Blog Archive

Thursday, August 30, 2007

"i'm gay. gay as 2 things at a gay parade..."

I had quite possibly the easiest/coolest coming out to a mother in recorded history. Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration. I'll let you be the judge...

I was 16 and had recently come to terms with my sexuality. I had a girlfriend who lived in Germany--yes, my fascination with the internationals has been going strong for years now...it ain't a phase. My girlfriend and I were online chatting with each other, when my mom walked into my room. I quickly covered the screen because I didn't want her seeing what we were typing, even though I'm sure it was quite an innocent conversation. This is how the conversation with my mom went:

Mama: You don't have to hide the screen. I know everything about you that there is to know.

Me: Ha...yeah right. You don't know that I'm pregnant! (cause my mom and I have always had a very friendly relationship where we were comfortable joking like that.)

Mama: What I know about you, you won't be getting pregnant any time soon.

Me: *silent and stunned*

Mama: *looking at my walls like she's searching for something*

Me: What are you looking for?

Mama: An Ellen Degeneres poster.

Me: *silent and stunned*

Mama: *exeunt stage right*

My mom has since watched me go through 3 major relationships with women, and she adores each of these chicks almost as much as I did/do, as if they're her own daughters. She frequently calls me to tell me about something *gay* that she thinks you guys would like to know about. When she went to Chicago for the first time in May and saw the play "The Color Purple," she called me immediately after it was over to tell me about all of the lesbian under (and over) tones. She was saying all of this in front of a woman who has been her best friend for the past 40 years, and I could just hear her pride coming through the phone.

She's also said on more than one occasion that she'd go gay for Oprah and Martha Stewart. Can't beat that with a stick. My mama's just cool, y'all.

I found this chick who had a bit of a coming out on youtube yesterday...she's in high school and I dig her delivery. All you youngsters, check it out. And all you youngsters at heart, watch it and relive your coming out. Let's all hold hands and KumByYa it up in here.

UPDATE: September 21st! Click HERE to see why she had to take down her original vid, and to see her new vids!

See lots more of her videos on her youtube profile youtube.com/EatYourPeas18!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Southern Comfort...

I live in L.A. now and this town is really getting to me. There are a lot of fake people, inside and out. I'm not used to all the drama that goes on here. I'm not used to people not meaning what they say, or people having a hidden agenda when they get all buddy buddy with you. L.A. is definitely not all bad, but today especially, I've been feeling disheartened by it.

So what do you do when you're down in the dumps and you wanna snap out of it quick like? Watch "Designing Women" of course! Don't act like you've never used it as a remedy (especially if "Golden Girls" isn't on at the time). I just watched this episode that I've seen a hundred and one times, but something Julia said really, really struck me and is helping me right now. I thought I'd make this site even gayer by sharing it with you guys:-)


(The part I'm referring to starts at the 3:20 mark (counting backwards) and goes for about a minute. Get it Julia!)

If you're not able to see the vid cause of a slow connection speed or any other reason, Julia says the following:

"In the end it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about you. People are gonna forget you about 10 minutes after you die anyway. The point is you have to be exactly who and what you want to be. Most everybody's coasting along on phony public relations. People who say being beautiful or rich or thin makes them happy, people who are trying to make their marriages or their children seem better than they actually are. And for what? Appearances. Appearances don't count for diddly. When its all said and done, all that counts is what was true and truly felt and how we treated one another...and that's it.

Amen, sister. Amen. I just gotta keep thinking that each day, to keep me grounded and sane in this crazy ass town:-)

Oh, and the following scene is my favorite scene from the entire series...because of this scene, I'm making Julia an honorary lesbian right this second. I crown thee *gay*, Julia Sugarbaker!


If you love where you live, let me know. Why do you love it? What's it like there? Should I pack my bags and move there? ;-) Honestly if I could move anywhere right now, I think it would be Brussels or London. yep...

I Like Girls... + winners announced!

*CLICK HERE TO SEE MY POST TODAY ON AOL'S QUEERSIGHTED.COM...

ABOUT CHICKS WHO DIG OTHER CHICKS. SURPRISING, I KNOW!



(image from: lovegirls.co.uk)




Axe Girl, Uk, band, music, musicool, british, i like girls, punk

p.s. the winners of yesterday's big anniversary random drawing aaare (click)...

1. this chick
2. this chick
3. and this chick

**if any of these is you, please send me a message on myspace at www.myspace.com/idgogayforangelina to claim your prize:-) thanks to EVERYONE who entered and for all of the fantastic comments yesterday. soooo great to hear from you all!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

I Kick...and I Stretch!



I'm totally digging this comedian from Canada named Julia Stretch. I mean, just look at her name. That alone is enough reason to give her a couple of minutes of your time.

But add to it the fact that she's really funny, really cute, and really gay, and you've got yourself a recipe for a good time. I dig her stage presence and her *look*. Two enthusiastic thumbs up:-)

Risky business..


Really gay...



Add her as a friend @ myspace.com/juliastretch and tell her I sent you.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Maria Sharapova, Can You Hear Me?

*CLICK HERE TO SEE MY POST TODAY ON AOL'S QUEERSIGHTED.COM*



maria sharapova, tennis, u.s. open, usa, cbs, us open

"Let's Do This"

GUEST BLOGGER ALERT!! GUEST BLOGGER ALERT!!

by Jescas! (pictured above)


So I was thinking when I heard my first alarm go off at 7:05am, "It's Friday. It's going to be a good night. I'm going to enjoy some NON non-alcoholic beverages and get at 'em. Boy, I love girls!

This is why I love lovin' ladies:

The tank tops. This one is simple. Most lesbians dig tank tops. Tank tops are hot. Keep wearing 'em. Strap on your D-rings ladies, lace up the chucks and put on your crisp tank. Then grab your phone, push the J key, find the name "Jessica" and push send. I'll meet you in the Jack N the Box parking lot.

Hot women walk in slow motion.
Maybe its just me, But what seems like half an hour is really just a minute. It's like a TV show. Hair being flipped, fingers fiddling with things, hot sexy framed glasses being worn. It's like, 'stop it.' Wait, no don’t…lemme Tivo this 'ish so I can watch it again.

Gay guys make me feel fabulous. If a straight guy tells me I'm hot, I think, "Yeah, so is every other thing walking around with a va jay jay and boobies." But if a gay guy tells I'm fabulous, its like a car enthusiast telling me I have a nice car. Its not like a 42 year old divorcee who drives a Dodge Stratus with a "Save the environment, listen to Jesus cuz he's the bomb and my kids not stupid he got a 3.3 GPA" bumper sticker on his car telling ME I have a nice car. Its like, "No shit, it’s a Toyota. I'd kill myself if I drove a Dodge. Hold on lemme go find a pistol". 'Nuff said.

Shows like L Word and South of Nowhere rock my panties. For real. And I like the fact that I can watch them with pride. That I am reminded every episode that this is uber cool, it's on TV, and I get to watch it. I like the fact that they create these little communities of lesbians and bring them together. You know how many girls I've talked to about SON and LW??? Soooo many. And they were hot. ARE hot. *makes "come hither motion"*. Ahem.

We can have sex for hours. AND every minute is as good as the one you're in, the one you WERE in and the one you will be in. Keep doing it, doing it, and doing it wild. Then tape it and send it to me. I need to do some research for the next blog.

So….see you guys in the Jack N the Box parking lot? Sweet.

Have a good Friday!

-J



Note from Arlan: see Jescas' previous blog entries here and here:-)

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I Wish I Were a Lesbian

*CLICK HERE TO READ MY POST TODAY ON AOL'S QUEERSIGHTED.COM!*



I wish i were a lesbian, song, video

Purple kisses...



I've been a fan of the Lovegirls site since it first launched a few months ago. It's executed SO well. And it's about British lesbians. I needn't say more, gov'na.

Here are two things that they've recently done to make me love them even more:

1. Their new "Wall of Kisses", where they invite you to send in pictures of you kissing your girlfriend/significant other, and look at other chicks doing the same. Brilliant!

2. Their article about the purple string idea I came up with last December.

from the Uh Huh Her show in L.A.



15 seconds. yep cause thats all my cell phone can handle:-)

the show was on Sunday in L.A. at their label's office. it was a LOT of fun! if you guys have any questions about the show or the day, let me know and i'll answer them in the comments!

here's some AWESOME footage from in front of the stage that someone else posted on youtube...45 more seconds;-)


Uh Huh Her is Leisha Hailey & Camila Grey.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Monday, August 20, 2007

Want to laugh for 8 minutes?

I aim to please:

(Gina Yashere)

I met this chick yesterday, and she's just as fabulous in person. Thank you to Louise from england for originally telling me about her!

See more clips right now on Gina's youtube profile and visit her official site at www.ginayashere.com.

"Just. Stop. It."

GUEST BLOGGER ALERT!! GUEST BLOGGER ALERT!!


by Jescas! (pictured above)

Okay here's a little something about myself:
I hate weird things. For instance: smiley faces (the classic yellow ones), the peace sign symbol (I hate it even MORE when it's in rainbow colors), tie-dye, hello kitty crap, and those tiny little erasers that kids spend 500 chuck-e-cheese tickets on that cost them [you] 50 bucks to earn because the damn kids don't know how to throw a skeeball.

SO, just to start off bluntly...by no means is popping your collar okay. It's one of those weird things I hate. People close to me know how I feel about popped collars and the bag o' douches that do it but now you guys get to know. For instance, right now I am wearing a collar that, technically, SHOULD be popped. But do I have it up? Is it lightly grazing my ears? No. I see people doing it and I just want to walk right up to them and give them a mean letter that I end with a frowny face....Or take their birthday away. Either way, I would make them cry. True story. If you do this, just stop it. Curious about how to identify a douche? Go here.

Also in today's post comes a little vocab lesson. iDouche. Use it. Yell it. Love it. Make someone feel lame by using it. You've seen them. They're the guys that are obsessed with their iPhones. The ones that clip it to their belt loop. The ones that have all the matching accessories including the blue tooth wireless headsets. With that said, here comes another word for ya...BlueTool. They are the people that never take off their headsets. I once saw someone wear one at dinner during a date. I feel bad for the girl he was with. She was hot. He was too busy fiddling around with his headset to butter her bread. No ones bread should go unbuttered. I'd butter her bread. I'd butter it real slow.

Ugghh, just talking about all those douche bags and iDouches reminds me why I love the "Ladies". I like girls. They're hot. They can call me anytime. I wish I could ride in the desert on a horse, with four of them holding onto me tightly, giggling at all my stupid jokes and wearing nothing but bikinis and pigtails. Ok, I'm lying. I'll take one just to cuddle with me on the couch while we watch South of Nowhere and discuss just how hot Spashley is. Any takers?



Hope everyone doesn't have a bad case of the Monday's!

-J

Note from Arlan: see Jescas' previous blog entry here:-)

Sunday, August 19, 2007

My Favorite Couple Of The Week

*Click here to go to my post on AOL's Queersighted.com!

Any 'Sex And The City' fans?

I totally stole this from my fellow Queersighted.com blogger Richard, but it was too good not to share with you!

**TO SEE A HIGHER QUALITY VERSION OF IT WITH GREAT SOUND, CLICK HERE!!**

Seriously...if you watch the first minute of this and don't laugh out loud, you and I need to reevaluate our friendship...


What did you think of it? I love that "Mona" from Who's the Boss is in it! She's one of my favorite tv tramps. :-)

Thursday, August 16, 2007

My 1st Ourchart.com post - Kama Sutra for Dummies


**Click here to read my first post on Ourchart.com's The Hookup!!



Kama Sutra, sex positions

"Usually my ass leaves the impression, not the other way around..."

**GUEST BLOGGER ALERT! GUEST BLOGGER ALERT!!**


Waffle Panties?
by Jescas! (pictured above)

Yes, that's right. I said "Waffle Panties." I dont mean edible undies, you freaks. Although, if Aunt Jamima ever gets tired of showing off her boobies for the syrup bottle, she could make some extra cash by making waffle flavored undies. So, I spent the entire day wearing some weird Victoria's Secret panties that look like this. (If you didnt get a good look at em, go ahead, click the link again. I wont tell your mom you're really staring at the girl) I found these buried deep in the recesses of my dresser. I tore through my drawers trying to find something that more closely resembled these. Hot right? I know. Instead I wore the horrible lacy undies.

I did this for two reasons. A: I was all out. All my other underwear was hang-drying or dirty. And B: I wanted something to blog about. You see? I sacrificed my ASS for this. So now that I am at the end of my day, my ass is waffled. The thick lace has left an impression on my ass. Usually my ass leaves the impression, not the other way around!

Moral of the story kiddies: Unless you enjoy the feeling of tough lace branding your ass, don't wear lacy Victoria's Secret hip hugging undies.

Now the underwear I personally like is ALL ova this vid. Not to mention, its displayed in the classiest of ways. Go 'head, give your eyes some candy:


*Note from Arlan: I love what my friend Jescas has to say about just about everything...so I asked her to write for the blog every once in a while. Show her some love:-) Also, I am currently NOT looking for any other guest bloggers. If that changes, I will definitely let you guys know! For now, sit back and watch that vid again;-)

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

I'm gonna be naked on Suicidegirls.com!!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Hot Lesbian Date

Click here to go to my post on AOL's Queersighted.com! There are aussies and lezzies and ties. Oh my!




lesbian, dating, date, australian, aussie, australia, tie

Aw, look at Mcphee butchin' it up, just for me!

...and that rhymed.

you know what? my friend shastina is the wind beneath my wings and my rock, all at the same time. her wings, carry my rock, on a day to day basis.

she just snail mailed me some tear outs from the Summer/Fall issue of Cosmo mag. The pictures are delicious, but the quotes are to die for...



One of the pull quotes reads: "I love wearing some of my boyfriend's stuff, especially his shirts."

My answer to that is: "Her boyfriend is a 40-year old dude. Her wife is a patient 26-year old tall drink of mocha named Arlan. And her boyfriend's stuff looks best when it's on my bedroom floor."

Another pull quote reads: "I can hang with the guys. My dad ended up with two girls, so I was as close as it came to a boy."

My answer to that is: "Uuuh huh. You ain't never lied. And I wish it said "gays" instead of "guys" and "boi" instead of "boy." Let's really help your dad out and make a real man outta ya. I have already jotted down 14 ways we can get started."


When will I stop posting about Mcphee? After our first child is born. Agreed? K.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

South Of Nowhere Season 3 Premiere



Howdy do! This is just a post for you guys to vent your praise and criticism of the premiere last night. What did you guys think??

Feel free to post your thoughts about the episode that aired last night, but PLEASE do not post spoilers about upcoming episodes.

I'll write my thoughts in a comment...so as not to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet (*cough*jescas*cough*)...

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Carla Gugino: Milk Does a Body Good



I think we can all agree that the movie "Troop Beverly Hills" was one of the true masterpieces of our time. Why it didn't win an Oscar for best picture is totally beyond me. I'm considering asking for a recount. But it was...18 years ago. A more innocent time. A more naive time.

Long before we knew Jenny Lewis would become an
indie rock goddess, she rocked her way into our hearts in an effort to sell the most cookies this side of Wilshire. Long before Rosario became Karen's real only true love on Will & Grace, she let the kids know that she don't need no stinking patches, and neither do we. The diamonds in the rough that came out of that movie are far too many to list. But today, at 1:30 in the a.m., I want to spotlight one of the young ladies, Carla Gugino. You loved her then as a 13 year old with a tough exterior and a heart of gold, and today, you love her for ALL that body, and all this gay wetness:


(from the 1996 movie "Jaded")

From the reviews I've read, it's not even worth looking at the dvd case, let alone renting and watching the whole thing. I hear there's all sorts of female on female rape nastiness, bad acting and bad hair. None of these things are appealing to me in the least so I've given you the best 20 seconds of it.

And since I just watched an hour of Cat Deeley on tivo and am in a good mood, I'll give you this bonus clip from Carla's recent work on HBO's "Entourage."


Who was your favorite girl scout in Troop Beverly Hills? Mine was a tie between Jenny Lewis (there was somethin about her even back then) and that little black girl who could sing like Mavis Staples. I wish she would come to my 27th birthday party and sing for me all night. Where are you little Mavis Staples? Where are you??

Sunday, August 05, 2007

The Advocate says "Ew!"

lol...



I've been waiting for someone to post this clip from SNL! Oh man...it doesn't get much better than that. I'm going to have to insist that Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, and (not featured here) Kristin Wiig all move in with me at once.

P.S. this new video is so necessary.

Ileeeeene, Are We There Yet?

*Click here to go to my post on AOL's Queersighted.com about L Word withdrawals!


SuicideGirls.com - Pin-Up Punk Rock and Goth Girls
Punk Rock Pinup Girls

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Anna Faris, Adam Sandler...and Mcphee??

A reader just sent this to me. That reader is now the wind beneath my wings.



And this is a few minutes later where Katharine lets everyone know about the new movie she's filming with Anna Faris (YAAY!!) and Adam Sandler. I will not stalk this film set. I will not stalk this film set. I will not...aw, who am I kidding?



Anna Faris is the fucking BOMB...if the name doesn't ring a bell, she's the crazy main chick from all the Scary Movie movies and "Just Friends"...I hope something like this happens with her and Mcphee...let us all bow our heads to pray:

Thursday, August 02, 2007

I told y'all to stop it...

I didn't even know Jerry Springer was still on. Thanks to kick ass reader Jess in North Carolina for sharing this with us. Definitely watch the whole thing cause it's very entertaining. But try not to pay too close attention to what they say, cause you might lose a few brain cells in the process.



If you didn't laugh at least 3 times during that, give me a call and we'll discuss your need to loosen up.

On a completely different note, does anyone know if Mike Myers plans on doing an Austin Powers 4? I saw the first one again on tv the other night AND plus there was that scene with Jerry Springer. So I guess its not too random. He seriously needs to give me more of all 'lat though. Please Mike Myers? Please?