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Saturday, February 14, 2009

My Valentine's Date

Everyone knows that I have been happily married to Katharine Mcphee and Rachel Shelley(s) for years now. But while the two of them are off working this weekend, I have a new love interest and I wanted to introduce you to her:

Yes, you heard it here first, ladies. Kat Dennings is my new love interest. Her acting is amazing, and I think in the next couple of years she's going to have a breakout role a la Hilary Swank or Jolie that's just going to blow us all away. And her personality is pretty brilliant too. She's a bit younger than I usually like to date, but what she lacks in years, she certainly makes up for in lips, eyes, voice charm. If you have a Blockbuster card and nothing to do this weekend, might I suggest the following movie marathon:

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist
The House Bunny
40-Year Old Virgin
Secretary -- Kat's not in it, but it's effin' hot.

I still haven't seen Kat's movie Charlie Bartlett but I hope to change that sad fact VERY soon. It's made even sadder because a friend of mine (Mr. Tyler Hilton) is actually IN the movie and therefore I should have seen it ages ago. I suck. But soon, I will not suck. Hey Tyler, if you wanna send me the DVD so I can pop it into my laptop, that'd be fantastique.

You know what's AWESOME though? There's this indie-type movie coming out called "Arlen Fabor" that stars my longtime love interest Lauren Graham (damn! just realized I forgot to put her in the 'open note to my type' post.), my new love interest Kat Dennings, and my future love interest Olivia Thirlby (remember Juno's hot best friend in...well, Juno?). So what if they misspelled my name? You know what this means, dont you? It means that 3 of my favorite actresses will most likely say my name in the film. Which saves me the trouble of having to record them saying it during all of our lovemaking, paste them all together and use as my main ringtone. Instead, now I can just do it all from the comfort of my laptop. Cool beans!

I also found out that Kat has a great blog ( She's been blogging since 2002 (when she was 15 or so?) and vlogging since mid-2006. How I didn't know that until now is a huge mystery to me. But I'm going to make up for my ignorance this weekend by reading every blog entry I can and watching every video on her youtube channel possible.

A highlight from her blog is actually her most recent post:

Today I am going to get very serious about something.

I know, "WTF, ROFL", you say. But nevertheless, I need to speak firmly.

As you are undoubtedly aware from reading this endless omnibus of redonkulousness, I am kind of a weirdo. I write like someone who's been trapped in a well for 9 years with a radioactive bathtub and/or Doctor Who. And if you've seen me speak candidly in some type of nonfiction interview, you might gather that I also talk that way.

Why? Who knows why. There are times when I seem normal, like when I'm ordering sushi or calling the fire department, or asking where the meringues are, but I guess it all boils down to this:

People think I'm on drugs....all the time.

Not anyone who knows me, knows anything about me, or has maybe read any written interview I've ever done, but even so, it hurts. It stings. It cuts. It burns. Right in the balls.

I have never been high. I daresay I am against drugs, and I barely even drink twice a year at weddings.

So I'm leaving it at that. Anyone else who would like to comment on my YouTube videos saying "wtf, this ch1ck is so high lol" or something else like that, can come and read this post and then SHUT THE HELL UP.


How can you NOT fall in love/lust with someone who writes and thinks like that??


Ok kids, now go softly stalk her blog and youtube profile. You'll be happy you did.

And here's some more lovely for those of you who are chillin' on this Valentine's weekend:


Elizabeth said...

MMM Kat Dennings. Yeah. I only discovered her blog a few months back and just thought, where have you been all my life. Quirky and funny and smart is sooo my type.

Anonymous said...

Umm ok, Where have you been Arlan? I have been in love with Kat since the movie Raise Your Voice in 2004. At the time I was in love with Hilary Duff but I dumped the Duff for the Dennings.

p.s. I'm still in love with her. haha

Southern Comfort said...

Charlie Bartlett is where I first saw Kat. She is good stuff!

ashley ihrig said...

Omg! she's so hott! thanks for opening me up to this amazing female! must be love ;)

Melissa said...

arlan, i thought you might like this clip...
it's kat dennings AND katherine mcphee!

nerdmafia said...

um, yeah...i just remember feeling incredibly guilty for thinking that the 16 year old daughter in "The 40 Year Old Virgin" was HOTTT!

then i remember seeing her more recently in "Nick & Nora" and thinking to myself: "Is she legal yet?"

the vlog on youtube kicks ass...

so, yeah, kat dennings as your next love interest: we'll have to duke it out, but there's really nothing wrong with your choice of starlets.