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Friday, February 06, 2009

An Open Letter to Drag Queens at Gay Bars Across the Country...


(the fabulous Candis Cayne...this does not apply to her)

You have GOT to stop finding me in the crowd and picking on me because I'm either a) the only black person there so you get to use what you think is a very good impression of a black person, b) the only person there not drunk enough to be laughing my ass off at your mediocre "jokes," therefore not smiling from ear to ear, or c) the...only...BLACK PERSON who's there who also happens to NOT BE SMILING or LAUGHING at you.

*sigh*

I am really trying to figure out this phenomena. The fact that it's happened to me more than once is fascinating to me. It usually starts out with a friend or new acquaintance wanting to take me to their "favorite" bar in town. So we go, have a drink, have a few chuckles, life is good. Then I get excited because there's a drag queen scheduled to appear (my first mistake). I laugh (mostly internally cause I can be an extremely laid back chick most of the time) at their silly jokes and marvel at the costumes and majesty of it all...

until...

*it*...happens.

Please explain to me why every single time I go see a drag queen at a gay bar/club--ie, TONIGHT, they pick on me in front of EVERYONE..and then whisper into my ear "go along with it honey and I'll buy you a cocktail afterwards."

I'm not your private dancer, Roberta, Calvina, Suede Fantastique....or whoever the eff you are today.

The only one who's never done this to me (*knock on wood*) is the magnificent (transsexual) Candis Cayne from the TV show "Dirty, Sexy, Money" who appears at the Abbey in West Hollywood each Monday. May she never...

< / silly post >

5 comments:

Lori B said...

LMAO! It happens to me too. I always start out just so into it and laugh in acknowledgement and then WHAM I am part of some grand joke/scheme. I finally started always going to the BACK and keeping my giggles to a minimum.

LOL...I turn bright red if I am called out in public and made center of attn...

Lori

Minnie-sota said...

Sorry they are annoying you, Arlan!

Jincey said...

Candis Cayne is HOOOOOOTTTT.

glennishamorgan said...

Ay yi yi. I hope this never happens to me.

Southern Comfort said...

I know what you mean, your abc points are the same for me! and then they want to grab your boobs on top of it. If anyone is getting a free feel, make it someone hot with a natural pair of her own!