Scandalous Photos of Me and My Wife Katharine Mcphee

When Katharine Mcphee heard that I was considering divorcing her in order to make room for the very fetching (and lets face it: British version of her) Joss Stone, she knew she had to take action. It took a few weeks for her to take this action because she was a little busy promoting her new album, chopping her hair off and dying it blonde, and being generally sexy and awesome. And take it from someone who's had to do all 3 of those things, it is NO easy feat!

Until now, I've refused to share photographs of me and my wife publicly. She's begged and pleaded, "Ar-bar-- (she calls me "Ar-bar," you see)..."Ar-bar," she'll say, "I want the world to know about our love and our lovemaking. Not just your video camera." Then inevitably she breaks into song, which I don't mind at all. If I could sing like her, I'd sing all day. Just like if I looked like her naked, I'd be naked all day. She usually sings "Come to My Window" by Melissa Etheridge or "Your Secret Love" by Luther Vandross.

Anyhoo! Last Wednesday while I was at Hollywood & Highland in L.A. for a GIRLTRASH movie meeting with my fellow P.A.'s, Mcphee put her plan into motion. What better way to keep me tethered to her than to set up an elaborate role playing exercise involving a faux ice-cream truck apparatus, lots of extras, a CD promo giveaway, and a charity. The charity was the icing on the cake. She really went all out, that one.

And now, I give you said sex play, in photographs. Please note that in some of these pictures, I may look like this is the first time I'm meeting her after being in love for more than 3 years. It may appear that I had no idea she was going to be there, and that when I found out, I jumped up and down like a schoolgirl. All part of the master plan, my friends.:

This icecream truck is costing me $150/hr. I hope Arlan gets here soon, so I can, ya know, DO HER, in it.

Look lady, I get that you're a fan and I'm posted up in this here icecream truck looking like I'm ready to give out autographs to anyone who passes by, but I'm waiting on my wife, and if you eff this up for me, I'm clotheslining you.

...you're still here? You obviously have never kissed Arlan before. If you had, you'd understand how badly I need for you to scram and make room for her. I swear I'm *THIS* close to wacking you one.

Alright, FINE. You've got some nerve.

This is the part where, even though I normally look like Rose Rollins, I decide instead to wear a grubby beanie, my skin decides to play tricks on me, and then something about the Hollywood/Highland area makes me look like some sort of carnie. I see my beloved in the crowd....

Arlan? Is that you? You normally look like Rose Rollins and right now you look like Rose Rollins' broke cousin. But I still love you. Will you make sweet beanie love to me in this charity ice cream truck?

Yes it's me. Wait though, this chick is taking a picture. Let me try to look as fucked up as humanly possible. .....Ok cool...the answer is yes, yes I will. Do you have fudgecicles back there?

In this promo cd you've manufactured, there's a key to a room at the Roosevelt hotel. Autograph it for me, so this all looks legit, and then meet me there in half an hour. No wait, I'll need at least half an hour to convince them that I'm not Rose Rollins' broke cousin. So make it an hour. Wear that thing I like.

"Which one?" - Mcphee
*Head tilt*...*beat*
"...my body." - Me
*Camera snap.*
....and...scene!

All photos (except this one) taken by:

Sky!

My life as a P.A. on the set of the new GIRLTRASH movie...

Life is SO strange and unpredictable. For the past 3+ weeks, I've been working as a production assistant on the set of the new feature film GIRLTRASH: All Night Long. I got the gig so that I could learn about the movie making process in general since I knew zip about it before, and so that I could let you guys know about the progress of the movie. It has been an awesome/amazing/ridiculously cool (AND EXHAUSTING--did someone say 14-hour work days nights??) experience. We're taking a break in filming right now and will return in January to finish.

The movie stars Lisa Rieffel, Michelle Lombardo, Mandy Musgrave, Gabby Christian, Rose Rollins, Clementine Ford, Kate French and more! Check out this message from Lisa & Michelle that we recorded exclusively for YOU guys! They're dressed (and Michelle's hair is in a fauxhawk) for a secret scene in the movie...crazy huh:-)

I just want to go on record right now as being the first to officially announce the birth of a new lesbian-icon in Michelle Lombardo's "Tyler" character. I can't wait for you guys to see this movie for SO many reasons, including Michelle's complete transition from Sports Illustrated model/Californication's "surfer girl" to a chick that could easily go toe-to-toe with SHANE in a group of girls any day of the week. Mark my words you guys, Michelle Lombardo WILL BE your new lady-crush. For realz.

And check out this footage of Gabrielle and Mandy recording with Lisa Rieffel for their MUSICAL scenes! Angela Robinson (aka The L Word's best writer/director...duh) and Alex Kondracke (GIRLTRASH film's director!) are also in the cut:

Not sure what GIRLTRASH! is? No prob. Take off your top and check out some of my older posts. I mean, you can keep your top on, but you'll learn more if its off. S'alls I'm sayin. My Ebert & Roeper (sorta)-type review on AOL's Gay & Lesbian blog Queersighted

POWER UP, meet Girltrash!

Seems that I've mentioned GIRLTRASH on this site 55 times in the past 3 or so years. Click HERE to see the list, yo. And while your top is still (hopefully) off, read more about my Angela Robinson-love:

Click for all of my Top 10 L Word lists from Season 5!

Click for all of my Top 10 L Word lists from Season 6!

Juicy...

You kids remember that one time a few months ago when I disappeared for about a month and the top post on my site was a casting call for my friend Jincey's new lesbian porn? And though you were sad/confused as to where I'd gone, you secretly were sorta ok with me never returning, since the words "lesbian" and "porn" would be moved down a post if I ever did? Yeah...I remember that too.


So check this out: After months and months of casting, pre-production, planning, writing, hiring, and slathering, Jincey's "JuicyPinkBox" has debuted! She was kind enough to grant me an EXCLUSIVE (seriously, yall) video to share with you guys. I gotta be honest: when I first watched it, I got goosebumps.


(I think you have to have flash installed to view this)


There's something really special happening here, and I can't wait to see how Jincey turns us on next. CLICK HERE to see more and support Jincey's (fucking sexy) movement:-)