We Now Return You To Your Regulary Scheduled Programming

I'm gonna be pretty busy between now and next Monday, so forgive me if I miss a lesbian moment or two. If I get stuck on a moment, I'd like for it to be this one...for obvious reasons:



Reflect.

While you're hanging out, click on the archives below to experience more *moments* from deep in my heart...and pants:

November 4, 2007

November 11, 2007

November 18, 2007

November 25, 2007

December 2, 2007

December 9, 2007

December 16, 2007

December 23, 2007

December 30, 2007

January 6, 2008

January 13, 2008

January 20, 2008

Chicago, February 3rd @ Hydrate

If you live in Chicago or are going to be visiting this Sunday, February 3rd, I'll be hanging out at HYDRATE to watch the L Word. It would be awesome to meet some of you guys outside of L.A.! So if you see me, say 'sup. OR send me a message and let me know if I should look out for you.

Hydrate is located @ 3458 N. Halsted. I've never been, but I believe we can expect some boobs, booze, and some more boobs. And drink specials. And perhaps a song or two.

I'm gonna be going from 60 degree weather in L.A. to below freezing in Chicago. Come keep me warm and sane!!

Oh, and help me find Oprah!!

Jenny Crazy, Y'all.

I used to be a Jenny hater in the first and second seasons. But something turned around somewhere and I realized how talented Mia Kirshner is. I think I realized it right around the time I saw her on an episode of "24" and saw that she had really created an entirely separate character in Jenny.

She still crazy. But it's a different kind of crazy:


Here's a recent interview from Ourchart.com:


And of course my absolute favorite fan video about Jenny's character throughout the seasons, done by Laura in Montreal:

(Click here to go to Laura's youtube page.)

Tuesday Girls' Nights in L.A. Are BACK!

Top 10 Reasons Season 5, Episode 4 Was Half-"Huh?"/Half-"Hooray!"

10. She doesn't know "soap stone??" You guys already know my opinion of the genius that is Bette's sign language lernin' abilities. But I was confused in this episode. Bette knows every nook and cranny of the language of Sign, but she doesn't know the words "soap" and "stone?" I think those would have been two of the first words I learned in any language. She knows "dilettante," but neither "soap" nor "stone?" Hmm. That's a chin tapper. While studying the language on the "best website" she could find for sign language, she thought she might have to know how to say the words "traumatized," "shadow" and "dilliatante," but not "soap??" In case you weren't obsessing over this like I was and missed it, here it is again:


9.It was just a day at the Beech. How in the frick did Beech get to be so damned cool all of a sudden? Literally overnight. Cliterally, Over. night. One minute he's about to sell Tasha down the river, next minute after his wife says a few things to him and he's instantly cured of all of his prejudices, he's over at the dykes' house havin dyke tea and dyke crumpets? I think not!

8. Dimbo? Denbo? Uh oh. I don't know. I just don't like that that is her name. Change her name or somethin. And SheBar? Um...could you BE any more GirlBar if you tried? And I know you tried and thats the point. But it's like. Dimbo. Shebar. My lover. I feel like if I ever meet Elizabeth Ziff, she's gonna have some choice words for me. I'll listen to em. Then I'll be like..."ok I understand what you're sayin and where you're coming from, but really? She didn't know how to say "soap stone?" Are ya kidding me??"... And then I'd be kicked out of the VIP room at Girl SheBar.

7. They finally gave Foxxy a gun, y'all. Watch out sucka! They've got Kit doin' some awesome work with the self defense stuff and the way she's handling (so to speak) the gun situation. But every once in a while they still gotta throw in lines like, "welcome to the hood." Why come, Ilene? Why come? It's at a point now where every time Kit says a line like this, I immediately start humming "When Moses was in Egypt's land...let my people goooo' to myself. Hmmm...while we try to figure that out, just look at this pic of Pam Grier from...the past. Mmmm...:



6. Thanks...Jennys...Left Boob. I've missed it SO. And she took it out for me and jiggled it and everything. You know those annoying commercials for some sort of chicken where the mom serves the brats some chicken, and then time freezes and the kids stand up from whatever theyre doing and they give a speech about how wicked awesome the chicken is and how radical the mom is. And at the end they go, "Thanks...Sam's Mom." Or whatever. That's how I felt when Jenny showed me her left boob last night. And I don't care what the haters say, I'm in love with Jenny this season. She's an absolute terror. Mia Kirschner is acting the HELL out of what she's been given (like she does every season). My advice for those of you who want to send Jenny off in a little row boat down by the river, is to just relax and go with it. Watch the little things like Shane stroking Jenny's hair at the gym for no good reason. It's fun!

5. Mmmm...more boobies: Yum and Yummer. Once again, the writers listened to our pleas last year when writing this season. We asked for simple things like food and water, shelter, perhaps a bread crumb and a lemon...and some major tit action. Major boobs. Areolas. Nipples, hard and soft. Big and small. You name it. (I certainly did.)

4. Meet my lover, Alicia Leigh Willis. Who the hell still says "this is my lover?" Oh well. Doesn't really matter cause just as I was getting really purturbed by that particular writing (Ziff...I mean YOU), they put Alicia Leigh Willis' breasts all up in my face (and back, and side area). Not only that, they gave us 6 breasts for the price of 4. Another thing I asked for last year during my open letter to Ilene and her Pussy Patrol was for more REAL threesomes. Fleshed out, if you will. And indeed, they answered the call. I cant tell you how many times I've been in that situation where I've had Alicia's supple breasts pressed against my back. And let me tell you, it ain't easy sharing her. So Juno-kudos to that Dimbo chick for going the extra mile for our Shane.


Tied for 2. French and Ford...Ooh la la!

Last night I met Kate French, the actress who was introduced in this episode as Nikki Stevens. She's mega hot. And mega nice. And mega down to earth and excited to be on the show. And mega...hot. Two thumbs up from this roving reporter. Hee. I've always wanted to say those two phrases, and I get to say them in the same sentence! Yeehaw. Shout out to Kate's roommate too. Cool beans. This is Kate aka my next "lover."


I also met Cybill Shepherd's daughter Clementine Ford. She's flippin sweet too. I tell you what, they're growing these young starlettes prettier and nicer than they have in a long while. I'm looking forward to her role on the show starting in an episode or two. Oh and this is a picture of Cybill from a few years ago. This is NOT Clementine, but might as well be because she's the spit'n image of her mama at this age:


Bi the way, did you know that "spit'n image" is derived from olden days when african americans (that'd be my people) used to say that someone was the "spirit and image" of someone else. And over time it was passed on phonetically to spit'n image. Yep.

1. Tibette. Hard.


If you still haven't subscribed to Showtime, get your act together and call up that bitch. There are like 7 or 8 episodes left. Jump on it!

Danelle Phillips

I've talked about my friend Danelle Phillips before. But she keeps adding new music to her myspace page and bein' all awesome and shiz, so I feel compelled to mention her again. I don't believe she is *le gay* but she rocks hard, has an awesome talent and makes me happy...so we'll call her an honorary one for the day:-)

Here's a little vid I took of Danelle one laaate night in Oklahoma a few years ago when we first met. The geetar was totally out of tune, and everyone was pretty drunk (cept me, I don't touch the stuff;-) )...but she impressed me sooo much. And it's still my favorite song of hers:


Fronting her band "Congress of a Crow" on a local tv show...


And here's an interesting video I found on youtube where she's just "chillin" with a friend:


To hear my 4 favorite Congress of a Crow songs so far, go to their Purevolume page @ purevolume.com/congressofacrow.

Add Danelle's solo music page @ myspace.com/danellephillips

Add Congress of a Crow as a friend @ myspace.com/congressofacrow.

I wonder what would happen if she tried out for American Idol...

Candy.

Since subscribing to Showtime again for the L Word a few weeks ago, I've had this movie on my DVR. Something about it's description and the 2 minutes I saw randomly one night stuck out to me. I like movies that are really slow and you get to see the characters developed and fleshed out well. The movie is called "Candy," and was released in 2006. Today I'm finally watching the entire thing.

These are breathtaking performances by Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish. If I can get one person to rent this movie soon and get to experience it, I will be happy. Here's the trailer. Be warned that even though the trailer's pretty middle of the road, the movie is all about heroin addiction and is gritty and full on. This ain't a family movie type thing, is what I'm saying:


("Candy")

Attention: L.A. & Surrounding Area Bartenders/Dancers

What are you guys doin' tonight?

This is what I'm doin:


Yeah. pretty much. This and so much more happens every Friday night at Here Lounge in West Hollywood. These ladies bartend all night and then jump up on the bar Coyote Ugly style to rock out a few times. They serve you up and then send you home wet. It's good times. Oh, and did I mention, it's a LESBIAN night?? Yeah.

Charlene and her rowdy dykes who put on this "TRUCKSTOP" night and several others around L.A. (which are so popular, they're being featured on a new LOGO TV show this summer. More details soon!) are holding auditions for a new TRUCKSTOP dancer. If you live in or near L.A. or can be here on Fridays and for rehearsals, and you're a licensed bartender and great dancer, check out the flyer below:


(That email address is Charlene@MessinaBaker.com ...with an "i" like "eye")

Everyone else, make sure you go to TRUCKSTOP when you're visiting L.A. next time! Also not to be missed by the same promo group, L Word Sunday nights at the Falcon on Sunset Blvd, Tuesday nights at Eleven at Santa Monica Blvd & Larabee and Thursday nights at Here Lounge at Santa Monica blvd & Robertson.

From the Hip

Reader Heather sent this vid in. She wanted to share it with us cause...well cause Heather's a frickin' GENIUS. Juno-kudos to Heather and Juno-kudos to this chick whose name I can't quite catch (but does it really matter? ;-) ):



I love educational programming. Don't you?

Idol Soul

While putting together my Ani Difranco post, I came across this chick. All I've been able to figure out is that her name is Nic and she's from the South.

...And that she's AWESOME and needs to be featured on Youtube, STAT. Tracy Chapman, anyone? Oh and um...I'm *ASSuming* again. You know what;-)

Nirvana cover:


A message from Nic:

(Editor's note: she doesn't "get" the Chapman comparisons?? Oh and yeah, she had a "partner." I bet she did. Haha)

Ani Difranco cover:


Visit her youtube profile at http://youtube.com/profile?user=southernfolkrocr !

R.I.P. Heath Ledger

This is from the New York Times minutes ago:

Actor Heath Ledger Is Found Dead

By Sewell Chan

The actor Heath Ledger was found dead this afternoon in an apartment building at 421 Broome Street in SoHo, according to the New York City police. Mr. Ledger was 28.

At 3:31 p.m., a masseuse arrived at Apartment 5A in the building for an appointment with Mr. Ledger, the police said. The masseuse was let in to the home by a housekeeper, who then knocked on the door of Mr. Ledger’s bedroom. When no one answered, the housekeeper and the masseuse opened the bedroom and found Mr. Ledger unconscious. They shook him, but he did not respond. They immediately called the authorities. The police said they did not suspect foul play. Officials said pills fear found near the body.

Mr. Ledger, a native of Perth, Australia, won acclaim for his role as a co-star in “Brokeback Mountain”, a 2005 film. The film, based on a short story by Annie Proulx about two cowboys who fall in love, won critical acclaim. Reviewing the film in The New York Times, the critic Stephen Holden wrote, “Mr. Ledger magically and mysteriously disappears beneath the skin of his lean, sinewy character. It is a great screen performance, as good as the best of Marlon Brando and Sean Penn.”

Mr. Ledger met the actress Michelle Williams while filming ‘’Brokeback Mountain.” The two actors fell into a very public romance. They had a daughter, Matilda Rose, who was born on Oct. 28, 2005. They moved to Brooklyn, but then separated last year.

Calls by The New York Times to Mara Buxbaum, a publicist for Mr. Ledger, and Steve Alexander, the actor’s agent, were not immediately returned this afternoon.

Thomas J. Lueck contributed reporting.

28. I'm in shock.

I know it's depressing, but this song by Terra always helps me with things like this:

("Go Quietly" by Terra Naomi)

*Today* Is the Day I Wanted to Say This:

Congratulations to Denise Simmons for becoming the first black lesbian mayor in the U.S.A. !

Top 10 Reasons Season 5, Episode 3 Was One of My Favorites in the Series:

**SPOILER ALERT FOR the episode that just aired. SPOILER**

10. We learned that Bette is officially the smartest human being on the face of the planet. Bette has learned EVERY word in sign language. And in just a few days! No I'm serious. She learned the word "dilettante." In sign language. Before you yell at me, I know Jodi spelled the word. But she spelled it super fast and not all the letters. I didn't even know what the word meant before last night, let alone how to spell it, and in sign language. Wow Bette. Just...wow.

9. She "got it from Rico...the neighborhood thug." Haha, remember that song from the early 90s?? Shane's a dope clit fiend...and she needs mo. They keep tellin her to stoooop...but she says go. And it's GREAT. Haven't had this much fun with Shane since she stole shit with Alice and Bette last season.

8. Will somebody just listen to Max's podcast already?? He knows everything about 'puters. He's workin with topnotch video equipment--that he personally called by its name and everything, and he's rockin a MAD cool soul patch for what seems like years. He can probably put together a wicked mixtape and podcast. Give the man a chance. Put him in the game, Coach. (But uh, sidenote to the writers: The character you've made Alice out to be would NEVER ever be such a bitch to Max for being transgender. In the first season, you had her fucking a MAN who identified himself as a lesbian. She put his penis all up in her vagina. And you think a couple years later she's gonna hate on a chick for being true to herself. That ain't even cool. Stop the madness.)

7. We learned that Rose Rollins can act her ass off. I mean seriously, didn't know she had it in her. But she killed those lines in this episode. I was fired up for her. I was halfway done lacing up my commando boots getting ready to enlist before I realized it was just a TV show. She's got mad skills. Keep em coming! Oh and I met Rose last Thursday night in West Hollywood and she was REAL cool, y'all. Just as you would imagine. Really nice, patient...laid back. Hot. Ahem.

6. Shane's hair in this:


5. Helena's EVERYTHING in this:


4. After getting held up at gunpoint, Kit did NOT say "Imma get you sucka!" and kick the gun out of the dude's hand. She had a rational, non-stereotypical reaction to a high-pressure situation. I took a sigh of relief. Then I yelled at the screen, "Imma get you sucka!" Cause nobody messes with my Kit baby.

3. Two words: Boob and bies. They were EVERYWHERE this episode! I mean boobies, running a muck at the gym, in the locker room, all up in Tina's face...all up in that other chick's face. Natural ones. "Augmented" ones. Left ones. Right ones. Side shots. I think I even saw one upside down in a mirror at one point. It was boobies galore. It was a boobie FANTASIA. I totally motor-boated my screen on a couple of occasions. Good stuff.

2. Today's show has been brought to you by the words "Fuck" and "Fucking." I'm sayin...it's like Showtime told the writers, "Ok you get to use a total of 50 "fucks" this whole season." And then 3 episodes into it, Ilene was all, "Hey you GUYS! We totally forgot to use our fuck points in the first two episodes. We'll LOSE them if we don't USE them." So the race to see who could say "FUCK" the most times in one episode was on. I didn't take score, but I think Tasha won that shit. I mean fuck.

1. Bosom Buddies is right! You know I've been a fan of Holland Taylor's ever since she was Tom Hanks' boss on "Bosom Buddies" in the 80s. She kills it as Charlie Sheens mom on "Two and a Half Men," and I hope she's getting paid double her normal rate for her screen time on The El...cause damn she lights up a scene. And the absolute best line of the entire season so far was Peggy Peabody's response to a jailer's catcalls to "let me eat your pussy." My jaw dropped when she said this bit of poetry (who wrote it, by the way?)

Were I receptive to such a proposition, it would first require a full booty check. (pause) And were you to pass muster, baby I'd give it to you family style.

Brava!

Now I would like for Ilene and her pussy posse to approach the bench, cause there's a serious, SERIOUS matter to discuss. Um...I know you're just messing with me. I know you haven't lost your goddamned minds and written Helena completely off the show. I know y'all wouldn't do me like that after all this time we've had together. I ain't gonna cry, alright. Cause I'm a soldier and that's not how I ride...but um...ahem...Imma let you know that I'm a little emotional right now, alright? That's my girl. That's my bitch. My dawg. My dilettante, if you will. So lay it out for me real quick like. Are you gonna bring my baby back (I want my baby back baby back baby back), or am I gonna have to find you at Gay Pizza on Santa Monica and throw some bows? Naw, I'd never get into real fisticuffs with you. That's not my style. I'm just gonna get back in the fetal position though, and rock back and forth...til this nightmare is OVER. HELENAAAAAAAA!!!!

Ahem. But yeah, the use of UH HUH HER's "Explode" to send Helena off was off the HOOK, wasnt it?? Bonus points for that shit. Credit where credit's due. Just um...bring Helena back. Alright.

I Want You to Sing With Rapture and Dance Like a Dervish.

I'm watching the tail end of "Meet Joe Black" on TV right now and drooling over Claire Forlani. The thing is, I remember seeing this in the theater when I was in high school...and drooling over Claire Forlani. Did 10 years really go by that fast?? I'm slightly horrified (can you be slightly horrified?) and feeling misty at the same time. Oh them were the days.

I remember the time I found out Claire is British. I probably choked on something or fell out of a chair and/or couch. Meaning I probably fell out of a chair, crawled back onto a couch, and then fell out of it with the aftershock of the whole thing. She's amazing. Hot...those eyes...and then um, she's BRITISH. Have I mentioned she's British and hot?

In this clip, you'll see her totally doing a pre-Jolie Brad Pitt in a lovely scene where Brad's so soft and nubile, it's almost like Claire's doin a chick:

("Meet Joe Black")

Little-known fact: I originally played the backing music to that scene on set to help the actors stay in the moment. I was pulled off set shortly into it though once producers realized there was some dyke playing piano on their closed set. So what if I didn't get ASKED to do it? When you're passionate about something, you're passionate about it. Ya know?

Here's an oooold interview she did. It's from 8 years ago, but in it, you get to see how British she is:


In this next scene, Claire is playing the role of herself, and Amanda Detmer is playing the role of "Arlan." This is a reenactment of what happened the last time Claire was over for an L Word watch party...and I "accidentally" forgot to invite anyone else:

(Eh, sorry about the lesboscenes thing...I don't recommend going there.)

Everything's Better in England. Even Fake Lesbians.

I know I keep my obsession love for British women hidden in a sheath of subtlety. You probably had no idea that I j'adore them. How could you? I'm SO mysterious about my likes and dislikes. Today I finally feel brave enough to let you all know: I *heart* British women. I *heart* lesbians. And I *heart* British lesbians. Whew. What a relief to finally get that off of my chest. Chest. British...mmm...British chests...*sigh*

Anywayz, this is pretty cool:


Member a few years ago when they tried to adapt "Couplings" on an American station? They called it "Friends" meets "Seinfeld." It plummeted like a British girls' neckline in my fantasies. Oh well...at least we got "The Office"! :-)

You Look Like a Photograph of Yourself Taken From Far, Far Away.

Fact: There's not enough Ani Difranco on my blog.
Fiction: I once passed for Ani Difranco at a Montreal bus terminal.

Fact: Some people still don't know who Ani Difranco is.
Fiction: The parts I filmed in The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins were cut out when test audiences thought I was "showing up" Julie Andrews.

Fact: Ani Difranco needs to be all up in your ipod right next to Patty Griffin if she isn't already.
Fiction: I am a breast inspector. Don't be fooled by my badge.

This is the first Ani song I heard years ago. She had me at "hello."

("Pretty Girl" fan video by Tigerlilly)

Here's another one of my favorites:

("Untouchable Face" live)

Besides being a musical genius, she's one of my heroes in business. She's never signed a record deal even though every label you can think of has approached her several times. Yet she's sold millions of records on her own. Kinda gives me chills. Love it!

Visit Ani at www.RighteousBabe.com

Oh and by the bi...doesn't this chick look like she could be Ani's kid sister??

You're Right, Natalie. You're SO Right.

I got this comment from reader Natalie (yes, "reader Natalie," like Natalie-Smurf) on my last post that said the following:

...And Arlan, I'm very surprised that you haven't commented yet about the latest L word episode, considering your WOMAN was half naked in the shower, did it against a prison wall, and then had fake (HOT) sex with the second hottest character!!!

How could I forget to mention this? I think part of it has to do with the fact that I saw the second episode right after I saw the first one a week and a half ago, so it wasn't fresh on my mind. But uh, I have failed you, and for that, I am sorry. For Rachel Shelley's half naked body should be on my mind at ALL times. And those words should spring forth from my lips at ALL times. I bow to you. Forgive me?

Episode 1 gave us this:

(screen shot by Euniique)

...And if anyone wants to post a link to a screenshot of naked Helena in the shower or Helena gettin' done in jail, please feel free.

It's getting crowded on my futon with Mcphee, Michelle, this new Kristy Lee chick AND Rachel Shelley. We'll have to take all of our clothes off to make more room. That's a real shame. A real...shame...

Mcphee, Michelle & I Are All Getting a New Roommate...

Believe it or not, typing with your mouth opened real wide is kinda difficult. But it's possible, or I wouldn't be able to finish this post. Like millions of people tonight, I was just introduced to Ms. Kristy Lee Cook on the American Idol auditions from Philly. And um...my jaw literally dropped when the cage fighting thing came up and it hasn't closed since.

I know most of you think I make a habit of calling American Idol contestants *the gay*--Mcphee (duh!), Pickler, Clarkson--but I just calls em like I sees em. And what I see in Kristy Lee, besides the woman who will be joining Mcphee, Michelle (Ryan), and me on my futon, is a stone cold dyke. And you can quote me on that one. I have the most sophisticated gaydar this side of the Mississippi.

If you missed her the first time around, here she blows. You can thank me later:


She sort of reminds me of Elly May Clampatt from the Beverly Hillbillies.


...and this chick:


...or maybe that was just my excuse for putting another Patsy Cline vid on my site:-) Either way, Kristy Lee, marry me.

Ellen and a Lesbian Seagull ...mmmKay?

Ellen recently re-aired this phone call with one of her viewers, 88-year-old Gladys from Austin, Texas. I saw it in January 07 when it originally aired (cause I'm super, mega gay and Tivo Ellen every day) and laughed til I cried. And last Thursday when she showed it again, I laughed...til I cried. If you're in a not so great mood right now, definitely watch this clip. Anyone who can make Ellen cry laughing has got to be pure genius:



I was looking for a clip from the Beavis and Butthead movie with Cloris Leachman doing the voice of that old lady who kept talking about the "slots" (pronouncing it "sluts") in Vegas, cause her voice sounds exactly like Gladys'. I couldn't find that clip, but I came across this one. This clip brings out the 15-year-old boy in me. As does any pretty woman who walks passed me at the grocery store:

It Starts in My Pants...

The world just might be coming to an end because its 8:30am on a Sunday and I'm wide awake and preparing for a hike. Like a real hike. Not the normal one through my apartment stairs when I've lost my keys from a drunken night out. An actual hike with what I'm assuming will be trees and grass and everything! So *here's* hoping I won't have to be carried down the hill (mountain?) by my friends.

And while you're picturing me with a fanny pack and bug repellent, feast your eyes on this lovely little gem that JETGIRL left in the comments from Saturday. It's a quaint story about two power lesbians, lots of sly smiles, and the luckiest bikini top in the WORLD:


(video by Shades)

Thanks Jetgirl!

Hope everyone enjoys Episode 2 of the L Word tonight. I've seen the episode and I have to say I'm still giving two thumbs up to this season. The lesbians have spoken, and the L Word crew has listened.

:-)

Happy Birthday Lisa Rieffel!

It's Lisa's birthday Saturday, Jan 12th! Lisa fronts what AP Magazine considers one of the top 3 indie bands in the country, Killola. She also is the star of the web lezzy series GIRLTRASH from one of the writers/directors of The L Word. And above all else, she's a freakin' AWESOME person and friend.

Go to Killola's myspace page at myspace.com/Killola or leave a message here to wish her a happy birfday (she'll be reading your comments here!).

Here she is in action:


("I Don't Know Who")


("GIRLTRASH" Episode 8 from Ourchart.com)

Lady, You Had Me at "Crotchular Region."

This chick is highschool age, so be respectful, ya heard?



Yep. Now if any of you ladies over 21 would like to writhe around on your bedroom floor and film something similar to this, feel free to send me the link. Cleavage shots + interesting conversation = compelling web vids.

Cashmere Cat Calls

There's this little show called "The L Word." It's 5th season premiered last Sunday and I think some of you guys might have tuned in to see what all the fuss was about. ;-) Well, while you were over there at Showtime being all gay and shit, an even smaller network called ABC was airing the premiere of its show "Cashmere Mafia." And guess what else. Um, two chicks totally made out on it. "Nuh uh!" you say. Yeah huh!, my friends.

See look:


All kidding aside (yeah right) I have enjoyed the first two episodes of this show. It's a lot better than I thought it would be. Two snaps in a Z-formation for all of the storylines...not just the lightning-fast lesbian discovery of the blonde chick. It's entertaining. It airs Wednesday nights...so check your local listings and such.

To read my Ourchart post about the show, click here!

Oh and here's a quick interview with Bonnie Sumerville (by Grace Moon) from back in November. Towards the end she gives the wrong premiere dates for the show, cause it was pushed back due to the writer's strike.

Everything else has been...I think my period has been pushed back due to the writer's strike. Or some chick got me pregnant again. Either way, down with corporations. *Fist pump*

You Know How I Know I'm Gay?

Cause I listen to Coldplay.



Come on, you know when you're watching SVU reruns, you're hoping for the same thing. The ending is pretty righteous and a nice surprise. I rather enjoyed that little video.

If you're ever up late, sorta randy, and wanna dive into some lesbian SVU fan fiction, this website is the place for you. It'll keep you busy for hours.

The Official L Word Premiere Party: Even the V.I.P. Section Had a V.I.P. Section.

Well well well. I attended my first L Word premiere last night in Los Angeles. It was definitely trial by fire. I was thrown into the heat of hundreds of lesbians and lezbefriends who were foaming at the mouth to see the cast of the show in person, get their drink on, and get the frick out of the RAIN.

Here are some of my observations of the event:

-Lesbians fucking LOVE them some Pam Grier. There was a little walkway that all of the cast walked through in order to get to the VIP area, and people could line up with their cameras to get a shot. There was a spotlight following them...really nicely done. And when Pam Grier strutted by, you would have thought Elvis had entered the building.

(picture by Papertile)

-Pam Grier would NOT say "Who Dat?" Just as I suspected. Aside from Jennifer Beals, Pam was the most well-spoken and eloquent of all the cast when speaking to the crowd early on. Listening to her made me even more dumbfounded by the lines that are written for her. Someone has GOT to explain to me why they still have her saying things like "You betta not fo'get my black ass when you rich," etc. I thought blacksploitation was OVA. Ilene, you know my number. Holler at me.

-When Kate Moennig says the words "Ready for the sex??" into a microphone, oceans part, shoes tie themselves, and lesbians lose their goddamned minds. It's more powerful than playing Kelly Clarkson's "Since You've Been Gone" at a lesbian bar around 1am. Kate's THAT powerful.

(picture by Papertile)

-Paris Hilton was Mother Teresa in her former life. It's the ONLY explanation I can come up with to justify the fact that she's so famous now for doing absolutely nothing. She showed up sort of midway through the official premiere and walked right past me, and then went with Kate and some of the other ladies to the after party at the Falcon. The night was about hundreds of thousands of lesbians celebrating our beauty and what I assumed was a campaign for human rights (since the events were hosted by the um...Human Rights Campaign, ahem...) but you're telling me the only thing that came of it was this??: CLICK TO SEE PICS Hmmm... alright, I guess.

-V.I.P.? Well depends on your definition. I had a V.I.P. wristband that got me back with the cast and in the Paris air, and all that bull...but by the end of the night it ended up in my pocket, cause *very important people* were in the other room:-) It was SOOOO cool meeting everyone I met last night who came up to me to introduce themselves. People wanted to take pics with me. How cool of them is that?? I hate having my picture taken, but there was no way I would turn that opportunity down. You guys are amazing. Please always feel free to come up to me if you see me out. I love it. You make me feel sane in this crazy town.

-I might be pregnant with Rachel Shelley's love child. Last night when I got home, I posted a bulletin asking if you guys thought it might be possible for me to get pregnant by standing behind Rachel, staring real hard and for real long, keeping my mouth agape, muttering the words "oh my damn...oh my damn" over and over again, and crying a little on the inside. This is how things seemed to go down (ahem) with me and Rachel Shelley. She was one of the first people I saw and um...I don't care that she's on a popular tv show, or that she has a little money in the bank. I did what any self-respecting dyke would do in my situation: I stared. HARD. And imagined some sort of candlelit love making at my cabin (that doesn't exist). Rachel honey, you had me at *high heeled black boots and tight pants all up in my vicinity*.

-Lizzy the Lezzy got more pussy than I did. She always does, though. Congrats to Ruth Selwyn for being invited by the HRC to have her special Lizzy video air at all HRC L Word premieres around the country. I was so proud when I saw it. I took this very dark clip on my cell phone...


-I need to get out of L.A....STAT! Or least stop going to places that have a "list" and a "vip"...with people who don't appreciate "air quotes." Oh...man...I know the grass is always greener, but take me to a place where the *content of your character* is more important than the content of your purse!!

All in all, a great night. I was honestly there for you guys so that I could tell you how it was. If I had my ruthers (thats not how you spell that, is it) I would have watched it from my bed while eatin' bon bons and fondling my...remote control. But I loved every minute of it...from the heartwarming (a few hundred women screaming at the top of their lungs when the cast appeared gave me goosebumps, for real)...to the ridiculous (Paris Hilton?? Seriously. Hmm.) I hope there's a season 6 so we can do it all over again!

Enjoy the season...

L Word. Season 5. Episode 1. *Discuss*

So, what did you guys think of the 5th season opener?

I went to the L.A. premiere that featured the full cast in attendance. Will tell you everything tomorrow (monday)! :-)

Leave a comment and discuss the episode and your premiere parties, private watch parties, etc.

Thank You For Being a (LezBe)Friend

If you read my site, you probably watch the Golden Girls cause they rock real hard. This reader sent me this clip from an episode that I've never seen, which is a huge surprise because I watch the reruns religiously.

It rules...

Sorry the audio is so out of sync! It wasn't like that originally but I can't seem to figure out a way to fix it. Have re-uploaded several times and the original youtube video has embedding disabled. Hmmm...

I think it's safe to say that if there were no Golden Girls, there'd be no Sex and the city. Dorothy = Carrie. Blanche = Samantha. Sophia = Miranda. Rose = Charlotte.

Same goes for Designing Women, Facts of Life, Living Single...there's always the strong, smart anchor, the slut, the idiot/innocent, and the one with the acidic wit thats there to make the strong, smart anchor feel sane every once in a while.

Anyway, here's a vid I showed last August that features Bea Arthur as Carrie. Genius...still makes me laugh...

Celine Dion is Gangsta

My friend (**straight girl alert**) Saba posted this video of my second fav French-Canadian* Celine Dion on her myspace blog today. From point #7 on, I was crying from laughing so hard. So I give you, the top 12 reasons Celine Dion is fuckin' AWESOME:



I know this was meant to make fun of her, but I really do adore Celine. Click here to read my post about my adoration for her, and her adoration for gay people and black folks.

UPDATE: The second vid on that older post I just linked to isn't working. You can find the same video at http://youtube.com/watch?v=QXD4BGvPngM.

Visit Saba's music page at myspace.com/SabaLoo! Her cd "Elbo Room" is available right now and I play it all the way through at least once a week. "There Wasn't Here" and "For Dean" pretty much owned me after my last breakup. Good times. :-)

*My favorite French-Canadian is my friend Catherine, of course;-)

"And the Sky Turns to Fire..."

I'm declaring today Patty Griffin Day here at YDLM. This is my Patty playlist on Imeem.com. I think you have to do a quick sign up to the site to be able to hear these songs in their entirety (I may be wrong, let me know)...but it's WORTH IT. I've gushed over Patty over and over on my site, and I will never stop. She's my favorite songwriter. My friend Terra introduced me to her music a couple of years ago and it's changed/saved/touched my life many times over.

Press play and let 'er rip. Not everyone will be in the right mood to hear this music right now, but I'm certain it will touch *someone*...and that makes me happy:-)



Visit Patty at www.PattyGriffin.com!

Oh and I don't know if Patty is gay, straight, bi or other, but when she's singing to me in my dreams, she does mention Home Depot a lot...so you do the math;-)

Your Daily Lesbian! - Aura, 20

Name: Aura
Age: 20
Location: Brazil
Status: Single
Looking for: Relationship, Dating, Friendship
MySpace: www.myspace.com/bluredgirl

My name's Aura, I'm 20 years old [tho I still can't believe it], I live in Brazil, in a small town near by Rio de Janeiro and near by São Paulo [exactly in the middle of the way between both of them, actually :P].

Let's see...I work at a catholic advertising agency [I have no problems with religion] and plus I have a rock band yeee! I'm the lead singer! We're starting to get famous around here u-hu! I've been receiving thousands of messages for the last few weeks... Still trying to understand success...

Anyway, here's the link to it: www.bandabeatrix.com.br

My life's not perfect tho...Only closest friends know about this thing... Actually, my family is a mixture of Dana's and Carmen's... Some people think about it but pretend they don't and if someday soon I die, my funeral would probably be like Dana's... But hey, I'm still a sweet girl :D!

I'm looking forward to meet nice friends...Or someone who'd fly all the way down here to meet me up! hehehe...I love to be with my friends, watch good movies, go on crazy trips and love to go on tour with the band!

Contact Aura @ www.myspace.com/bluredgirl


(This is part of my *Daily Lesbian* feature! If you'd like to be featured, please read this post and follow the instructions. I'll feature any women who are looking for a date/girlfriend or just a friend, from anywhere in the world! Please read instructions carefully. :-) Thanks!)

Dirty Mouth? Clean It 'Tup.

This is exactly what I think the next Tic-Tac commercial should look like:



At the end of that scene, I'd pop up in the foreground holding a thing 'a tic tacs and I'd be all, "Dirty Mouf? Lemme stick my tongue up in 'dere and we'll clean 'er right up. Ya heard?"

That'd sell a few tacs, don't ya think? Yeah...

Your Daily Lesbian! - Courtney, 17

Name: Courtney
Age: 17
Location: Dallas, TX
Status: single
Looking for: Relationship, Dating, Friendship
MySpace: www.myspace.com/colormebroken

(Disclaimer: I hesitated on whether or not to actually put my real age because it is in no way indicative of my personality or maturity level. Read further and you'll see for yourself.)

Yo. Name's Courtney. Yes, I am 17, but if you were to meet me you'd probably guess I was in my mid-twenties like everyone else does. I'm in my second year at Richland College in Dallas, finishing up my AA in Film Acting. Hopefully one day I'll get to put that degree to good use as acting is my passion.

By the way, I'm not nearly as serious as I sound right now. Jesus, I sound like a professor. Okay, fun stuff. Um...stuff I do for fun... *crickets*

Just kidding. I'm a card carrying member of the Starbucks generation, I LOVE movies, and if I were to ever meet a girl who could beat me in any sort of movie trivia game, I'd marry her immediately. I'm not kidding. Speaking of marriage, I am looking, though I'd settle for just friends right now. I have not one gay friend in the entire world. I know, it's sad. So if you happen to know where I can locate some queer folk in or around Dallas, let me know. All of my friends are college age, straight, and awesome...but straight. GREAT. But straight. I'm pretty laid back, modern hippie (in more ways than one ;) *cough 420! cough*) and I really just like to go out and have a good time. I'm not vain enough to write any further but you can find out quite a bit more about me from my myspace. So seriously drop me a line no matter your age or location...I'm an open book. Peace.

Contact Courtney @ www.myspace.com/colormebroken


(This is part of my *Daily Lesbian* feature! If you'd like to be featured, please read this post and follow the instructions. I'll feature any women who are looking for a date/girlfriend or just a friend, from anywhere in the world! Please read instructions carefully. :-) Thanks!)

My New Year's Message to You

Here's a little New Year's gift for all of you:


Every day I get dozens of messages from people telling me that you enjoy reading my blog. You share your thoughts and your world with me every day and it means so much to me. It's like my fuel to keep going. Some days are harder than others...just like everyone. But even on my worst days, you guys are there to make me feel better.

I can't always respond to every message, but you better believe I read every single one. I brag about you guys to my friends...talk about you to my mom:-) You're like a second family.

I have lots of plans for 2008 that involve you. I'll be writing lots more for Ourchart.com, seeing you at Dinah Shore in April, PRIDE events in the summer, interviewing more people for Suicidegirls.com, and of course, writing daily lesbian moments all year.

There are also lots of surprises that I can't wait to share with you! Definitely stay tuned...and definitely keep sending in feedback.

Last year at this time, I posted a blog entry with this video as my way of telling you guys exactly what I think of you. Let's make it a tradition:


To anyone who feels alone or like an outcast or ashamed or guilty for being bi/gay/other, please know that I am here for you and so are thousands of my awesome readers. Always reach out for help or advice, or just a friendly ear for venting. I'm not gonna start singing "Ooh Child,"...dont worry;-)

But I am gonna get emo on your asses and leave you with this:

Your Daily Lesbian! - Britanie, 22

Name: Britanie
Age: 22
Location: The Berkshires, Massachusetts
Status: single
Looking for: Relationship, Dating, Friendship
MySpace: www.myspace.com/britaniefaith

My name is Britanie. I am bisexual. I've had my heart broken by both sexes. I have a really hard time meeting other bisexual women or lesbians around my area or in any area for that matter... I'd love to meet an intelligent, caring and compassionate woman, someone who tries their hardest to better themselves. Someone who I can make healthy meals for and who will enjoy them or at least will be willing to learn to enjoy them! lol. Someone I can go on a picnic with, sit under the stars with, have movie marathons with. Someone who appreciates the simple things in life and doesn't stress over trivial things. Anyone who struggles but continues to fight to overcome. I want to find someone who brings out the best in me. Someone to learn new things with, cry with and laugh with. a best friend and a lover!!! what could be better than that?

I'm a laid back girl, I can have fun doing just about anything or nothing at all. I love staying in, cuddling and watching movies or reading a good book. I'm an extremely open-hearted person. I'm sincere with just about everything that I put effort into, especially relationships, of any kind. When I love someone, I love deeply. I am loyal until the end. Whether it be a romantic relationship or a friendship, I never give up on those that I love, including my animals! They are the loves of my life. In many ways I am a very complex person but really, I'm just a girl who wishes for the world. I value the little things in life most and am thankful for every moment of happiness that comes my way.

Contact Britanie @ www.myspace.com/britaniefaith


(This is part of my *Daily Lesbian* feature! If you'd like to be featured, please read this post and follow the instructions. I'll feature any women who are looking for a date/girlfriend or just a friend, from anywhere in the world! Please read instructions carefully. :-) Thanks!)