on st. patty's day i met a dude who drives the monorail at disney land. he was a friend of my old roommate's and he came down to san diego to celebrate the holiday. i had never met him and will probably never see him again. but i swear to you, the minute someone mentioned his job to me (to a group of us really), i went nuts. it was as if Elmo himself had just walked through the door. or like, mr. fuckin rogers.
i was in a room full of 20something year olds, but i couldnt help but act a fool. wouldnt you have done the same thing?? i kept asking him questions like i was interviewing him for my magazine. he just wanted to drink some green beer, but i wanted to know how the monorail's steering wheel felt between his manly hands. how does having that much power, feel?? i asked him if he could take me for a ride. it was the first time id ever asked that of a man before. and though it felt foreign and naughty, it felt right. so...so very right.
the man drives the fucking MONORAIL at fucking DISNEY LAND people! thats one of the coolest jobs i can imagine. aaand...ive had lots of jobs. i used to be an usher for concerts in Dallas at the big arenas and outdoor venues. i worked at a movie theater, a bank, a pizza place...i mean, ive SEEN things. but driving the monorail. whew. and did i feel like a dork when i started singing the monorail song from The Simpsons in front of him and moving my hands around? sure. did i seem like a dork when i asked to ride along with him one day and totally brushed off his offer to get me into the park for free? probably. but am i the only one in this blog that can say she was 2 feet away from someone who drives the monorail at Disney Land, has done security at a Stone Temple Pilots show AND has the belly of the pilsbury dough boy?? ABSOLUTELY!
i say all of this to tell you that i have absolutely NO fucking idea whats going on in this video, but its Disney-related. i can only assume (and hope to god) that its some sort of college film project. so if youve ever fantasized about gettin jiggy with it on the Tea Cups ride or callin' out your girls name while she goes down on you in front of Snow White at the opening parade...well i guess this is your cup...of...tea: