10. Rachel Shelley on a Treadmill.
You see, the scene was probably only 5 or 6 seconds. But let me tell you why it will last in my heart, for a lifetime--or like, at least 2 weeks. For one, Helena aka "My SECOND WIFE, Rachel Shelley," was in tight clothes. Because of this, we were able to see her body parts almost as if she were wearing nothing at all. Second of all, she was also running (actually it was a weird hopping thing), therefore her body was in a vertical up and down movement. I'll invite you to look at the diagram and 3D mock-up I've created using entirely edible confections. If you turn your attention to the left side of your screen and--wait, I'm getting a signal from my producer: --What? We can't secure the rights to manufacture an edible Rachel Shelley doll? I don't understand. She thinks what is creepy?.... oh I see. Ok. You win some, you lose some.
9. Tina's Bald, Angry Boss is Annoying as "Fuck."
No. There's nothing more to it.
8. Angela Robinson is Still the Best Director the Show's Ever Had. If you read my lists from last season, you know that I'm a big fan of Angela's directing and writing work on The El. She directed one of my favorite episodes of all time last season--you know, the one where they ate the weed brownies and had that big lezzy party?--and she directed this episode as well. And no matter what beef I have with large scale plots (or lack thereof) and character issues (*coughwhodatcough*) and character disappearances (*coughwheresbabygirl?somebodycallchildprotectiveservicescough*), I ALWAYS find myself absolutely loving the episodes she directs. The actresses seem to have a lot more fun when Angela's at the helm, and there's more improv, which makes it more natural and funny. It was also nice to see the quick cameo Angela had pitching the vampire movie to Tina in her office. LONG LIVE "GIRLTRASH!!"
7. Shane Boobs.
But where were Jenny's? Is there a clause that states you can't have both powerhouse boobs on the screen at once? Or maybe its something about the fact that if all 4 of them were out, they'd be touching and running amuck. In any case, I want my Jen-Boob-Bies. (That was supposed to sound like "I want my MTV"...did it work? *sigh*) Oh and, thank god they brought Jenny's dog back. I was getting hella worried.
6. EVERYONE's Reaction to Shane and Jenny.
Although I think an even better reaction would have been executed a bit like this:
Simian Mobile Disco - Hustler
5. "Studio Fifty-Fo??" You Have Got to be Kidding Me!
Look here. Pam Grier is an articulate, badass, classy lady! Why in the EFF do they have her saying "Studio Fifty-fo" all up in the L Word.
Look at this:
Mmmhmmm...that's the ONLY "part of Pam that is Kit." Not a "fo'" or "dat" in the mix. Stop it, Ilene. Stop it.
4. Mia Kirshner Describing Alice's "Unique Vocal Range." Mia was hilarious in this episode.
I also wanted to remind you guys that Mia Kirshner, along with 3 other co-authors, has released a book about refugees called "I Live Here." It's amazing to me how this is the same woman we watch every Sunday:
You should read these comments about the book. I think you can find it in most large bookstores.
3. You Can NOT Tell Me That This Was Kit's First *tam* Ever Getting a Text Message.
My mom is 2 months older than Kit and she will text me to tell me every *TAM* "that little girl"--mom code for "Reese Witherspoon"--has a new movie out. Or any *TAM* she wants to know if a certain woman is gay--my gaydar is AMAZINGLY accurate, but she thinks I invented it. My mom will text me if Simon says something extra cruel to Paula or if she needs to know the name of "that little bald-headed boy on that show with that father, you know!" So you can not tell me this is the first time Kit's seen a text come through. The bitches on that show text more than they talk and no one has EVER texted Kit?? I just thought of something: What if Kit has 47 unread messages from Baby Girl asking her to pick her up from wherever on earth they send her every day??
2. Helena Saying "bloody hell" Almost Made Up for All of Kit's Lines...
...except "studio fifty fo"
Fill in the Blank: "Helena: yo bootiful when you're..." According to Kit's reading of Dylan's note to Helena, the original ending to this sentence was "...angry." But as you well know, there are a plethora of other words that can be used in its place. I invite you to fill in the blank (thats what she said). I'll start you off (that's what she said).
Helena: Yo bootiful when you're...breathing.
Helena: Yo bootiful when you're...all up in my face.
Helena: Yo bootiful when you're...taking all of your clothes off in my bedroom and bein' all like "Arlan, you're the absolute best I've ever had. I didn't truly know what an orgasm WAS until I met you."
1. Alice Through the Looking Glass. I don't know who we need to credit for having the sense to actually talk about something topical and relevant to the plight of the GLBT community in a NORMAL and realistic way, but extreme Juno-kudos to whoever it is. The letter Alice read on "The Look" was pitch perfect, and the whole Alice-uses-her-powers-for-good turnabout was really cool too. Hopefully the message reached a larger audience than the fake View's.
Please watch this:
The first tam I ever saw two girls really kiss was when I watched "The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love" at age 16. I had started wondering about my sexuality after the whole *why is this new female Brazilian exchange student making my tummy tingle?* incident. So with my shiny new driver's license, I did a covert operation down at a small video store I NEVER went to. I thought I was clever doing it this way. No one would ever know. Too bad the dude working there had never heard of the movie and the place was SO small that instead of calling someone in the back room on the phone, he instead shouted across the entire store, "DUDE, do we have something called"--and at this point, I'm sure it wasn't as loud or as in slow motion as it seemed to me, but it went a little something like this: "--INCREDIBLY TRUE ADVENTURES OF TWWWOOOO GIIIIIRLS IN LOOOOOOOVE - LOOOVE - LOOOVE???"
Well I made it through that, went home, popped in the tape and had a few giggles at the clever dialogue and the pretty girls. "I'm still straight. I'm probably just a really cool friend of the community"--I thought to myself. That was until the point where Evie says to Randy, "...unshelter me." I was gay from that point on and I'm not sure if you've noticed or not, but I've never looked back. I actually cried the first time they kissed on screen because I felt normal and free and proud. And turned on. Really, really turned on.
But anyhoo...that is all to say that my bonus this week is for Laurel Holloman. She doesn't get enough love on my blog and she really should. I still don't know how one would go about putting "a trace on the film," but I love Tina all the same. And without Tina, we'd have no Baby Girl, Tibette sex or "tam."