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Monday, February 18, 2008

Top 10 Reasons L Word Season 5, Episode 7 Was Like, The Fonz or Something

10. Tina's southern, y'all.

I loved when she said the word "tam" (time) at the beginning of the episode. It took me back to a tam when she was but a wee thing in a small town lookin' to *do* Evie. Y'all know what I'm talkin bout. Fuckin' asshoooole! ;-) But when Tina yelled out "Nikaaaaay" at SheBar, I died and went to grits heaven. Represent.

9. Cue *Imgonnagetyousucka* theme music. I was a bit concerned (but not surprised) when I heard the words "I think Tina's gotta thaaaang goin on (inaudible)" and "bow wow chicka bow wown" come from Kit's mouth early in the episode. And although she was even more ghetto this episode than she's been in a couple, it actually WORKED for me this time. I know! Shocked me too. The writer's should learn from this (if they get a 6th season--and don't you worry, I will be writing another letter) is that the only time it makes sense for Kit to be that ghetto is when she's callin' the po-po or yelling at an enemy who's handcuffed and being squeezed into the back of a cop car. Take note!

8. Evil Adele is hotter than Good Adele. Don't get me wrong. Bitch is crazy...but HOT.

7. Alice has always been the "right kind of gay"...and now she gets to prove it on national television. Months ago during a video interview on Ourchart, Leisha Hailey said she'd love to see Alice get her own tv show that was a spin-off of her radio show. And I mentioned it in my open letter to the writers last summer. It seems all of our hours at puppet-master school have finally paid off! Loving how they're calling it "The Look." Uh huh. Be careful Alice!

6. Take our breath away!

The guy who directed my least favorite episode this season (the soupy filmed one where Beech did a back-breaking 180 and was all nice to Tasha again) was Cougar from "Top Gun". Now The El has recruited Kelly Mcgillis. Coincidence? I think not.
I think someone ---> was a Maverick faaaan and I don't mean Dallas. I like the casting this season. We've got lesbians from 24 (Kate French) to 57/58 (Cybill Shepherd/Pam Grier). That's icyhot. And so is this:

5. What you talkin' bout, Phylis??
So I'm diggin the whole filming a movie within a tv show thing mostly because the show is having a good time poking fun at itself and educating us at the same time. For instance, I've always been on the chickwagon and of the mind that people like a certain actress who's name rhymes with "fate" or "fatherine" should be out publicly. To me it was sort of insulting that fatherine didn't want to stand up and be proud to call herself a lesbian or bisexual or whatever when she is playing arguably the most lesbian character in the history of television. I thought she "owed" it to her fans. But uh, I gotta tell you that this episode with the Niki outing thing really has opened my mind, my heart, and yes, my legs, to seeing it from the other person's point of view. Thanks Jenny's boob!

4. The "Stiletto Slut" rides again!

My #1 reason last week is still crazy as hell...and I'm still lovin' it.

3. My number 3 this week is Fonz approved!

And can I just mention again how GREAT Kate Moennig is looking this season? She looks great in every season (there's DVD proof of that), but she was dealin' with a serious case of the heroin-chic dingies a couple seasons there, and I'd lost that lovin' feelin for a while. Now she looks healthier than Jenny's left boob. And that's sayin a LOT!

2. Good things happen in and around my body anytime Jenny and Niki kiss. Even better things happen when they kiss while they're both naked. This week, Jenny's right boob stole the spotlight from Jenny's left boob. Thank you, Jenny's...right...boob. Have I mentioned how hot Kate French is? Yeah. Kinda scary that she's U-haulin it with the whole wanting Jenny's kids thing. But this makes up for it:

1. Slippery. Shiny. Boobies!

Seriously what else could it have been? And that wasn't even half of it. There were slippery boobies as far as the eye could see. And there's a rumor (that Ourchart started, haha) that Ourchart will have its own lesbian turkish oil wrestling match in Hollywood at the beginning of March and will record the whole thing. Let's hear it for those darn Turks and their wonderful invention, shall we?


Anonymous said...

I agree with you on Adele. The crazier she gets, the hotness comes with it. Does anyone else not love the tension between Molly and Shane? I cannot wait for something to happen between them! I also loved the scene where Kit is talkin smack to Denbo while she got arrested. Too good.

But yes!!!! I agree with you a millioin percent. The oil wrestling was a riot. Jesse Jailbate and Jenny = PURE HOTNESS.

Courtney R said...

Arlan, you are a blogging genius. I spend all night Sunday night (after the L Word) anxiously awaiting Monday so I can read your top 10 list. And as usual, it was everything I imagined. This week I was even trying to guess which moments you were going to pick.

Jennifer said...

That video with Jenny and Nikki, the first like minute or so was like how my whole weekend was. Lying in bed with my girl, kissing, laughing...etc. It was AMAZING. And I'm the girl who asked for the recipes. So thanks Arlan and all your fans!!

Anonymous said...

Arlan, I really look forward to your top 10 things. LOL I too wonder what moments you're going to pick. And I knew you would bring up Jenny's boobs! That was so HOT. Her and Niki really have awesome chemistry...even though i'd rather see her with Shane!

Oh yeah keep writing and asking about a season 6! I emailed Showtime and they replied saying that there's still no word on it.

Anonymous said...

seriously, i anxiously await every episode to be told wtf is up w/ adele...but hotter for sure

where was max?

i too obsessively check the space for a bulletin about the top 10 every monday

loved the songs used in this episode. prodigy during the turkish oil wrestling-brillant

i am so torn by tinette (or bettina-i kinda like tinette, though :)) and bodie(...think about it) bc i love tinette AND bodie both! i just love bette! even if she cant be in a monogomous relationship. i dont know what it is about her...i love her

kandy said...

i love ur top ten arlan. adele does get crazier but hotter. shane and molly soo cute cant wait for them to do it lol. im sure jodie will soon find out but its confusing.

Sarah said...

why turkish?

do you think jenny really loves nikki/niki/nicki/however she spells her name?

i like it when tina's angry and in charge.

"what you talkin' bout phyllis" was the shining point of this post.

Quory said...

REASON #11!!!
HELLOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Shane aka KM, was totally reppin for UH HUH HER in this episode! rock it out Leisha! sorry just made me happy =]

Robin said...

Did anyone else notice how much Clementine looks like her mom? If you didn't know, you'd know, that's how much alike they look.

And can I just say how happy I am that Cybill is on the show? I fell in love with her back in 1993 at the March on Washington when she told us all how Clementine wanted to come to the march, but couldn't make it cause she had the flu. Apparently, little Clem told mom to tell us how much she loved us all and wished she could be there. And Cybill's response? "It was my proudest moment as a parent." How f'in cool is that? I love you Cybill!

I cheered when Kit took out her cell and called the cops. Rock on, Kit! Arlan, I don't think 'bow chicka bow wow' is necessarily ghetto. I've said it and probably will again and I'm a white chick from suburbia. But I'm with you that she's always talking ghetto. When you compare her to her sister, Bette, it's quite a contrast.

Layne said...

Yeah, OurChart is going to actually have a lesbian Turkish oil wrestling night.

It's called Fyke and should be taking place in LA from what I've heard.

Layne said...

Ohhh and I actually thought that Adelle was actually a lot more attractive when she was a sad little dork trailing alongside Jenny. Like Shane and Alice said, it's kind of in that nerdy girl way.

Anonymous said...

Ok..can someone 'splain the Bette/Jodie (bodie) sex scene towards the end?? HUH?? The agressive-angry-don't touch me-i will touch myself-and use you like a dildo-like you're not here? Please let Bettina get back together. I love the scenes with them!

Anonymous said...

In response to 8:40:

It's called power play. Some of us find it really, really hot.

Anonymous said...

To 11:23: Thanks for the explanation. I'm enjoying the tension with bettina. I don't know why, I love the 2 of them together and find their scenes very hot. Bodie just doesn't go well together, but I like Jodie. (btw - Marlee will be on the next Dancing with the Stars). Kit and the gun is scaring me - sista doesn't need to go back to jail.

Layne said...

I actually kinda thought that the Bette/Jodie scene was showing how Bette uses sex as a way to relieve her stress. It seems as though whenever things go wrong for her, she has crazy sex which is more about pleasuring herself until she comes then about the other person.

Thanks for the Dancing with the Stars tip! I hate that show, but I'm going to have to watch it solely for Marlee.