where do i go after yesterday's post? how could i possibly top it?
i decided...i can't. no single video, photograph or paragraph could ever be better than what was posted last night. so i will spend the rest of my waking days trying to get close to it, piece by piece. i watched it like...i dont know, 20 times at least. all the way through. and each time, i heard something new. it was like a pinata full of crazy, and with each strike, you're going to get more *crazy* spilled on your head. but i guess thats better than semen all up in yo brain.
alrighty, so i figured, if i gotta follow that, might as well bring out the big guns. so i give you....rosie y ellen. for your viewing pleashhh-uh...
im glad ellen doesnt talk about being a dyke every single day on her show. that shit would get old really...really..fas....wait a gosh darn minute! i talk about being gay every day. hmmmm...maybe i should write some sort of clause that says i cant. and then....every other post would be of that chick from yesterday and her crazy penis power.
on second thought...
anyway, as i was saying...before i so rudely interrupted myself...we all know ellen is a stone cold dyke. we dont need to be reminded of it every single day. cause when you see her, you think...hmmm...well she's probably about this tall....and im sure her eyes are really pretty in person...ooh and is that another clever way to include a necktie in an outfit? oh...and shes THE GAY. ellen = gay. you know it. yo mama knows it. im sure even the crazy vagina woman knows it.
speaking of, my friend sarah wants me to call that chick's phone line on her show....and have a conversation with her on air. what do you guys think? should i?:-)
7 comments:
call the dyke!!!
call the dyke!!
...
Number 1, I love Ellen && Rosie.. for the most part, but mostly Ellen. Number 2, I love you! <3.... AND number 3, YES, YES you should definitely call the seafood-sperm lady on the air! =DD OH and then post it! =P
Ellen doesn't need to talk about being gay every day on her show...she's still one of my heros. But the fact that the network mandated that she not talk about it is very sad to me. Everytime I think we've made progress in getting people to realize we're human just like them, I hear something disheartening like that.
yes! call the penis woman!!! and make sure you mention red lobster, eating vajayjay, and how semen should never make it all the way up into any woman's brain-- all withing a 2 minute timespan. then you'd be my hero even infinitely more than you already are.
So a few years back or so, my mom and I would always watch Ellen's talk show. No matter what, we had to be home at 3 to watch it. (Great mother-daughter time, huh?) (Oh, and that was the time before she knew I was a big dirty dyke) Anyway, there was this one monologue of Ellen's that I still remember. She was talking about how when being a celebrity, non-celebrity folk use other celebrities to make weird connections to you. Like if someone would see Matt Damon at a dance club and then a few days latter run into Ben Affleck and try to start a conversation based on the sighting of Matt. (Okay, that wasn't her example, that was mine, and it was kind of lame, I'm sorry, but you get the idea, right?) But then at the end she said that she had to take a cab somewhere, and the driver turns back to her and says, "You know, I drove Melissa Ethridge the other night." The audience laughed, and Ellen said, "Ah, I can see where this was going." And then started dancing. That was it. That was the closest I ever hear her talk about being gay, and I always wondered why. I know now, though. And, just in my opinion, Rosie talks about being gay way to much. But she has always had the tendency to take one thing and beat it far past the point of death.
Yes, Arlan, please, please, please call the Penis Power lady. She's is just... fun.
lol, yeah, do the interview then post it. that would be so rad arlan. :)
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