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Monday, March 17, 2008

Top 10 Reasons L Word Season 5, Episode 11 Was PMS City

10. Melanie Lynskey.

Aw I love her. I've always thought that she should have guest starred on "Will & Grace" as Karen's younger sister. Don't you think?? *sigh* I'm going to forgive her for slipping in and out of her New Zealand accent during this episode. She's just spent from doing such an awesome job with the New Jersey accent in "Coyote Ugly," a British accent in "Ever After," a southern accent in "Sweet Home Alabama," and her SoCal accent on "Two and a Half Men." She tired, y'all!

9. Max told y'all.

He did. He kept tellin y'all and tellin y'all but y'all wouldn't listen. But whew, all is well now. Cause as soon as you figured out (even though he already told y'all) that Max was right, you ran to your cellphones to call him and let him know and thank him SO much for the good lookin' out. Wait, I'm getting a message from my producer (aka Miss Kitty )...Oh, they didnt...call him? They didn't even thank him? Oh ok. Ahem...well...Max is hot y'all. Woohoo!

8. "I hope you bleed soon. I really do." What was up with Tasha and Alice's Uhaul drama? And tell me this: PMS? Really??

This one's a temple thumper. On one hand, you could argue that yes, this show is seen mostly by women who understand the underlying inside joke that is the ghastly (and gassy?) PMS. But er uh...for real, I have never blamed PMS for as much as they did. And I'm an asshole;-) I know there was a rhyme and reason for this theme somewhere in the writers' room when they started this episode. I'll just have to ask them what it was when I'm sitting there this summer:-)

7. Kit was about to set it off! But Foxy, you put the gun in the same pocket as yo cellphone??I can't tell if that was:
OR ?

6. ...and cue...director. Adele is still crazy, but damn if she doesn't get hotter in each episode. She proved in this episode that she'd be an awesome porn director. As long as there was a camera on her giving the directions as well. Good times. I'd like to officially declare this Adele's theme song:


5. Bette and Jodi in the battle of the crisp pant suit.
It was a roller coaster of emotions. Bette was confused. Jodi was confused. WE were confused. But I think
Adeles crazy must have rubbed off on Bette cause she was trippin'.

Bi the way, I found the pic they used on Y? Magazine for me and Mcphee's power lesbian feature:


4. ...and cue...phantom video editor.
Haha...I almost fell off of the couch again during the scene where Adele shows everyone Jenny and Nikki's tape. It was supposed to be from the video camera they sat down on the table, right? Then how in the HELL (and imagine me saying this with my Texan accent at full throttle) did it have cuts and different angles and shiz?? That was some funny shit. Ilene, next time you need that sort of scene done and there's no time, call ME and I will fly up there with my own video camera in tow, shoot the scene at knee level (ahem) and after watching it 50 or 60 times down at my local pub for some audience feedback, I'll send you the finished product.

3. They finally remembered Angelica.
Baby girl has been on that play date for weeks! I thought I was gonna have to call Child Services.


2. Shane is *lesbian Macgyver* smurf. I mean I've seen the Pepsi can turned bong plenty o' times. But Shane worked it out. Now I'm not saying I agree with or promote the use of canibus, but I've got to admire the sheer creativity that is Shane's different forms of pot inhalation/digestion. The only thing she likes more than pot and bitches, is her BFF Jenny. Aw...

Jenny will be Blanche when she's older and Shane will be Sophia. Yep. I know you'd think it would be the opposite, but mark my words, you.

1. I get my baby back baby back baby back...I know what you're saying. She wasn't even on the show! How could she be number 1?? Well first of all, shut ya cake hole. And second of all, I saw her beautiful long hair and legs and fingers and...*sigh* yeah I saw Helena during the previews for next episode. Truth be told, I knew she was coming back for the last episode for weeks. That is why I kept pounding my chest and throwing a dove to her in each of my recaps. But the actual confirmation and proof that she will in fact be there gets the #1 spot on any list, at any time on my site. Ya heard?
Aw Rachel Shelley...how do you do that voodoo you do so well?

AND! as a bonus, this reader just let us know that Rachel Shelley WILL be returning for all of Season 6. So um...rejoice:

Thanks Jenny's...left...boob!! ( ;-) @ Jill)

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

You make my day Arlan...

Anonymous said...

what is up wit my alice and tasha? Alice cannot kiss that other girl, i love them together. ohh and you are so right arlan i was wondering when they were going to finally pick Angelica up lmao, i am glad i am not the only one who caught that. p.s. i love shane, she can bring her a her bong over to my casa anytime and day. muah's to shane and arlan love the recaps. :)

Jill said...

Arlan,

You are quite hysterical.

I am disappointed that Jenny's left boob wasn't even a part of this recap... I mean, it is kind of irrelevant... but you know what I mean.

-jill

Anonymous said...

Melanie Lynskey. That's her name. Why was I so drooling over her in her cameo? I think I even pissed off my GF. Or maybe it was because I shared that she reminded me of the first girl I crushed out on when I moved to SF. Thanks for the movie titles. I hope she's on the next season.

Anonymous said...

so is season 6 really the last season EVER??....
man i hope not...
if it is there has to be some kind of petition or something...
its hard for me to get by without my good ol buddie shane!...like seriously whats going on?

Nikki Rice (AKA theALTERNAtraveler) said...

I nearly peed my pants when I saw Melanie Lynskey last night on the L-Word. I fell in love with her back in the Heavenly Creatures days and that love grew with But I'm A Cheerleader. Now the L-Word?!? I'm head over heels. I'm all about Alice hooking up with her if it will land her more screen time. :)

Love your blog, by the way! I've been lurking for months. It's full of two of my favorite things - great wit and great tit!

Anonymous said...

When Alice made that pms comment, I didn't know if I heard that correctly so thanks for clarifying it for me! LOL Arlan you are so funny. You picked up on the camera angles? That's awesomeness. By the way Shenny [Shane and Jenny] are so cute!

ReneeG said...

Finding out that Helena is coming back in Season 6, is like finding out that Jesus Christ really IS a woman, and a gay one, to boot!

I was starting to think they killed her off in some weird post-jail conspiracy. And like you, I would have just died, if they didn't bring sexy back.

I love me some Helena and her delicious British accent...

Anonymous said...

I can never wait for Sunday to come so that i can watch The L Word and once i see it i cant wait for you to post your top 10 list. Idk what iam ganna do once this seasons last episode is over with. Also it was a good thing Angelica was seen again, i was starting to worry. Also what ever happened to Jenny's Dog. We saw him in like maybe 3 or 4 episodes and then he is gone. Did he run away or something? lol. Love ya Arlan

Unknown said...

Jenny's dog replaced Angelica in that never-ending play group.

What the F was Kit thinking?! Was she really planning to shoot Denbo? For fuck's sake, just pick up the phone, call Ivan and ask him to sell you his share instead. It ain't rocket science.

FYI, Shane & Jenny gave Max kudos for seeing through Adele, so it didn't go entirely unnoticed.

Melanie Lynskey sure does do a lot of gay movies. Maybe that little taste she got of Kate Winslet was all she needed to see the light. Or not.

Anonymous said...

thank god helena is coming back i missded her!

Mzlinguist said...

Sooo...can I say...I have been waiting on this all darn day! :) Gotta love your top 10 ARLAN! I saw HELENA and nearly jumped out the window...like my prayers have been answered! :)

btw, I am going to whip alice's ASS!

Anonymous said...

Left boob, right boob... Mia Kirshner is the hottest woman ever. And Arlan, you're great!

Anonymous said...

LMAO @ #4 - I thought the same dayum thang!! (especially about the part where YOU would shoot it lol)

Anonymous said...

Arlan! How I love thee. Thanks for keeping the memory of one Miss Helena Peabody alive and thank you for making her #1. She's #1 in my book too.

That vid of Rachel makes me feel kind of bad for her - it seems like she felt shitty for what happened to her.

Unknown said...

I am so glad I'm not the only one that noticed that about the sex tape footage

Anonymous said...

good ep . melanie lynskey hott lol. angelica is alive haha. i thought kit was gona shoot lover cindy im like nooo dont shoot her shoot dd lol crazyy adele i want to cry cause shes so creepy

Jill said...

Hahaha...

I saw the little update about Jenny's left boob.

Arlan, you rock!

-jill

Sarah said...

Bette and Jodi in the battle of the crisp pant suit.

haha

Anonymous said...

Haha I'd go gay for Shane....OH WAIT!!!

Anonymous said...

Honestly Alice said" I wish you would be bleed", and I couldn't stop laughing. I loved it, and I think I may have to say it the guys I work with. The bio guys I mean. they need to PMS and get it over with!

Anonymous said...

Melanie Lynskey! It made me happy to see her. She is hot and awesome and stuff. I couldn't believe when Alice told Tasha to bleed soon! Aww, Shane/Jenny. AND HELENA. I read in TV Guide last week that she was coming back so yay! :D

nerdmafia said...

alrighty then! 1. melanie lynskey has been my homegirl since heavenly creatures (and why hasn't she blown up kate winslet-style? anyone?). 2. shane can do anything. 3. baby girl is such a WeHo power lesbian accessory. half the time bettina/tibette don't even remember they have a daughter unless it will further the plot with juicy hook-ups or family therapy. good thing auntie kit is there to perpetually babysit, i guess. 4. i was with max on the adele-is-crazy train from the jump off! that girl ain't right...she hotter than a mothaf*ckah tho! and gets hotter even as she gets crazier...where's my fan? 5. i love the jodi character. and yes, bette did her way wrong, but girl please take a hint! how many times does bette have to tell you it's over? you are a world-class sculptor. revered. respected by your peers. get it together girl! 6. everything helena is heavenly. good lawd i missed that girl! 7. where on earth did you find that video?! well played, arlan. well played indeed.