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Friday, December 31, 2010

New Queer's Gay. Yeah, I Said It.

Ok, first of all:

...and then also:

...and then what had happened was:

It's OK. I know. And you are welcome.

Hey homeslices! How have you been? Yeah I know I've been MIA in blogland lately, but if you've been following me on facebook or twitter, you know I haven't been keeping too quiet. I post more than your mom does. That's right, I counted.

It's New Year's Eve and one of my resolutions is to blog more consistently, and have a higher boob-per-screen-inch ratio than I have recently. Incidentally, that second part is a resolution I've adopted for my in-person-boob life as well. What I'm saying is: More boobs in my face and all about my person in 2011! Who's with me??

I wanted to give you guys a little present for being so righteously awesome day in and GAY out. Now those of you who've been reading along for a while know that I've posted this video a couple of times. I mean, who wouldn't? It starts with Zoe Saldana going down on Mila Kunis. Believe me, its taken some restraint not to make it my post every damn DAY. But I recently found this *director's cut* version of the clip (just an fyi: its from a movie called "After Sex" with several shorts..and this is the entirety of Mila/Zoe's story). The director rearranged some of the scenes to tell a different version of his story, AND he added a last scene which is now my absolute FAVORITE of the entire thing. You have to check it out.

I highly suggest you watch the entire thing, even if you've already seen the original before, because the story is a bit different now...its sweeter and helps lead up to my fav part which starts at around 8:30mins:


I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you of two things: 1. Mila Kunis can currently be found doin' some very dark and naughty things with Natalie Portman in the stunning movie Black Swan, so high tail it over to a theater near you to get some of that good stuff. It's one of the best examples of *paying it forward* I have ever witnessed...and 2., not too long ago--like a month?--my friend Nikki took me to Robyn's show here in L.A...and we were sitting/standing behind the one and only Zoe Saldana herself.

Here's a list of what I learned/relearned about Ms. Saldana during those beautiful 2 hours. Its my guide for those of you who sit next to or behind her at the next show:

1. Zoe Saldana IS even hotter in person. Bring an extra sippy cup of cold water and face towel to every concert, in case you run into her. You will need it.

2. Zoe Saldana LOVES her some Robyn and is not afraid to show it. The hotness of this sight will overwhelm you. Keep a cool head though, she rolls about 12 deep.

3. Zoe Saldana WILL sing every single word to every single Robyn song at a live show. I'm pretty sure she'd sing Robyn's lyrics at a Nine Inch Nails concert...she LOVES her.

4. Zoe Saldana DOES want to marry her some Robyn about as hard as you want to marry you some Zoe Saldana. Be prepared to outshout her screams of "MARRY ME!!" to Robyn over the balcony, lest ye be outdone.

5. Zoe Saldana CAN & WILL drop it like its hot several times in a row, without spilling a single drop of her 5th beer. Do not be fooled by the demure, sophisticated shell. That chick bad. That chick hood.

I hope your NYE is/has been splendid, and that you get to do exactly what you want. Mine will be spent inside a movie theater, not drinkin sie booze, and hopefully being extremely peaceful, calm, and content. The calm before the storm of what will hopefully be an amazing/life-changing 2011.


nerdmafia said...

it doesn't bother me that you're already married to katherine mcphee and rachel shelley (god knows a british accent is NEVER a turn-off). i have a couple of wives of my own (shout out to rose rollins and rhona mitra). i'm comfortable with an open relationship. marry me. happy new year. and thanks for keeping my yuletide gay ;-)

Anonymous said...

I am in the process of making a fan-video of their (Natalie and Mila) scene's in Black Swan to one of Jen Foster's songs. I will send it to you when I am done for the lesbian stamp of approval! ;)

Anonymous said...

Ah! Thank you! I have been trying to convince my BFF the hotness of Mila Kunis and this is the perfect photo to do so. Also, I've been absolutely dying to go and see Black Swan, but nobody would go with me. I then planned to go on my own, but once I told some friends about the Mila/Natalie action, I have a whole crowd of hormonal guys to go with. ;)

xtina said...

okay, wow...i just now finally got to watch the uncut video from "after sex" with audio cuz i have a lame borrowed computer. but, badly i wish zoe saldana would narrate an erotic lesbian novel..-shivers-

Anonymous said...

I'm a lesbian, totally hot for Natalie Portman. . . but her scene with Mila Kunis in "Black Swan" is just waaaay too weird for me. . . As sad and disappointed as I am to say this, I liked watching her fall in love with Ashton Kutcher in "No Strings Attached" way more. . . That freaky, sexually repressed, lesbian fantasy stuff just wasn't doing it for me. :( I think Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis should do a lesbian romantic comedy together next; that would be more enjoyable. <3