Blog Archive

Friday, October 02, 2009

Top 10 Things I Learned While Watching Joss Stone Live Last Night

So if you've been keeping up with my twitter or my facebook, you know that last night I went to a live taping of Jimmy Kimmel to watch Joss' outdoor "mini-concert." I've been a fan for 5 years now, so this was definitely a treat for me. This is what it looked like on national tv:

...and this is what it looked like in my mind while I was there:

...cause that bitch was singing ONLY to me.

10. Joss Stone is one of the hottest beings I've ever laid eyes on.
9. Joss Stone curses like a sailor.
8. I want to be a sailor!
7. Joss Stone is one of the hottest beings I've ever laid eyes on.
6. I am a cougar: Joss is only 22. I will be 29 on Oct. 30th.
5. I like being a cougar!
4. Joss Stone will play a lesbian in an upcoming (ahem) movie:

(This is from last year, and Joss has a NEW new record coming out Oct 20th.)
3. I want to thank Yimmy Kimmel for having Joss on his show. I want to thank Joss for singing her ass off on Yimmy Kimmel's show. And I want to thank the strapless dress Joss was wearing for constantly slipping down. You, my dear strapless dress, are my hero.
2. As much as it pains me, I may have to divorce Katharine Mcphee. I know that's a HUGE announcement since she and I have been married for more than 3 years. But I don't think I can survive if I'm married to Mcphee, Rachel Shelley AND Joss at the same time. When would I have time to breathe?
1. Eh, fuck breathing. Let's DO THIS!

1 comment:

Shaye Dubya said...

Oh... okay. Breathing is highly overrated. And, happy belated birthday.

And, I still just have the one wife, Kate Beckinsale. Although, I have quite a few baby mommas...