this one's really quick...but i thought it was interesting.
it made me wonder how many women who are married to men read my blog...and are hiding the fact that they're attracted to other women. or how many have actually left their husbands/longterm boyfriends for women. ive received messages from a few...but i would imagine they represent a lot more who are hiding in the shadows...
i dont wanna get all *Oprahs Gay Wives* on ya...but i thought id just put the question out there...
6 comments:
Oh yes, there are some of us lurking in the shadows still. We do come out every now and again in secret to test the water, but then we run right back to the comfort of what we know. I don't know why and I am still trying to figure it all out. I do love men, but there is just something about women that is so unlike anything I have felt before and it's kind of scary. Especially when you have kids and are in your 30's, it's hard to digest and figure it all out.
My aunt's wife was married to a man for 20 years or something and she has 3 kids with him. They only seperated about 5 years ago, when their youngest was 5. I can't imagine what it must have been like for her. I'd go crazy!
This is new to me. Now seperated from my husband, I have finally admitted (to myself) that I am more attracted to women. What to do from here? Is it curiosity or the real thing?
I just went to Pride in Portland, OR this past weekend and ended up hanging out with a bunch of lesbians after Storm Large's show. We went to a gay bar and I hung out with them all night. I've been kind of curious for a while, but being there felt kinda right. I don't know what I am going to do.....there's more to it than just who I am attracted to. I am not in a relationship with a man right now, but have been in the past. It's so damn confusing, especially since I am in my early 30's.
There really are more married women out there who have a hard time leaving their comfort zone. I myself am not one but for awhile I had an affair with a married woman who has a a child with her husband and is "happily" married. In all truth it was a sad situation but for sure there must be more women out there in situations like that.
I do occasionally stop by here to read.
I have *very* recently ended my relationship with a man I loved dearly, and tragically, still do, because I couldn't take it anymore, and I had to finally come out. We still live together for now, and it's terribly hard, because we're best friends, love each other, but have this to deal with. He's amazingly understanding and supportive, but of course, there are those hard times, as one would expect, when it hurts so much.
I think for most women, there are *extremely* heavy feelings of guilt that hold them back. It's what held me back most of the time.
But I am ready to start living honestly now. I will admit, it's hard at times, for someone who spent her whole life trying to convince herself that she's straight. But I'm moving to Seattle in a couple of months! And there, I hope to begin this new chapter of my life with an open sense of freedom and honesty like I've never done before.
*And I have a date tomorrow night!* =)
Of course, so many times I labor over the feelings of beating myself up for not having simply been honest with myself so long ago. Sometimes I think I'd give anything to go back in time and change that. But I have no regrets: I am where I am today because of everything I have done, mistakes included, and overall, I'm happy with my life. I'm even happier that I had the courage to finally do what is genuinely right for me.
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