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Sunday, August 10, 2008

So You Think You Might Be Gay? Go See "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2" and Find Out.

I saw "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2" today, and it dawned on me that this is the perfect movie to watch if you're questioning your sexuality and need a little help. Here are some surefire ways to tell if you're a homosexual lesbian once you've seen the movie:

10. You recognize the actress who plays Alexis Bledel's little sister as "that hot chick's hot little sister from Bionic Woman" and proceed to undress her with your eyes even when she's not on screen.

9. When Amber Tamblyn's character says a line with the words "the 'l' word,"--meant to describe "love,"--this image instantly pops in your head:

But to be fair, this image pops in your head when you order your popcorn too.

8. You wear your signed "Ugly Betty" underwear to the theater and giggle at your little secret each time America is on screen. She sure cleans up good. Damn.

7. The first time Alison Folland is on screen, you jump out of your chair and scream : "All Over Me!!!" and then miss 5 minutes of the movie because of distracting flashbacks of this hot Leisha Hailey scene:

**UPDATE 2010! If this clip turns you on right now, you are a lesbian. Don't even have to finish this list. You are welcome.

6. You know who Alison Folland is.

5. You hear moaning in the audience at least twice during the movie, and when you look around to see where it's coming from, you realize it's you.

4. You applaud every single time Blake Lively is on screen. I did, and I'm SO gay.

3. Once the credits start rolling, you sit in the theater hoping that instead of bloopers or pics of the cast when they were in high school, they'll show the deleted orgy scene.

2. Once you realize there is no deleted orgy scene, you immediately add one to the script you've been writing:
"Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 3: Bitches Stranded on an island in Greece Get Buck Wild."

1. You're watching "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2"



Brandalynn said...

I am gay as fuck.


Love ya Arlan

Chris and Lauren's Blog said...

"Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 3: Bitches Stranded on an island in Greece and Get Buck Wild."???


You're genius Arlan. Fucking GENIUS!

Mad love,


Haley said...

Total Fag Here..Mmmmmmmm. Blake Lively is an instant orgasm

mollie said...

All i can say is THANK YOU. I am so gay, and I have seen this movie 3 times. LOL. You ROCK Arlan.

Piper said...

Yes I agree, Blake lively is an instant fucking orgasm. they should make her character have a lesbian fling in gossip girl even though people who read the books know theres no chance in hell if they follow books to the t...but hell its television let us lesbians dream.

Lauri said...

well i haven't seen it yet and sure as hell can't wait to!!

P.S. you forgot one...besides having a massive orgasm from seeing blake lively, you also remember her brother was in the L word :)

Heather said...

Arlan, i saw the 1st one, but not the second one yet. Yes, Blake Lively is a little hottie. I could eat her up! It's supposed 2 be a strong, independent movie about friendship & we're all here fantazing about the girlies. What's wrong with us, lol? Heather

Anonymous said...

i read your top ten and i am gay as hell......
love ya arlan

Sarah said...

arlan you should check out the newest cosmo with blake on the cover. i think her article will make you love her more.

also, alexis bledel had no sibings that were spoken of at all not even a little bit in the first movie so i'm confused but DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING.

Brian said...

Well I'm a man and I think most of those chicks are hot and I definitely think of TLW when someone uses that phrase, so that confirms I'm straight! Mostly anyway :)


Elizabeth said...

Not only was Blake's big bro on the L Word, but her big sis was Teen Witch (guess I'm dating myself a little)... I think that movie started my love of red-heads (along with Jenny Lewis in The Wizard, of course...) What wonderfully beautiful genes the Lively family has.

Sinnerviewer said...

"You hear moaning in the audience at least twice during the movie, and when you look around to see where it's coming from, you realize it's you."

That had me snickering aloud. Thanks, A. Cute post.

Miss Kris said...

I saw the first one in theaters and have the DVD. Does that make me gay? LOL

To Grow On said...

Not only is Alexis Bledel's sister in "...Travelling Pants" also the sister from "Bionic Woman," but she's now playing Aria on "Pretty Little Liars" (ABC Family). Just to let you know. :)

Larkin said...

haven't seen it, saw the first one though and I liked it.. Im in love with Blake Lively.. and WHOA with the video you posted with Leisha Hailey. Thankyou, I find your posts very entertaining :)

Anonymous said...

oh, damn! well, there's no doubt now (as if there was!); number 7 finished me off! And thanks!