Boobies of the World, Spice Up Your Life!

...every boy and every girl...

Yeah, you know the rest, I'm sure.

Alright, so as you know there are two things I like more than just about anything else on this green Earth: Your left boobie, and yes, your right boobie. I like them in that order cause of what my buddy John from the band Lola Ray said in an interview I did with him earlier this year: "...I’d say (I like) the left boob (more) because it’s closer to the heart, so it’s swollen a little bit more."

Now I didn't think there was anyone who enjoyed Heidi Klum's tits more than I, but apparently there is. And her name is Heidi Klum:


That delicious 31 seconds was brought to you by the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show that's airing next Tuesday, December 4th, and by my resident straight-friendgirl-who-I'm-hoping-to-change, Aimee (from the chats!)

If dozens of nipples bouncing up and down the runways while Heidi and Seal yodel in the background wasn't enough to make you wanna watch the show, the Spice Girls' first official U.S. reunion performances is also taking place during it! And don't even try to act uninterested. You know you bounced around your room when you were a teenager to that Zig Zag song, and then you know you had "Mama" as the ringtone for when your mom calls. No? Hmmm, maybe that was just me. Anyhoo, I'll be tunning in for that cause the Spice Girls are lesbians only real guilty pleasure in entertainment (and Tila Tequila does NOT count!). Gay dudes have their Cher and their Village People cover bands, and they've even stolen Madonna from us. But for a few months, we'll get to reclaim the Spice Girls, and for that, I am grateful this holiday season.

Here's a cute ad that's airing in Europe for Tesco (I'm guessing its like our Target). I tried to resist the urge to care, but after seeing this, I just might have to try to score a ticket to one of the reunion shows next year:



Let's do each other's nails and watch this together on Tuesday...immediately followed by topless pillow fights, of course!

(click the pic for more info)

My Suicidegirls.com Interview with *Out* Rock Goddess Otep Shamaya

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Tegan's Talkin Trash...

I get dozens of suggestions for blog posts every week from you guys. I have a mail folder on my email account alone that has well over a hundred that I'm going to have still sift through after I've initially read them. But every once in a while, I get something that I love so much that I have to push it to the head of the class for everyone to see.

A few minutes ago I received an email from this reader telling me about this youtube video she stumbled across today. You guys are seriously going to be laughing starting at about 3.5 seconds into it.

This is what the chick who did it, Victoria, had to say about the video:

I decided it would be fun to redub the "trailer talk" episodes. I'm starting with episode 6, and depending on if people like it, i'll do more ha. It's a little hard to follow on some parts because they're talking at the same time and it was a pain in the ass to try and dub. I hope you guys like it :)

...and this is a JOKE. Both Sara and Tegan are extremely amazing people and musicians. This is just for fun.

Seriously, wow. That is some amazing talent. I'm so impressed, I can't even tell you. And I think the chick is just 17 or 18. She's got skills. This shit would make Tegan and Sara piss their pants.

If you want to go to Victoria's youtube page and BEG her to make more of these, go to youtube.com/user/merrygoroundmind5 and tell her arlan sent you! Her myspace addy is on her profile as well. Not sure if she wants to be contacted that way though, so for now, throw her a comment on her vids.

Haha, here's another one she did about a week ago:



P.S. Jailbait has a sexy voice. :-)

The L Word: You're soaking in it.

Yesterday Ourchart.com's blog editor Lisa revealed a quick L Word promo involving oil, half naked chicks, and oil...and I can't tell you how much I thank her for that.

Today, she thought she'd just go ahead and get everyone's panties down by showing us this amazing new (and longer) clip...it's all SO very promising, you guys. So very promising.

And again, for the record, can I just say that for me season 5 is ALL about Helena prison sex. In fact I'm considering getting arrested JUST on the off chance that she'll still be in the west hollywood jail.

Oh and notice ALL of the sex that's going to be happening this season. They've got their act together this time. It's time to order Showtime again.



The 5th season of the L Word premieres on Sunday, January 6th. Who wants to come over for a watch party? :-)

If you missed the oil promo, click here to check it out.

Maybe I Already Wrote For the Show and Didn't Realize It?

Today I have to officially give my blessings to the 5th season of The L Word. They say you can't please all the people all the time...but I do believe this season, the writers have decided to challenge that. Ourchart.com's blog editor Lisa posted this new teaser vid for the new season.

If any of you find reason for this not to be a great fuckin' idea, speak now, or forever hold your peace:


I couldn't have said it better!

Back in May I wrote an open letter to the writers of the show and posted it on AOL's gay & lesbian website Queersighted. (Haha, remember my innocent days of never capitalizing anything and not making much sense? Well, at least one thing's changed;-) )

Since we're only weeks away from the premiere, I thought I'd repost it in case you missed it, and see if they took any of my advice:

L Word, Season 5 is being filmed right now. this is my open letter sticky note to the writers and producers:

- Bring Dana Back: make dana's ghost a character that talks to alice every single episode. this alone will probably bring back 100,000 paying fans, easy. it can be funny, touching...amazing. DO IT. she can even help oversee the successful return of lara the "soup-shef."

- Bring Carmen Back...and have there be a love triangle between shane, that hot Terminator chick and carmen. and a threesome. you owe it to us after that c*ck-tease with jenny, marina & the french-canadian-"Alias" chick last season.

- stop insulting black people by giving Kit lines like "who dat?" its a sad day when i'm longing for the return of Snoop Dogg to represent us in a better light. you serious?? come on!

- make Helena stop time every 15 minutes during an episode and speak directly to the audience to tell us her thoughts on scenes shes in. hell, have her do it for scenes she's not even in! it can be done. you remember that 80's sitcom where the daughter was half alien and could stop time by pressing her pointer fingers together? easy enough. and it needs to happen, cause rachel shelley is effin' hot and we need more of her. we don't buy that shes become a wimp who can be manipulated by a 100lb chick with an addiction problem. she's helena-effin'-peabody. let her mom come back in the first episode of season 5 and give her money back. shes learned her lesson. i've learned her lesson. we've all learned her lesson. and none of us even had to turn to drugs or hooking to do it.

- have Tasha and Alice have a sex scene in every episode. its seriously like watching candy being made. hot alice and tasha taffy. do this, and i'll always be first in line at the L word county fair. keep tasha in the states or fly alice to the middle east. i don't give a frick. alice wearing a little army helmet cocked to one side would be super cute/hot. oh, and while you're at it, bring that vampire back and have her sit in a corner naked while theydo it, telling them what moves to make next. what? dont you judge me. im trying to help YOU here.

- umm, and also, Bring Back Dylan. you crazy bitches. what have you done with her?? sex scene with her and Helena at the beach house in season 3 = hottest f**king thing you've ever shown us. don't stop 'til we get enough. ok??

- have Alice, Bette and Shane go steal sh*t more often. its just good times.

- give Alice the tv talk show leisha hailey asked for on ourchart.com. its a GOOD IDEA. a brilliant idea. make. it. happen.

- let me be security on said talk show. i don't want any lines. i can be like *steve* on jerry springer. i just wanna stare at leisha. and helena. i already wear a black shirt and jeans every day. i'll just have to bulk up. and i will, if you, what? yes: make. it. happen. oh, and while you're fulfilling fantasies, L Word gods, have my wife kat mcphee join on us on the show. cause um...yeah.

- bring singer/activist/Daniela Sea's real-life girlfriend Bitch on as a character that Max falls for. duh. and for the love of crispy creme, puh-leeease have her do the opening theme song. or Tegan & Sara. or Terra Naomi. or Sleater Kinney's ghost. or ANYONE. love ya for 3 seasons, Betty, but we want somethin' new. for shure.

-Bette and Tina = duh. hard. we love marlee matlin though, so have there be some seriously tense storyline here with the 3 of them. do you see my theme here? THREESOMES and hardcore sex. i don't think thats asking for too much. we've given you 4 good years and i've personally given up many a bowling night to watch your lesbian debauchery. *sigh* i'm so gay.

- when thousands of fans give you feedback, acquiesce to their demands. they're PAYING for Showtime. they have the right to protest/commend and have their opinions heard. don't overlook them cause, although i've found lesbians to be the most loyal people on this earth, it's a mistake to take them to for granted. they're also the most perceptive.

- in one episode of season 5, have Alice walk in wearing one of my "Shane is my HOMOgirl" t-shirts. its something her character would wear and it would be hilarious. just work it out.

- at the end of each episode, have Rachel Shelley read the credits as they go by. i'm serious. make it like she's at home watchin' Tivo and have her pause and rewind if she misses a name. i want every single name, title, comma and period read aloud by Rachel Shelley. and when you get to the logo at the end, have her "bum bum bum" the exit song. when there's a black screen, have her read from a cereal box. Lucky Charms or Cheerios will do. when she's done with that and we're 10 minutes into the next show, have her image pop up and tap dance, while saying "Mary Poppins" in a cockney accent. i dont CARE what she says or does. just make her talk and be on screen more. on the dvd, have her appear in scenes she was not originally in, and mouth other people's lines awkwardly in the background. as long as her lips are moving and her face is shinin'.

- come closer to the screen, Ilene. no, closer. let me holla at you fo' a minute. look here, uh: i love you. i think you're a bad-ass chick n' al' lat, and check it, it has to be incredibly stressful trying to please hundreds of thousands of gay and straight women every week. hell, i can't even please one all of the time. but er, uh, hear me now (*wizard of oz echo...echo...echo*): SEX SCENES...in EVERY EPISODE. like...season 1 & 2 had. member that? HOT. SEX. SCENES. that last more than 30 seconds. i'm going to go ahead and give you a time minimum here just to make this easier: at least 3 minutes each. i don't care what you have to do. bump the lead characters' salaries? i don't mind. have meeting after meeting with Showtime? hey, i'll even pour the coffee. hire me to direct the sex scenes and put my mouth where my mouth is? i'll go to Best Buy and pick up a dv camera right now. whatever you have to do, make it happen. i'll say it again: we are PAYING for Showtime to watch a show for 13 weeks. we love the strong story lines you have about women's rights, gay pride, max's penis...but ultimately, we want to walk away from each episode TURNED ON and ready to f*ck our girlfriends. and if we don't have girlfriends, we wanna leave each episode at least rubbing the nipples of a stranger at the local gay bar that we've driven to and illegally parked near to watch the episode. cause even if we're one of the few that isn't paying for Showtime, you best believe we're buying your merch, we're making fan vids that ultimately bring you paying customers, and we're dreaming of you and Shane every night. bottom line: that super cool house you live in that we've now seen on the ourchart videos (that keeps us awake at night), we bought that sh*t. so uh, give us...what we want.

more power to you for being a power-lesbian. baby, don't stop 'til YOU get enough. make that money and get plenty of ass. but still, give us...what we want.


ahem.

thank you.

-arlan
the jackhammer...crenshaw...jankins...williams...hudson. the 1st.
*throws mic on the floor of the stage and walks off slowly*

Rachel Goes Gay...

I introduced you guys to my wonderful friend Rachel and her writing a couple of weeks ago. Click here to read the original post about her.

I thought you guys might find this interesting. It's the story of a straight girl (totally Rachel) who does a little experimenting. Since Rachel is English and my friend, you all have permission to read this with an English accent like you're that Bridget Jones...

It was dark and bright and we all grinned and choked on our own jokes. You flung cameras around and then it was the lens on us, and we were posing and it felt like happiness. The bar called you, or you chased it anyway. And then we were alone, me and her and it was the first of a few. Alcohol hazed memory means I don’t know what was said. But then it was chaste kisses on my head, cheek, lips. Lips. And then? Oh. Oh. The first of many firsts. And slowly my vision was darkened and horizontal but it was broken and filled with light when we were applauded by the audience.

And then we found you, seducing the bar. I rambled and she talked and our voices combined but there was no harmony to it, just jarred notes. Peacock features, I let you in and you wanted to be a part of the club as much as I wanted to enroll you. We poisoned ourselves and headed to where the bodies were. A few beats later, you tried to re-enact what had already been taken. Clumsy and wet and a little messy, the feeling of firsts was not forgotten and I was high on feeling, something. Feeling.

Greedy guts dragged you or maybe you chased, and there was a wall. Definitely a wall. And your back flat against it, and my body pressed into yours. Practice was the idea, perfection being far from this. But you had greater ambitions and my mind even clouded and inebriated guessed what you were hinting at. My hand in yours, we were invincible. Surrounded by others but sheathed in hardboard and cheap plastic, and it suited us. Cheap. We certainly weren’t hardwearing, and I giggled while you moaned. I was intoxicated by the liquor on your tongue. Your hands.

She had the first, but you took the seconds and then the first of another. And that was a first. But even when; I thought of her. It seemed unfair, suddenly three was two and I didn’t want our company to spoil the broth.

You were pushy and open and so, so, exposed. And I was easily persuaded. Degraded. But oh, how we laughed.

Then I halted and you protested but I was filled with equality and fair trade and we left in search of the other. We fell back into the pulse and once empty, now I was spilling over with gluttony and pride and sickness, and oh. White lies and faker smiles than the original, but soon we were just as hazy and apathetic as before. But oh, oh, oh. How we laughed.

The proximity then was suffocating but I breathed the oxygen from your lungs and that was clean enough for me. Now I breathe and there is space and how I wish I could close it and breathe for two again.

Your Daily Lesbian! - Rachael, 19

Name: Rachael
Age: 19
Location: Guelph, Ontario, Canada
Status: Single
Looking for: Friendship, Dating
MySpace: www.myspace.com/rachbish

Hey! I currently attend the University of Guelph, majoring in Sociology. I’m living with two of my best friends from highschool, in a cute, cozy basement apartment. I’m focused on my studies and having fun. I absolutely love to travel! I just backpacked through Spain during the summer, and I am already planning more prospective travels. I am a big animal lover too. I have a 4 month old orange kitten named Ambrosius. The name came from the movie the Labyrinth (staring David Bowie). I also have two miniature schnauzer puppies named Katie and Chloe, who are sisters. They are my world.

I enjoy random (mini) road trips, going for walks, riding bikes, watching movies, bowling, cooking, wine, blankets and pillows, yoga (although I haven’t been in awhile), music, naps, Arlan’s Daily Lesbian Moment blog... among many things! I really enjoy cute, cuddly nights in at home, but I also love to go out for a few drinks and just relax and converse with someone.

I am an extremely laid back girl, but I also don’t take s*** from people. I’m often told that I am very down to earth and quite mature for my age. I’m basically looking for a girl who is outgoing and isn’t too reserved. A girl who I can be silly with, but is also mature. She must be genuine, nice, honest, and fun. She also must be intelligent, passionate and happy. Someone I can learn from, but can also learn from me. If you are interested in actually getting to know me (because these types of "about me" blurbs are always pretty generic), then contact me through myspace! I actually only use facebook now-a-days, but I will use my myspace as a means of communication for all you lovely ladies! :) byebyebye!

P.S. That beastly girl in the background of my picture is one of my best friends/roommates!

Contact Rachael @ www.myspace.com/rachbish


(This is part of my *Daily Lesbian* feature! If you'd like to be featured, please read this post and follow the instructions. I'll feature any women who are looking for a date/girlfriend or just a friend, from anywhere in the world! Please read instructions carefully. :-) Thanks!)

Daily Lesbian Success Story #69

Hee, I said 69.

As most of you know, one of my main goals in life for the past year and a half has been to help you guys meet new friends and maybe even a girlfriend through my website. I set up the "Lesbian Blog Dating Experiment" on myspace in the spring of 06 which has since brought together countless people. And this year I started featuring a different chick (kinda) each day in my "Daily Lesbian" section of this blog.

I get messages from people who give me their success stories all the time. And it's ALWAYS amazing to hear about. I still can't believe it, actually. That I somehow helped two people find each other in any way...boggles my mind. This week I got a couple of wonderful messages from two readers. I featured Amber a few weeks ago, and this is what happened next, in their words:

Amber (California) said...

Arlan, I just wanted to tell you THANK YOU! You said that knowing that you got people "laid" made you happy. Well I just wanted you to know that you got me more than just laid... Because of you I found the girl of my dreams!!!! With the kind of love where you both hold each other and cry because it's just THAT DAMN AMAZING! We were sitting here last night thinking about how we found each other and Rachael and I wanted to thank you! About two nights ago Rachael said that I was talking in my sleep and said "Arlan is awesome" or something to that effect. hahahaha! Seriously I never knew that love could be so deep. She is the most amazing person I have ever met! I'm so happy! It's the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me, all thanks to you! :D Thanks cupid!

-Amber

Rachael (Washington) said...

Dearest Arlan
OMG!! Seriously?? I had NO IDEA that two people could mesh so well, feel so similar, and love each other so intensely as Amber and I do. I really don't even know what to say, except for the fact that I am SO LUCKY!!!! I sent her a message, just saying hello, and here we are. I'm sitting at her computer writing you a MASSIVE OVERDUE OH MY GOD THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU letter! Amber and I had INSTANT chemistry, and when we met in person for the first time I was literally weak in the knees. I actually hopped on a PLANE and flew to see her--THAT is how amazing our connection is. A connection that would never have happened, had not the hands of fate stepped in and you posting her as the Daily Lesbian. The biggest and most amusing irony of it all (in my opinion), is that I wasn't even looking for a girlfriend. I almost never pay attention to the Daily Lesbian features. (I read your other posts of course, LOL) But I saw her picture, I sent her a message, and here we are, madly in love and ridiculously happy. I want you to know that your featuring available lesbians WORKS. Please keep posting the Daily Lesbian feature, knowing personally that it worked *magically* for me, so I can only IMAGINE how many other happy couples there have been/are going to be.

You ROCK Arlan. Thank you so so so much. I'm am so with Amber. She is the most amazing woman I have ever met. Thank you for bringing her into my life.

Love,
Rachael

First of all, doesn't Amber look like a young Bjork? And second of all, how freaking cool is that?? I wish you guys only the best! And thiiiird of all, as beautiful and exciting as this all is, I can't help but to feel just the wee bit down that after all my work hooking people up, I still can't seem to find a girlfriend, or even a date for that matter. People say that I shouldn't look so hard. But to be honest, I haven't been. For months. But now I'm your daily lonely lesbian...*sigh*

Alright, back to the celebration! If you are single, and would like to be featured on my site, go read this myspace blog entry to see how. If you are already in a relationship and you want to shout it to the world, visit this blog entry to view and add to the nearly 500 couple pics that have been posted just in the last month.

If you have a similar success story about meeting someone on my site or myspace page, leave a comment or send me a myspace message and I'll post it!

If you would like to date me, holler at your girl:-)

My Globes Need Warming

So this is a live feed of what's happening in my bedroom RIGHT NOW:


Naw, not really. But that'd be frickin' awesome, wouldnt it??

This reader sent in this clip today and um, I'm so not worthy. Thank you! The clip is to bring attention to global warming. If you're interested in finding out more information on that, go to their website at http://climateguards.com/.

But also, remember that time I showed you those two hot chicks in jeans and tank tops making out and stuff? Look at that again.

2 Hot Girls in the Shower.

Need I say any more?

I'm very impressed with this reader right now. She's got her mind in the right place. Her thumb on the pulse. Her cleavage all up in my face. *Sigh* I wish.

So what do you do if you have a webcam, a couple of hot chicks who are good actresses with imppecable comedic timing, and you are a FUCKING GENIUS? Um, you do this:


...and then you do this:


Why didn't I think of this?? You can see lots more from this creative team on their youtube page at youtube.com/user/LKGProductions!

Lesbian Vampire Orgy...and Stuff.

So I guess there's this vampire convention that happens in November, and this chick Vamp wanted to get votes for Ms. Vampire Convention or somethin, so she made this video. While I was watching it, I found myself nodding my head "yes" to all of her questions. What do you think that means about me?



I like how when she says "Horrorfest," she has a lisp cause of the teeth. It's like if Cindy Brady grew up and got all goth and gay on our asses.

If you want to see a hot clip involving more lesbian vampires (minus the lisp), click here!

Arlan: serving hot cocoa to cold lesbian vampires since 2007.

Help A Reader Win Paramore Tickets:-)

An awesome reader left this comment on my myspace page this morning:

arlan u seriously make my days better =D
i wanted to ask u for some help cuz since i know sooo many ppl read ur blogs everyday. i entered a contest to win some tickets to see this band called paramore because i loooove them and the lead singer is so cute. shes my future wife. so anyways i entered my video on youtube and i need to get views on it to help me win those tickets! so i guess even this comment will get me some views.
thank you for being so awesome =D

Thought I'd go a step further and make this a blog post. Here's her vid. Good luck with the contest!


And here's a cool acoustic version of Paramore's HUGE hit "Misery Business:"

(add them @ http://myspace.com/paramore)

If you like this kinda music, you might dig my good friend Danelle Philips and her band "Congress of a Crow" out of Tulsa, Oklahoma:

(add them @ www.myspace.com/congressofacrow)

Missy Higgins' Cherrie Has Officially Been...

Exactly 4 weeks ago, I said the following about Australian singer Missy Higgins:

I'm no Perez Hilton and I'm not in the business of outing celebs just for the sake of outing them. But I certainly hope the rumors are true and this chick's at least bi cause I have a mad crush on her.

Well guess what, kids. Pop open a bottle of Shiraz, cause Missy just came out:


(Cherrie is Australia's magazine for "not-so-straight girls")

Thanks to reader Leah for telling me about this breaking story. I have to admit though, I thought she was talking about Missy Elliot at first. That'll happen in 08'. Quote me.

There's lots more info here. To see my post about Missy from last month, click here.

My Wife Just Got Engaged!

CLICK HERE TO SEE MY POST ABOUT IT ON OURCHART.COM!

Above the Curve

There's an article about me, my friend Ruth Selwyn (Lizzy the Lezzy creator) and Steph Stance in the DECEMBER 07 issue of Curve magazine! Apparently, we're um..."gay myspace stars." haha! subscribers already have the issue and it should hit newsstands across the u.s.a. in the next few days. Thank you Jennifer for the awesome scan!

Live Webcam Chat Thursday @ 7pm Cali Time

This vid will go live when I do:


If you have a webcam you can enter the "studio" and say hi.

If you don't have a webcam, you can talk in the chatroom and ask me questions.

There might be boobs of some sort...so stop by and check it out.

http://operator11.com/shows/5475/episodes/30170

I've been waiting years to see Kate *on* Leisha!

Even before I started writing for Ourchart's blog section, it was public knowledge that I really dig Ourchart's set up. Their vibe. Their deal, if you will. I don't spend a lot of time on the chart part of it--mostly because I have my hands full with the 43,000+ friends on Myspace and the lesbian drama of West Hollywood--but you can't beat Ourchart's exclusive behind-the-scenes video clips and interviews and shiz. And I can tell you from personal experience that the people who have their hands in the every day production of keeping the site going are extremely passionate and devoted to it.

The bad news is, these clips remind us that season 5 of the L Word will introduce even more new characters whose story lines won't be fleshed out. But the good news is, these clips show Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey talkin' about stuff for a few minutes. And that's always good times.

Pour yourself some hot cocoa, light a candle, and curl up on your sofa. Kate's about to speak...


...switch legs. Leisha's about to speak...


Just had an idea. Back in the olden days, my favorite daytime drama "General Hospital" used to have these fantasy shows every Thanksgiving. Because it airs 5 times per week, you get to really know these characters. So one day per year, they'd mix things up and have people hook up with other people that they never could in the regular storyline. What if the L Word had a fantasy episode where Leisha Hailey played the role of Shane, and Kate was Jenny and Mia was Tina...sexcetera.

...and also, Rachel Shelley (aka Helena) was my girlfriend and we did it a lot on and off camera. I, for one, would tune in to that. Wouldn't you?

Bionic Woman, Meet Lesbionic Woman. Then Do Her.

A reader named Julissa sent in this video clip and I have to say it's one of my favorites of the year. You guys have probably figured out that I'm completely in love with Bionic Woman's Michelle Ryan, and I watch the show despite it's faults just to catch a glimpse or 60 of her rockin' bod/face/lips/e'rything.

I've posted about the show many times in the past few weeks, and have tried many ways to somehow incorporate the fact that the word "bi" is at the front of her title. Someone else figured out a muuuuch better way to handle this:



Haha, I liked when she hit that dude with the geetar. That's some funny shit. If you wanna learn more about the people who made this video, go to www.g4tv.com. Thanks again Julissa!

All the "Girls" Say...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Breasts.

Let's all take a moment, shall we?

"Breasts."

Yeah, think about it.

Mmmmm...

Ok so I just upgraded my membership on Netflix.com and while I was browsing around, adding things to my queue, I stumbled across a documentary about one of the most beautiful things on this semi-green earth: BREASTS.

In fact, it's called "Breasts: A Documentary" just to keep things clear. Obviously it had me at hello. There's a new feature on Netflix that lets you view certain movies immediately online instead of having to wait that whole 24 hours or so to receive it in the mail. And since the one I'm talking about is called "Breasts: A Documentary," I didn't ask any more questions. I just hit the play button and let 'er rip. So I'm about 20 minutes into the 50 minute docu, and um...they're not kidding! There are breasts ALL over my screen. Two of them are mine, cause I took my shirt off and joined the boobie party. I just felt like I could, ya know?

Here are a few things you need to know before you run out to find the docu.

1. There are young chick breasts all up in the screen.
2. There are also old, old breasts all up in the screen.
3. There are young chicks talkin' bout their breasts and sayin the word "breasts" and "my breasts" a LOT.
4. 2+3.
5. It was released in 1996.
6. It's called "Breasts: A Documentary." <---thats all you really need to take from this whole post.

Alright, so yeah it's not meant to be a titillating piece or anything. It's just an interesting look at boobs. And I think it's meant to make you more at peace with being ok with what you were given. Small 'ens. Saggy 'ens. Whatevs...love your breasts. And while you're at it, let me love them too. Cause I already do.

True. Effin. Story.

P.S. Show me yours. And stuff. Ahem.

Netflix has 700 gay & lesbian movies + all seasons of "The L Word" for rent, delivered to your home discreetly. Plus, with your membership watch full seasons of "Xena," "Law & Order: SVU," and more online instantly. Click here to try it for FREE for 2 weeks.

The Hei(di) Life

UPDATE: Reader Tira hooked us up with the addy for Heidi's official page. It's http://www.heidimarie.no/articles/index/1. And reader Piper hooked us up with her myspace page which is myspace.com/heidimarievestrheim. Thanks Tira and Piper!


If you've been reading my blog for a few months, you know that in addition to my obsession with the British, I also have an affinity for Norwegians.

I just stumbled across this lezzy chick named Heidi Marie Vest who is from Bergen, Norway (I've been there!). There's not much info about her online as far as I can tell, and these vids were added to her youtube account almost a year ago, but Im absolutely fascinated...mostly cause of the beautiful confusion the vids are causing.

I think I saw 10 of her at the club last night:

("Time")

Interesting...

This is a strange one that sort of reminds me of Madonna, mid career...

("Beautiful Homes")

She gay, y'all.

Dude, We're Gettin' a Dell Goin' to Hell

I'm not sure how I missed this series of web commercials that are now being shown on tv in some states, but er, did someone say "brilliant??"

I just read about this on Ourchart.com's The Hookup where I blog a couple of times per week. Lisa (aka OC Editor) gives you the foureleven about where these came from and such...

if you want more info and you wanna see...

#1 of 4 in this series, click here!

Then check out #2 @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niUsik0NQmc

This is the 3rd installment:


And you can see the 4th @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xNKuEI_p_k

For all of you who have never seen the original commercials that they're taking this from, this is a collection of 15 of them that have aired over the past couple of years:

Live Webcam Chat Today @ 3pm Cali Time

I'M HOSTING A CASUAL WEBCAM CHAT TODAY, FRIDAY NOV. 9TH. THIS VID WILL GO LIVE AT 3PM CALI TIME!

..

TO JOIN THE CHATROOM (WITHOUT A WEBCAM) OR THE JOIN "STUDIO" (WITH A WEBCAM), CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW!

http://operator11.com/shows/5475/episodes/29251

Digital, Digital Get Down!

I've been having a great time on Operator11.com with you guys! You have made my "show" the 2nd highest ranked show of the week already! It's also the 7th highest ranked show of the last 30 days (and climbing, it seems)

If you haven't visited my webshow on the site yet and you wanna know the foureleven (4-1-1 for those of you who arent hip to my jive yet), go to my profile @ operator11.com/people/8481

This was one of the 3 or 4 rounds I did yesterday. There were about 100 people watching live and in the chatroom, and that number has been ranging from 40-350+ each show.

If you want to go to the page and read the chat transcript from this show, go to:
http://operator11.com/shows/5475/episodes/29153:

About half way through this one in particular is where I started to lose my mind:-)
..

Pink Ribbon Scars That Never Forget...

UPDATE: Due to popular demand, Rachel has agreed to let everyone see her private writings on a journal she has online. Go to ConsonantVowel.livejournal.com if you want to see more. She'd love to hear from you.

I have a friend named Rachel. Rachel is from Birmingham, England. So far, Rachel is NOT the gay. But believe me, y'all, when I tell you, I HAVE tried...so very very hard to change that. *sigh*

So yes, Rachel is a beautiful person inside and out. She recently wrote something on an online journal that is rocking my world right now. It touched me so much that I asked her if I could share it with my readers. I know it wasn't written for a chick, but I think you will all agree that we're all searchin' for a love-slash-happy-obsession like the one Rachel's ready to give out:

It could be good. I could be good, you know? That's the frustrating thing about this all. I mean, I'm a nice person. Sure I'm snarky and sarcastic and easily irritated sometimes, but when it comes down to it, I'm not mean. And I can be really nice. And I'm obsessive, which yeah, could be bad when it's bad, but if it's good then like...I'm yours. And I'll know everything I can know. I'll know what you won't even know. I'll have you figured out like a map; I'll know every route, memorized, veins like rivers tangling over mountains of bone. I'll know the terrain. Soft, rough, smooth, dry; skin like grass, like sand, like shingle.

A sense of ownership. But a gift that could be taken at any moment, not to be taken for granted, but to be cooed over, treasured. Like a doll. I'd know every joint. Your make and break points. The right angle at which to shatter you into pieces, and just the tools to put you back together again. But I wouldn't. Break you. Just memorize every bolt. Every curve under-the-knee shape. I'd know you like a statistic. The angle of your lashes. The blue-green-brown-grey of your irises. I'd look after you. Like a doll.

By the way, I don't have any tattoos and haven't had much of an urge to get any in my 27 years. And I don't wanna get all Will Ferrell-as-James Lipton on your asses by overselling this, but if I were to get a tattoo, it would be of some of these words. Yep.

Oh and Rach, the invitation is ALWAYS open... *making that face*

Melànge à trois

I caught this music video on LOGO a few weeks ago and have had it saved to my DVR since. Recently this reader brought it to my attention again.

This is the official description:

"Fictional character Kevin, Mélange's friend becomes a victim of a hate crime. Mélange confronts those including the "Church" who condemed him and his lifestyle."

I hope this helps someone out there...

("Gay Bash" by Mélange Lavonne)

Add Mélange as a friend at www.myspace.com/melangelavonne

"You Do a Good Kate."

You guys remember this little show back in the 21st century that was all about dyke drama and fashion and "West Hollywood" and tigers and bears?

For those of you who weren't alive back then, it was a show called "The L Word." Before I continue, you have to imagine me wearing a smoking jacket, pulling a curved pipe slowly up to the side of my mouth while crossing my legs and raising one eyebrow. I'm sitting in front of a cozy fire in the east wing of my mansion, and there's a small man lightly playing piano near the hearth. I have a strange accent that's a mixture of Mr. Belvedere, Benson, Frasier, and Boner from "Growing Pains."You all *there* with me? Cool...

As I was saying, The eeeeel Word was a delightful romp in the hay with the upper crust of the lesbian scene here in Los Angeles...even though it was filmed in Vancouver. I prefer the lower crust of the lesbian scene, myself. The drunk girl in the corner who thinks she's on the dance floor with the hottest chick in the club, but is actually just butt-lovin' the wall. That chick who wanted to tongue-kiss me at Gay Pizza the other night until she realized I wasn't ever on Tila Tequla's show. Ah, the list could go on and on, but that's another story for another time.

Peep this brand new video taken from the last few days of shooting here in L.A. It comes directly from Ourchart.com's really cool section called "Come on Ilene!"


If you digged that, you should really check out the rest of the behind the scenes stuff @ http://www.ourchart.com/l_word_insider. Haha, if you say that title really fast, it sounds like "The L Word Inside Her." Hmmm...indeed.

Youtube Goes Gay For Oprah

CLICK HERE TO SEE MY NEW POST ON OURCHART.COM!

Get With Nicky Click, Lickity Split

Nicky Click told me I should check out her stuff on myspace. She said I'd dig it. The first words I heard when I Nicky-clicked on her myspace player were "Sex! Sex! Sex!"

...so needless to say, she was right.

She's queer. Her music's queerer, and if you live in the U.S., she's most likely heading your way on her Nov/Dec tour. Go to her page @ myspace.com/nickyclick to check the technique and to see if you're in her path of seduction.

Oh and Nicky's "I'm on my cell phone" is the best "experimental" song I've heard since Kelly's "Shoes."

My New Live Webcam Show!

Yo! If you wanna join us again for the fun, click on the link below and sign up to the Operator11.com site. Then add me as a friend and subscribe to my "show" and whenever I have a new live episode, you'll get an email letting you know to stop by.

http://operator11.com/people/8481

If you have a webcam, you can enter the studio and talk to everyone on camera. If you don't have a webcam, you can type in the chatroom and I can answer you live. I'm not sure how often I'll have a show...definitely a few times this week starting out...

This is an example of how an average "episode" has been going down. I think you'll agree that if you are NOT in the chatroom with us, I just look CRAZY like I'm talking to myself...so join us, it's been a good time:



See more shows and read the transcripts from them @ http://operator11.com/people/8481

Your Daily Lesbian! - Lauri, 22

Name: Lauri
Age: 22
Location: Dorothy, NJ
Status: Single
Looking for: Friends, Relationship
MySpace: www.myspace.com/laurit3385


"Well, let me start off by saying that I'm a bisexual...and by bisexual, I mean like 70% lesbian/30& straight LOL!! I used to be in the military (yep, a woman in uniform LOL)..thats all I've known for the past 4 years! I pretty much got out because I dated all women and you're not supposed to be "gay" in the military and I want to live my life by my own rules! I just got out and i have no idea what to do with myself yet!

I know that I am going to go to school next semester for Radiography, but thats about it! I don't want to stay in NJ forever so I plan on moving as soon as I have my life together! I have a pretty goofy personality, I like anyone who can make me laugh! I like to use sarcastic a little...haha ok ALOT! I don't like to go out too much, I'm more of a homebody! I like to stay in, cuddle, and watch a good movie! I like to dance and sing!! Music is a HUGE part of my life! I even have a nickname that is juke box because I can sing every word to like every song!! I like to travel, thanks to the military! I've seen alot of europe and met lots of great people on the way and that is the reason I am doing this, I want to continue! So if you're looking for love, or just a friend, contact me on my myspace!!"

Contact Lauri @ www.myspace.com/laurit3385


(This is part of my *Daily Lesbian* feature! If you'd like to be featured, please read this post and follow the instructions. I'll feature any women who are looking for a date/girlfriend or just a friend, from anywhere in the world! Please read instructions carefully. :-) Thanks!)

Poor Horatio!

I love "Andy Griffith."

I'm watching it right now and always end up watching 2 or 3 episodes in a row. I can't help it. I'm like that with "I Love Lucy" or "Gomer Pyle"...so addictive! I tell you, that Desilu Productions knew what they were doin.

It really surprises me that I've never seen the official video for my favorite Peaches song "Fuck the Pain Away," as it stars the lovely Mr. Griffith and Don Knotts in a bitter rivalry when Peaches comes to town. That's some sexy shiznit:

Wanna go to a taping of Ellen with me?

hey guys...

sooo, i have 4 passes to see a filming of Ellen's talk show on Tuesday, November 13th...and i want to give away two of the spots to readers of my blog! :-)



if you live in or near los angeles, OR plan to be visiting here during that time, and you don't mind sitting next to *this* daily lesbian, send me a message at myspace.com/idgogayforangelina or interludemagazine@yahoo.com (one OR the other, pleasE) and let me know a bit about why you want to see the show. i'll let you know if you win the passes...

you might recall that i went to a taping a few weeks ago with my mom while she was visiting. she had a fantastic time and me, well...see for yourself:



these passes are completely free (dont ever let anyone sell you passes to Ellen's show!) and i received them by going through the show's website guidelines, being on a wait list for a few months. i have friends that would love to go im sure, but i think it would be cool to do it this way. plus, i'll let them all fight for that 4th pass;-) did someone say naked K-Y wrestle on my balcony?? yes, i think someone did.

Lindsay has some good taste;-)

Regular readers of my blog will understand why I'm smilin' from ear to ear if you look very closely at the CD in her hand...



Lindsay Lohan taken this week...

"Saving the World, One Fanning at a Time!"

Click here to see my new post on Ourchart.com!

"Monday, while on a rare solo mission to get breakfast at a little cafe near my apartment, I ran into Elle Fanning, Dakota Fanning's 9-year-old sister. It was a chance encounter that has me re-thinking my...Click here to read the rest!

My Friends Like the Word "Fuck."

Last week, Jenny Owen Youngs got all jiggy with/without the word "fuck" in her new music video. And now Terra just released this censored version of the video for her song "Up Here" where the word is all up in the mix.

Peep the scene:



If you'd like to see the UNCENSORED version, go to her official website at www.terranaomi.com and look in the member/vip area.

Your Daily Lesbian! - Jennifer, 33

Name: Jennifer
Age: 33
Location: Danbury, CT
Status: Single
Looking for: Dates, Friends, Relationship
MySpace: www.myspace.com/alexpkitten



"I'm currently enrolled in a radiologic technology program at a local college. I hold a B.A. in Philosophy (from '96). I'm a great person, with a super sense of humor. I love animals, nature, my vast eclectic music collection. I'm looking for people to spend time with, become good friends with and hopefully find that special person to become lovers with and share life together. I have a lot to offer and have had some crazy relationships in the past. I'm looking for something normal...less dramatic and more gratifying - intellectually, emotionally, physically. "

Contact Jennifer @ www.myspace.com/alexpkitten


(This is part of my *Daily Lesbian* feature! If you'd like to be featured, please read this post and follow the instructions. I'll feature any women who are looking for a date/girlfriend or just a friend, from anywhere in the world! Please read instructions carefully. :-) Thanks!)

I Like When Girls Kiss Girls.

Ok ladies, instead of raging against the premise of this song and video, I'm going to suggest that we all give in to it. Surrender to the bass. Let the lyrics enrapture you like a fine mist. Just pretend you're the dude in the vid, and admit that you're going to make this your myspace profile song for at least a day;-)


("Girls Kiss Girls" by Pittsburgh Slim)

Amen Pittsburgh Slim (such an unfortunate moniker), Amen.