Blog Archive

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Pink Ribbon Scars That Never Forget...

UPDATE: Due to popular demand, Rachel has agreed to let everyone see her private writings on a journal she has online. Go to if you want to see more. She'd love to hear from you.

I have a friend named Rachel. Rachel is from Birmingham, England. So far, Rachel is NOT the gay. But believe me, y'all, when I tell you, I HAVE very very hard to change that. *sigh*

So yes, Rachel is a beautiful person inside and out. She recently wrote something on an online journal that is rocking my world right now. It touched me so much that I asked her if I could share it with my readers. I know it wasn't written for a chick, but I think you will all agree that we're all searchin' for a love-slash-happy-obsession like the one Rachel's ready to give out:

It could be good. I could be good, you know? That's the frustrating thing about this all. I mean, I'm a nice person. Sure I'm snarky and sarcastic and easily irritated sometimes, but when it comes down to it, I'm not mean. And I can be really nice. And I'm obsessive, which yeah, could be bad when it's bad, but if it's good then like...I'm yours. And I'll know everything I can know. I'll know what you won't even know. I'll have you figured out like a map; I'll know every route, memorized, veins like rivers tangling over mountains of bone. I'll know the terrain. Soft, rough, smooth, dry; skin like grass, like sand, like shingle.

A sense of ownership. But a gift that could be taken at any moment, not to be taken for granted, but to be cooed over, treasured. Like a doll. I'd know every joint. Your make and break points. The right angle at which to shatter you into pieces, and just the tools to put you back together again. But I wouldn't. Break you. Just memorize every bolt. Every curve under-the-knee shape. I'd know you like a statistic. The angle of your lashes. The blue-green-brown-grey of your irises. I'd look after you. Like a doll.

By the way, I don't have any tattoos and haven't had much of an urge to get any in my 27 years. And I don't wanna get all Will Ferrell-as-James Lipton on your asses by overselling this, but if I were to get a tattoo, it would be of some of these words. Yep.

Oh and Rach, the invitation is ALWAYS open... *making that face*


Sarah said...

This completely blows my mind. So beautiful. Is Rachel's blog (?) open for everyone to read? x x x

arlan said...

hey sarah, yeah i feel you. right now im waiting to hear back from her and see what i can show the world... i want to be very careful about getting her permission to share such private things... but im sure she'll have something for us very soon... and i'll update the post with it!

Laura said...

WOW!!! that was pretty deep and heart-felt to an extent....those words are words that are worthy of using in a tat or two...but which would you chose since the whole work is AWESOME?!? I hope Rachel does allow you to share more of what she has written....always a pleasure to read what you POST Arlan...Keep up the Great work!!!


Anonymous said...

Arlan i think you need to marry her....yup i think that's it!

Kate said...

So beautifully said. I have an Aussie friend like that. Straight (though of course I've tried) but tender and protective. She's taught me that a relationship doesn't have to be sexual or romantic in order to be that kind of intimate and nurturing.

jescas said...


i heart this.

with all my heart.

Sarah said...

i love my rachel. i professed my gayness for her when i read that and then she said we're gonna get married. so BACK OFF BITCHES!

j/k. haha.

but to answer...somebody's question, no, rachel does not have a public blog, but she totally should. she's an amazing writer. and an incredible, beautiful person.

awakenings said...

Wow - I think I've read that ten times. I echo the request to read more of what she writes. amazingly well written.