...and i wish i could help you acheive that, Ciara.

you guys know how i like the play the game "DYKE!" right? if you dont know about my homohomegrown game, i'll explain it. i normally do this at Target. i walk around. i look for families with girls in them at any age...and if i see a girl or a woman who i think is gay, i yell internally, "DYKE!" its fun times. and you can do it anywhere really. try it. oh and the best part is, no matter how much you play, where you play, or who plays with you, everyone...always...wins.

i get really excited when music award shows are on--especially the Vibe Awards or the BET (ahem) Awards. cause i know i'll get to see Ciara, and i know i'll get to scream out DYKE! in the comfort of my own home. she always makes it much easier for me too when she decides to accept an award hand and hand with her "friendgirl" Missy Elliot.

it was real cute how she was engaged to that lil' bark bark for a few minutes. if youre going to have a fake boyfriend, might as well have him look all smooth and shiny like a girl. i could stare into his eyes for days. aaw, little bark bark. but that shits over now so she has plenty of room to come out of the closet. i think...this video of hers...just might be...the best r&b video ive ever seen. it probably isnt. but im so excited about it...that it is...right now.

thanks SO MUCH to this chick<--- for letting me know about this vid!


ok so this is what im thinkin...and y'all tell me if i this is a good idea. so like...sometime around June-ish, Ciara finally comes out of the closet, right. and when she does...who falls out of it behind her, but Ms. Alicia Keys. who ive been sayin is a dyke since the beginning of time. (who saw her in Smokin' Aces? i didnt get to catch it. was she good as a lesbian?)

so Ciara and Alicia Keys become the new music power couple. sure, their cd sales might fall a wee bit in certain markets...but in others (like my bedroom), they'd soar. everything would be ok...and they could *live their own truth*. i could handle their press (and their breasts)...ya know, whatever i could do to make that closet exit safe and comfortable for the two of em.

then other bitches could follow, right. i wonder what kind of a lesbian lova they'd be....*wayne and garth dream waves*

norah jones- im thinking she'd provide lovely, sultry phone calls. she'd give Ciara and Alicia the BEST mix tapes and deliver them with homemade cookies. but in person (live, if you will) she might bore them to tears.

amy lee- she'd wake them up inside. alicia and amy lee could do some crazy shit on the piano while ciara danced on top of it. you dig? only problem is, some boring ass dude might show up at the end, do 30 seconds worth of boring ass work, and get most of the credit.

fiona apple- she would be a magical lover. a kinda confusing and scary lover, but also really hot and talented. then she'd disappear for years. but when she came back, she'd give them the best sex of their lives. then disappear again.

lauryn hill- when fiona was gone, lauryn hill would magically pop up in the middle of Brooklyn, (and yes, her appearance would be immediately proceeded by her singing out like a kid "ready or nooot...") she'd make Ciara and Alicia fall deeply in love with her all over again, give a few crazy ass interviews, then disappear. oh, and her hair would be a mess and would be covered by two or three hats. but damn she'd know how to work her fingertips on the small of their backs...

then at the end, all of them would get together for the best return of Lilith Fair one could ever hope for...