totally know where you are coming from on this. I was the same way with the girlfriend that I have now. I had the hardest time telling her anything! I basically took it to a level of talking to her without being face to face. I told her I was shy and had somethings I wanted to tell her and asked if it would be okay if i told her in a letter, or in emails or possibly even in im or text messages. This may not work with every girl, after all most want to hear it straight from the person. The thing about telling a person when not face to face, is that it gives you the courage to tell them when you see them. You already know that they like you, cause they answered you back. Now, I am not saying this will work but its a start. You could also start by doing little things for her, flowers, cards, or find something that she likes and expand from there. It will make what you cant say rather appearant. Just remember they don't have to be the most expensive gifts, they just have to mean something to you so they will mean something to her as well. I hope this helps.

Serra Sappho said...

Hey there!

Conquering shyness was something that took me a long time to do. My advice, to take a page from Nike, is to just do it. For example, I wanted a new haircut for months and months...So I just walked into the beauty salon and told them to cut it all off. They did. I felt adventurous and wonderful. Start with little things, like getting something new off the menu at a restaurant and work your way up to big things. Take your time, and always remember to have fun. Chicks dig spontaneity.

Lydia said...

Thank you all.x I did do some of that stuff. it worked a little bit. So thank you!