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Monday, February 04, 2008

Top 10 Reasons Season 5, Episode 5 Was the Return of... the L Word

10. Why isn't it "Bettina?" Hmm... I like that we're not getting Bette and Tina all nicely wrapped in a pretty package after that kiss from last episode. Make us work for it, Ilene. You dominatrix, you. I know I'm *hard-on* you most of the time, but I have to give credit where credits due. You're doing a fantastic job with this storyline. Love your hair. Hope you win!

9. A low down dirty Shane. Kate Moennig has never looked as good and healthy as she does this season...and thats saying SO much cause bitch is hot all the time. I wanna know what sort of Gay Wheaties (or brownies?) this girl has been eating lately. Baby is looking GOOD. And just in time cause I was so over the heroin chic thing from past seasons.


8. I wanna see their golden boobies globes!
I may be naive (prolly so) but why is it that none of the L Word actresses are ever nominated for a Golden Globe or Emmy? Weeds always gets nominated, and this year Tudors was nominated. Same network. Different city? Where was our Leisha Hailey nom for Season 3? Or our Jennifer Beals...or Mia freakin' Kirshner? Hmmm...please tell me if I missed when this happened. And most importantly, L Word peops, tell me how we can get them nominated for this season? Producers send in your vids for consideration, and we send thousands of gay bras to the Golden Globe committee? Consider it done;-)

7. HELENAAAAAAA! Come baaaack!! To MY lover Helena/Rachel Shelley, I haven't forgotten about you. I'm waiting patiently for you to come back. And until then, I dedicate this to you, wherever you are.

I want my baby back baby back baby back...

6. Angela Robinson = best L Word director ever. This episode was the first time in years that it felt like the L Word I fell in love with in the first season. I'm gonna even go as far as assuming that they used the same kind of cameras and lighting and other technical stuff that they used when they had a tiny budget back in the day. What I loved about the first season was that each episode had the look and feel of a well-executed independent movie. But after their budget was put on steroids, things startin' gettin weird. Thanks to Angela for bringing sexy back in a real way. Angela also wrote, produced and directed the entire GIRLTRASH.tv web series that we've all come to know and love, and I'm officially calling for Showtime to buy the HELL out of the series. How much fun would that be??

5. Alice on tv while on tv = Alice even hotter. Somehow Leisha Hailey looks even better when she's on a tv inside a tv. And we finally got our Alice back! The first 4 episodes this season, I had nothing to really comment on when it came to Alice's character. She was sort of sitting back and letting Tasha ride the pony and jump on the good foot. Which is cool cause we got to see naked boobies in a United-Colors-of-Benetton-ad sort of way, but I wanted my fiery Alice back. Mission accomplished, soldier.

4. My lover Alicia Leigh Wilis...butt ass naked.
When Ilene created the Shane character, it was obvious that she was mirroring it after me. I didn't get mad like Bette did this episode when was faced with the same problem. I just asked (through pigeon and telepathically) that Ilene not mention any of the real names of my conquests. She's been very good at keeping all of my past lovers' names discreet...until this week! Um, my lover Alicia Leigh Willis is not only my past lover, but she played HERSELF in this episode! Talk about...uh...egg on my face. I see my ex lover Alicia Leigh Willis all naked and shiny and boobular, and...and slippery and sultry and sexy...and seductive and pert and...slippery....and... mmmmmmmm.... what was I saying?

3. I touched Mia Kirshner's boobies, y'all! Last weekend when I met Kate French (who plays Niki Stevens) in Los Angeles, I had no idea that by shaking her hand, I would have been touching all sorts of Mia Kirshner too! Only Jenny would be this turned on by doing the chick who's playing her in a movie. Thank you...Jenny's boob. AGAIN.

2. My lover Alicia Leigh Willis and Kate Moennig...doin it...naked. It was so hot, it gets two spots. It's my blog. I can do that. Yeah....slippery and shiny and...

1. Gay pot brownies, lesbian drama, and the Jackson 5 = one of the best scenes in L Word history:

I watched this episode in Chicago. It was the first time I'd seen it outside of southern California in a LONG time. I finally *get* it. This is exactly what West Hollywood lesbians are like. When the show first started, I accused it of being too glamorous and unrealistic. I think I've accused it of that as recently as last week. But being able to step away from the city I've spent the past few months carousing in made it SO easy to see. It's so authentic (for better or worse) I honestly think I've eaten Gay Pizza next to some of those extras.

24 comments:

Prettyinblack said...

I agree..Angela Robinson does indeed = best L Word director ever !

This was definitely my favorite episode of this season, what with Alice (sweet Alice) outing homoboy, "gay pot brownies, lesbian drama and the Jackson 5"!

oh, and the best line of the season so far..."Was Mary-fucking-Poppins not available?" loved it!

Courtney said...

I totally agree about the Mary Fucking Poppins line. I almost fell out of my chair laughing. It was absolute greatness.

Arlan, I am loving these top 10 lists, you should keep them comming. And branch out and make more of them, about more topics. Cause I need more excuses to surf the intetnet at work!

VA said...

I totally agree on Shane looking amazing this season, and damn, last night she was looking super fine. not much of a surprise.

:]

XLove.PinkX said...

I really agree about the directing. That's one thing that I really love about this show. you met Kate French? cool! I thought you really touched Mia's boobs at first before I read it. I was getting jealous! But yeah I thought Shane looked the best first season and then she looks better than ever this season. And Leisha's ponytail and glasses is so cute.

CRAZY BITCH said...

I THOUGHT I WAS IN LOVE WITH SHANE, BUT THIS WEEKS EPISODE OPENED MY EYES!! I HAD ONLY BEEN IN LUST WITH HER UNTIL THE SCENE WHERE SHE IS GOING IN THE DOORWAY TO GET LAID, BUT GLANCES BACK TO CHECK OUT ANOTHER HOT BROAD!!! NOW I AM IN LOVE WITH SHANE....

Anonymous said...

I totally have to admitt last nights L word was AMAZING.... an the Pot Brownies an Jackson Five just made it the BEST episode i have seen, not to mention Shane is looking totally fuckalicious!!!

Anonymous said...

Arlan- It was awesome meeting you here in Chicago. Sometimes I forget that there is a real, live, breathing wonderful woman behind these crazy and always original words. top 10 are great- but if it was mine i think it would only consist of alice and shane. When do they hook up? oh sweet fantasy.-Sheridan

GenaMarie said...

Can they do something about Shanes hair? She most defiantly needs a change!

Heather said...

Mmmmm Shane! Yeah, she's definitely looking better than ever in this season, and I liked how her glorious titties were all over the screen last night!
And yeah, Jenny basically fucked herself... She's so twisted! LOL!
Since this episode aired I really want some pot brownies too, especially if I can get them with a side of hot lesbians partying with me!
That episode last night was one of the best in a very long time! While I agree about the Mary Poppins line being fucking awesome, I also was a big fan, of "And you, I don't even know you, but you're going down too, How bout that?!" That was so funny!

Anonymous said...

I say I think tashia is so very sexy and I love her to death

Robin said...

"Mary Poppins"= Funny.

Dawn Denbo's entire rant= funny as hell.

"Gay brownies"= funniest fucking thing of the entire show! That actress who's playing 'Shaun' is so homo-terrified how's she supposed to play a player who fucks every girl in sight? Let's see her try to get it on with Alicia Leigh Willis (who has a smokin' hot body, damn!).

T.J. Soles said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

haha classice episode loved it

i agree with everyone
shane lookin hotter then ever and doing it with alicia wow. hope they hook up again

the gay brownies lmao pricless and i love the girl who plays shaun she looked so scared.

dawn denbo anoying but very funny

PUNK RAQ said...

i agree that this was the best episode! but my favorite quote was, "don't listen to her. she wears mom-jeans with camel-toe." -jenny fucking brilliant! i believe that this season has made go from bi to full les! i wanna go to an L.A. gay party like that. invite me for gay pizza, arlan!

Dannibell said...

lol u know what made this episode a bit funny for me.. the whole scene with tina, bette, and the actress that's gonna play bev... lol bette was like she's fucking white... what? was marry fuckin' poppin's not available?!" haha i almost peed cause it really easy to forget bette is black haha

Anonymous said...

The comment about the gay brownies fucking each other was hilarious! Shane is awesome. And the Mary poppins comment, wow this was like one of the best episodes ever. They were having so much fun. That makes me want to go to a gay party too.

Penny Cillin said...

I have a cat named Tibet, but for some reason I call her Bettina. I was not aware of it until you pondered the "Why isn't it Bettina?" question. It must be some form of subconscious support for the fictitious couple I love so much. Hmmm...Bettina.

Jos said...

I loved this episode! Shane is way too hott to not be an asshole. BUT... where is PAPI?

JEWELS said...

This episode was the best! Bette with her mary poppins comment, the new drama shane got herself into, BUT ESPECIALLY the gay brownies- "I promise they're not gay-what if the brownies were gay?-their all fucking eachother" that shit was hilarious!! this is SUCH a GREAT season!!
Since that part played i've wanted to eat pot brownies with all my lesbians and get drunk and stoned and swim and sing!! This season you can really feel the connection the actors have made with eachother, it soo good! i cant wait to see what's to come!!!!

kat said...

It was such a great episode on so many levels. And I love that you indirectly touched Mia's boobies. Jealous, though. ;)

RuDeBoYReBeLL said...

damn i fuckin love the L word...i wish i could find an awesome group of lesbians that eat pot brownies and listen to the jackson 5...damn it...I WANT IN!!

datDIVAinYOlyfe said...

u r so rite about ALICE being back.....but can i just say that i'll take TASHA in that uniform anyday.....*sigh* it's getting a little hot in hea

Amanda said...

Gay pot brownies!!! That episode was sooooooooooooooo funny. This season is damn good! The more boobies they show, the better for us all!

Jaimie @ Just Kiss 'N Makeup said...

girl, im not even gay but id go there for shane! shes just soooo the bomb