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Thursday, December 25, 2008

Dude, You Kiss Like a Girl.

...and I Like It!

Have you noticed that some of today's most successful leading men would make pretty good...well, leading women in some lesbian films? Its always been something that I've thought about, and I was reminded of it again while watching "Jerry Mcguire" today on Showtime. I saw the movie originally about 5 years ago (yep, a good 7 years after it uh, *came out*) but there was nothing else on and I like the sound of Regina King's voice (shoutout to "Boondocks" fans!) so I thought I'd leave it on in the background.

In some mainstream movies, some love scenes remind me of something right out of an indie--and prolly Canadian--lesbifest. Let me show you what I'm talking about.

Sexhibit A: The kissing scene in Jerry Mcguire:

Yeah, she's got a secret garden alright. It's called "Tom Cruise was my lesbian gym coach Freshman year of college and we totally made out in front of her house one night after a good game."

Sexhibit B: The *oh my god you're so lucky you get to do Claire Forlani* scene in "Meet Joe Black"

Word. If I were Brad Pitt (or uh..."Death", as it were), and I were naked atop Claire Forlani, I'd probably look like that too. But then again, I'm THE GAY. So it's to be expected. Brad's smooth body, purdy lips and delicate, longing gaze make him officially one of the hottest lesbians I've ever seen have sex with Claire Forlani on screen. Mmmm...yumsters!

Sexhibit C: Every sex scene in Don Juan Demarco:

Dude. Where do I start?? The long, teasing hair. The eyeliner. The butterfly kisses. I'm saying. I bet you didn't know that Don Juan Demarco was one of the best lesbian films ever made, huh. Yep.

Oh and for a bonus sexhibit, go watch any love scene involving Brad Pitt in "Legends of the Fall." Brad Pitt = hot lesbian. That's why Angelina fell for him to begin with. Duh!

Once again, En-dyke-lo-pedia Brown has cracked the code and is at your service.

As you were.

1 comment:

Jincey said...

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Happy to see you back at it! Hugs, girl.