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Monday, February 11, 2008

Top 10 Reasons L Word Season 5, Episode 6 Was "a Hotbed of Lesbian Sex Salaciousness"

10. Adele combed her hair!


9. You RAT FUCK! We learned 2 important things this episode: A. Bette's kid isn't as genius as her mother (she called a group of rats "puppy.") And B. Whenever Kit has somethin' good goin, the writers yank that shit out of her (and our) hands. What happened to Kit's album, y'all? They worked so hard on it (yes, I did say "hard on") and then nothin'. Where's her hit song with Snoop? Where's Mangus? Where's Ivan? Where's PAPI? When will it end Ilene? When will it end??

8. It's a tie between that one dude... (an extra playing a crew member) on the set of Jenny's movie in the khakis who just walked from one side of the scene to the other several times, and Jenny's use of the word "apparati" in the opening scene. Both subtle, yet awesome in their own way. Juno-kudos.

7. Shane is a hairdresser. I keep forgetting that!
Now mind you they've shown her work on a few dozen heads over the years and I've still yet to see her do anything to the actual hair, BUT...it's Shane so she can get away with that. And in this episode, besides the amazing work she did on Adele, she really earned her pay while working on Alice's hair. Come on you guys, it's hard to gently stroke a ponytail. "Own that ponytail. WORK that updo!"


6. Debby Bimbo or whatever the fuck her name is. "What can't you do, Shane? Other than make my girlfriend come." I love this chick. No idea who she is but I love her. Hope she's in every episode Demboing it up.

5. When I grow up, I wanna be Jane Lynch.

There's not one second of screen time she has on the L Word or on the plethora of movies she's been in that have been wasted or anything short of genius. She's also #5 on my list because she said: "Phylis you hired me to represent you. And then you fired me so we could make sweet love...and then you broke my heart."

4. Kate French is still wicked hot. She just really is. And I bet she does an awesome British accent. Mmmmm... (BRING BACK HELENA YOU BASTARDS...ahem) Keep being hot, Kate. And keep doin' Jenny in all sorts of locations. If you want, you can hire me to be the location scout for where you wanna *do it* with Jenny. I've already got a place in mind. *eyebrow raised* ...and it's called, my pants.


3. Ilene showed up and showed off. We got lots of fancy camera angles and shots during this episode because of Ms. Ilene, who wrote and directed. I know I like to give her a good ribbing (ahem) every now and then, but I really love the way she shot this episode. You could tell that the show was in the loving hands of the person who gave birth to it years ago.

2. Bettina doin it. Hard. And a lot. I've lost track of where Tina lives now or how many kitchens Bette has or if Jodi even has a home. But Ilene handled the love scenes between Tina and Bette with a satin glove. If it weren't for that one dude and his bass voice sayin "doin it" or whatever all during the first of the two scenes, it would be #1 on my list.

1. Jenny. Hard. I know this is controversial. Some of you will say that Bettina/Tibette should be #1. But I would have been fine if the episode consisted of the first 3 minutes alone. I've said it before and I'll say it again (cause she's proving it over and over again) Mia Kirshner is playing the HELL out of this role. Someone send her tape in to the frickin' award shows already. Every line, every hand dismissal, every gum smack...deserves a: THANKS...JENNY's...LEFT BOOB!


Question: Who else thinks Max and Alice are gonna do it?

38 comments:

mdonnasmum2 said...

you kno i really dont think alice and max are gonna hook up i just dont see it im voting for max and the translator to get together and get really serious about it i think max really deserves a serious relationship at this point but i am at least glad hes got grace to go to and shane well i just always love shane but the she bar bitch is pissing me off cuz it was her girlfriend who started the prob and is getting off scott free shane was actually thinking about what she was doing for once and for me that just gives her more kudos

Jaci Layne said...

max and alice? really. I dont see that. but its a possibility. Alice is just so bubbly and blonde, i dont see them ever having a relationship, but MAYBE hooking up. i agree with mdonnasmum2 about max and the translator.. or even max and jodi just get jodi off of bette, and bette and tina together. and i love shane. and its not her problem, i hate the she-bar girl who just jumps in and thinks shes amazing. damnit.

Sarah said...

jane lynch is one of my favorite people ever. i'm so glad she's on this show. but she should be on every show ever really.

let's see...i totally thought of you when the kid went "PUPPIES!!!" and almost called you.

aaand you're completely right, i love jenny. mia whatsername is a genius in the right role.

oh and yeah, where IS jodi when bette is off having all that sex and going to parties and who watches that child when her parents are having an affair and you know what, why did they have to make tasha and alice break up right when i started finding tasha hot? also, WHO did not see the single white female thing coming with jenny's crazy assistant? and there's not enough max. they just like have her come in and say a couple of words every once in a while now.

xLove.Pinkx said...

Ok did u see Alice's face when she said "Those aren't fuckin puppies" LOL that was hilarious. And Adele is really cute with the new hair. And I want to see more Jenny and Nikki action! And I want Max to hook up wih someone. There's not enough of him/her. And Shane's hair is such a mess but yes she can pull it off!

Angie said...

For some reason i'm thinking Max and Adele are gonna hook up.

And I love Dawn Denbo, she's so high school and it cracks me up.

Anonymous said...

i personally want alice and tosha to stay together! i can't stand Dawn Denbo - she's annoying. shane can do no wrong in my book (of course i have a crush on her, but then who doesn't).

Dee said...

Um, Number one reason in my book?!?! (ha, so biased)
but my GF was on this episode and was part of Dawn Denbos Hot Bitch Brigade to shut down the production, and then sold 'em out! Ha, LUV IT! <3

Anonymous said...

"rat fuck"-classic alice line, and her reaction, hysterical-almost as hysterical as her playing bball against papi and them last season...almost.
i totally wondered out loud to my gf who was watching algelica when mom and mom were doing the nasty-and oh how i have missed them as "them". bette is ridiculous hot-ESP when getting fucked
i could see max and adele before max and alice-alice seems very annoyed by max a lot of the time. but max is feeling the same weird vibe i am from adele- i am waiting to figure out wtf is up w/ that chick

Nai said...

i totally agree with u on the #1!!! Mia kicks butt and the opening of this episode so made my day. Not only do i want Mia to win some awards but i want to do her in the worst way lol. btw what is going on with Adele?!?!?! and i miss Helena too :(

Britt said...

Ew Alice and Max, Goddess no!

And Adele just seems a little fucking crazy to me!

KC said...

the answer to number 6...

her name is Dawn Denbo and Elizabeth Keener in real life. and i personally like her. shes hot as hell and looks like my girl Gina Gershon ( from Bound and Prey For Rock and Roll )

Coni said...

Arlan, Thank you soo much for meeting me yesterday. It was fun! you are much more cooler in person than on the net, if that is even possible. Oh and I gotta say that Bettina, and Jenny should just tie for #1.

Jessie in IA said...

OMG! Max and Alice? No way. Can't happen. Adele is something else... I'm with Max, there is definitely something wrong with that girl. Torn on the whole BetTina thing... While I loved them together, I actually really like Jodi (Helps that I think Ms. Matlyn is H O T!)While I think that Mia is cute, I HATE her character. Always have. Her little story escapades in the first few seasons and now "lil-miss-I-rule-the-world" routine makes me wanna sock her everytime she comes into camera view. I don't see how none of the other characters hasn't told her off yet. (Shane being the only one excused from that) And little Ms. Denbo... can't wait for her to go under. You know she will, no way will she become a regular. I bet Alice takes her out with that talk show she was been optioned for. That'd be SWEET!

mdonnasmum2 said...

i wanna see shane kick the gf of the crazy bitches ass for being the cause of it all but shane is amazing i kno shell kleep her cool while getting revenge but still her in a fight scene would still be hott kate moennig can pull off nething

Jen said...

Dude! KC is right - Dumbo does look like Gina Gershon. I've been trying to figure out who she reminded me of.

ITA with your top ten - might move a few numbers around though, but nice summary:)

Just posted my own recap on my blog too
http://awakenings.blogsome.com

j.

Sagplayer said...

Thank God someone finally has the same questions as me. What the heck happened to Papi? Where is Helena? Come on...people just magically disappear from the show. And what about Jenny? She starts out season 1 being sweet and somewhat naive, then she starts becoming crazy and now she is a bitchy, nasty, "Hollywood type." I'm sorry but adults don't change personalities that much. Mia Kirshner deserves better. As much as I love the L Word and will remain a faithful fan...i am really disappointed with some of the writing. I don't like Max, but it's like Ilene doesn't know what to do with his character. He doesn't even have a story line he just pops up in scenes occasionally to put in his two cents. There are some really great actresses on the show and it seems like the writers can't keep up. Bring back Dana, Helena, and Papi and let's get back to the basics. Is Tasha leaving now too? I give up.

porselen kertenkele said...

i actually was excited to hear something like a word coming out of the kid. we saw her signing "i love you" about a year ago but not a word? i think it was about time.

Heather said...

I have been missing me some Papi.. What the hell did happen to her? I see what you're saying about Max and Alice. It's possible there is a lot of weirdness between them. Maybe it is sexual tension. I love Daniela Sea and would love to see something good for Max in the show. And Adele, while she's hotting it up with her new do and her new clothes, and her everything else, she's seriously psycho...

BG said...

Yo, can I have your number? :P

Mia is the shit, and I don't care if they show Shane doing hair or not....she should just do me in the next episode. I can think of a good locations for that.....

Venus9869 said...

What the hell is up with Adele? I mean she looked extra hot this episode, but she is starting to give me the creeps. And I concur... WHERE HAS PAPI GONE? How can you just write her out of the show and not say anything about it? I was just starting to like her too...

lucidreamer said...

I've got a lot of Amens to give out...

Amen #1: The writing has gone down the tubes. I hate what they have done with Mia's character. It's completely absurd that she has made a complete 360 in her personality. Max DOES NOT get enough air time or any substantial story lines. Along with this comes my own gripe: I hate Bette and Tina together, it's like any unstable relationship, breaking up then back together then breaking up the hooking up is so not going to make it work. How do I know? Been there done that...

Amen #2 Adele is giving me the creeps BIG time, Max was right. She's a leeeeeeeetle off balance.

Amen #3 Missing characters: it's not like they just up and moved, and if they did, why is there no word of it?

My own gripes: L Word is infamous for running too many story lines at once, and frankly I really don't care too much about Kit. Don't get me wrong, I love her and her character, but I don't need too much air play of Kit's character to make me happy.

On a side note, since I'm a teacher I have studied the developmental stages of children's language development, and right now (just going by what appears to be a scattered timeline)...Angelica is what? like 2 now or maybe 3?? This is the age when children SHOULD stop overgeneralizing (that is calling things that are fuzzy with four legs "puppy" when they really have never probably seen a rat)...but that doesn't mean that some kids still don't overgeneralize especially if they have never experienced something like a rat before. Ok I'm done being a teacher.

;)

Robin said...

I thought Jenny was more normal this episode than she has been in a while. Still bitchy and pretentious at the start, but then softening once she was on set. Now it's Nikki's turn to be the psycho. And those other actresses who can't figure out how to fingerfuck a chick? Duh! How would someone do it to you, Miss Clueless?

Dawn Denbo is fucking awesome! She is so high school and so ridiculous which is what makes her rock. I can't wait to see how Kit, Shane and Alice are going to get revenge on her for the rats. It had better be damn good is all I can say. And I hope her lover Cindy switches sides and helps the girls get revenge, so she can stay on the show and get naked more often. And I hope Angela R wrote that episode cause she writes the funniest shit on the show.

You know, I kind of did see the Single White Female thing coming.

Did anyone else notice that Mia's boots changed colors from red to black while they were in the mall? Did she really buy new boots and wear them out? In the same style as the ones she walked in with?

Jane Lynch is amazing. Nuff said.

LaSunset said...

Alice and MAX better NOT hook up. KEEP TASHA alice or I can be her stnad-in.

Anonymous said...

Alice and Max have no chemistry. I'd rather her stay with Tasha. And yeah what happened to Papi? I thought her character was developing a purpose because what happened to her liking Kit? And I wish Kit still had her singing career cause they should bring Slim Daddy back! And I have a feeling that her gun is going to get into the wrong hands. Either that or she's going to end up using it herself. For some reason, I want to see Jenny that gun. LOL. Arlan, keep up these "10 reasons why..." blogs. I love these discussions.

Katelyn said...

I can see Alice and Max teaming up against Adele, but I don't see them hooking up. I think Adele's going to go (even more) crazy and take everyone hostage or something like that if Alice and Max try to tell her she isn't Jenny.

Anonymous said...

It was "sex AND salaciousness". "Sex salaciousness" doesn't even make much sense.

Kim said...

I think we're going to see something tragic with the gun- while Kit's babysitting Angie perhaps? Grief brings Tibette back together? Who knows.

As for SheBar- I can't wait to see the revenge. It's going to be another midnight rooftop balaclava event I'm sure. Kick ass, girls.

muffin said...

your 10 points are dead on!
except i really hate jenny, trying to appreciate the acting is a good idea....
also yeah debbie bimbo is cool but hopefully the hot one will switch sides!

Rusty said...

Okay....

#1 Max and Alice Oh hellllllll NO.
#2 As a black dominant lesbian, Im a little pissed that Tasha looks like she's on her way off the show. Now who do I have to look up to, Bette??? Uhhh no.Love her but sometimes I forget she's black, but hey, At least I was reminded when Bette told the chick that is playing "Bette" in Jennys move off.
Well I guess there's always Kit...as long as she keeps her clothes on and gets some new weave :)
#3 Max is The MAN....he may not have any lines, or camera time, or a clear decision on a gender but.....Hes the Man....cuz, like me, he knew something wasn't right about Jenny's assistant from the start. Im telling yall...she's crazy. I mean.....who lies about a hair cut?. Ill tell ya who...Psychos!...Hopefully we wont find Jenny has been kidnapped or anything...( wishful thinking)...which brings me to ....
#4 *sigh* is it me or is alot of Jenny's camera time used to waste time to get to the "real story lines". I mean, she is hot but I am soooooo over the bratty shit...its getting on my nerves..Every time she's on the screen my ghetto ass girlfriend curses her out and yells " Bitch grow the fuck up!. Don't Nobody give a fuck!"...All of Jenny's camera time at the mall with her assistant could have been put into a story line for MAX.
#5 Alice has been Soooooo much hotter since she's been with Tasha...is it her hair??? Anyways I felt bad for her this episode....she can never maintain a relationship....she always losing someone. Ohhhh and I really think they are taking the "angry black female" a little too far. Tasha is always yelling and angry.
#6 I love Kit's ghetto ass....love the attitude. She's So Hood.....and she provides a little extra humor for the black crowd...
#7.....Bette and Tina...with some Jody on the side....What the hell....the sex scenes were awesome..Tina's got a little freak in her...its cute. And bette gets to be Dominant again. Praise be to Jebus!!! I personally don't like the submissive stuff that been going on with Jody. And to those who don't like Tina and Bette together....why?? they might as well be together...they hate to party and they have a kid..the perfect couple....but you know what???When they are back together, where can the story go after that??? Im afraid everything will get boring with them and then maybe Bette will fuck a nurse instead of a carpender...nurses are hot too!! (shout out to the RNs ;))
---Ristina

kandy said...

ok great episode over all

#1. something is up with adele i agree with max from the start. like we dont even know where she lives or why she likes jenny so much

#2. where is papi and helena i miss them they cant just leave. and hello i dont want tasha to go she was awsome.

#3.i love to hate dawn bimbo haha. she is high school and stuff. i cant wait to see wut shane,alice and kit are gona cook up. but i do like to see lover cindy naked and hopes to see more of her and shane doing the dirty lol. maby like someone said before she will switch sides and help shane.

#4. the tibbit scens were hot hello tina got hotter lol. but they both seem confused and they dont know wut they want. i dont like jodi all that much so wonder wut will happen to her and bette.

#5.i like max but i wish they give him a better story line or hook up with tom at least

kandy said...

i forgot number 6. i love jenny this season shes doing an amazing job. i hope her and nikki hook up more mmm lol i thought it was cute when jenny tried to make nikki smile by kissing her sweet scene

th-Inker said...

Yes good stuff. I'm not really surprised by Papi's absence, even if I really liked her a lot. They just drop characters left and right, I mean they ditched Dana and Carmen in one season (I can't even watch that season anymore - it makes me cry). Jescas found her for anyone who doesn't read randomslant : www.msdewey.com ... funny yet sad.

I am upset Helena hasn't been referenced since she peaced out. We don't even know for sure if she got Dusty out of jail, if they're on the road fucking like crazy, or if dusty was like: "Um, I have family in LA I'd rather go home to"... Sooo many questions.

What I really want to know, and am I the only one thats noticed, but why are they making Alice into such a intolerant person. She's practically shunned Max in this season, when she was once the one person on the show who accepted everyone for who they are. She fucked a lesbian identified male for crying out loud, just watch dudes f'n podcast for serious!

I hope Shane starts fuckin Denbo's gf all the time now, since she has nothing to loose at this point. Maybe denbo will flip out and do something illegal.

ps. when Alice was crying at home, and they started to pan across her bed, did anyone else think/hope that Dana's ghost would be laying there with her? I wanted it so bad I thought I did see her ;.(

Anonymous said...

Haha Kit getting a new weave! That was hilarious. I'm fine with Jenny getting a lot of camera time ;)

kandy said...

ok i agree with th-inker. like wut about dusty and helena they cant just let that go im sure shel be back later on . and i do hope shane keeps doing lover cindy lol and that she will get away from crazy bitch dawn bimbo. who else thinks shane is gona hook up with phylissis daughter they seemed to hint that at the party lol. wuts up with alice too shes so mean to max

cosmological joke said...

duude. i totally thought that Dana's ghost was gonna be next to alice on the bed with tissues! one question: where is Angelica when mommies are f**king? Hope Max gets more air time b/c he's amazing and Daniela is beautiful! I'm keepin my fingers crossed for the day that alice wears a shane is my homogirl shirt!!

Emily said...

Dawn Denbo played by Elizabeth Keener may remind folks of Catherine Keener, her sister. She looks and sounds very much like her more famous sis who starred in Being John Malkovich and 40 year old virgin among many other films.

I am enjoying Jenny's character again finally. I don't think the evolution of her character is realistic, but I gave up on those kind of things with this show a long time ago. I am one of the few that actually liked Jenny the first season. The following 3 she became more and more annoying. Alas her bitchiness is so over the top now that it is amusing and fun. She really makes me laugh, love watching her.

Jenn EP said...

i actually totally agree with you, Arlan. You can't say they there hasn't been a lot of (what i consider sexual) frustration coming from Alice towards Max. It's like this grade school crush where an indian burn means "I like you". Which also reminds me - what was up wit Alice (who is openly bi, don't forget) telling Max that Our Chart is only for lesbians.
Still heart Alice, tho...

bridgeout said...

"Bettina doin' it. Hard. And a lot." YES!!! And that is why THIS is my favorite L Word episode. SO sexy! I love when Bette whispers to Tina "I missed you" while they are making love. Good stuff!!! Mmm mmm.