The Only Pole Where Bush Has a Leg Up...

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Raise Your Fist If You Like Boobs

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cause it sounds like "titter"....

i've joined Twitter. peer pressure is a biotch.

join it with me and become my friend? then we can keep up with text messages throughout the day and be EXTRA gay. yay.

http://twitter.com/DailyArlan <--go there.

The Proper Way To Massage a Hot German Chick...

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Remember when the L Word used to be this good?

aw:-)



If you like this blog, click on the cup below to buy me a caramel frappaccino

How Avril's "Girlfriend" Video Should Have Ended...

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God bless Hungary!

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P!nk is my homegirl!

get my new shirt by clicking here...

only 200 are being printed so hurry!

So You Think You Can Prance, Do Ya?

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Whisper Your Secrets Into My Ear...

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P!nk Is The New Gay

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**please note: i'm now posting some of my posts on AOL's Queersighted.com. i will always let you know when its an AOL day so you'll never miss anything. **

Nic in a Frenzy

i woke up this morning and i was like, 'i wanna get my hair did and go get some Glamour Shots done at the mall.'

i was SO not expecting this to happen...


...but im really glad it did.

TRASH talk...

my opinion of GIRLTRASH! is like my opinion of having sex with a drunk chick i picked up at a gay bar in WeHo: i love what they're doing. it turns me on and works me out. but i just need MORE of it, SOONER. you burned me a little with your cigarette and you're spillin shit on the interior of my Dodge Neon, bitch. stop knockin' me in the eye with your elbow, and get on with it.

*ahem*

i want you guys to help me start a movement. maybe not so much a movement...but maybe a sit in. at our laptops. united in one cause: to have the ladies over at GIRLTRASH! give us episodes more often than once a week OR combine episodes to make them longer.

i first introduced you to this project in this post in January...and after a few bumps in the road, they've started screening the web-only vids. they're being premiered every sunday. so far, two episodes have aired. there are lots of interweaving stories and shit...and it stars lots of hot chicks...beatin other bitches up. which id be a fool to complain about.

my problem--one that i share with lots others who left their comments on ourchart about it--is that the first webisode was like...3-4 minutes. it was cool though...gave you a taste and made me go back today to watch it. but today's was like a minute and a half? oh my gosh, becky! no way!

so what i think we should all do is rise up. so, after you've watched the vids at www.ourchart.com/girltrash/ and have seen the hotness, go to their Myspace page @ www.myspace.com/girltrashseries and add them as a friend. leave a comment politely asking them to reconsider their schedule. perhaps a new vid twice a week? or maybe if they have to stick to once a week, at least 5 minutes worth of content, even if it means showing two episodes at once.

last but not least, send them a private message asking them to send some/all of the stars of the series to me. we'll all go to On The Border and kick it. and if i have to be in the middle of an impromptu naked pillow fight, then so be it. i will do it for the team. whatever it takes to unify us all.

the accidental tourist

this one's really quick...but i thought it was interesting.



it made me wonder how many women who are married to men read my blog...and are hiding the fact that they're attracted to other women. or how many have actually left their husbands/longterm boyfriends for women. ive received messages from a few...but i would imagine they represent a lot more who are hiding in the shadows...

i dont wanna get all *Oprahs Gay Wives* on ya...but i thought id just put the question out there...

i'd go straight for...

if only for a day. and i wouldn't do them. and i wouldn't kiss em. or do anything TO them. id just hold them in my arms and rock back and forth all night. and id be SO straight while doing so.

mr. jonny lang:

("Red Light")

Jonny doing what he does best...makin' sweet LOVE to this song. oh, to be that guitar...mmmm...

("A Quitter Never Wins")

my tyson ritter, being totally righteous!


and that other thing he does:


mmmm....

mr Johnny Depp...


and of course, my baby-daddy Kip Dynamite...mmmm...



who would YOU go straight for?? or if you're straight...go gay for?

kann ich Ihre Brust lecken?

ya know what? ive been doin' this whole *being gay* thing for about 10 years now (one reader told me i should have "celebrating being honest for 10 years!" as my headline) and one thing is certain: watching two women DO IT will never, ever, ever get old to me.

i mean think about all the movies and tv scenes and books and websites and pictures and dreams we all must have had/seen involving two chicks going at it. and has it once been like "ah, yeah is the game on?" no! because its the hottest thing in the WORLD.

whats hotter than 2 girls going at it? 3. or 4. after 5, you start to wonder what exactly is going on and how you got there. but its like...its STILL HOT.

there are only 2 women in this clip, but they are German, therefore the hotness counts 2.5 times for them each:


(from the 1997 German movie "Die Konkurrentin")

seriously though, i was watchin' that clip and thinking about what i was going to post, and preparing my bulletin for the day. and i thought...wow, i must have watched thousands of video clips in the past year alone for this site...and this is still SO bloody HOT. i literally said to myself "i fucking love being a lesbian. thank god i am one!"

aren't you glad youre a chick that likes chicks? whether youre a lesbian or bi or whatever you label yourself as (i know i know, not everyone likes labels)...

if you're a curious straight woman or whatevs...and you've never had a chance or the courage to act on your curiousity, leave a comment or send me a message. i wanna hear things. maybe if you whisper it in our ears, the lesbians can collectively make it happen for you. :-)

Johnny and the Mullets!

(www.myspace.com/ilovememorethaniloveyou)

i was told about this band from Essex, UK about a month ago and have been really excited to let you guys know about them. so when i went to their myspace page this morning to listen to their songs again and choose my one or two favs to recommend to you, i found a problem: theyre ALL so fucking good that i can't choose one! so you're gonna have to go check them out and listen to all four. and i have a feeling, it won't be that much of a task for you after hearing just a sampling of one...

when i listen to these girls (yeah thats right, all girl band of 17 & 18 year olds, "some queer, some straight"), i feel sorta British and mega cool. i feel like i'm on the list. and i got the vinyl. and it would be totally fine for me to walk down the street wearing anything these girls are wearing in their pics. its just feel good music...awesome (like...really really awesome) vocals, wicked songwriting and construction...and their myspace page is pitch perfect.

they're having a record release at the end of this month. i wish i could be there, but i do hope they offer a way to buy the album or songs online. might i suggest itunes? i would suggest snocap since it's myspace's official way to sell your music on their site, but i know lots of artists have been having issues with it lately...so i dont wanna send you in the wrong direction.

everyone reading this, stop what youre doin for just a sec and go to www.myspace.com/ilovememorethaniloveyou and set the sucker up to play. i'm currently listening to "baby eyes." but i guarantee you i will be listening to all 4 songs on repeat...most of the day:-)

I Now Pronounce This the Gayest Post of the Week...vraiment!

CLICK HERE FOR TODAY'S POST!

**please note: i'm now posting some of my posts on AOL's Queersighted.com. i will always let you know when its an AOL day so you'll never miss anything. **

no lesbianism, pornography or marijuana? Jesus, what have you done??

hmmm...i don't think she's kidding, y'all:



ok...so my first reaction was to be upset with this chick. a little horrified (like "a little pregnant...")...and i felt sorry for her. but then i realized...there's someone else i need to point my frustrations at. and that someone is my homeboy, Jesus. so here's my open letter to Jesus (that im making up right now):

"DUDE. whats up man? um...i know a lot of people believe in you and turn to you in the best and worst of times in their lives. you're cool as hell. but uh...why'd you take all of ol' girl's GOOD shit away from her? perhaps its because you've never gone down on a woman before, so you didn't know what you were doing to this chick. but let me tell you, its GOOD times. i mean its like...the most fun ive ever had. and ive been to Disney World! (i've even been known to ride the monorail harder than any other bitch out there...from time to time ;-) @ jescas...cause you know, my friend jescas is reading my letter to Jesus)

as i was sayin...i got nothing but love for you or the idea of you bro, but tellin' that chick to give up women, porn and weed...was some shady ass shit. can i please escalate my call to your supervisor? cause i think you made a mistake.

go ahead and take the weed. the vision of you smokin weed on a cloud will make my drunken nights SO much more entertaining. and ya know, take the porn too, if you have a quota to fill. but for the love of...well...YO DADDY...give the woman back her love of pussy!

and while im still sittin' on your lap, i have one last request. please...never, ever...never-ever-ever-ever...take away my love for pussy either. if you ever did, id make a youtube video and id sing the chorus to that Leanne Rhimes song, "How Do I Live?" over and over again.

i won't take up any more of your time. i know you got things to do. by the way, GREAT job on Katharine Mcphee, Cat Deeley, Rachel Shelley and most of the women at L.A. PRIDE this weekend. you're really good at *women*. you should make more of them. ooh! and im sorry i couldn't get you on the list at The Lobby on Santa Monica Blvd Saturday night. it was mayhem. next time fo sho' though!"

These ladies have ALL of my attention for the next few days...

I will be taking a tiiiiny break from blogging to go out and see the sunshine, and enjoy the following festivities...if you are going to be in the L.A. area, i sure do hope i meet you while i'm out!

Friday (June 8th) - Jenny Owen Youngs @ Key Club, West Hollywood, 8:30pm

www.myspace.com/JennyOwenYoungs

_____

Friday thru Sunday - Los Angeles PRIDE in West Hollywood, til the dykes go home!!

_____

Monday (June 11th) - Terra Naomi's first major label single, "Say It's Possible" is released worldwide!

_____

Wednesday (June 13th)- Susie Suh @ Hotel Cafe, Hollywood 8pm



______

i'll be back on Monday-ish!

Jennifer Balls & Norville WeddingBlocker

CLICK HERE FOR TODAY'S POST!

**please note: i'm now posting some of my posts on AOL's Queersighted.com. i will always let you know when its an AOL day so you'll never miss anything. **

"cause i see blood and i know im alive..."

so lets just get this out of the way: i like women with accents, whips, knives, wall restraint thingies, women who kiss each other, freshly made bread, and women.

behold...

(from "Band of Gold")

in 90% of this clip, i have absolutely NO idea what either of these bitches are saying. but it really, really doesn't matter.

superb acting. hot bitches. hot accents. freshly made bread.

and yes, thats Lena Headey from "Imagine You & Me" and "300" about 10 years ago. blimey! or something.

seein' Lena with her short hair made me think of this clip of Kate Moennig...



i miss Salt n' Pepa. and i miss TLC. and boyz ii men. and whitney. but shes coming back.

i feel like doin this:

Remember Mischa, t.a.t.u.s Are Permanent!

click here for today's post!


**please note: i'm now posting some of my posts on AOL's Queersighted.com. i will always let you know when its an AOL day so you'll never miss anything. **

feel cool again with some Houlihan...

the title of this post is further proof that i should not be a poet.

...but this chick should. good thing she is. this girl's over my head, but she hypnotizes me. if you're into Ani Difranco, and you know, lesbians who make you wanna shoop, you'll dig Corey Houlihan.



hear Corey's AMAZING spoken word art right now at www.myspace.com/coreyehoulihan <--

after seeing a poetry slam one night down in san diego, i once attempted to launch my own spoken word career in my bedroom...this is the result of that:



and then...



yeah. not so much.

over the past few months though, i've developed as an artist...so look out for my new side project coming soon. shout out to Lady DC. yalls about to gets schooled, ya heard?

gay jay....

though i'm not a fan of Ray J.'s music, i am a fan of one hot lesbian lip-syncing his music to another hot lesbian...and then making out at the end. and filming it and letting me see it. 3 times.


(thank you to this chick <-- for sending in this clip!)

i have to go to an optometrist tomorrow to get more contacts. i'm thinking that while i'm in his waiting area, instead of flipping through People magazine or learning about the cornea, i'm going to pull up a chair right next to some lovely thang and start doing the same slick maneuver that was so elegantly demonstrated in the clip. i'll have to remember to bring my ipod and stop by 7-11 to get some of those little speakers they now sell there. i'll scope out the room...find a hot honey and then make my move. now the question is, what song to use?

i think the most appropriate song to play out of my recently purchased 7-11 ipod speakers at the optometrist's office to an unsuspecting, 30-something married mother of 2 would have to be........

"My Neck...My Back" <--

don't you think?

once i finish my 4 minute rendition of the song, complete with chair dancing and pussy poppin', i will drench the entire event in *class* (and *ass*, if you will) by suggesting that we hop on over to the Holiday Inn Select thats conveniently located across the street from the eye doc. we'll stop by the grocery store for some of that new warming K-Y thats sold next to tampons...pick up some wine in a box...and we'll be SET.

ladies, i think my LOOOONG drought will finally be over tomorrow.

ooh, but i better remember to actually get the contacts i went in for. hmm...someone text me to remind me?

a sweet song about delicate emotion...

and now i invite you to have a seat, my loves. rest your feet. perhaps pour a glass of your favorite wine. light a few candles...take your mind away from all of the madness of the past week. here, take my hand...we'll float together...

and let us listen to the musical stylings of ms Tanya Manibusan as she takes us on an ethereal journey through loves ups and downs...specifically, the tender ebb and flow of young love gained...and young love denied.

maestro, please...






what makes this video even better is that it was shown to me by none other than ("Lizzy the Lezzy" creator) Ruth Selwyn in a late night msn chat. so thanks Ruth for the heads up!

and if you guys haven't seen Lizzy's brand new vid about L Word, Season 4, check it out right here!

Lizzy the Lezzy L Word special - Part 2 (season 4)