Top 10 Reasons Season 5, Episode 5 Was the Return of... the L Word

10. Why isn't it "Bettina?" Hmm... I like that we're not getting Bette and Tina all nicely wrapped in a pretty package after that kiss from last episode. Make us work for it, Ilene. You dominatrix, you. I know I'm *hard-on* you most of the time, but I have to give credit where credits due. You're doing a fantastic job with this storyline. Love your hair. Hope you win!

9. A low down dirty Shane. Kate Moennig has never looked as good and healthy as she does this season...and thats saying SO much cause bitch is hot all the time. I wanna know what sort of Gay Wheaties (or brownies?) this girl has been eating lately. Baby is looking GOOD. And just in time cause I was so over the heroin chic thing from past seasons.


8. I wanna see their golden boobies globes! I may be naive (prolly so) but why is it that none of the L Word actresses are ever nominated for a Golden Globe or Emmy? Weeds always gets nominated, and this year Tudors was nominated. Same network. Different city? Where was our Leisha Hailey nom for Season 3? Or our Jennifer Beals...or Mia freakin' Kirshner? Hmmm...please tell me if I missed when this happened. And most importantly, L Word peops, tell me how we can get them nominated for this season? Producers send in your vids for consideration, and we send thousands of gay bras to the Golden Globe committee? Consider it done;-)

7. HELENAAAAAAA! Come baaaack!! To MY lover Helena/Rachel Shelley, I haven't forgotten about you. I'm waiting patiently for you to come back. And until then, I dedicate this to you, wherever you are.

I want my baby back baby back baby back...

6. Angela Robinson = best L Word director ever. This episode was the first time in years that it felt like the L Word I fell in love with in the first season. I'm gonna even go as far as assuming that they used the same kind of cameras and lighting and other technical stuff that they used when they had a tiny budget back in the day. What I loved about the first season was that each episode had the look and feel of a well-executed independent movie. But after their budget was put on steroids, things startin' gettin weird. Thanks to Angela for bringing sexy back in a real way. Angela also wrote, produced and directed the entire GIRLTRASH.tv web series that we've all come to know and love, and I'm officially calling for Showtime to buy the HELL out of the series. How much fun would that be??

5. Alice on tv while on tv = Alice even hotter. Somehow Leisha Hailey looks even better when she's on a tv inside a tv. And we finally got our Alice back! The first 4 episodes this season, I had nothing to really comment on when it came to Alice's character. She was sort of sitting back and letting Tasha ride the pony and jump on the good foot. Which is cool cause we got to see naked boobies in a United-Colors-of-Benetton-ad sort of way, but I wanted my fiery Alice back. Mission accomplished, soldier.

4. My lover Alicia Leigh Wilis...butt ass naked.
When Ilene created the Shane character, it was obvious that she was mirroring it after me. I didn't get mad like Bette did this episode when was faced with the same problem. I just asked (through pigeon and telepathically) that Ilene not mention any of the real names of my conquests. She's been very good at keeping all of my past lovers' names discreet...until this week! Um, my lover Alicia Leigh Willis is not only my past lover, but she played HERSELF in this episode! Talk about...uh...egg on my face. I see my ex lover Alicia Leigh Willis all naked and shiny and boobular, and...and slippery and sultry and sexy...and seductive and pert and...slippery....and... mmmmmmmm.... what was I saying?

3. I touched Mia Kirshner's boobies, y'all! Last weekend when I met Kate French (who plays Niki Stevens) in Los Angeles, I had no idea that by shaking her hand, I would have been touching all sorts of Mia Kirshner too! Only Jenny would be this turned on by doing the chick who's playing her in a movie. Thank you...Jenny's boob. AGAIN.

2. My lover Alicia Leigh Willis and Kate Moennig...doin it...naked. It was so hot, it gets two spots. It's my blog. I can do that. Yeah....slippery and shiny and...

1. Gay pot brownies, lesbian drama, and the Jackson 5 = one of the best scenes in L Word history:

I watched this episode in Chicago. It was the first time I'd seen it outside of southern California in a LONG time. I finally *get* it. This is exactly what West Hollywood lesbians are like. When the show first started, I accused it of being too glamorous and unrealistic. I think I've accused it of that as recently as last week. But being able to step away from the city I've spent the past few months carousing in made it SO easy to see. It's so authentic (for better or worse) I honestly think I've eaten Gay Pizza next to some of those extras.