I have an announcement to make: I'm gaining weight. Now I know this is shocking to some of you, but I do not want to cause you distress. Please everyone, calm down and get back in your seats. I will answer any and all questions you have, if you'll get them to me in an orderly fashion, and stop with your crying.
My belly is round, like Santa's. It's getting rounder. More round. Whichever is the correct way of saying HUGE in an orbital way. It does not help that in the last 30 minutes I have had a 99cent bag of Doritos, about a million Hershey's Hugs, and a bottle of Smirnoff Ice. And it's midnight. *sigh*
Hopefully I'll snap out of this little emotional eating phase I'm going through very soon so I won't have to roll myself to West Hollywood. I like to be light as a feather (and stiff as a board, *wink wink*) when I go trollin' for the ladies. I also like to sit by myself while waiting for friends and spark up conversations with strangers. I'm an extremely curious person by nature and it helps keep me on my toes. Plus by doing this, you sometimes get to meet some really funny chicks who help make you forget about why you're emotionally eating in the first place.
Last week I met this chick named Val. Val is a *gay* I can hear you gasping from here! Turns out Val and her friend (just friends...Val has a girlfriend and I think this other chick Beth is a breeder...the mystery continues though) have this hilarious vlog that a lot of dudes watch. And while it's not super important that they're one-half lezzy, since it really has nothing to do with their talent on screen (in the boudoir? Well thats another question),I think it's time we added some good ol' fashioned LADIES to their viewing audience.
I'd like to introduce you to...
"The Beth and Val Show"
Haha...sarcasm never looked so good. You can add the ladies on their official myspace page at myspace.com/bethandval. Tell em Arlan sent you and I'm pretty sure they'll give you a virtual lapdance.
See lots more of their videos on their website on
www.dotcomedy.com
9 comments:
Lucky for you that whoever you were meeting was late - might not have run into Val and Beth! Those chicks are indeed entertaining as you warned. The emotional eating concept is a bitch - one I can't seem to break (up with) no matter how determined I have convinced myself I have become "this time." And, no matter what weight watchers, the food pyramid, or whatever other source claims....hugs (and lets not leave out kisses) are ESSENTIAL to us females - in all manifestations of those two important words, noun and verb!!
wow, val is hot. actually, they both are.
http://www.myspace.com/nobisx
I eat so much in winter. Well, I eat a ridiculous amount anyway, but in Winter its especially bad because it's so frickin cold that I just want to be comforted all the time by food. And then today I bought a huge bar of chocolate and ate it in a disgustingly short space of time because I was annoyed at the library. Life.
And not that my opinion counts, when it's you that is looking at you, but I think you've been looking very nice lately. Y'know, on your videos and stuff. :]
I really wish that women would stop thinking that thin = beauty/self confidence/dating etc...
I'm heavy and I've been turned down countless dates because of my weight (and I'm not that big). Apparently lesbians don't like fat chicks. I've learned this the hard (read: heart breaking) way.
So Arlan, you are beautiful no matter what! (And that goes to any other women out there!) And I mean that, and I'm sure hundreds of lesbians that read this site will agree with me. :)
jessy, im not really all that concerned that ive gained a few pounds. i just wanted to share the mental image of my santa belly with everyone. hence the "calm down ladies" portion of my post.
i am attracted to women of most sizes. my last girlfriend was 5'7" and 115 pounds naturally. ive also dated a woman who was the same height and 300 pounds. both were lovely and amazing people.
my santa belly on the other hand...is not lovely...but i guess some people might consider it amazing;-)
sorry, i'm an idiot and missed that part. meh.
he he he....I MEAN...ho ho ho!!!....all that girlish explaining makes me giggle. but since I am definitely not going to be a model for my career - i'm going to go back to studying for my finals....
-BOO...hoo ;-P
They’re hilarious and really cute! And I have to say, I have a huge crush on Val! She’s hot! Whenever I watch their videos, I’m just looking at her! And I totally knew which one was “the gay” before they said their names. Go me and my gaydar! I wished it always worked.
Santa bellies are awesome! Especially when caused by too much chocolate! :P Keep up with the herseys (I found a shop in England where they sell them and they are awesome!) One should always be honest with girls RE: eating habits. Last date I went on we both ate massive burgers :D Okay, that didn't go so well 'cause I ended up randoming flicking a piece of red onion straight into her forehead...but it was fun all the same ;)
Post a Comment